Free As A Bird
by RoseByAnyOtherName215
Summary: Sadie's life's been bad for awhile. Could she possibly find a friend in a troublesome boy by the name of John Lennon? He shows her how to live life to the fullest and soon realizes he may need her as much as she needs him.
1. A Day in the Life

_**FREE AS A BIRD**_

"My God, you don't actually intend to play _that _do you?" that ever so haughty musician sneers at his best mate. His doe eyed friend simply ignores the rude comment and continues plucking chords on his ancient guitar.

"It's only a pub."

"But it's in public! People will see us. Hear us. We have to be absolutely grand!"

"So. We aren't a real band. No one's expecting us to be any good anyway," the younger boy shrugs nonchalantly. The other boy's eye twitches in irritation. "Come on, mate. What if someone likes us? We could _become_ a real band. Don't you see it? We could be world famous!"

"Again, it's only a pub."

"We could be world famous!"

At last, the boy finally stopped playing his guitar. "Have I not stressed enough that this is a _pub?!_ We are not gonna become world famous from a place that holds 25 people."

"Yea, and you also said that I would never be able to have a bird that I'd never be able to find the right girl and fall in love. And yet, I just so happened to have found exactly that in Sadie here, haven't I?"

The redhead on the couch beside them glances up at them briefly before returning to her drawing with a roll of her eyes. She snuggles close to the older boy when he sits down beside her, slinging an arm around her shoulders. "Really, I think what he's playing would be just fine."

"Ahh, not you too!"

"Sorry," she mutters, not sounding sorry at all. "Fine. Instead of playing something everyone's heard before, why don't you just play one of the millions of songs you guys have already written yourselves?"

The two boys look at each other and then at her. "Do you really think they're good enough?"

She scoffs, setting aside her sketchpad to focus her full attention on them. "Are you boys kidding? You're songs are absolutely amazing. And that's not a biased opinion at all. They're great. Sing one." They both look at her skeptically. "Oh come on boys. We've been through hell and back together. You think I'd lie to you? Knowing how important I know this is to you? No. Believe me. You boys are something special. One day, I promise you that everyone in this whole world will know the genius of Lennon and McCartney."

"You think?"

"Absolutely. Just one thing."

"Ya?"

"Please find your band a better name than Johnny and the Moondogs."

* * *

_Chapter One  
__A Day In The Life_

_Several Months Before..._

I stare at my white ceiling. The longer I stare at it, the more frustrated I become. I slowly begin to think about how annoying it is. Why does it have to be there? What right does it have to block my view of the sky? I certainly never gave it permission to. It's so taunting, too. Its stupid white paint job couldn't be any farther from my personality, the room as well. White is so innocent, so bright, and I'm, well…not. I've gone through far too much to be.

Okay, so, that is very off track. But I suppose I'm just that kind of person. And by the way, I'm not totally insane; I'm just beyond tired at the moment. I haven't slept in nearly two days. Tiredly, I turn my head to look at my clock. 11:44. Perfect.

Quickly, I glance around the room before sitting up and sliding off my bed. I try to walk as quietly as I can so as not to walk the other girl up. I struggle for a few seconds with the window and I cringe as it squeaks. I look over my shoulder to find no one rushing up to me angrily. Expertly, I slip out the window and scramble up the shingles. I don't stop until I'm in the dead center of the right side of the roof. I rest my hands under my head and gaze up at the stars. _Why does life have to be so unfair?_ I ask myself just like I do nearly a hundred times a day. It's like life just decided to take out all its anger out on me. That or it was proof that life had a sick sense of humor. I don't usually pity myself like this. I just shrug it off or bottle it up inside, as I do with everything else.

I sigh in frustration at myself when I realize I forgot my drawing book. Wistfully, I look on as a group of teens run down the street below me. Their laughter and smiles are what makes me so sad. What I wouldn't give to have the chance to be happy.

One of my teachers the other day asked my class what our greatest dreams for life were. We could either share or keep it to ourselves. I kept it to myself obviously. My dream is to someday actually mean something, maybe not to the world, but just a person or two. That isn't too much to ask for is it?

For awhile I just lay there on the roof with my eyes closed. I listen to the familiar noises that could only belong to the nights in the city of London. The laughter of rebel teens, the splash of the car tires driving through the forever wet streets, the low hum of traffic off in the distance, and the far away musical beats of the clubs toward the heart of the city.

Thinking of music, I find myself dreaming of the Cavern in Liverpool. I really want to go there someday. To hear such music live, to no longer have to sneak around in search of a radio, to not have to sit outside the door of the ever angry Caretaker's office in hopes of catching a tune or two. For me, to listen to music is to be free for a moment. To one day go to the Cavern is a dream that I fear at this rate I'll never fulfill.

Feeling as if I've been up here a bit too long, I slide down the roof and back into my room through the window. Thankfully my absence remained unnoticed. Good. I crawl under my blankets and am greeted welcomingly by their warmth. Sleep finally graces me with its presence as I snuggle into my soft blankets.

"What the bloody 'ell are ye still in bed fer! Get up and make me breakfast already!" someone shouts angrily. I bolt upright out of my peaceful dream. I do so very much hate being awoken in such a manner nearly every morning.

"Well!"

"I'm up, I'm up. I'll have it ready in half an hour," I reply sleepily.

"I want it in my room in my office in ten minutes," the woman snaps before whirling around and storming out of my room.

I fall back onto my bed. The woman, no she doesn't deserve to be called that. The demon from hell that has just so rudely woke me up is Ms. Kollins, the owner/caretaker of Ms. Kollins's Home for Unwanted Girls. Real pleasant, eh? The Unwanted Girls part is a bit of a downer for us 'unwanted girls'. I mean, sure a few actually weren't wanted, but most of the girls had been wanted but their families were dead, like mine. The name of the orphanage couldn't just have been Ms. Kollins's Home for Girls? Anyway, Ms. Kollins, the demon from hell, is just that. She has short, scraggly black hair and gruesome yellow, rotting teeth. She's a large woman, towering over most men; a real beast. The beady eyed woman thrives off of the fear from the innocent girls she terrorizes. She yells at us and hits us just for breathing it sometimes seems. As for me, since life just adores me, am her personal slave. I get the pleasure of attending to her every beck and call. I'm forced to clean the entire three floor building everyday, make all her meals for her, and am the victim of her worst punishments on a daily basis. Most likely her belt will take a bite out my back and what little pride I have left when she gets her breakfast late this morning.

I rush up to her room as fast as I possibly can when I finish cooking. She tells me to come in after I knock on her door. Without a word, I set the tray down on her table. I glance at the grandfather clock she's so fond of and realize I'll be late for school yet again. Thankfully, all she gives me is a scowl before she allows me to run up to my room and get my backpack.

I don't have time to check my appearance so I have no choice but to run my fingers through my hair as I run to my school in hopes of looking halfway decent. It seems like life is having an alright day because it lets me make it to class just seconds before the morning bell rings. My teacher, Ms. Parkhurst gives me a look but says nothing. As usual, I sink into a desk in the back row. Prudence Mulroney and her girlfriends always sit in the front row so to avoid them I sit in the back. I take back what I said about life as I got here on time when it allows that evil brunette and her friends to sit in every desk surrounding me.

"Oi, girls, are you ready to go on the trip to Liverpool? My parents signed the slip last night. What about you? Oh wait, that's right, you haven't got any! They didn't want some freak like you," Prudence taunts cruelly, her posh accent only making it sound nastier.

Slowly, I unclench my jaw and bitterly say, "My parents are dead, thank you very much."

Prudence rolls her eyes, "I pity girls like this, always makin' excuses."

Like I do in every other situation I come across, I tune out the people around and stuff my emotions deep down. The girls see this and ignore me for the rest of the class. Instead, they talk about music. And from what I hear from the bits of their conversation I catch, its good music.

"I still can't believe that we're goin' ta Liverpool. Think of it, we can sneak into the Cavern! I hear that my friend's older sister is friends with someone who's cousin's brother's in this band they say is really gear. They'll be playin' while we're there," one of Prudence's friends squeals.

"Oh, and she said she hears they're real cute," another sighs.

"We _have _ta get in."

I, once again, find myself daydreaming, this time about the Cavern. Now that place knew what music was. And I know it'll never happen, but I still daydream about sneakiing into the club myself. As for the trip to Liverpool, I am going on that, surprisingly. Ms. Kollins is actually letting me go. I thought I'd die of shock when she said yes. I can't wait to see a new city. I haven't been out of London since I got here nearly seven years ago. That's why I don't have an accent. I'm from America and my accent's the only thing that hasn't changed since I got here. The reason I was placed in an orphanage in England is because I was born here, so technically I'm a citizen. I only have just under two years left at the home until I'm free to go.

I spend the rest of the day with Prudence and her girl teases me and taunting me. I pretend to ignore it when their boyfriends call me ugly and a freak after school. I pretend that it doesn't hurt. I pretend that I don't care. I pretend like I'm not slowly dying on the inside as each and everyday passes. I am very good at pretending. To top off Prudence's teasing, failing a rather important test, and getting tripped in the cafeteria by a former friend where everyone was watching, it begins to pour as I make my way back to the orphanage. The rain soaks me in less than seconds.

I hum my favorite song in attempt to feel a little better. It sort of works until the home comes into sight. It looks like a place that should be called a home for unwanted girls. The three story building is made of drab, gray bricks, coated with a layer of grime. The chimney puffs out a rather nasty looking black smoke and the windows are black. The building looks rather worn and depressed itself. Just looking at this building drains the smallest ounce of whatever bit of happiness I have left at the time.

Like always, I just run across the street without looking either way. I mean, I figure if it's your time to go, then it's your time to go. An angry cab driver honks at me as I dart in front of him. All I offer in response is a slight shrug as I jump the last few steps to the curb.

I hear the distant but familiar chimes of the seemingly ancient Big Ben as I stand in front of the door. The faded red paint is peeling away in great strips, which perfectly suits the poor conditions it reveals when opened. The moment I push open the door, I'm attacked. Let's just say that taking a regularly abused girl by surprise is not the wisest thing for one to do. I nearly push the person to the floor in fright until I realize who it is. "Annie, I thought I told not to do that," I breathe in relief as the five year old clings to one of my legs. For some strange reason, all the younger kids look up to me, Annie especially. Children just love me, I suppose. I pat the brunette on the top of her head and pick the tiny girl up. She wraps her arms around my neck and snuggles up to me. "Hows was school?" she wonders.

I shrug, knowing that even if I did bother to admit the truth of my problems to anyone that it would just go right over their heads. And besides, Annie's only five. Right now she's learning her colors, there's no chance she'll ever understand what's been going through my head. "It was okay. What about you, what did you learn today?"

"Whys don't you sound like us?" she questions suddenly, but innocently. I tilt my head in curiosity so she continues, "You sound diff'rent than me an' the other girls. Why?"

"Well, that's because I'm not from here. I lived in America so I'm American. And it's called an accent, honey," I try to explain. The little girl just shrugs and lets me set her down. "Will you tell me a story again tonight?" I can't help but say yes to those big, brown eyes of hers. "I suppose. What'da ya say I come in right at 7:30. I have to go, see you later."

From 4 p.m. to around 7 I sweep and mop all three floors. My arms are aching by the time I've finished the first floor. Once I'm finished with every floor, I collapse onto the nearest chair. The sad part is that I know that I'm nowhere near being done with my chores. I must still make sure all the girls in my room are done with their chores and make sure all the girls' rooms are all cleaned up. After that I will have to cook dinner for Ms. Kollins and then be scolded by her for not having something or other done. She'll probably have some paper work for me to do for her. Before I will be allowed to go to bed, I'll have to be sure that all the girls are in bed. Then I'll lock up and turn the lights out. Only then will I be finished for the night.

Shaking off my bad mood, I head to Annie's room. What story am I possibly going to tell her? I put a fake smile on my face the second I open her door. I wince slightly at the loud creak the door makes when it's opened. I'll have to fix that too before I can sleep tonight.

"You came!" Annie exclaims happily. I ruffle her hair and lift her onto her bed. I wait until she snuggles under her covers before I think of where to begin. "What kind of story would you like, hon?"

I hear her soft giggles before she mumbles, "Love, music. Oh, and ponies." I chuckle, shaking my head, "That's quite the mix, now isn't it? Hmm…" I think for a minute before I begin. "Shall I start with once upon a time?"

The only answer I receive is an enthusiastic nod.

"Alright then. Once upon a time there lived a young girl who longed to be free. The girl had long, curly black hair with eyes as blue as the sea. She was kept under lock and key by her evil aunt, you see. She dreamt of the day when she could roam the world and see its beauties. Well, one day she finally got the chance when she finally escapes. She traveled to a far off city where she met people who loved her for who she was. One day while she was walking, she heard the sweetest sound that she had ever heard. She was drawn to the music as if it were calling out to her. When she found the source of the music, she discovered that it was from a boy her own age. The beautiful music was coming from his guitar. The two began talking and soon became quite good friends. She admired the quiet guitar player because he never failed to be nice to her. He was always there for her, you see, when she needed him most. Soon-"

Annie cuts me off, "Do they fall in love?"

I smile at her, "Hold your horses, I was getting there. Where was I? Oh, yeah. Soon, the girl began to fall in love with the guitar player. But there were two problems that made her love seem hopeless. The first was that the boy didn't believe in love. He thought the idea of it was silly. The second was a problem that she didn't even know of. Her aunt was very angry when she found that her niece had escaped. She did everything she could to get the girl back. On the day that the boy finally realized he her, the girl's aunt found her and dragged her back home before he could tell her. Distraught that he couldn't find his love, the boy vowed he'd never stop looking until he found her. The aunt did everything in her power to keep the two apart. Eventually though, the boy found the girl and at last he was able to tell her that he loved her. The two overpowered her aunt and they ran away and lived happily ever after. The end."

"The ponies?" Annie whispers hopefully.

"How could I forget? Let's see…The two overpowered her aunt and they galloped away on their beautiful ponies and lived happily ever after. There. What do you think?" I finish.

She giggles again. I roll my eyes playfully. I lay down next to her. "Annie, when I leave tomorrow morning, I won't be coming back for about a week. I'll come back, don't worry I just wanted you to know."

The brunette is quiet for a moment, "But you're comin' back?"

"Of course I'll be back. Just not for a while."

"Promise?" she asks, yawning. I get up off her bed and tuck her in better. "I promise," I whisper as I kiss her forehead. I smile when her eyes flutter closed and her breaths become deep and slow.

Not wanting to leave the peaceful room and the calm feeling I've got, I head down the hall and make my way slowly down the stairs. I take a deep breath before I knock on Ms. Kollins's office door.

She is waiting impatiently for me in her office, if you can even call it that. Papers and books are strewn about and scattered and not a thing is ever in any sort of order. She has one large wooden desk in towards the back of the smallish room. Behind the desk is a wall of dirty windows that allow only a dull light to seep in. This faint light casts the room in an eerie glow. There are two separate book cases that line the side walls. There are a few miscellaneous framed pictures of the Eiffel Tower on the wall opposite the one with all the windows. It has the potential to be a rather nice office, but instead, it looks as if someone took piles of paper and threw them up in the air. You can hardly even see the top of the desk or the floor for that matter. Anyway, back to Ms. Kollins.

"Tomorrow morning a rather wealthy couple will be stopping in to look into adopting one of you. Don't know why anybody in their right minds would want you girls though," she mutters the last part. "Anyways, I need this office spotless by eight-o-clock a.m. on the dot. Got it? Good. Now I'm off to shop. Enjoy cleaning my office," she says with one last evil smirk.

I swear to God my eye is literally twitching out of irritation of this woman. At least this time I managed to get away without a new bruise…so far, anyway. I turn back to the room after I hear the lock click behind me. _How lovely,_ I think irritably, _she's locked me in here like some kind of wild animal. _I sigh yet again when I realize I have no idea where to get started. Eventually, I lean over to pick up a stack of papers that appear to have simply been dropped on the floor. Already, I know that this is going to take all night. All that's on my mind tonight is that I still have to pack for my trip to Liverpool tomorrow. Then, to make things more cheerful for me, I dream of what my life might be like once I'm old enough to leave this place. For some strange reason, I feel like something good is going to happen in Liverpool. All I can do is hope because to be honest, my life really needs something good to happen in it, and soon.

I bury my head in my hands when I hear the grandfather clock strike twelve. Groaning, I look up and survey the room. It does actually look more like an office now. There are neatly stacked piles of paper of even heights lined along the front of her desks that I had to sort through and alphabetize. The windows have been scrubbed as clean as they'll come and I've swept and mopped. I even organized the books on her bookshelves just in case. My whole body aches from all the extra work I've done today. A terrific headache clogs my mind. I rub my temples and sit down. At least I've finally finished for the night.

Suddenly, the door is flung open, startling me. I jump to my feet in fright. A very drunken Ms. Kollins stumbles into the small room. I do all I can to not wrinkle my noise as the strong smell of alcohol hits me. The beastly woman advances on me. "Yous call this clean! This room looks worse. Get over here, girl!" she shouts, slurring her words. I stand where I am until she rushes up to me. "Wull!" she shrieks."

"I did exactly what you told me to do, Ms. Kollins," I blurt out.

Her face grows hard and her eyes narrow into slits. "What did yous say?" When I don't answer her she shouts, "Answer me!"

I cower away from her as she slaps me across the face. She hits me so hard that I'm sent tumbling onto the cold floor. "Yous need to learn not to talk back, girlee. Now get out my sight!" she commands using her foot to kick me out of her way. I don't move until I hear the door slam shut behind her. I sigh and struggle to pull myself up. I rub my jaw that is still stinging. I can tell both my cheek and ribs will be sore tomorrow. I do suppose it hadn't been as bad as I was expecting. Honestly, it seems as if she let me off easy tonight. Ms. Kollins probably won't even remember what just happened when she wakes up in the morning.

I use her oak mahogany desk to drag myself to my feet. With shaky steps I make my way up to my room slowly. As quietly as possible, I slip into my room and flop onto my bed, not even bothering with pajamas. The last thing I think of is how much I hope something good will become of this trip. I guess I'll just have to wait and see.


	2. Ticket to Ride

_**DISCLAIMER: umm if i owned the beatles i wouldnt be writing about them on fanfiction would I? i'd be staring at them and drooling, thinking, 'oh my God! I own the freakin' beatles!' (i wish)**_

_Chapter Two_

_Ticket To Ride_

I am woken up the next morning by a very excited Annie jumping up and down on my bed. "Wakey, wakey! Guess what!" she squeals. I rub my eyes, yawn, and roll over, "That's lovely…"

I'm startled awake when she jumps on me and remains on my back. "That doesn' ev'n make sense, silly. There are nice people here that want one of us!" the little girl cries in delight. I nod, "I know, hon, I know. Why did you wake me up so early?" I whine childishly.

"Early? It's 7:45, silly."

"What!" I screech in shock. I'll be late for the trip! I jump out of bed and throw on my uniform and stuff the few clothes I have into my backpack along with my sketch book and a few other items. Annie sits quietly on my bed, watching me curiously as I dart in every direction in my tiny room, frantically. I run my brush through my coppery curls hastily and splash some water in my face. I pull on my shoes as I kiss Annie on the forehead and say goodbye before running down the stairs. As I reach the last set of stairs, I walk calmly down the stairs in hopes of avoiding my daily cussing out from Ms. Kollins. Once I'm past her office, I sprint to the door, nearly running into a fairly young couple on the way. I nod at them, "My apologies."

My rib cage is on fire from sprinting all the way to school after last night. My jaw isn't as sore as I thought it'd be, but then again I think my ribs make up for that lost pain. I am huffing and puffing by the time I make it to school.

As she does every day, Mrs. Parkhurst raises an eyebrow at me as soon as I arrive. She nods before handing me my ticket and telling me to take a seat. The classroom is buzzing with conversation before Mrs. Parkhurst shushes us. "We will be walking to the train station and then you will take a seat on the train. We will gather at…" I tune her out and dream of what it will be like when we get there. I know next to nothing about Liverpool other than it being the home of the Cavern Club. I also can't wait for the free time we are supposed to get. Wonder what I will do…

* * *

"Everyone stay in line. You're not only representing your school, but yourself as well, remember that," Mrs. Parkhurst calls out to us once we reach the station. This is all so new to me. I feel a strange sense of freedom once I set foot on the train. For the first time in five years, I will be finally getting away from here.

Maybe life isn't so mean. It's given me an empty compartment. I like being alone. I never get left alone. I dig in my back and pull out a pencil from the bottom. I place my sketch book on my lap and think for a moment. I put an extra pencil behind my ear like I always do and I think about what I could draw. As I think about it, I gaze out the window. England's plush country side flies by as I think. After a while I settle on drawing a swan breaking free from chains, preparing to take flight. I'm pleased with the way the bird's wings arch back. It really looks as if it's about to fly off the page. I'm nearly finished when the doors to my compartment are ripped open and slammed shut. I jump in fright and my head snaps to the noise. A tall, lanky boy is crouched below the window of the door. I stare at him in surprise, speechless. The dark haired boy holds a finger to his lips, letting me know to be quiet. From out in the aisle I hear a voice yell, "Where is that bloody kid!"

"'Ow the 'ell should I know!"

"He's _your _mate, not mine! You should know where 'e went."

"Damn it, Georgie, where are ye! When I find ye, I'll kill ye!"

"Not 'fore I do, Macca."

Before I know, the doors to my compartment are opened yet again. The two other boys look down and glare at the one that I suppose is 'Georgie'.

"Aww, 'ow'd ye find me?" Georgie pouts playfully. One of the other boys glances at me for a millisecond before ruffling Georgie's dark hair, "It was simple really. See alls we 'ad ta do was see the look of disgust on this bird's face."

"The only thin' people look at with that face is you, Georgie boy," the other boy chuckles. I take in these three. The tall, lanky one has an enormous smile on his face and his brown eyes shine with happiness. The one that ruffled his hair was around his height with the same eyes but more filled out with lighter hair. He had a playful smirk on his babyish face. The last boy is the one that makes me a bit curious. He is a bit shorter than Georgie, but like the other two he has the brown hair. His eyes are so dark that at a quick glance you'd think they are black. He has a smirk on his face but it's much like my own smiles; almost 100% fake. His eyes are cold and distant and I can't help but think that he's had a past somewhat like my own.

When the three stop laughing, one asks, "Where we sittin', boys?"

"I'm not quite sure, we got kicked outta our last box…hey, daya mind if we sat with you, luv?" one asks me.

"Um, sure?"

"Thank ye," another offers.

The one who hid here in the first place sits next to me while the other two sit across from me. The one with the really dark eyes puts his hands behind his head and slides down in his seat. He places his feet on Georgie's lap. "Really, Lennon?" he sighs, chuckling.

The other guy opens one eye in acknowledgement, "Yes, really. Now be quiet, I'm sleeping. Unless you suddenly come up with a better drummer, don't wake me up."

Georgie shoves his feet off of his lap and the other guy just places them next to him. I go back to my drawing until the one next to me holds out a hand to me, "My apologies, the name's George. George Harrison."

I shake his hand and notice it's all calloused. I figure he must play guitar. Before I can introduce myself, the one across from me smiles and says, "Paul McCartney." He points to the one slouched in his seat, "An' this bloody wanker 'ere is John Lennon."

Without opening his eyes, he mutters, "I 'eard that, Macca."

"Ye were supposed ter, John. Anyway, you are?" he rolls his eyes before asking me who I am.

"I'm Sadie. Nice to meet you?" Without it meaning to, the last part comes out as a question. I notice that my words cause John to smirk.

"So where ye 'eaded, luv?" George asks me.

"Liverpool. I'm on a school trip," I offer.

"I kinda figured with the uniform an' all. Is it a girls' school?" Paul wonders.

I nod, "I'm just relieved I don't have to sit with anyone from there."

Paul quirks an eyebrow. I explain, "All the girls in my glass are the same. They're all so fake and just-well, mean."

"You know 'em kinda girls, don' ye, Lennon?" Paul teases. I hold back a giggle when John flips Paul the bird. And don't judge me. I go to an all girls private school and live in a home for 'unwanted girls', remember. I'm never around people like this, or boys for that matter.

"John, I know yer not really sleepin', what daya say we work on the end ta that new song?" Paul suggests while kicking John's leg. He sighs and agrees. "Come 'ead, Georgie Boy, let's go get the guitars," Paul says, jumping up. He smiles at me before the two of them leave.

I add the finishing few lines onto the swan's wings while watching John from the corner of my eye. He looks irritated and angry at something, even with his eyes closed. I sigh and close my eyes for a little while.

"Ha, thought that little ol' lady'd kill us," Paul laughs as he steps in, both him and George holding guitars. George set one on John who finally opened his eyes. "Scared of a little ol' lady, Paulie?"

Paul blushes slightly as John uses that nickname. "Nah, but she was ravin' mad when we's walked back in."

"So which one we workin' on?" George yawns, placing his guitar in his lap.

No one ever answers him, they just begin playing. They're a tad shaky at first but then they got really good. Each chord blends perfectly with one another. And their voices too, they are amazing.

I am speechless by the time their song ends.

"So what' daya think?" George asks in a quiet voice. John smirks, "I think 'er face is 'nough of an answer." I nod, agreeing with him. "You guys are amazing!"

"Why daya sound so surprised, luv?" John chuckles. "Well, no, what I meant was-" Paul cuts me off by saying, "Pay no attention ter him.'E's an arse an' 'e knows it, trust me."

I smile shyly. "Oh. Well, what I meant was that you guys are fantastic. Do you play just for fun, or…" I trail off when I notice John and George staring at me. "What?"

"Are ye American?" John asks. I nod, blushing slightly.

"Then what ye doin' in England?" George blurts, receiving a cuff to the back of his head from Paul. "Sorry," George mumbles sheepishly.

"It's a long story I'd rather not go into," I answer quietly. From the corner of my eye, I see John pause for a second like he is about to say something, but then he just shrugs slightly.

"So you guys are a band then?"

John stands up and offers me a deep bow, "The Quarrymen at yer service, miss." The other two roll their eyes at his dramatics. Soon, they go back to playing their guitars. I focus on my sketch book again. This time I sketch out John and Paul sitting side by side, playing their guitars happily. When I finish Paul, I move on to John. I glance up at his face to get an outline for my drawing and what I see stops me. The harsh lines in his face seem to have melted along with the cold look in his eyes. He looks carefree as he plays and sings along with Paul and George. I figure he's happy when he plays music, the same way I'm happy when I listen to music. My sketch is done before they're done playing.

"So do you boys play anywhere?" I ask curiously.

John smirks, "Just a little pub called The Cavern."

His words take a few second to sink in. "Wait. You three play in the Cavern. As in _the_ Cavern!"

"The one an' only, luv," John chuckles at my expression of shock. "We came out 'ere just fer the 'ell of it. We're from Liverpool, us lot. We got us a gig there timorrer. Ye comin', then, luv?" he teases.

I sigh and run a hand through my curls. "Believe me, you have no idea how much I want to go there. That'd be like a dream come true, but-"

"But what?"

"I'm here on a school trip and I just turned 17. Even if I could get in, I'd never be allowed to go," I explain.

"Yea, wull I'm 16 and Georgie's only15. If we say yer with us, they'd yet ye in," Paul suggests hopefully.

John snorts. Paul turns to him. "Ye got someth'n ter say, Lennon?"

"All she'd 'ave ter do is wear a low cut shirt and a short skirt. That's 'er ticket in, mate," he winks at me and I roll my eyes. So he's _that_ kind of guy. Great.

"Let's go br'n the guitars back, Georgie. Maybe we'll give that ol' lady another heart attack," Paul smiles as he and George jump up and run down the aisle.

I throw my sketch pad next to me and close my eyes for a little while.

"Yer quite the artist there, aren' ye now?" John's voice comments. My eyes fly open when he speaks. John is flipping through my book, slowly. He takes time to look at each drawing. He stops at the one I had done of the orphanage. He looks at me questioningly. I just look down at the floor. He nods slowly and I think he gets it, but 08maybe not. The dark haired musician continues on looking at my pictures. The next time he stops and stares at one is the one of the swan breaking free of the chains with its wings arching back preparing for flight. He traces the lines of the swan with his finger and simply stares at it for quite a while. Slowly he flips the page and sees the one of him and Paul. He smirks and winks at me again. I turn to look out the window again. From the corner of my eyes, I notice John glance at me before flipping back to the swan. I smile happily on the inside.

The two of us jump when the door is slammed opened. Paul and George dive in. George scrambles to shut the door. He and Paul stay low as a rather angry looking woman stalks past the window. My eyes grow wide and I hit the floor along with the two younger boys.

"What, are ye all bloody mad!" John exclaims exasperatedly. He quiets down when the lady pauses outside our door with her back to the window. "That's the mean ol' lady we were mess'n with." Paul smirks at me but it fades when he sees my terrified expression.

"What's wrong with _you_?" John smirks, looking down at me.

"That's my teacher!" I hiss at him. The three faces of the boys fall. Then John smiles wickedly.

Paul freezes, "John, whatever yer think'n, it's not a good idea. Don' do it, mate. Don'."

Completely ignoring Paul's pleas, John gets up, steps right over us, and opens the door. He shuts the door behind him. The three of us get on our knees and peek out the window. We watch as John taps Mrs. Parkhurst on the shoulder. He holds out his hand for her to shake. She takes it after hesitating for a second. When he takes his hand back he starts talking to her. We see him lean closer to her and jerk his thumb over his shoulder in the direction of our compartment. "What's 'e doin', try'n ter get us caught?" George whispers in a nervous voice.

I can't help but laugh when I see John wink at her and say something into her ear. Her pudgy face becomes redder than tomato. She jerks away from John with a look of absolute outrage. She raises her hand and slaps him across the face. She shakes her head and huffs before turning on her heel and nearly running away.

I must look confused because Paul laughs at me, "I told ye 'e's an arse, didn't ye believe me?"

We return to our spots on the benches when John comes in. He's rubbing his face, but he's smiling as if he just did some noble deed. "Wull, she certainly won' be a com'n back ter this car. I believe a thanks is in order, hmm?"

"What on earth didja say ter that poor woman?" Paul chuckles, patting John on the back. George is practically beaming at John so I figure that he must look up to him quite a bit.

"Nuth'n, not a thin'," he says with fake innocence. "Just told 'er 'bout a few things that I thought would help pass time on the train. She just had other ideas, I s'pose." At this, I can see the corners of his mouth twitch upwards. Before long he bursts out laughing. I can't help but join in, only imagining what he must've said to her.

George calls him a pig once he realizes what John means. The 15 year old just shakes his head at John and me who are still laughing. George's face is now bright red. Paul just rolls his eyes at us. I don't even know why I'm still laughing, honestly. Sure it's funny, but I think I'm just laughing because for once I've actually got something to laugh about. I haven't felt this care free in ages. And I like feeling like this; happy.

I lean back against the seat and try to catch my breath. John stops laughing seconds after I freeze, yet again.

"What is it, luv?" he asks, seemingly concerned. I don't answer until Prudence walks by our compartment without seeing me. I breathe out a sigh of relief, "That girl that just walked past was sent from my own personal hell to torment me for the rest of eternity. Sorry."

John cracks a huge smile, "I've gots meself plen'y a those. Pity us."

"And why does that not surprise me?" I mean it to be teasing but it comes across as a rather serious question. George and Paul are having their own conversation so they don't hear ours.

John's smile falls. His black eyes open wider and he just stares at me for a moment as if I just called him out on something.

"John?"

He snaps out of it. "Uh, nuth'n, Nuth'n."

My happy mood dampens when the train lurches to a stop. "No!" I let slip. I blush when all three of them look at me. Paul quirks an eyebrow at me.

"I'm just- I just. Never mind," I glance out the window.

"What's on yer mind?"

"It's just that I haven't been this happy in ages and now I have to go back and I-" I stop myself from rambling on for too long. Paul holds out a hand to me and pulls me up to me feet.

"Then come with us," John says as if it is that easy. "John, I'm here with my school, it's not like I can just walk off this train with you guys and drive away." I tell him.

He leans close to me and whispers, "But ye want ter don' ya."

"But I can't," I try again. Apparently he doesn't like my answer because he shakes his head and looks from Paul to George to back at me. They nod slightly and John smiles devilishly at me. I try to back up but before I get the chance, John snakes his arms around my thin waist and hoists me up over his shoulder. I pound my fists against his back. His grip around me just tightens. "John, put me down. Now!" I attempt to sound serious but I end up giggling.

George walks ahead of us and Paul follows behind John. Paul looks at me with a guilty expression. He mouths, "Sorry." I just send a playful glare his way. People glance at us curiously as John parades down the aisle of this car. "John, for the last time. Put. Me. Down." I demand, still hitting his back.

"Sorry, luv, I'm afraid I can' do that until ya agree ter come with us. That, er ya could kiss me. Ha ha," he laughs. "If I put ye down, you gotta give me a kiss, luv. That fair?"

"You, John Lennon, are a complete ass," I mumble, earning a hearty chuckle from him.

"Sure, now she catches on. Took 'er awhile, now, didn't it Georgie," Paul smiles, stuffing his hands in his trouser pockets. Georgie laughs, "I reck'n so, Paulie."

"Seriously, Lennon. I-"

"Ooo, she's us'n me last name, lads. I think she's serious now. Oh I'm shak'n in me boots, luv," he jokes.

I roll my eyes, "You are such a child. Really, though, I can't have anyone see me with you guys."

"I see 'ow it is, then. Yer able ter ruin our privacy and quiet train ride but ye can' be seen with us. And ye get ter laugh at us and call me an arse but God ferbid ye get spotted with us and ruin yer rep. I'm 'urt, luv. Eh, while yer up there why don' ye pull that dagger outta my back, will ya."

"JOHN LENNON! You put me down right now!" I shout whisper at him. He sighs just as I hear an all too familiar voice gasp in shock.

"Miss. Rigby, what on earth!" Mrs. Parkhurst cries.

John lets me slide down to the floor. He glances at me sheepishly before he smirks. Mrs. Parkhurst recognizes him from earlier. "You," she growls darkly. John points at himself, pretending to be shocked. "Oh, yes, yes. Paulie, Georgie, this is the fine bird I was tell'n ya 'bout. Ya know, my offer still stands," he winks at her. Paul and George fiddle with their guitars, pretending to be oblivious to the awkwardness John brought upon this conversation.

Mrs. Parkhurst gasps again and grabs my arm roughly. It reminds me all too well of Ms. Kollins and I grow nervous out of habit. I try everything I can to wriggle free of her grip and start to panic when I can't get free. The usual feeling of building fear that forms in the pit of my stomach begins to set me on edge. John glances at me and I suppose he must see something in my eyes because he backs off Mrs. Parkhurst. That causes her to relax enough for me to get free. I breathe out a shaky breath and try to rid myself of that awful feeling. I can't pretend that I don't see the strange look John sends my way.

"Come 'ead, Paulie, Georgie. Let's get on," John says slowly. From the looks of surprise on the younger teens faces, I take it he doesn't back down like that too often. John sends me a flick of a hand as a wave goodbye before lazily putting his arms around the others boys shoulders and walking away. I don't know why, but I kind of felt hurt the way they just walked away like that. I shrug the feeling off because I look around to see Mrs. Parkhurst glaring at me.

"What were you doing consorting with…boys like those? What on earth were you thinking?" she demands.

"Well, they were in my compartment and it was a two hour train ride so we talked the whole time. They were just being nice," I explain, waiting for the worst.

"Well, I personally do not like the looks of that one boy. He's a trouble maker and I cannot believe that you would stoop to their level and disgrace yourself like that," she spits haughtily.

I roll my eyes rather rudely at her. "What do you mean by 'their level'? Are they not also people?" I ask, indignant. I hate people who think they are better than others. I cannot stand them.

I think she realizes that arguing with me is hopeless, so instead we get off the train. She and I meet the other two teachers and the other 20 students.

You should see the looks on these girls' faces when they are told they have to carry their own bags to the hotel. I fling my worn gray bag over my shoulder and start walking. Liverpool looks rather a lot like London, I think. I've always loved the look of the 1800s brick buildings. I had quite a number of drawings of them. The hotel isn't all that much but it certainly isn't as bad as some of the other girls make it seem. We are all crowded into the small front lobby and assigned roommates and rooms. I get paired with a girl by the name of Lucy Lyans. I never talk to people in school but I think she's one of the nicer ones in this class.

The loud blond and I gather our bags and begin our journey up the staircase. Since I appreciate the quiet so much, I feel no need to fill it in with pointless chatter, but apparently Lucy does. She asks me my name, birthday, favorite color, favorite book, you name it. Just as we find our room and open it, she asks, "Oh, what's your favorite band?"

And for some reason unbeknownst to me, I answer that question easily, "The Quarrymen."


	3. Boys

_**DISCLAIMER: umm if i owned the beatles i wouldnt be writing about them on fanfiction would I? i'd be staring at them and drooling, thinking, 'oh my God! I own the freakin' beatles!' (i wish)**_

_Chapter Three_

_Boys_

I wake up in the middle of the night to find it to be three-o-clock. After not being able to go back to sleep, I sit up and look around the room. Lucy is sound asleep on the other bed. Quietly, trying not to wake her up, I slide off the bed and grab my sketch book. Without making a noise, I cross the room and step out onto the balcony. I flop rather ungracefully into the chair placed by the railing. I drop my book onto my lap and open it up. Suddenly a little sad, I gaze at the sketch of John and Paul. Sighing, I flip to the next page to start a new drawing to see sloppy hand writing that seems to have been scribbled in haste.

_Find the Cavern and wait at the back door at 10 tomorrow night. You better be there, don't make me waste my time waiting around for you, okay. And it's a club, you know, so wear something that fits the scene. See you at 10._

_**- **__John_

_P.S. Sorry I took your swan, but I liked it so…_

I look back in my book and sure enough that drawing had been ripped out. Honestly, I didn't really mind, not that I'd let John know that. Smirking, I go back to his note. I really want to see those three again, especially if I get to hear them play, and in the Cavern Club no less. It bothers me that I know I can't go. There's no way I can possibly sneak away, especially at night. If I got caught, I'd be dead.

For the rest of the night I attempt to devise a plan that I know I'd never go through with. I've been the subject of some over the top consequences many times before and I have a feeling that sneaking away would be really bad. Especially considering that I would be at a club, underage I might add, with three boys. And it didn't help that my teacher already had taken a strong distaste for those three boys. Honestly, I couldn't really blame her for not liking them though. She has very good reasons not to, especially John. I smile at that thought. So what I come down to isn't all that surprising to me. I'm dying to go, but I'm too scared of the consequences.

"Sadie? Sadie, what are you doin' out here?" a loud voices calls. I jump awake, startled, and end up falling out of the chair. Sitting up, I rub my eyes. "Morning."

"Why were you sleeping outside?" she asks me as she helps pull me to my feet.

"Um, I couldn't fall asleep last night so I came out here to draw but I guess I fell asleep on accident. Sorry," I apologize for my strange behavior sheepishly.

She shrugs and bends over to pick up my sketch pad. Of course it has to be open to the page with John's note. She reads it, and then looks to me expectantly. "Well, you gonna go?"

It takes me a moment to register that she's actually asking me that. I shake my head, "No. I want to but there's no way-"

"Wull if yer not goin', then I am," she giggles, seeing my expression. "What if I help you get away? I'll cover for you."

"Wh-why would you help me?" I can't help but blurt.

Lucy giggles again, "Because, Sadie, I'm all about boys."

For some reason, I believe her statement. She kind of seems the type, but she also seems really nice.

"So what are you wearing?" She thinks for a minute when I stare at her blankly. "Oh, I have the perfect dress!" the blond exclaims suddenly, startling me. She rushes inside and over to her suitcase. I watch in a daze as she throws stuff out of her suitcase in search of something. I'm still shocked that she's actually helping me. "A-ha!" she yells excitedly, tugging something out of her bag. She holds it out to me, proudly. It is a pitch black sleeveless dress with a strip of purple lining the hem and the neckline. It couldn't have more perfect colors for me. "There's no way that I can take that from you, Lucy."

"Yes there is. Would you rather wear your uniform to the Cavern. I think not. Please, wear it for me," she pouts. I smile shyly, "Thank you. I really do like it."

"See. Now we better get down to breakfast before Mrs. Parkhurst comes to drag us down there. We can plan it out over breakkie," the energetic girl smiles, grabs my arm, and pulls me out the door. We run down the hall, laughing. We take a deep breath to calm ourselves down before we enter the dining area. Mrs. Parkhurst gives me the usual eyebrow raise. The two of us get our food, and then find a table in the corner, away from other people.

Using a pen she finds on the table, she writes out her ideas for a plan on a napkin. Without saying a word to me, she jumps up from her seat and walks away. I stare after her, speechless. _Um? What was that? _Is all that goes through my mind right then. I just shrug it off and go back to eating my breakfast. A few minutes pass and Lucy suddenly appears out of nowhere. She's grinning from ear to ear. "Guess who's going to the Cavern tonight!" she squeals. I try to shush her and remind her to keep her voice down. She sits down, "Sorry, sorry. I've got you covered for tonight. There's just one thing."

I quirk an eyebrow and wait for her to continue.

"Well, for the plan to work now, I have to go with you. You don't mind, do you?" she explains.

"Of course I want you to come!" I say, and it's true. I had been kind of nervous thinking that I had to go alone.

Lucy beams, "Okay then. So tonight, as far as anyone from school knows, we are attending a play on the far side of Liverpool. One that happens to be a few blocks from a certain club. I asked Mrs. Parkhurst if ye could go but she said no one is allowed ter go off without someone with them. So I offered ter go with ya. And now ye can go."

Her smile is infectious and soon my smile mirrors her own. "I can't wait!"

"But there's one more thing," she says slowly. "Neither of us are old enough to get in. I'm 16 and you're 17, right? We need to be 18."

"Just trust me, Lucy," I smirk. "That's the part I've got covered."

The morning and afternoon seem to drag on forever, but at least now I've found someone to talk with. Lucy hasn't left one space of silence all day. And I find that I don't really mind. She's crazy but she's a really interesting person. Also, I really like Liverpool. It feels homier than London. The people seem a tad nicer too, well not really, but I feel like I fit in with them more. The only downside, or so I think, is Prudence and her pack of girls. All I hear from them is how Prudence is going to sneak off and go to the Cavern. I smile to myself and think of how she'd never make it past our teachers.

At last, we head back to the hotel to prepare to go out. I slip on Lucy's black and purple dress and she pulls my bangs away from my face with pretty hair clips. She changes into a pale green dress that goes well with her straw colored hair. She puts on heavier eye makeup to make herself look older. She doesn't put nearly as much on me because she thinks I look old enough.

Once we ask for directions to the Cavern from some lady on the street, we are off. We can barely contain our excitement when we spot the glowing red sign that reads The Cavern Club. I lead Lucy to a door in the back of the building. There are a few people milling around the alley. I see a familiar figure standing by the door. I watch for a second as he flicks his cigarette onto the ground and rubs it into the pavement with his shoe. He looks around and spots me. John smirks and walks up to me. "Didn' think ye were comin' fer a minute there. Paulie and Georgie tol' me ter say hi fer 'em. So…Hi, Sadie."

I smile at him. "Well, I wasn't going to come until Lucy here came up with a genius plan. So you should thank her, John."

He nods politely at Lucy who winks at me. Then he turns and holds the door open for us.

Suddenly, I'm kind of nervous. I have absolutely no idea what to expect. The lighting isn't very good and you can feel the vibrations of the bass. People are crammed into every corner of this place. John ushers us over to a table before anyone questions us. Paul's smile grows wider when he sees me. John sits down in the booth next to George and shoves them over. I sit on his other side, leaving Lucy to sit beside Paul. She blushes ever so slightly.

I introduce Lucy to the boys. All they have time for is to ask us how we got away from our teachers before John says, "We've got 'bout 10 minutes, lads. Let's go."

The three of them excuse themselves and get up. Lucy shoots me a confused look. I shake my head. She'll understand soon enough.

In about 15 minutes, there is a break in the music. The current band thanks the crowd and exits the stage to loud cheers and applause. When the next band comes on, the cheers double. Lucy's mouth opens in a small O. Then she smiles. Once they begin their first song, she grabs my hand and pulls me onto the crowded dance floor. She gives me no other choice but to dance with her. I'm skeptical at first, but then I take in my surrounding. I am in the Cavern, a place I've always wanted to go, and I'm with an actual friend. No bad thoughts or fears are plaguing my happy mood, so I give in and join her dancing.

I recognize a few of their songs that I heard on the train. Most of them are upbeat, catchy love songs. They play for quite awhile. I know that they are good guitar players, I learned that when I first met them, but they sound amazing live with the rest of their band. Paul and John do most of the main vocals while Georgie sings most of the backup.

"These guys are real gear!" Lucy shouts over the fast paced rock and roll. I nod, knowing she most likely can't hear me anyway. She continues dancing and I don't think she plans on stopping anytime soon. The boys look like they are having the time of their lives up on the stage. And honestly, so am I. For the first time in far too long, I let myself have so much fun that nearly all other thoughts in my head besides Lucy and the boys disappear. For the first time since I was ten, I think I may actually be with real friends.

Lucy nudges me with her elbow to get my attention. She wags her eyebrows at me because she had so much trouble getting me to tear my gaze away from John. I shake my head and start to explain, but she simply throws her head back and laughs. The petite blond won't let me explain that, yes I had been staring at him, but it's not because I like him, at least not like that, but because I don't understand him. He seemed so angry, yet there he is on stage, smiling, laughing, and looking just plain carefree with his best mates. How can these two personalities belong to the same person?

The applause and cheers are deafening when they finish with mock bows. Lucy and I rush over to the edge of the stage-well, at least we try to. We have to push past people and that is no easy feat in the Cavern. I catch Paul's eye and he points to the door where John let us in and nods. Lucy takes my hand as I lead her through the sea of people. The cool night air of Liverpool greets us as we open the heavy metal door and step outside. Lucy's still dancing, though she has toned down her moves a bit. I laugh at her and give her a hug which she happily returns. I shiver a little because the one thing I hadn't thought to bring is a jacket.

I clap when the three boys join us, "Bravo, bravo!" George and Paul smile while John lights his cigarette with an expressionless face. "No, really," I continue earnestly, "You don't have the slightest clue of how amazing that was to me. I actually saw a live band perform in the Cavern Club!" I can't resist saying it. A smirk appears on John's face and he winks, "Not just any band. Ye saw the Quarrymen play. An' ye'll remember that when we're world famous, luv."

"Yea, and that'll be the day I become Queen of England. We'll never be famous playin' 'ere," George teases.

John quirks an eyebrow, "A queen, eh? Tryin' ter tell us somethin', Georgie-Boy?"

The poor boy's face grows redder than a tomato once he realizes what John means. Lucy and I are blushing slightly and trying to stifle our laughter.

"I'm not sayin' anythin' like that!" George denies embarrassedly.

"That's just what ye want us ter think, Georgie," John laughs, clapping him on the shoulder. We can't hold our laughter any longer once Georgie cries, "Christ, Lennon! I'm not a bloody poof!" At that, we all start cracking up. The scrawny boy simply shakes his head and tells John he hates him rather colorfully.

"So if you're going to be famous then I guess you'll have to give us a story that we can someday use against you to get a lot of money. How 'bout it?" I smile sweetly.

"'Aven't we already, luv?" Paul smiles.

Lucy cuts me off by exclaiming, "Well my life's complete now. I've been to the Cavern, am hangin' with boys without permission and after dark, and even had a beer! I don't think I could do anything else my parents have forbid me ter do. Tonight 'as been amazing!" From what I've learned about Lucy so far is that her parents are rich, uptight, and quite conservative. Lucy's…well-not. I also think that she's just the kind of friend I need. John leans close to the blond and says slyly, "There is another thin' ter do yet, luv." Seeing Lucy's expectant look he continues, "Ye could always get knocked up. I'm sure Paulie 'ere would luv ter do the favors."

Lucy tries to hide her blush by looking appalled. "What kind of girl do ye think I am?"

"The rebellious kind," George pipes up, clearly not wanting to give John the chance to answer that question.

"Yea I am, but I'm not stupid!"

John shrugs and shakes his head at Paul, "I tried mate, I tried."

Now it's Paul turn to look appalled. Actually, he looks rather traumatized. He sees Lucy's peeved expression and shakes his head rapidly, obviously at a loss for words.

"Lennon, why do ye 'ave a need ter mess with people so much. Jesus, just shut yer mouth, will ya?" George snaps when he sees John smirking at his work.

I smile at the sights before me. The eccentric Lucy is now blushing and giggling at a flirting Paul. They obviously got over what just happened awful quickly. John's got Georgie in a headlock trying to make him say uncle with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. I'm smiling because I think I may now actually have friends.

"John, leave the poor kid alone," I scold, though I'm sure I won't be taken seriously considering I'm laughing. The dark eyed guitarist eyes me for a moment before he releases George. Glaring at the two of us, George mutters something along the lines of, "I'm not a bloody kid, ye know." John ruffles his hair causing him to blush yet again. Smiling, I tease him before John can, "You seem to blush an awful lot, don't you?" As planned, the 15 year-old blushes an even deeper shade of red. John nods at me approvingly, that smirk never leaving his face. For some reason, I feel as if I have accomplished something important because he approved of something I did. I soon shake the thought off when Lucy suddenly gasps. The four of us turn to look at her. "What is it?" I ask just in time to hear the clock tower in the distance strike one. "Oh no! We are in so much trouble! We have to go." I say the last words sadly.

John seems confused. "But it's only one. The party's not yet begun, luv!" he smirks playfully.

"Wull if we ever want to have fun again we have to get back to the hotel!" Lucy exclaims dramatically on the verge of panic.

"Ye 'ave ter go already?" Paul asks disappointedly. We nod and rush our thank yous to them.

"So when'll ye come back?" George asks suddenly. Behind him, Paul nods and waits for our answers. "We're ditchin' Tuesday. We'll be at Princes Park if ye care ter join."

I am slightly taken aback that they want to see us again. I find myself sneaking a glance at John to see his expression. He catches my eye and winks. "Of course I will."

Lucy grabs my arm, "Sadie!" George and Paul beam and walk Lucy down the alley and out to the street. John and I follow them in silence until we reach the sidewalk. Even though we are quite a few feet from the other three, I lower my voice to a whisper. "You know, next time you want a drawing, all you have to do is ask." With that, I leave him staring after me with a wide smirk on his face. Lucy and I link arms and begin our journey back to the hotel.

"Girls! Where on earth have you been! It's one in the morning!" Ms. Parkhurst cries the instant we set foot in the lobby of the simple hotel. She quits her pacing and instead stalks over to us. Her index finger is waving at me, dangerously close to my nose. A cool, collected mask slips onto my face, but on the inside I'm like a deer in the headlights; absolutely frozen with fear. It doesn't matter anyway, though, because, once again, Lucy comes to my rescue.

"We're terribly sorry, Ms. Parkhurst. You see, the show let out later than we had originally thought. Then we had the most horrendous time getting back here. First, we got lost while we were walkin' and we got nervous bein' it night ana all. Next we got a cab, but then it got lost as well. Thought we'd never make it back, ma'am. Well, best be off ter bed. Got an early morning, you know?" Lucy explains what happened so sincerely that I almost believe it myself. Maybe her dreams of being an actress aren't as far-fetched as she thinks.

The large boned woman nods gruffly and folds her arms across her chest to show that she's not happy with us. We smile as innocently as we possibly can as we slide past her. Once we reach the stair case, we make a break for it and sprint up to our room. Once inside, we can't help but laugh hysterically.

"Tonight was amazing!" Lucy sighs dreamily, flopping onto her bed. Her smile holds a hint of sadness because she knows the night's over.

"Couldn't agree more, Lucy. And I saw you flirting with Paul," I wink knowingly. Her face heats up and she denies it a touch too strongly. When I tell her this, she whacks me in the face with a pillow. Knowing that it's kind of deserved, I laugh and lie back on the bed. I bury my face into my pillow like I always do right before I fall asleep.

"Lucy?"

"Yea?"

"I don't know about you, but I'm going to Princes Park on Tuesday."

"Already have a plan fer ye," she replies.

"Lucy? I think you're my best friend."

"Mmmkay," she mumbles sleepily.


	4. Because

_**DISCLAIMER: umm if i owned the beatles i wouldnt be writing about them on fanfiction would I? i'd be staring at them and drooling, thinking, 'oh my God! I own the freakin' beatles!' (i wish)**_

_Chapter Four_

_Because_

I try very hard to just roll over and go back to sleep when Lucy shakes me awake. I swat blindly at her hands. "Go away," I groan. "Come back and don't wake me up later."

"Sadie, I already let you sleep till 7:30. Ye only have ten minutes before we leave," Lucy explains. I jump out of the bed, "Why didn't you wake me up!" I shriek tearing across the room in search of my suitcase.

"Relax, it's only six. An' yer suitcase is right behind ye," Lucy says absently as she files her nearly perfect nails. Slowly, I turn on her. "You mean that it's only six?" She nods, smirking, "See what I did there?"

I run at her and chase her around the room, yelling at her the entire time. "Don't do that! Ever!"

She falls to the floor laughing. "You should've seen your face, though. It was great!"

Rolling my eyes, I find a pair of jeans and a blue shirt to change into. I come out of the bathroom to see Lucy smiling at me with fake innocence. I eye her suspiciously. "Why are you smiling at me like that?"

"It's the 23rd."

"Okaaaay. And that means…"

"The 23rd is a Tuesday."

"Just tell-it's Tuesday?" I say in shock. How could I have forgotten about Tuesday? "Are we really going!"

She looks at the floor sadly. "Well, you are."

My smile fades, "What about you? I thought we were going together."

"Why would they want me there? They met you and wanted you to go to the Cavern. You just happened to bring me. I don't think I should go," she sighs wistfully.

I sit beside her and give her a warm hug. "You're coming whether you like it or not. I have a feeling that Paul and Georgie would be rather upset if ye didn't show, Lucy. Besides, I'm making you go even if they won't be."

A smile returns to her face and she hugs me back. "Let's go get breakfast. Our plan is ago in an hour."

The two of us walk down to the dining hall with a spring to our steps. My nerves are on edge because it's finally sinking in that I get to see the boys again. Lucy and I jump in line behind Prudence and her horde of fake, stuck up girls. I ignore their completely idiotic conversation about how much they love Prudence's new skirt and nudge Lucy with my elbow. She looks up at me.

"So, excited about seeing Paul later?" I tease in a hushed voice.

"That depends. You excited about seein' John later?" she retorts to hide her embarrassment.

"Guess I kind of opened myself up for that one. And for the record, I don't like him like that." I tap my chin in thought before I decide to get pancakes instead of waffles. I drown them in syrup and grab a fork while I wait for Lucy to catch up. We sit by ourselves in a two person booth of to the side.

"Oh don't give me that, now. I saw you lookin' at him the whole time they were playin'. Don't lie to me, Sadie."

"I'm not lying to you, Luce. He's just a friend, if that even. We just sorta talked on the train."

"Ooo. What about?"

"Nothing really important. Just about music and my art, I guess."

"Well that's kinda borin'."

"Then he told me to ditch the school trip to come hang out with them. When I said no, he picked me up and carried me over his shoulder down the aisle of the train. Then we ran into Ms. Parkhurst. I thought she was going to burst when she saw me. Nearly killed me right there and then," I laugh recalling the look on her face.

Lucy looks at me with awe. "I wish we were friends then. I got stuck with Jennifer and Molly the whole ride. The whole time all they talked about how much they love this science thing and that science thing. Bored me to death, they nearly did!"

Shrugging, I explain that I was only alone because I didn't have friends to sit with. That and I like being alone. I cut my pancakes and take a bite.

"I can't believe they're just skipping school like that though. I would never be able to do that," Lucy blabbers on nervously. She pushes her food around her plate without really eating it.

"Luce, we're with our school in another city and we're ditching out on it today."

"Yea, I guess. But today is a free day where we can do whatever."

"You're really nervous, aren't you?"

Without saying anything, she nods furiously. I smile softly. "Don't be. You'll have fun. If not, you can just leave and do something else, I guess. Just calm down, alright?" I find it kind of odd that she's so nervous about this. Last time I was the one being dragged along. This girl seems like the outgoing type so I guess I'm just confused as to why she appears like she's about to get sick.

Ms. Parkhurst gets everyone's attention. "As you know by now, we've changed your free day from tomorrow to today. If any of you do anything that will make me regret my decision to let you go off by yourselves, then you might as well not come back if you value your life. Am I understood?"

Several voices mumble back a weak, "Yes, Ms. Parkhurst."

"Alright, now you're free to go. Just remember to be back by five-o-clock!" Ms. Parkhurst can barely be heard over the excited chatter of the teen girls rushing out of the dining hall.

Once we reach the sidewalk, we stop to think. "Okay, do you have any idea where this park is?" I ask Lucy hopefully.

She shakes her head, "No, I don't. Not exactly anyway. George told me you can't miss it but I suppose you'd have to find it first."

Just as Lucy runs off to ask for directions to the park, Prudence and the other girls saunter over. "What are you doing, Sadie?"

"Why do you care?"

"I don't."

"So why are you still standing here, then?" I quirk an eyebrow at her when Lucy comes bustling over. "I know where it is now, Sadie!" she exclaims excitedly. Her enthusiasm quickly fades when she sees Prudence.

"Where's what?"

"Nothing." In attempt to keep this horrible girl from finding out our plans, I distract her by asking, "So have you made it to the Cavern yet?"

"No," the slender girl says rather shortly. "But I'm goin' tonight. Why do you care?"

"I don't. Lucy, let's get outta here!" We turn on our heels and run away from them. As soon as we are out of sight from the hotel, we link arms and walk the rest of the way to the park. George was right, you can't miss it. The solid stone pillars and wrought iron fence gateway is quite hard to miss. The trees are painted in amazing shades of reds and oranges and yellows. I kick at the leaves that have found their way to the ground and gaze around in awe. Beautiful birds swoop in and out of the trees, each singing their own special song. There is a lone fisherman out in his boat on the still waters of the lake. I run my fingers through my curly copper hair and sigh. It's such a peaceful place. Or, at least it is until I hear someone shout, "I'M GOIN' TER FUCKIN' KILL YE, JOHN! I SWEAR TER GOD I'LL DO IT!"

"It was Paul, I swear to it!"

Lucy and I exchange a worried look just as we see John appear from a line of trees. He spots me and hides behind me until a very soaked Georgie come bursting through the tree line. He simply points behind me at John and through clenched teeth he growls, "You."

"Who? Me?" John asks in a high pitched girly voice.

"You, John Lennon, are gonna die."

"Oh don' be so dramatic, Georgie."

"Ye pushed me inter the lake fer Christ's sake, John! In front of Mae."

Slowly, hoping he doesn't notice, I inch to the side to try to get out from in front of him. I don't want Georgie to kill me to get through to John. I think he'd do it, too. Unfortunately though, John notices my movement and follows it. "Look, um, I hadn't exactly planned on being a human shield for today, so I'm gonna just-"

"'E's only playin', luv. 'E won't really kill me," John whispers into my ear.

"Yes I will."

"Children these days, so violent, they are," John sighs right beside my ear.

Suddenly, an out of breath Paul shows up. He places his hand on his knees and gasps for air. "Looks like someone's outta shape," John taunts from behind me. I tell him to shut up. "You've already got George ready to kill you. Why are you trying to start something else?" He actually seems to be trying to think of an answer, but Paul then interrupts, wanting to know what is going on.

"Um I'm pretty sure George wants to kill John and I guess I am his human shield. That's about it. I haven't figured the rest out."

"I tell ye what 'appened. I told 'im I fancied Mae and he tripped me, makin' me fall inter the lake when she wuz lookin' at me!" George cries furiously. That actually doesn't surprise me when I think about it.

"Aw, but we 'ad a good laugh, Georgie."

"Yea, you and Mae. She'll never take me seriously." My heart goes out to him because he sounds so defeated. Behind me, John is trying to stifle his laughter. Casually, I jabbed him in the stomach with my elbow.

"'Ey, what wuz that for?" He sounds surprised.

"You're being mean. I don't like mean people," I answer easily.

"Wull maybe I don' like nice people." My plan is successful because while the smirking guitarist is distracted by me, George gets his chance to sneak up on John. Without warning, George jumps on John's back and the two go tumbling to the ground. Paul rolls his eyes at their childish play fight while Lucy and I watch curiously. By the time they're done with their little fight, the two are laughing so hard they are clutching their sides and gasping for air. I shoot Lucy a look that says, "And they say girls are complicated."

John is off the ground first and holds his hand out to George. He takes it warily, but takes it all the same. Dusting himself off, John smirks slyly, "So I see ye couldn' stay away, then. Gonna take Paulie up on his offer."

Paul smacks John's arm. "Ye mean _yer_ offer, Lennon."

"Not like ye'd be complainin' if she wanted ter, though," John taunts. Paul blushes a light pink when he makes the mistake of glancing at a now stricken Lucy. Poor girl. I know she had been hoping that this specific conversation would be left unmentioned today. Guess not.

"Anyway…So what are we gonna do?" George leads our conversation to a bit more comfortable topic. John brushes his fingertips across my cheek, smirks, and suggestively says, "More like who."

I slap his hand away, blushing slightly. "John, leave the poor birds alone, will ya?" John huffs and listens to Paul's words, stepping away from me.

"We could go to the pictures?" Lucy offers hopefully.

"There's nothing good playin' terday. Why not a record shop? Good music's always, well, good." I know Lucy wants to see a movie because her parents always tell her she can't, but her face lights up at Paul's suggestion anyway. The rest of us agree and before I know it, we're inside a small record shop. Paul, George, and Lucy immediately run off to the back of the store, leaving me alone with John. I flip through some records but don't really see anything of interest. I watch John from the corner of my eye. The boy smoothes back his hair brown hair. "So what do you listen to?"

He jumps a little like he forgot I'm right next to him. "Oh, uh, Elvis, Buddy Holly. You?"

I guess I probably shouldn't have asked that particular question. "Um…I don't."

He looks at me like I've got three heads. "Yer tellin' me that ye don't listen ter music? Why?"

"Well it's not like I don't want to. I just don't have a way to listen to it usually, you know?" I make it seem like it's no big deal but the truth is I hate not being able to listen to music. I love it.

"Wull that's kinda sad, luv," he smirks. That's true so I agree with him.

"Do you want to be here or did they make you come?" I question out of the blue. I don't know who is more surprised by it, me or him.

"I don' know, honestly. What do ye say we ditch 'em an' go 'ave some fun."

"I would."

"But…"

"Lucy would kill me. And while most people don't, I do happen to value my life. So, sorry." I mentally slap myself for saying something like that. I can tell he's thinking about my choice of words. Paul saves me from any question that might come my way by running up to us. "We gotta go. Now."

"Why?"

"Uhh…" The doe eyed boy never finishes because Lucy sprints past him with a worker hot on her tail screaming for her to stop. George is running right beside her with a couple 45's tucked into the front of his pants.

"Jesus Christ Georgie," John mutters under his breath before leading us outside. "Why the bloody 'ell would 'e do that?"

"What? Steal?"

John sighs as if he's dealing with small children, "No. Get caught."

We have to lengthen our pace to keep up with John who is now storming down the sidewalk. His shoulders are tensed up and his hands are in tight fists. I glance at Paul and from his face I can tell this isn't a good sign. It doesn't shock me at all that a person like John has a nasty temper.

Paul puts a hand on John's shoulder once we catch up to him. "Look, 'e's just a kid tryin' ter impress a bird. I do believe ye know what that's like, mate."

John glares at him but relaxes. Then he focuses on me, "Tol' ye we shoulda ditched 'em."

Smiling, I roll my eyes and see George and Lucy walk around the corner a few blocks away. "There they are."

John follows my gaze and starts after them. We meet up with them and Lucy immediately stops laughing when she sees my expression. George stops as well when he sees John. I grab Lucy's arm at the same time John grabs George's. I pull her away from the boys. I shout whisper at her, not caring that she looks fearful for her life. "What the hell do you think you're doing! What if you had gotten caught? Do you have any idea how much trouble we'd be in?"

From her face I can tell that she hadn't quite thought that far ahead. "If you're going to do stuff like that then we're going back to the hotel. Okay? If you ever do that again, I will kill you. Clear?"

She nods furiously with a ceaseless flow of apologies streaming out of her mouth. I slap a hand over her mouth to get her to shut up. She and I return to the boys to find John missing. Before I can ask where he went, the other two shrug and say he just walked away. I'll admit that I'm kind of disappointed.

The four of us continue on to a small diner just around the corner. I just get a Coke but it seems as if Paul and George order half the menu. For the next two hours, all we do is eat and eat, and eat.

I lean back against the chair and groan. "So full…"

Georgie looks like he's about to be sick, as does Lucy. Paul, well Paul's still eating. "Stop eating already. You're going to make me sick," Lucy scolds, rubbing her stomach. "Ugh, I feel awful."

Hoping we eventually won't feel so stuffed, we talk for an hour or so. Paul and Lucy are deep in conversation while I talk with Georgie. Well, more like tease him. "So who's this Mae?"

"No one," he rushes. I tilt my head at him. "Okay. She's this bird in me class. She's gorgeous but she'll never like me. 'Specially not after John tripped me into the lake."

"Why would you give up so easily? You don' know what she thinks about you. Maybe she doesn't care that he pushed you in the lake. I know that wouldn't make me not like someone. You should ask her out sometime." His spirits rise at my words of encouragement. I think he might actually ask her. I'm proven right when he excuses himself from the table. I watch him run down the sidewalk as soon as he gets outside. Knowing that they won't even notice I'm gone, I leave Paul and Lucy at the table.

The bell on the door jingles as I push it open. I have no idea where to go from here. Without really thinking about it, I head down the sidewalk. I tuck my hands in my pockets and look down at the sidewalk. I don't have the slightest clue of where I'm going, but I needed time alone.

Somehow I find myself back in Princes Park. There are several benches littering the paths so I take one. I put my feet up on the bench and hug my knees to my chest. Not a thought crosses my usually overactive mind while I gaze out onto the calm waters of the lake. I've always felt I am like a lake. They're calm on the surface, but you never know what's going on beneath that thin layer. Wow, that's kind of pathetic, maybe I should think about other things.

I haven't been able to remain so undisturbed for so long in ages. I can feel the stress of my life back in London start to fade away. All my peace is ruined due to a voice that's beginning to grow familiar. "Didja get lost er somethin'?" he chuckles.

"No. Well maybe. I wasn't really going anywhere, I just started walking and I ended up here. And you? Where'd you disappear to?"

"Places," he answers vaguely. "Oh, places. I've always wanted to go there," I say sarcastically. This receives a smirk from him. "Why did you just walk away like that?" I wonder.

"Because. Why? Didja miss me?" he teases, livening up. Pretending to think about it for a moment, I shake my head, "Nope, not at all." He sits beside me and gazes out at the lake like I had been doing only moments ago. Not expecting a real response, I am kind of surprised when he answers with a more serious attitude, "I do that, I guess."

"So do I. No one cares though. It's not like anyone stays with me long enough to notice it." I mentally slap myself yet again. It's worrying me how much I've been doing that lately.

John eyes me curiously. I prepare myself for the difficult questions that I'm positive are coming. Now I've spent the whole day telling myself that none of John's actions surprise me, but his next one does. All he does is simply offer to help me find my way back to the hotel. I accept gratefully. He stands up and holds out a hand to me. I grab it and butterflies begin fluttering around in my stomach. He doesn't let go of it until I'm on my feet.

He walks beside me in complete silence. I think he's a lot like me in more ways than one. To be honest, this is probably the highlight of my day. Though, in Paulie's words, John's an ass, he's really growing on me. I think he may just be misunderstood, though he is still an ass I must say.

"Do ye like London?" John wonders suddenly.

"Not one bit."

"Care ter explain?"

"I'd rather not."

To my relief, he accepts my answer with an understanding nod. "Do you ditch a lot?"

He smiles at this. "No. Paul and Georgie are ditchin'. I got suspended."

"For?"

"Told a teacher ter fuck off. Apparently he didn' appreciate it."

"Yea, I'd imagine he wouldn't. Why did you say that?"

Shrugging, he simply says, "Because. Oh don' give me that look. The bastard 'ad it comin'. Called me a nuisance to society. Then he told me I'd end up in jail someday and when that day came he'd visit me to laugh in me face. I didn' really find that necessary." Hearing that side of the story makes me feel like he did sort of have a right to tell him off. After that, we return to walking along in silence, not that I have a problem with that, of course.

"Tomorrow. What are ye doin' termorrow?"

I think about it for a moment. "I think we're going to some museum and then some kind of play, I guess. I think it's optional, maybe, I don't really know."

"What time do you leave in the mornings?"

"Um, usually around eight, why?"

"Damn. Why do ye get up so early?" he sounds disgusted by the early hour.

"I know. If I had it my way, I'd stay up all night and sleep all day." I've never admitted that to anyone. It's true. I am definitely a night person.

"That's pretty much my life. Just throw in a few jam sessions and occasionally school," he smirks and comes to a halt.

I realize he stopped because we reached the street that my hotel is on. I'm grateful he knows enough to not go in sight of it in case of Ms. Parkhurst. "I had fun today. I think. So thanks."

"Yer thanking me because ye _think_ ye 'ad fun?"

"Yes. I never get to do anything fun. So thank you, I guess." I really am thankful.

"Why are ye thankin' me fer 'avin' fun?" he asks, slightly confused.

"Because," I answer as simply as he did. He smirks at my use of his usual explanation for his actions. I realize I don't really want to leave when I hear Lucy's high voice call my name. I twist my head to see her standing outside the hotel waving frantically at me. Slowly, I turn back to John. The thought that I might not see him again leaves me kind of down. I say good-bye at the same time he does. Though I really don't want to, I turn my back on him and walk away.

"Why did you just leave me!" Lucy exclaims animatedly using her hands a lot. The blue eyed blond looks at me expecting an answer.

"I'm sorry. I just do that. I didn't really think you'd notice I left. I just walked back to the park to be alone and I ran into John. He helped me find my way back here. So did you and Paulie have fun?" I ask teasingly to try to distract her anger at me.

She holds up a hand to my face and starts walking away. "I don't want to talk to you."

"Did you two hold hands? Kiss? Fall in love?" I ask in a dreamy voice chasing after her. "Did you gaze into each other's eyes?"

"Shut it, Sadie!" By now her face is as red as the telephone booth she just past. I snicker childishly receiving a frustrated sigh from her.

"So what did you two losers do today?" Prudence's grating voice sneers.

"None of your Goddamn business." I can't keep the smile on my face. I have a feeling if I spent more time with John that my vocabulary would continue to increase. Prudence gasps in horror that I said something like that to her. And I really don't care. I am not going to let her ruin my finally calm, happy mood.

Lucy follows after me in awe. I fling open the doors and march up to our room. Lucy hugs me all the way up the stairs and down the hall because I told Prudence off like that. I have to pry her off rather roughly. "I thought you didn't like me right now."

"I don', but that was amazing."

"Oh just go to sleep."

"Yes mum."

"Shut it, shorty."

"You did not just call me a shorty," she huffs incredulously, her expression growing scarily dark.

I lean in close to her face and whisper, "Midget."

"I'm gonna kill you!" she cries, running at me. I manage to get away from her. I laugh and flop onto the bed. She backs up to her bed without taking her eyes of off me. She stares me down until i innocently bid her a good night. Shaking her head in disapproval, she crawls under her covers. Without even bothering to change out of my street clothes, I bury my face into my pillow and fall asleep instantly, dreaming of a certain, mysterious guitarist (and don't be judgey. you can't deny that you wouldn't do the same).


	5. Here Comes the Sun

_**DISCLAIMER: umm if i owned the beatles i wouldnt be writing about them on fanfiction would I? i'd be staring at them and drooling, thinking, 'oh my God! I own the freakin' beatles!' (i wish)**_

_Chapter Five_

_Here Comes The Sun_

"Hiiiiiii-yaaaaaaaah!" a voice screams just as a heavy weight comes crashing down on me. I yell in fright, bolting awake. I scramble blindly away from whatever made the noise. "GOOD MORNIN'!"

My heart continues to race even though I realize that it was Lucy that decided jumping on me was a good way to wake me up. "What the hell was that for!" At this early in the morning, the only thing I can think to do to hide my shock is to shout. Apparently she isn't scared by the anger in my voice considering she's literally rolling on the ground with laughter. I start to think maybe I should try to wake up before her from now on. I honestly am currently plotting ways to kill her when I look out the window. The dark night sky taunts me. I hear the clock tower strike one in the morning.

Collapsing back onto the bed, I mutter dangerously. "You better sleep with one eye open tonight or you might not wake up the next time it's actually morning." I shake my head at the still laughing girl. "You called me a midget, this was my revenge, now we're even," she tries to tell me confidently, but I can see that she's nervous about my threat. "Oh no, we aren't even at all," I mutter ominously, knowing it would scare her. I don't really intend on carrying out my threat, but my words make her blue eyes grow wide with worry. Mission accomplished. She warily returns to her bed. It's awhile before I can fall back asleep. My loveable but annoying friend is claimed by sleep long before I am. I'm jealous of the way she can fall asleep instantly. If I could do that, then I would have that much less time to alone with my thoughts.

Though it's not surprising, it still bothers me that I never do get back to sleep. I finally give up around four. Careful not to wake my roommate, I tiptoe across the floor and ease the sliding door open. I glance over my shoulder to make sure that I didn't wake her up. The chair creaks quietly under my weight. The cool air sends shivers crawling up my arms. I rub them to try to warm myself up. To no avail, I give up the rubbing. I prop my feet up on the railing and cross my arms over my stomach.

With my mind in some far off world, I stay in that position for hours. It amazes me that I can sit so still for so long doing absolutely nothing. I watch teh sky grow lighter every minute, though still remaining various shades of gray. People eventually begin appearing in the streets, on their way to who knows where. A voice startles me out of my reverie. I stand up and lean over the railing to find the owner of the rather familiar voice.

A smirking John greets me with an enthusiastic wave. I'm speechless for a second. "John?" I call quite stupidly. Of course I know it's him.

"Come down."

"I can't."

"Then I don't s'pose ye'd wanna come with me, then."

My heartbeat steps up its pace a little bit. He actually wants to spend the day with me? Without thinking about what I might be getting myself into, I answer with a yes. This earns a smile from him and he motions for me to come down. I peek back in on Lucy who is still sleeping. I bite my lip before I say, "Meet me behind the hotel in about half an hour or so. I have to get out first." I see him think for a moment and then nod.

I bound back into the room. Seeing Lucy's sleeping form curled up under the covers reminds me of my need for revenge. In the bathroom, I find a cup and fill it with ice cold water. Silently, I sneak over to the corner of her bed. I'm sure the smile on my face looks devilish as I throw the water on her peaceful looking face. She sits up gasping and I dive under the covers off my own bed. "Sadie!" she whines. I snicker from under the covers. I roll onto my back and manage to groan convincingly. "What's wrong with you? I'm the one who got water thrown in my face," she snaps, sounding rather annoyed. _Good, _I think.

Moaning, I complain, "I never got back to sleep after you woke me up. I feel terrible. I can't breathe through my nose and it feels like there's a marching band playing in my head." I'm even impressed with my voice. It really sounds like I have a cold.

"Should I go get Ms. Parkhurst then?" she asks in a worried voice. I feel somewhat bad about lying, but I really want to go with John so I nod.

"I'll go get her, then."

A few minutes later Ms. Parkhurst comes back with Lucy. She feels my forehead which actually is warmer than usual. I know my face is definitely flushed, not from being sick, but because somewhere outside John is waiting for me. She tsks at me but gives me the option to stay at the hotel.

"I hate to miss a day but I'm really feeling under the weather. I can only hope I'll get better while you're out and about." I feel my mission is complete because I receive a look of sympathy from my strict teacher. Ms. Parkhurst wishes for me to get well. She leaves the room and I wait until Lucy follows after.

Once they are gone, I hop out of my bed and throw on my jeans and find a girly shirt in Lucy's suitcase. Don't worry, I'm no thief. Lucy told me anytime I needed to borrow something I could just take it. I button the baby blue blouse and run my brush through my hair. Taking a deep breath, I pause for a second and then run down the hall. Fortunately, I run into no one from school. They must've already left.

A very nice maid points me in the right direction toward the back door. I take a few wrong turns but soon enough I find it. I push open the door and run right into someone. The two of us go crashing to the pavement. "Sorry, sorry, sorry!" The person I crashed into chuckles at my rushed apologies. It's John of course. I push myself onto my knees and then get to my feet. John jumps to his feet, brushing himself off.

"Well, off we go then."

"Where are we going?"

"To the beach. I thought it'd be somethin' fun ter do. Besides, I can' really go 'ome," he explains, beginning to walk down the street.

"What do you mean?"

"I may not 'ave actually tol' my aunt that I wuz suspended." He admits. I can tell he's waiting for some question about why he lives with his aunt but I don't ask it. If I don't ask him those kinds of questions, I won't have to answer any myself.

"So do ye like ter 'ave fun?" he asks as we near a bus stop. "Yes?" My response ends up coming out like a question. Smirking he holds out a hand to me. I raise an eyebrow at it. "What…"

John doesn't wait any longer and climbs up the bus shelter. He lies across the top of it and holds out a hand to me. "You want me to go up there?"

"If yer this scared ter come up 'ere, then how're ye gonna ride the bus?"

"Um, I'm pretty sure that this is so we can stand _under_ it, not on top of it."

"Just get up 'ere, luv," he sighs. Grudgingly, I climb up there beside him. "What are we doing?"

"Catching the bus." The typical double decker pulls up to the stop. I'm still confused as to what he thinks we're going to do. My heart plummets to my stomach when I see him use an open bus window as a step to propel himself onto the roof of the bus. "No way! Not a chance!"

"Hurry up!" John frantically waves his hand for me to come with him. Shaking my head in disbelief I climb up the side of the bus and join this crazy boy on the roof. I scream as the bus rolls off the curb. Laughing like a madman, John grabs onto my hand. I cling to it for dear life. I'm positive the finger nails on my other hand are digging marks into the bus. Though it's absolutely terrifying, this is also totally thrilling. The wind is whipping my hair in every direction and the street goes whizzing past us. I look up into John's smiling face and find that I can't help but to smile as well. I can honestly say that I have never done anything like this. He looks so alive as he shouts in excitement.

The ride, though probably short, seems to last forever. When the bus finally comes to a halt, we slide off onto the roof of the bus shelter. John hops down before me and holds his arms up to me. "Come 'ead my angel face," he smirks. I ignore his little nickname. Sitting on the edge of the shelter, I jump into his arms. He stumbles a bit, and in doing so, he tightens his arms around me instinctively. People passing by shoot us strange looks but that doesn't stop us from laughing like crazy people. My laughter turns silent when I run out of air and even then I can't stop it. I can feel John's laughter racking through his body seeing as his arms are still holding me tight to him.

He releases me from his grasp and takes my hand in his. His chuckles can still be heard as he runs down the street, dragging me along behind him. My legs are shaking ever so slightly. Not because I'm near John, but because I'm still a tad bit freaked out from our bus ride. It was a strange sense of freedom mixed with fear(for me-mostly fear. never again).

"Where are we going now?" After our bus ride, I'm kind of nervous to hear what his answer will be.

"The beach."

I slow to a walk, then just come to a halt. I stare out over the water in amazement, yet at the same time in horror. I haven't seen the ocean in ages. And only then it was from America, not England. I don't know how I feel about being back at here, especially when it took so much from me. But then again, maybe it'll be good for me. Maybe I have a stronger connection here to what I lost. The vast gray waters stretch on forever. I follow after John in a stupor. At first I refuse to move until he explains that we're going to walk down the pier so I can get closer. I reluctantly follow him onto the pier, willing myself not to panic.

Out on the pier, the wind blows against us relentlessly. The waters are choppy and cold, just like I last remembered. Once we reach the edge, I take a deep breath and then lean out over the railing and hold my hands out in the air. I close my eyes and feel the spray of the waves crashing against the wall beneath us reach my face. The salty smell that lingers in the air is so calming, as are the distant cries of seagulls. I'm amazed by how calming it can be to me now, even after all that happened. My eyes fly open at the sound of a camera flash. I twist my head to my left to see John holding a camera up by his face. He smirks and comments on how nice a picture it will be. Knowing he's teasing me, I roll my eyes at him. "It's so beautiful out here, in Liverpool. What I would give to live here…"

Beside me John merely shrugs, "Really, it's just another dirty city."

"What? You don't like it?" I ask incredulously. He shakes his head. "Course I like it. I guess I'm jus' used to it, ye know?"

I think I understand what he means. "So have you lived here awhile then?"

"Born an' raised." The way he says this makes me think he isn't exactly happy saying this. I watch him pull out a cigarette and light it. He blows a stream of blue-gray smoke from his lips before talking again, "What about you? Yer from America, right?"

"Yea. I lived there until I was about ten. Near Washington D.C. actually." I shift uncomfortably on my feet hoping he won't ask any further questions about my past. In silence we amble back down the pier. I shiver and try to rub the goose bumps off my arms. From the corner of my eye I see John shrug off his jacket. Despite my protests, he places it over my shoulders. After a few seconds, I give in and put my arms in the sleeves. His coat is much longer on me because I'm so much smaller than him. The hem reaches down about six inches above my knees and I have to push the sleeves up. The gray wool isn't soft but it's not scratchy either. I tuck my chin to my chest to keep the wind from biting my nose.

I don't waste any time getting to the sand. I've never been to an actual beach before, just to the water. Well I've seen them but I was never allowed to play on it or in the sand. To my amazement, I see John kick off his shoes and carry them in his hands. He nods at me encouragingly. I follow his example and squeal as soon as I put my feet on the dull colored sand. There is nothing like the feeling of sand beneath your toes. I giggle at the feeling of the sand squished between my toes. John shakes his head at my reaction with his usual smirk.

We stop once we're about three feet from the water lapping up onto the sand. John wanders a few feet away from me while I gaze out at the ocean. For some reason, I feel like I'm closer to home. Well, what was my home in America at least. I know that just across these waters is what I think of as my freedom; my happiness, even though these same waters are what took it from me in the first place. It's so close, yet so far away.

"Watcha thinkin' 'bout that's got your face so cross, luv?" John's voice brings me to the present. I realize that he took another picture of me. "Times when I used to be happy." There is my first mental slap for today, people.

Slowly taking steps toward me, John asks, "Ye aren't 'appy now?"

"Not at all. Not that anyone really cares." Second slap.

"Why aren't ye 'appy, luv?" he sounds genuinely curious.

"How can I be? I'm away from home." I hate how depressed and bitter I sound. He stands right next to me, his arm brushing against mine at the little movements we make.

"Why are ye? If ye don' mind me askin'."

"I'd rather not talk about it. It's not exactly my favorite topic."

""Shamed a yer family, is that it? I am sometimes. They're drivin' me mad. I don' know what ter believe anymore." The usually emotionless boy sounds troubled by this. The way he says the words makes it seem like he's thought about it a lot too.

"What do you mean?" I wonder, returning my focus to the gray waters.

"Well, I live with me aunt but I've got meself both parents. Don' even remember last time I saw me da. Me mum lives just around the corner all me life an' not once does she try ter see me. Didn' find that out till 'bout two years ago. She's been tryin' ter win me over since then, but…Oh, I don' know why I'm tellin' ye this. I don' even know ye," he sighs and runs his fingers through his hair.

"I won' tell anyone. It's not like I have anyone to tell anyway." Third slap.

"Ye make yer life sound so mis'rable, luv. Surely it's not that bad." John tries to cover his seriousness with a teasing voice but I can see through it.

Suddenly, there is a break in the thick layer of clouds and the sun finally shines through it. Streams of light shed the waters of their dreary colors and liven up the dismal shores across the way. The sight is so beautiful, so serene that I can't help it. A single tear falls from my eye. I think that single stupid tear opened up the flood gates in my eyes because the next thing I know is there are tears streaming down my face. I try to wipe them away before John notices, but of course things don't go my way. "Are ye cryin', luv?" he asks in disbelief.

"N-n-no," I stutter pathetically. I am so frustrated with myself. Any other time I would never let myself cry, so why am I now?

John holds his hands up near my face as if he wants to do something but has no clue. "Please don' cry," he begs, "I never know what ter do when you birds cry."

I let out a short laugh because that doesn't shock me and just murmur, "I think I need a hug."

He smiles and wraps his strong arms around me. I throw my arms around his neck and tuck my face in his shoulder. I inhale deeply in order to calm myself down and stop crying and discover that he smells like cinnamon. Focusing on that comforting smell, I breathe in and out. "Why ye cryin', my angel face?"

I respond with a half hearted laugh when he calls me his angel face again. After what seems like hours, I finally am able to stop my tears and I try to pull away from him. When I do, John simply pulls me closer to him. I smile into his shoulder. Suddenly, I am overcome with the urge to tell someone about my past. This has never happened and I know it's only because it's him. I don't think I could tell anyone else.

"I'm not ashamed of my family. I'd have to have one to be ashamed of them." I chose my words carefully and wait patiently for him to put them together. "Wait. So that drawing…the one of that girls' home-"

"Yea, that's where I live."

He leans away from me to get a good look at my face. John tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear and pulls me close again. "Other people just get all the luck, don' they?"

"Ha. Yea, I guess they do. What about the kids like us? Don't we deserve any?" I mumble into his shoulder.

"Naw. We get ter act like complete arses though. We don' 'ave ter be perfect. Yer excuse is always 'I 'ad a troubled childhood'. All it takes ter get outta trouble."

"What if you don't get in trouble though?"

"Wull, I guess I wouldn' know what that's like." Though I can't see his face right now, I know there's a smirk on it.

"So, what 'appened then? Ye don' 'ave ter tell me if ye don' wanna." I let out a great sigh even though I have been waiting for this question.

"I lived in Washington D.C. until I was about nine. I had one brother and my parents were amazing. I had all the friends I could ever want. I also had this old English sheepdog. And I always had my music.

"My brother's name was Jessie. He was a year and a half older than me and was constantly reminding me of that. He was always into any kind of sport he could play. His favorite thing in the world was basketball, though. And he was good at it too. Anyway, we were like best friends. People usually thought we were twins. It felt that way sometimes, too.

"My best friends were Lizzy and Maggie. They were like sisters to me. For some reason, they began to grow apart during my last year there. I never learned why but I guess it doesn't really matter now. They never failed to make me feel better.

"My mom was the sweetest woman you could ever imagine. She adored my brother and me. She always had time for us and was the most selfless person I knew.

"I think my dad was the toughest person to lose honestly. He was my idol. He worked at a recording studio just outside of Washington and at the Washington Colesium. He took me there so many times. That's why I love music so much; why it's so important to me. I still want to be just like him, you know?

"Anyway, my dad decided we ought to visit my mom's parents in Ireland. Instead of flying, my parents wanted to make a fun vacation out of it so we took a ship. We were having a lot of fun until-" I take a shaky breath. John remains quiet. I sigh yet again and continue. "I don't know how or why, but the boat started sinking. Some of the electric wiring or something like that sparked and then the boat caught on fire. People were scrambling in every direction, screaming and crying. I hate myself for this but all I could do then was cling to the railing in the hallway and cry. One minute Jessie was there holding me, the next some stranger was carrying me away. The only other thing I remember from that night was being handed over to someone in a lifeboat.

"Only five out of 95 people survived. I was one of them. My mom, dad, brother, they were dead. I didn't really understand what that meant for awhile. I think I finally realized that they weren't coming back when I was shipped off to my mom's parents by complete strangers.

"They were nice enough people but they were really too old to have such a young kid live with them. My grandfather died a few months after I was sent there. Distraught, and having never really liked me, my grandmother sent me to London to live with my uncle. He also didn't like children. After about half a year, he sent me to that home and no one's heard from him since.

"The most tragic part of the story is that Godforsaken home. That women will have her own personal ring of hell to deal with when she goes. I think that's all I better say about that."

When I finish, we both sand there in silence for a few minutes. "That's terrible, luv. 'Ow do ye-'ow can ye deal with it?" John let's me go at last and takes a good long look at me with his dark eyes.

I shrug. I don't really have an answer to that question. "I guess I just kind of _had_ to deal with it. What else can I do? Just because you might not accept they're really gone doesn't mean that they're still here. I didn't really have any choice but to just accept it. And I did. I figure things have to change sometimes, whether it's for better or worse."

"Ye make my childhood look so normal compared ter yers." I'm thankful for his light and playful mood. It makes me feel better."You know, you are the first and only person I've ever told any of that to." I admit this sheepishly.

"If it makes ye feel any better, most a me best mates don' even know the story with me aunt and mum. Only me cousin, my mate, Pete, Paulie, and Georgie really understand. I figure people don' need ter know me business.

"Me da was off in the navy after me mum 'ad me. She met some other guy, 'ad a daughter with 'im. When me da came back 'e tried ter make things work but me mum wouldn' 'ave it. One day me da took me ter Blackpool. 'E 'ad some crazy plan ter take me with 'im ter his new place in New Zealand. Me aunt, Mimi, and me mum found me an' stopped 'im. They fought fer awhile and then Mimi took me 'ome. I was 'bout five then. Been with Mimi ever since." I'm pretty sure that this is a lot for him to admit. The troubled expression his face is wearing leads me to believe I'm right.

"I guess we've both been pretty much fucked over," John sighs and sits on a nearby bench. I sit beside him after a few seconds pass. Already I've grown accustomed to the language these boys have. I adjust to things very quickly. I have to, you know? "Yea, I guess so. And it's awful. Not even one thing can be good?"

"Well, there's always music, luv."

I lean back and smile. "You're right. There _is _always music." John turns his head to look at me and smiles. I don't know why and he doesn't say. Shaking my head, I continue to stare out at the ocean that took away nearly everything I've ever loved. But for some reason, it doesn't seem to hurt as much anymore. Part of me wonders if it has anything to do with the smirking boy beside me.


	6. I Fancy Me Chances

_**DISCLAIMER: umm if i owned the beatles i wouldnt be writing about them on fanfiction would I? i'd be staring at them and drooling, thinking, 'oh my God! I own the freakin' beatles!' (i wish)**_

_Chapter Six_

_I Fancy Me Chances_

Not long after I sit down, I close my eyes and feel the sun on my face. The sun doesn't usually make its presence known in this country. It is yet another thing I miss. Smoke from what I guess to be a cigarette lit by John reaches my nose. The smell reminds me again that there is actually someone with me that wants to be.

Without a warning, a hand roughly yanks me to my feet. My eyes fly open in alarm. John starts running up the sand dragging me along. "What are you-" My question is cut short when I see a familiar group of faces making their way down the pier. I see Ms. Parkhurst stop and try to get a better look at us. Luckily, we manage to make it under the pier in time. I use one of the beams for support and watch the boards above me. I know she can't see me now, but I'm a tad paranoid at the moment. John is trying to catch his breath from our short sprint. I can't thank him enough. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!"

He shakes it off like it's nothing. I grow slightly worried when I see a sly smirk crawl onto his face. He steps toward me, "Ye know, I believe ye still owe me a kiss. That's all the thanks I need, luv."

I place my hands on my hips and shoot him a disparaging look. "I don't owe you anything. And why a kiss?"

"Well, it could be a little more than a simple kiss if ye want." He wags his eyebrows suggestively. "You're a swine, John Lennon," I state with a smirk.

"Well that's new. I s'pose I 've been called worse, so I'll take it." He shrugs. I can only imagine what kind of trouble he's gotten himself into to get called names I really don't want to hear.

"No really. Why do I owe you a kiss?" I ask seriously.

"I toldja n the train if I put ye down ye'd 'ave ter give me a kiss."

"You mean when you dropped me because you ran into my teacher. And then I got in trouble for it. I owe you for that?" I question incredulously.

He smirks, "Yes ye do. But now ye owe me fer keepin' ye from getting' in trouble. I think that's a good reason, don' you?"

"No. I'm not kissing some random guy I just met." I say resolutely. There is no way I'm kissing him. Absolutely not.

"Fine. Fine. Now what? Where do ye wanna go?" he asks walking away. It seems a bit suspicious to me that he's giving up that easily. I follow after him and remain under the pier.

"I'd leave it to you to pick the place but I think that I might somehow end up endangering my life, so…" I trail off, a small smirk on my face even though I'm somewhat serious.

"Ha-ha. Don' wurry, yer safe with me. Fer now, anyway. So am I allowed ter pick the place er are you gonna?"

"Unless you've got a better idea why don't we go back to that park? I liked it there." As soon as the words leave my mouth, I regret them. He'll probably think its lame that I want to go to the park. Apparently he is always full of surprises though, because he likes the idea.

"Sounds good. It's usually quiet there."

"When you say usually and not always I'm guessing it's that way because you go there, right?" I elbow him lightly.

The corner of his mouth twitches upwards but he shakes his head slightly. "No, I actually like the quiet there. That's one place I leave alone."

"So you leaving the quiet alone means you pushing Georgie into the lake? You have an interesting take on the definition of quiet my disruptive friend," I laugh at the thought of poor Georgie soaked to the bone and threatening John with death.

"Okay, so I usually try ter keep the quiet there. Georgie's the exception, I guess. I never pass up an opportunity ter mess with the lad," John smiles. He looks up to the pier above us in search of the group of people from my school. Seeing no one, he motions for me to step out from under the cover of the pier. Paranoid as usual, I have to check for myself. I've gotten so used to not trusting anyone that I find it hard to be able to, even with a simple thing like that.

Once on the sidewalk and headed toward the direction of the park, I continue our earlier conversation, "Why do you mess with people so much? Especially Georgie. He looks up to you so much but all you do is tease him. I'm not judging, I'm simply observing."

John shrugs. "I don' know, I guess I always 'ave. As fer Georgie, I really don' know. It's fun?"

"That's not a reason," I scold.

"Says who?"

"Moi."

"Oh gettin' all fancy with the French, I see. Yer not tryin' ter impress me are ye? Remember, ye don' 'ave ter work fer that kiss. Ye owe me one already." His wink makes me frustrated yet amused at the same time. I roll my eyes to show that he should just give up already. "You are not getting a kiss out of me."

"Sure, sure. Just ye wait." He smirks ominously. I eye him warily which receives a short laugh. We fall silent a few minutes later. His arm brushes against mine as we walk. I take in all the buildings and shops as we make our way to the park. The two of us make a few detours when we happen to come by music stores. By the amount of kids I see in the streets, I figure school must already be out for the day.

On the corner of the street ahead of us, there is a group of about four or five guys. Without a word, John slings an arm across my shoulders and pulls me close to his side. In confusion, I glance up at him to see him glaring at the group of guys. His face remains cold and otherwise expressionless as we get closer. A few of the guys call out some rather rude things to me and John just pulls me tighter to his side. Once they are behind us and out of sight, he returns his arm to his side.

"Um…what was that about?" I question quietly.

"Nuthin', nuthin', sorry. You think _I_ cause trouble, ye should see them." He runs a hand through his hair. I smile inwardly at the thought that he had felt the need to protect me. We reach the gates of Princes Park and enter them after a mother and her child go through. "So what shall we do?"

Scanning the area in hopes of finding some inspiration, John suddenly cries, "Let's get a boat!"

"A boat?" I ask skeptically. He nods eagerly. Shrugging, I let him take my hand and drag me off to the boat rental shop. The old man at the counter shakes his head at us disapprovingly but let's us take a canoe all the same.

John pushes the green boat out into the still green waters and climbs in. He holds out a hand to me and I carefully step in it as well. I sit down quickly across from the boy. He picks up the oars and immediately starts rowing out to the center of the lake. I gaze out over the water without so much as glance at him. The reason I'm avoiding his gaze is because I can feel his eyes already on me. I know he's watching me the way I watched him at the Cavern. And to be honest, I don't really mind.

Neither of us talks until we are a few hundred feet from the shore. "Yer bein' awful quiet." John observes, breaking the silence.

"I thought you liked the quiet here. I was simply keeping it that way." Actually, I was the one who liked the quiet.

He sets the oars down and answers, "Wull, I do, but yer more interesting' than the quiet."

"Oh, I am, am I? And why's that?"

"I'm not sure yet, ter be honest. I wanna find out though."

"Am I interesting because I'm refusing to kiss you when other girls would throw themselves at you?"

"Ye know ye might be onto somethin' there." His smirk only grows wider when I roll my eyes. "Why won't ye kiss me?"

"Because."

"That's not a reason," he teases, mimicking me.

"Oh grow up already."

"I will if ye kiss me."

"For the last time, I'm not kissing you!"

"Why not?" he whines playfully like a little schoolgirl. It works because I giggle a little.

"I'll get that kiss someday, ye know. I will."

"Sure, sure. I believe you. Not."

"I wouldn' be too sure, luv. I must say I fancy me chances." John winks at me. He sits back and looks out at the water. There is a thoughtful expression on his face while he does so. All of a sudden he shouts, "Look! It's a duck!"

I whirl my head around to where he's pointing, not because to see a duck, but because to see why he is so excited by this. Not seeing any birds of any kind, I turn my head back only to have my lips meet John's. At first, I'm too shocked to realize what's happening. Then I collect my thoughts and use all my strength to shove him away from me. Though this does succeed in getting his lips off mine, it also throws him off balance enough to rock the canoe. He stumbles before falling onto the side of the canoe. This causes the boat to tilt dangerously far to one side. I'm absolutely stunned, especially when John falls over the edge, taking the canoe backwards with him. And with me still in it I might add.

Water suddenly fills my ears, eyes, and lungs. I panic and flail my limbs in every direction in hopes of getting to the surface. It probably would've been a good thing to have told John that I can't swim. A wave of relief washes over me (no pun intended) when a pair of strong arms wrap around my waist. They quickly pull me up. I gasp for air as soon as we reach the surface only to go right back under when he lets go. I can feel him childishly splashing around beside me. I desperately make my way over to him. I throw my arms around his neck and cling to him.

"Whoa, luv, it wuz just one kiss, no need ter be all clingy." John chuckles.

Through clenched teeth, I nearly growl, "I'm not being clingy you bastard! I can't swim!"

Though he does laugh at this, he snakes his arms around my waist as a comfort. "Ha. I got a kiss outta ye!"

I bury my face into the crook of his neck, blushing furiously. "I can't believe you did that. Well I mean I can, but..."

"Sorry. Wull, not really, but if it makes ye feel better, I won't do it again."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

I sigh shakily, still hanging onto him for dear life. I look up at him when he says my name. He nods at something behind me. Slowly, I turn my head and see a duck swim past us. I let out a short, loud laugh just as he does.

"Alright. Now get me the hell out of the water. Please." Even with him holding me up, I'm still a little freaked about being in such deep water. The slight waves sway us gently. John manages to flip the canoe back over while still holding onto me. He pushes me up into it and I help him climb back in. We end up lying next to each other on the floor of the canoe. I take deep breaths and try to calm down. John is still chuckling beside me.

"Can we not do that again?" I ask in a small voice.

This cause John to laugh heartily and soon I join in. Before I know it, neither of us can stop. I don't really know why but I can't help it. All the stress of the past few years seems to melt away in this tastefully simple moment. A little after we finally cease our laughter, I rest my head on his shoulder. "I thought we agreed to not do any more life endangering activities."

"Did we?"

"I'm pretty sure."

"Wull sorry ter disappoint but I don' think that'll 'appen with the two of us."

"Probably not, you're right."

"Oh, I'm sorry. What was that? Didja just say that I wuz right? That's a first."

"And it'll be a last if you keep talking."

"Fine. Fine. But I wuz right about another thin'."

I look up at him curiously. I know I can't be good because of his smirk. "I got a kiss from ye."

I slap his arm and tell him to get over himself. "I hate you," I whine but don't really mean it.

"Ditto. Wull actually I do kinda like ye."

"You do?" I ask in shock.

"Don' sound so surprised, luv. Why wouldn' I?" he gazes at me a bit confused.

"Oh, well, I guess it's just that people don't really like me. Or even notice me in the first place for that matter." That sounds sad no matter how you say it.

"But yer amazin'. An' I don' tell many birds that, Sadie. Believe me."

"Thanks, John. I just wish I didn't have to go back to London. I can't stand it there. I wish I could stay here. I really like it and the people of course." I try not to think about the fact that once I leave in two days, I will most likely never see this complicated boy again.

"'Ey, that cloud looks like a guitar," he says randomly. I follow his gaze and am shocked to actually see sunshine and blue skies littered with puffy white clouds. Sure enough one of them does look like a guitar. And that is what gets us started on a half hour spent on guessing the shapes of clouds. By the end of our game, the sun had returned to its hiding and left us with the usual dreary gray skies. Stiffly, John sits up and rubs his back. He takes his seat and picks up the oars. I sit up and watch him row us back to the shore.

"I'm never going to be dry in time to get back to the hotel," I complain, attempting to wring out the bottom off Lucy's shirt. Giving up on that, I try to squeeze the water of my now stringy hair. I sigh in frustration because it's no use.

John lifts me out of the canoe once we reach the shore. With very little help from me, he finally gets it back to the other rental boats. I'm still somewhat upset with him so I let him put it back himself.

The old man at the counter shakes his head at us yet again when we pass his stand. I'm pretty sure he's mumbling something about the 'troublesome youth these days'.

"I don't think I'm ever gonna forgive you for that one," I say once I take a seat on the bench we found. Chuckling, John sits beside me. "Admit it, you like it. All this crazy stuff."

I shrug, "Well I can certainly say that I've never done anything like any of this stuff you've had me do."

"Yer welcome."

"I'm not sure if I want to thank you for this yet."

"Ye will eventually."

"Yea, like you got a kiss from me?" I ask sarcastically.

"Exactly, luv." I want to wipe that smirk off his face so badly right now.

"You're extremely annoying."

"So I've been told," he smirks.

"And that doesn't bother you?" I wonder curiously.

He shakes his head, "I don' give a damn what people think 'bout me. Prob'ly why I get inter trouble but 'ey, it's fun. I'm not going to change the way I look or the way I feel to conform to anything. I've always been a freak. So I've been a freak all my life and I have to live with that, you know. I'm one of those people."

I consider this for a moment. "That's actually quite profound, but I'm still mad at you."

"I figured. And thank you, I do often consider myself a genius, glad someone else is finally catching on," he grins.

I roll my eyes at him. "What time is it?"

"Uh prob'ly 'round four thirty, five, why?"

"I'm really, really hungry." This earns a laugh from him and he pulls me to my feet. "Where are we going? I'm not going anywhere soaking wet."

"Relax. However, we will be takin' a bus," he adds quickly.

"No, I will not-"

"Yea an' ye also said ye would never kiss me. Let's go."

"I think I hate you."

"Nah, ye just strongly dislike me." And with that, he pushes me onto the nearest bus. We take a seat next to an older man reading a newspaper. He shoots us a funny look. I glance down at our drenched clothes and shrug, not caring what he thinks.

Thanks to John refusing to talk, I have absolutely no idea where we are going. Normally I don't like not knowing things, but with John I find it kind of exciting. After a longish ride, he stands up at one of the stops and leads me outside. I find myself on a quiet street in a nice looking neighborhood. We walk down the street in silence for a bit until he stops in front of a house. "That's mine. I gotta make sure Mimi ain't home first."

I stare at him in confusion as he pushes me down and tells me to hide behind the wall of bushes. He sprints up to the house, knocks, then comes back and hides with me. He watches the door through a little hole in the bushes. After a few minutes of no one answering, he motions for me to stand up and walks over to the gate. He swings it open and heads down the little walkway at a much slower pace this time. I follow after him slowly.

He opens the front door and leaves it open for me. I shut it behind me. When I turn around, I realize that he's gone. I have nothing to do but wait for a few minutes. Then, he finally reappears from the stairs. He throws a coat at me. I slip off the one I'm wearing and hand it back to him. This coat is nearly the same as the first one he gave me, only it's black. John is in an entirely new outfit. He's still wearing jeans and a black t-shirt but they are dry. He throws on a light jacket and apologizes to me, "Sorry, all I've got fer ye's the coat. I don' really 'ave any-"

"No, no, this is fine. At least this coat is dry. I'll be fine," I assure him. "So now what?"

"We could just make sandwiches 'ere and then do somethin' else in town," he suggests, shrugging. I nod and take a seat at the table. He opens a cupboard and pulls out some bread.

"John?"

"Yea?" he asks, currently in search of something in the fridge.

"If it were some random girl instead of me, would you've done all this? I mean, would you still be this-helpful?"

He pauses for a minute. "No."

"Why not?" I question.

"I'm not sure, I think yer different. But I don' really know." He answers me slowly, unable to explain. "That, an' I think I like 'avin' ye 'round. Treatin' ye like I treat most people prob'ly wouldn' make ye wanna come back, truthfully."

"Alright, I'll accept that."

He smirks. "Anyway, do you want some hot chocolate? We got some muffins-"

"Chocolate muffins?" I interrupt.

"I think so-"

I jump out of my seat and attack a very surprised John with a bear hug. "Ohmagosh you're my new best friend!" I exclaim, still hugging him.

"'Ave ye gone bloody mad!"

Sheepishly, I release him and apologize. "I just really, really like chocolate chip muffins. And hot chocolate."

"I can tell. So would ye like some?" he asks eyeing me warily, half expecting to be attacked with another hug. I smile shyly and apologize again.

Once we've eaten, John hands me a cup of steaming hot chocolate. "Yeah!" I cry in delight. I shoot him a death glare when he makes a judgmental face at me. I take a small sip and savor the chocolaty taste. "Hot chocolate and chocolate chip muffins are the two things I'm positive I would die without." John chuckles at this. "I would die without my guitar to be honest."

"There you go. Now see, I'm not judging you for saying that, so why laugh at me about the hot chocolate and muffins?"

"Sorry, I'll be nice."

"Good. Now I hate to say it but we should probably be getting back. They get back to the hotel at eight and its six thirty now."

He looks disappointed, I know I am, but he nods in understanding.

It takes us about half an hour to get back to the street the hotel is on. We wander aimlessly up and down the street next to it for a little while. I tuck my nose into the collar of his jacket to keep the wind from biting at it. Sneaking a quick glance at John to make sure he isn't looking, I inhale the scent of the cinnamon that clings to his coat. I am very aware of his arm that is brushing against mine as we walk. I definitely had been right when I felt like something good might happen on this trip to the 'Pool, as Paul calls it.

Breaking the comfortable silence, I say, "Don't tease me but I want to thank you, again. For having fun."

"S'not a problem. 'Ad nuthin' better ter do anyhow." He tries to make it seem like nothing but I can tell he's happy.

"Anyway, I had fun. And thanks for…listening," I pause after for to find a good word to use.

For once he doesn't crack a joke or pass it off like it's nothing. Instead, he nods. "Yer welcome. And don' worry 'bout it. Sounds like ye needed someone ter tell it to, ye know?"

I smile and then take on some of his dramatics and exclaim, "Why couldn't you've lived in London! You're the only person who's ever listened to me and you live all the way out here!"

At this he looks amused, yet surprised. "What about Lucy?"

"She doesn't know any of what I told you. We didn't start talking until after I first met you guys," I admit somewhat embarrassed.

"Oh, ye just seemed so close."

"I think we will be. Hopefully, anyway. But thank you for giving me the best couple of days I've had in the last few years."

Smirking, John leans in close to my face. "Ye know we could make this day even better. Another kiss from me an' I promise it'll be the best day of yer life." Now there's an answer I expected.

"Someone thinks a little highly of himself, now doesn't he?" I place a hand on my hip and quirk an eyebrow.

"As a matter a fact, I do."

I roll my eyes, step around him, and continue walking. He catches up easily, smirk still in place. "And I thought you promised not to try to kiss me again?"

"Right. Fergot."

Of course there's no actual apology. "I can't believe tomorrow's my last full day here," I sigh. The thought of leaving all this fun behind is seriously depressing.

"Ye leave in two days?" John asks, disbelief ruining his seemingly uncaring expression. Does the thought of me leaving actually upset him?

"What? You gonna miss me?" I tease, smiling at him. He nods, his usual smirk back on his face. "Per'aps."

"Really?" Now it's my turn to be surprised.

"Yea, I 'ad fun with ye. I really did. Don' talk about clothes er yer hair an' ye like all the good music, rock an' roll. Yer different, I like ye," he admits, blushing a little.

A bubbly feeling grows inside me when he says this. I actually mean something to someone again! "I like you, too. I think. When you're not trying to get a kiss from me."

Dramatically, he folds his hands under his chin and sighs, "Oh do ye? Do ye really! I don' know what ter say! I'm speechless!"

I slap at him playfully, "Oh stop being such a girl. Quit it."

He stops and just smirks at me. His face falls when the clock tower strikes seven thirty. "I gotta go, John," I murmur sadly.

He smiles gently, "Aww, cheer up, don' miss me too much."

"Thanks for being so nice. Well sort of nice. Bye, John." What an awful good-bye is that? I will most likely never see him again and that's all I have to say? I feel like slapping myself for being such an idiot.

"If I give you a hug will you promise not to try anything funny?" I ask in a small voice. He grins from ear to ear, "Promise." With that I throw my arms around him in a tight hug. He wraps his arms around me slowly. He holds me to him for a moment or two before we let go. I kiss his cheek and walk past him reluctantly. I rush to get back to the hotel. And much as I want to, I refuse to allow myself to look back. How can it be this hard to leave someone you've just met? Someone you hardly know? But I don't feel as if I don't know him. I feel like I've known him for ages already.


	7. Anytime At All

_**DISCLAIMER: umm if i owned the beatles i wouldnt be writing about them on fanfiction would I? i'd be staring at them and drooling, thinking, 'oh my God! I own the freakin' beatles!' (i wish)**_

_Chapter Seven_

_Any Time At All_

I know that Lucy doesn't believe that I had actually been sick but she doesn't voice her thoughts. I can just tell by the look on her face. I honestly don't care though, yesterday had been amazing. It was definitely worth suspicious looks Lucy keeps throwing my way. She and I are packing up now so we won't have to do it in the morning tomorrow. I ask her if she's seen my sketchbook and she points to the door to our balcony. Throwing my suitcase to the floor and zipping it up halfway, I head to the far side of the room. I slide the curtained glass door open and step outside.

"Sadie!" a voice calls. Curiously, I look down over my balcony. Who on earth can possibly be calling me from the street? Of course it's John who is standing on the sidewalk below me.

"Good mornin' my angel face," he greets brightly. I can't keep the smile of my face. "John, what are you doing here?"

"I've come ter see my angel face of course." He's smirking happily. I roll my eyes at him and tell him to get lost. "Aww, come 'ave some fun, luv." He waves for me to come down and join him.

"Go away, John. You're going to get me in trouble!" Despite what I tell him I do want him to stay.

"Oh, come 'ead, Sadie! Its yer last day ter be graced with me presence. Tomorrow yer gonna go back ter a bor'n life in which I am not there an' yer gonna wish ye'd come. So get yer arse down 'ere." I must say he does put up a fairly decent argument. Okay, so maybe not, but cut me some slack. I don't want to seem as desperate as I really am to spend more time with him.

"Okay, fine. I'll go, but I can't stay out with you all day. And no more crazy stuff. I don't need to die of a heart attack after I've just turned 17, alright?" I put my terms out on the table.

He considers this for a second before responding. "Alright, good enough, I s'pose. Just one thing…"

From the smirk on his face I can tell that he can see the skeptic look on my own even all the way down on the sidewalk. "It involves a bus."

"Not a chance. Unless we ride _inside_ of bus, I am never going near another one with you around. Understand?" Fun as it was, I'd rather die by getting hit by a bus, not flying off of the roof of it and hitting the ground. I'm sure normal people will agree with me. And by normal, I mean everyone but John.

"But we rode on one yesterday," he argues.

"Yea, after you flipped over our canoe."

"When ye look at it that wuz really yer fault."

I sigh frustrated. "Fine, whatever."

He grins widely and motions for me to get going. I get the message and turn around to find Lucy standing in the doorway, arms crossed. She raises an eyebrow at me. I hang my head in shame.

"You made me spend an entire day with the two science freaks to sneak out with him!" she exclaims in a hushed voice.

"Look, I'm really sorry, I just-I-"

"Don't wanna hear it. I don't. And don't say you're sorry because you're about to do it again."

I smile apologetically. "Wait, today's Saturday, right?"

"What?"

"Hang on," I say, rushing over to the edge of the balcony. "John, John!" I call out while trying not to yell. He looks up instantly. "What's Paul doing today?"

"Uh, I don' know. Prob'ly sittin' at 'ome with 'is brother. Why?"

"Go get him."

"Why? I thought-"

"Please?"

"Fine," he sighs, shaking his head at me. I watch as he disappears around the corner. Then I turn back to Lucy. "There, happy?"

"Huh? What'd ye mean?"

"John's getting' Paul. Happy? Now let's go get some breakfast."

Lucy chases me down the hall. "What are you crazy or somethin'!"

"No, you didn't want to be alone with the science freaks, so I figured you could come with us. John went to get Paul. Don't deny it, I know you like him. It'll be fun." I thought she'd be happy about this.

"Yer goin' ter get me in so much trouble!" she shrieks under her breath.

"I thought you were the rebellious type? Why are you freaking out?"

"I thought I was too until I met you!"

"Really? I thought it was you that made me less concerned about breaking rules. Huh, whatever. So you're coming, right? It is a free day."

"Of course I'm comin'," she answers nervously biting a fingernail.

"Seriously what happened to the rebellious, outgoing, boy crazy girl that talked me into going to the Cavern in the first place?"  
"She's still 'ere, she's just hidin'."

"Sure, sure."

Ms. Parkhurst comes by while we are eating our breakfast and stops at our table. "Glad to see you're feeling better Miss Rigby." She sounds sincere which is sort of surprising.

"Thank you, Ms. Parkhurst. I really don't like being sick. I'm sorry I had to miss out on so much fun." I wince slightly when Lucy kicks my leg under the table. She smiles at me innocently. Obviously she still hasn't quite forgiven me yet.

"Well you still have today dear. What are the two of you planning on doing today?"

"I was thinking about going to Penny Lane. I hear there are some great stores there. And we might go to the beach if we have time. I've always wanted to see the ocean." I offer. She eats it up and tells us to have fun.

"What are we actually doin'?" Lucy asks once Ms. Parkhurst moves on to another table.

I shrug, honestly not sure. "I've got no idea."

"Well that's helpful."

"Sorry. We never plan where we go. Well, I hadn't planned on him showing up at all so…"

"I still can' believe ye left me with Jennifer an' Molly yesterday ter hang out with _that_," she scoffs.

"It's not like I knew you'd be stuck with them!"

"Did ye even think about it?" she asks.

My silence is all she needs for an answer. After a few minutes we finish eating. She picks up our dishes and places them in the cart set aside for them. I follow her outside feeling slightly ashamed of myself. The second we step out of the hotel I spot John and Paul down by the corner, talking. Lucy marches alongside me with a stern look on her face.

"Hey Paulie," I greet using his nickname, smiling at his blush.

"God, I think 'e's rubbin' off on ye, Sadie," he groans. Lucy nods in agreement. John smirks at my blond friend. "Look who decided ter join us."

"Shut it, you," she snaps at John. Then she smiles shyly at Paul, "Hey Paul."

"Playin' fav'rites, she is." John pretends to be upset. I cuff the back of his head and tell him we should get a move on before someone sees us. Paul and Lucy walk a few feet in front of us, talking about something or other. John leans down and whispers in my ear, "So we gonna ditch 'em?"

I glance from them to him and then shove him down the alley next to us. We run like madmen to get away far enough away from them before they realize we're gone. When we finally stop running and come to a halt I smile, "She is going to murder me when we meet up again."

"Wull, 'ave fun with that. Anyhow, what should we do on yer last day in the 'Pool?" he laughs, leaning against the brick building.

"I don't know. Probably something a little more tame than our last few days together," I offer hopeful that there won't be any insane, life threatening events today.

"Aww where's yer sense of adventure, luv?" I feel like slapping his infuriating smirk right off his face. "Oh, I don't know, maybe I lost it when I was hanging onto the roof of a moving bus!"

His dark eyes light up with amusement. The gentle breeze ruffles his auburn hair. He tucks a strand of my curls the wind blew into disarray behind my ear. I raise an eyebrow in warning for him not to try anything on me. He smirks for the millionth time and starts walking away. I follow after somewhat frustrated with him.

"We're playin' at the Cavern tonight if ye wanna come." He shoves his hands in his pockets and kicks a pop can out of his way. The metallic ting bounces off the walls right back at us.

"I'd love to but I'll have to go back to the hotel in between. And I'll have to think of some excuse to get out. Maybe Lucy will come. If she hasn't killed me by then of course."

John chuckles at the thought. "I'm glad to know that you find the idea of me being killed so funny." I hate snapping at him but Lucy's anger towards me kind of has me in a bad mood myself. "Sorry," I mumble, not really meaning it.

"I know that kind of 'sorry'. Ye don' mean it at all. And 'bout Lucy? I think if she were really determined ter kill ye, you'd already be dead by now. So let's enjoy the day, shall we?" I can't resist his encouraging smile so I nod reluctantly. "Good," he says. He takes my hand and we run down the rest of the alley, laughing at absolutely nothing.

John walks me to the street the hotel is on yet again. "Thank you for actually listening to my request for no life threatening activities today." I'm relieved that he did listen; I don't think I could take anymore things like that. He nods and looks up at the dreary Liverpudlian sky. He blinks as a raindrop hits him right between the eyes. I don't even bother to stifle my giggle. He looks at me from the corner of his eye and then rolls them. Suddenly, the sky let's loose and it begins to pour. I scrunch my nose in annoyance. I hate the rain. John smiles at my kidlike expression. "Anyway, I'll see ye later, right?"

"Yea, hopefully. Where should I meet you if I can go?"

"Uh, same place. Though if the weather's like this, I might not bother. Not sure yer really worth standin' in the rain fer." He smirks at me until I playfully slap him. "You are going to bother, got it?" I say sternly.

He nods, "Yea, yea. See ya later, Sadie."

I wave good bye and run for the safety of the hotel's awning. Lucy is standing under it, arms already crossed, glaring at me. She holds out her hand and points an accusing finger at me, "If I didn't have such a good time, I would kill you right now!" she threatens through clenched teeth.

I try to get away with smiling innocently at her but it falters under her harsh glare. "Don't you ever do that again!" she yells.

I link arms with her and guide her inside. "But you yourself that you had a good time. Admit it, you love me for it."

"Maybe for getting Paul to come but not for leavin' me alone with him!" she exclaims as we climb the stairs.

I take a deep breath, "I have to ask another favor of you, though."

"Oh, you are the most-" she begins. I cut of her would-be rant and explain, "I need some to go with me to the Cavern. Can you think of anyone who might care to join me? Perhaps a certain blond?"

Her angry features melt away and she gets an excited gleam in her eyes, "Really? They're playin' again?"

"Yea, John's gonna let us in again. Nine this time though. Got any ideas?" I lower my voice as Prudence and her group of girls walk past.

"No but I'll figure something out."

Lucy may not be the outgoing troublemaker I had originally taken her for, but man did she know how to plot and scheme.

"So how was yer day with John?" Lucy asks while checking out herself in a dress in the mirror. She makes a face and opens her suitcase wider in search of another. "The usual with him. But tell me about you and Paul. How did that go?" Yes, I do feel sort of bad for leaving her behind but I knew she'd have fun with Paul.

"It was so much fun. We talked and walked around. It was great. He's really sweet," she says excitedly. "Aha!" She pulls out a blue dress and tries it on. "You know, I think there's a lot more to him than you'd think. Like what's on the surface is only a fraction of who he really is."

I think about that. I would never label John as sweet, but he certainly is complex; a puzzle. I'm nowhere near being able to understand him, but that doesn't really make a difference to me. I like him all the same. "By the way, that is definitely the dress."

She turns to me and then twirls around in a slow circle. "Ye think?" she says thoughtfully.

"Yes. It's amazing." The blue color of the dress only makes her blue eyes even more vivid, if that's even possible. The dress cling to her curves but isn't skin tight. It comes to just below her knees and she slips on her black shoes. I nod enthusiastically.

"Now fer you. I have this one; I think it would look amazing on ye." The blond girl hands me a green dress. I look at it skeptically but she encourages me to try it on. Reluctantly, I slip out of my comfy jeans and t-shirt and pull the dress on. I step out of the bathroom and shrug, "Well?"

I do not expect her to nearly scream her head off in excitement. "You look GORGEOUS!" she shrieks.

"Uh-huh, sure." Even I can hear the doubt in my voice. She beams at me. "Ye look- just look in the mirror!"

Sighing, I do as she says. I stand in front of the floor length mirror and gasp. Not to sound totally conceited, but Lucy is right. I wouldn't call myself gorgeous but I really do look pretty. The green goes tremendously well with my coppery curls. Like the last dress I borrowed, this one doesn't have sleeves either. It clings to my body and reveals that I actually have a decent one. The thing I love the most about it though is what it does to my eyes. I always thought that my eyes used to be a flat pale green. Tonight, however, my eyes are a brilliant green. They looked like a shade lighter than emerald. I absolutely loved the effect.

"Wow." That is all I have to say. Lucy squeals again then jumps beside me. "It's eight thirty. Let's go."

I'm not really sure how Lucy got us out of there but as long as it works I don't really care. We reach the Cavern at around a quarter to nine. John smiles when he sees me at first. Then when he really looks at me his mouth nearly falls to the floor. His eyes grow wide and he fumbles with opening the door for us. Lucy enters through it first. His takes my hand in his to help me up the step. His hand lingers on mine for a few seconds after I'm already up. He trails in behind me. "Sadie, ye look…amazing."

"Was that an actual complement from John Lennon?" I gasp in fake shock. He rolls his eyes and warns me not to get used to it. I see Georgie picking up his guitar and plucking some strings. I greet him and he smiles in surprise. He blushes deeply when John teases him for staring at me. John ruffles the boy's hair in a brotherly way. Paul says hi to Lucy and I wink at John. He smirks knowingly. I finally manage to pry Lucy away from Paul with a little teasing from John.

Of course once out in the club she drags me to the dance floor. I don't really feel like dancing so I get a Coke from the bar and stand on the outer edge of the club. I watch happily as the boys get on stage and start to play. I press my back to the wall and lean on it. John looks so happy up there on stage. And I have to say it; he's got an amazing voice. So does Paul. I'd never tell him this because he is sure to laugh at me, but I think that someday they will be doing more than just singing in clubs like this.

I don't know the names of really any of the songs and I'm not pretending to. The one that I recognize from both the train and the last time I was here is Hello Little Girl. That is definitely my favorite. My smile grows wider when John starts singing it.

Lucy appears in front of me, and ignoring my strongly worded refusals she drags me back out to the dance floor. Giving in, I join her with her crazy dancing, laughing. We are up close to the stage so I glance up at the boys. A familiar pair of black eyes meets mine. John smiles at me as he continues to sing. He breaks our gaze when he shuts his eyes and hits a high note with Paul. The crowd applauds at the end of the song. John banters playfully with Paul for a few seconds before Georgie begins a new song to shut them up. John catches my eye again and winks this time. I shake my head at him and return my attention to Lucy. She is practically glowing with excitement. I'm glad she decided to come after all.

Realizing this might be my last time to ever do something like this, I decide to just let loose. I dance with Lucy for the rest of the night. Even when she stops for a break, I keep dancing. I don't even notice that they switched to another band until John steps in front of me. Smiling, I take his hands and make him dance with me. Surprisingly, he doesn't protest, he goes along with it. He joins in with me, grinning from ear to ear. His eyes are bright and playful like his smile. The tips of his hair are damp with sweat from performing, but it doesn't bother me in the slightest.

Lucy passes us in the arms of a blushing Georgie. She winks at me mockingly and John shoots a similar look right back. She giggles and pulls George away. The two of them soon disappear into the crowd. I laugh at them and John joins in. I look around and spot Paul at the bar, ordering a Coke. A petite brunette pops out of a group of girls and starts flirting with him. He seems uncomfortable and I take a closer look at the girl. I gasp when I get a glimpse of her face.

"What's wrong, luv?" John asks concerned.

I just continue to stare at the girl. He twists his head around to follow my gaze. "'Ey, innit that the-"

"Devil?" I finish for him.

"Uh…"

"No, that's Prudence and two of her friends. Oh God, I'm totally screwed. And now is not the time to make an inappropriate joke."

He shuts his mouth, biting back whatever joke I know he was about to make. "Yer fine. She can' really tell anyone she saw ye at the Cavern cuz that would mean she 'ad ter 'ave been there too. Right?" He does make a good point. I shake off my worried feelings and forget about her. Prudence will not ruin my last night in Liverpool.

The new band changes things up a bit and plays a slow song. John snakes his arms around my waist and pulls me to him. Shyly, I wrap my arms around his neck. Much as I wish I won't I know I'm going to miss him. I sigh sadly and sway with him.

"What's on yer mind?" he murmurs. I avoid his gaze and look over to where Lucy is still dancing with George. "It's nothing."

"Oh, don' give me that, luv. Somethin's wrong, I can see it written all over yer face." He removes a hand from my waist and brushes his fingertips across my cheekbone. I shiver slightly and simply step closer to him. I tighten my grip on him and bury my face in the crook of his neck. He hesitates for a moment and then places a comforting hand on the back of my head. He strokes my hair gently and sways me from side to side.

"I thought you said you weren't good at dealing with sad birds." I mumble in to his neck.

He chuckles, "I'm not, but like I said-yer different. Remember?"

"Oh yea, sure."

"It's true."

"I really don't want to go back."

"I know."

"John?"

"Yea?"

"I'm really gonna miss you."

He hugs me tighter to him and whispers in my ear, "I know. I'm gonna miss ye too, Sadie. I am."

"Thank you."

He laughs and I join in halfheartedly. "Ye know what, Sadie? Yer welcome." My smile returns to my face just as a fast paced rock and roll song comes on.

"Come, my angel face, let us enjoy our last night!" John exclaims, grabbing my hands and pulling me deeper onto the dance floor. I can feel the blood drain from my face as I recognize one of the people John tugs me past. My heart begins racing when I realize that Prudence Mulroney just witnessed my little moment with John. She is standing in the middle of the floor, arms crossed, eyebrow raised. I let my hands drop to my sides, falling from John's grasp. He keeps going for a few seconds before whirling around in confusion. I approach Prudence warily. She is smirking like she knows something I don't. "Look. Prudence-"

The elfish girl holds a hand up to my face, cutting me off. "Shut it _angel face,_" she mocks amused by my panic.

"But it's not like that-"

"Does it look like I care? 'Ow did ye get in 'ere?" she snaps.

"John let me in." I hate how small my voice sounds, even to myself.

"What'd you have to do for him to get him to let you in?"

"Nothing. We-"

"Ms. Parkhurst is gonna love me for this. And ye know what? I think Ms. Kollins will absolutely love this as well. Don' ye think she'll find this…interesting?" I can tell from that cocky, harsh smirk that she knows exactly what this could mean for me. And that she knows exactly why I would fear Ms. Kollins finding out I got into trouble.

"You fucking bitch! I can't believe you! How could you be that heartless? You know exactly what she does to me and you find it amusing? You can go to hell, Prudence!" I scream at her. My anger at her has never been revealed until now. And I've never sworn anything like that, either, well besides that once at John. As soon as the words leave my mouth, I already feel a little calmer. With a death glare, I shove past her and head for the door I came in. I don't look back once until I feel the cool night air whip against my face.

I hug my arms to my chest shaking. The door opens and shuts behind me. A coat is draped over my shoulders. The smoke of a cigarette tickles my nose and I glance over to see John standing beside me.

"That was pretty impressive. Didn' know ye could actually swear, luv. Well, least at someone other than me," he teases lightly, trying to break the tension. It doesn't work and I have a feeling that he knew it wouldn't.

"Sadie? What did ye mean? When ye said 'ye know exactly what she does to me'," he asks quietly, approaching me carefully. He takes another drag of his cigarette. I focus on the little orange glow on the tip of it instead of answering. He flicks the bud to the ground and scrapes it out with the bottom of his shoe. He places two fingers under my chin and tilts my head up. He grabs my hand and asks me again what I meant. I really don't want to tell him this. Knowing I can't avoid his gaze any longer, I glance up. His eyes aren't on mine though. He is looking down at my wrist. He traces a finger over a small scar on the inside of my wrist. "What's this, luv?"

My eyes betray me by gazing at the discarded cigarette on the ground at our feet. He looks at it then back at me. "Sadie? What is this?" he repeats. There is some emotion in his voice that I can't quite place. "It's-it's nothing," I murmur in a tiny voice.

"Don' give me that! Is that a burn mark?" he questions in a shaky voice. I answer with a slow yes.

"Did she-is this what ye meant? Is this what…"

"Yea." My answer is nearly inaudible to myself so I nod instead. I risk a peek at his face and watch it go through a range of emotions. Finally it seems to settle on anger. At least he figured it out on his own. That means I don't have to tell him myself.

"How can someone do that! That's not right!" he yells, backing away from me gradually. I shake my head and try to calm him down. "Shh, it's okay. I'm used to it."

"No, Sadie, it's not okay! Ye shouldn' 'ave ter be used ter that!" he argues.

"Don't worry about me, I can deal with it. With her. I have for nearly seven years. It's nothing new." My words don't make him happier but he does calm down a bit.

"I'm so sorry ye 'ave ter-" he breaks off. I don't know why this is affecting him so much.

I ignore him and say, "Just forget about it. You weren't even supposed to find out."

He shakes his head and lets out a troubled sigh. It makes me sad to bring it up but I have to say, "John, it's almost midnight. I have to go."

Wordlessly, he eliminates the few feet between us and engulfs me in a tight hug. "I'm gonna miss ye," he admits.

Once I get over my shock of him hugging me I sigh, "I'll miss you, too." When he pulls away from me, he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear again and says, "Sadie-if ye ever-I'll be 'ere for ye. Any time ye need me. Any time at all. Alright?"

I nod, smiling a sad smile. I kiss his cheek just as Lucy, Paul, and George come out the door. We all exchange hugs and good-byes. I kiss each boy on the cheek, John and I laughing when it causes Georgie to blush yet again. And though I'm sure Lucy's sad right now, I know it's not hurting her to leave them, unlike me.

I link arms with Lucy and we begin walking down the alley. Once we reach the sidewalk, Lucy rushes ahead, distracted by a gorgeous dress in the window of a shop. I come to a halt when I hear a voice call my name. I spin on my heel to see John running toward me. He reaches me, panting and mumbling something about smoking. He slips a piece of crumpled paper into my hand. I wrinkle my eyebrows in confusion.

"If ye ever need me…" he says softly. I grin happily. "Thanks John. That's sweet."

His expression hardens, "'Ey now, don' be goin' an' tellin' nobody that. I can' 'ave people thinkin' I'm sweet, can I?" John shivers at the word. Then a sly smirk creeps onto his face, "An' if ye do tell someone, I might 'ave ter make ye kiss me again."

Laughter escapes from my mouth before I can stop it. I kiss his cheek and giggle, "Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me."

"Thank ye my angel face."

I point a finger at him threateningly. "Keep calling me that and I tell the whole of Liverpool you're the sweetest boy I've ever met."

He nods, "Alright, alright." John leans in and kisses my cheek. "Catch ye 'round my angel face." With that, he meets my eye for a split second, and then he runs back down the street before I can react. Rolling my eyes, I snatch Lucy's arm and start dragging her away from the dress. She has her face and hands pressed up against the glass, admiring it.

Just as we get back to the hotel for the final time, I hear the clock in the distance strike midnight. Its last gong seems to signal the end of my newfound freedom, coming to an end so soon after I finally had it in my grasp.

**AN: ****Okay so I have a bunch more chapters written out but I'm still trying to figure out what to write for chapter 8 so please be patient if it takes a little bit. ive also got a bunch of projects due soon and on top of that im training my friend's horse and like three others...just saying**


	8. Dear Prudence

_**So the other day I had a really bad day. A bunch of my friends were fighting and I left half my homework at home and got in trouble for it. Plus on the way home my bus ran over a dog. Pretty crappy day, right? Anyway, I get home, all frustrated and turn on my computer. I go to work on this story and I totally spazzed. After having my it posted for one day i had 3 reviews! I wasn't even expecting any. That means there are people out there that read my story and liked it! YEEEAAAHHHH!:) Sorry, I had a really bad day and that made me happy. So to the people who reviewed it, I thank you very, very much. I would give you all hugs but since I don't know you that would be really awkward...But thanks anyway! **_

_**This chapter isn't my best cuz I didn't know what to write. Some of the characters' actions may seem unrealistic, but it actually happened to me once. Well some of it did. You'll understand what I'm saying when you read it. **_

_**DISCLAIMER: umm if i owned the beatles i wouldnt be writing about them on fanfiction would I? i'd be staring at them and drooling, thinking, 'oh my God! I own the freakin' beatles!' (i wish)**_

_Chapter Eight_

_Dear Prudence_

Lucy hugs me from behind while I zip up my suitcase. I shake her off and ask why she's hugging me. I drop my bag on the floor and slip on my shoes.

She shrugs, "I had fun."

"Will we still be friends when we get back to London?" I ask suddenly. The blond looks at me like I have three heads. "Of course, why wouldn't we be?" she exclaims. Grinning, I brush my hair out of my face. "Ready to go downstairs?"

"No. You?"

"Not at all."

Despite the fact that we said we weren't ready, we actually were sadly. I pick up my bag of the floor and wait for Lucy to get hers. Reluctantly, she grabs it and trails after me as I head down the hall. I won't miss the tacky wall paper and paintings, that's for sure. Just as we round the corner to the staircase, a boy comes running up. Seeing each other too late, we collide. We're both knocked to the floor. He apologizes a million times as he helps me up. He hands me my bag and picks up my sketchbook. He folds the pages back over to the cover and then hands it to me. I can't figure out why but he looks kind of familiar. I shrug it off when he apologizes yet again, "I'm real sorry, Miss. Truly." I shake my head, "It's fine, really. Happens all the time." Well, that parts true, but usually in my case it involves me running into a wall or another inanimate object. He walks away, flustered and Lucy and I continue down the stairs.

Lucy and I are some of the first few girls to get to the dining hall. My heart skips a beat when I see Prudence talking animatedly with her friends. Lucy looks at me worriedly when I fall back onto one of the booth seats. She sits across from me. I groan. How could I have forgotten about Prudence?

"What's wrong?" Lucy asks curiously.

"Prudence."

"Well, I know she's annoying but she hasn't actually done anything this morning."

"No, no. Last night."

"Huh?"

I take a deep breath and lean closer to her over the table. "Last night she was at the Cavern."

Lucy gasps, her face paling. "Oh my God. Did she see us!"

"Um, well…"

"Oh no! Well wait, she won't be able to tell anyone right? Not without giving away that she was there herself," Lucy reasons.

"Well, yea, I wasn't really worried about that. I'm afraid she'll make something up about…" I trail off not wanting to think about it.

She eyes me suspiciously, "About what?"

"John." I answer in a small voice.

"Oh God, what 'appened?"

Blushing, I quietly explain, "Well, once they were done playing, John came down and we started dancing together. You and Georgie went by and then I saw some girl flirting with Paul at the bar. It was Prudence. She didn't see me then and I honestly thought she left after that."

"But she didn', right?"

"No. Remember when they played that really slow song? Well she must've been standing right next to us. John and I were talking and she overheard, I guess."

"What were ye talkin' about?"  
"I was saying how I was going to miss him and stuff, but that's not what I'm worried about. I'm afraid she might've taken something the wrong way. She heard him call me his angel face."

"His _angel face_?" she smirks slightly.

I glare at her and continue, "Yea, he calls me that because he knows it bothers me. It's just a joke. But what if Prudence thinks it means we got together or something. She accused me of it."

Lucy seems to think this over thoroughly. "I think you'll be fine. I mean she has no proof. That and she saw this at the Cavern, a place none of us should've been in the first place so she'd just get herself in trouble."

"Yea but she could always make something up. I mean honestly, who do you think Ms. Parkhurst is more likely to believe? The cheerleading class president or the troubled orphan? The odds aren't exactly in my favor," I point out glumly, stirring the cup of tea Lucy got me. I shove it away, "I don't even like tea."

"She might not even say anything, you never know."

"I called her a fucking bitch and told her to go to hell. I highly doubt she doesn't want revenge."

"Oh. Well that sorta changes things, um…"

"Alrighty girls, listen here!" a rather chipper voice announces. Ms. Parkhurst smiles warmly at us, "Well good morning. I trust that you all had a great time in Liverpool, however, we must be heading back. I'm sure all your families are missing you." She only realizes what she says when she catches my eye. The gray haired woman continues on hurriedly. "I have all your tickets in my folder here and I will hand them out at the train station. I don't want to risk having any of you lose yours on the way there. Once we finish our breakfasts, we will be walking down to the station. And I don't want any grumbling from any of you, alright?"

She receives an uncaring collection of mumbles from the group and returns to her table with the other chaperones.

I realize I probably should've just kept my mouth shut because now Lucy is practically having a panic attack. "Oh my God, oh my God, we are soooo dead, Sadie! My parents will kill me if Ms. Parkhurst doesn't beat them to it."

"Oh relax, it's not that bad. Besides, she only saw me, she has no idea you were there. You'll be fine. And I'd most likely get in trouble for something else anyway so I guess it's alright," I reassure her. She nods while stirring her tea absently with a spoon. "Luce, it'll be fine."

"Alright, alright. Do you want anything else?" she asks, getting up, taking our dishes again. I shake my head and stare out the window. A few people rush past the hotel, briefcases in hand, checking their watches. I shake my head at them. Why waste your time doing something that makes you miserable?

I probably would've gone gazing out that window for awhile had it not been for someone standing in the way. Prudence smiles evilly down at me. I shrink back into my booth. "Prudence," I greet quietly. She raises an eyebrow at me but then simply walks away. Umm, okay. That was weird. Oh well. Lucy comes rushing back to our booth.

"Oh my gosh, what was that?"

I shrug, not really sure and just forget about it. Lucy still looks really anxious and I now I know I shouldn't have mentioned anything from last night. Hopefully she'll calm down soon or she'll start putting me on edge too.

"Alrighty girls! Listen up! I want you to finish up and gather outside. Be prepared, make sure you've got everything," Ms. Parkhurst directs. All at once, everyone in the dining hall starts moving and talking. Our teacher tries to shush us, but the excitement of the girls over powers her. She and the other chaperones begin to usher us out the door. I smile beside Lucy when I step outside and the sun hits my face.

I see a guitar shaped cloud and giggle under my breath. Lucy shoots me a look but doesn't say anything. I swing my bag over my shoulder and follow along in the back of our group. Lucy nudges me with her elbows and I look in the direction she's pointing in. John's in a guitar shop arguing about something with what appears to be a salesman. Typical. He glances up and meets my gaze. He cracks a wide smile and nods at me. I send him a minuscule wave. I see him mouth something at me and it takes a few seconds before I realize that he must've said, "Bye my angel face." I glare at him and I see him laugh, causing the worker to look at him with a strange expression. I chuckle and smile at him one last time before we pass the shop completely.

I really am going to miss him, why even bother denying it? He's the closest thing I've had to a friend in who knows how long. Though I'm sad leaving this place behind, something in my gut tells me this city hasn't seen the last of me. And even if it's just a feeling, it still makes me feel better as I follow Lucy down the platfrm to our train. I wait patiently as she goes to get our tickets from Ms. Parkhurst. The bubbly blond returns with a frown. "We're on different cars," she pouts. I shrug though I am disappointed as well. Then again, if I can't sit with Lucy, maybe I'll get lucky like before and be alone. Well at least the way I was before the boys showed up. One could only hope.

The train screeches to a stop a few feet from us and our teacher's voice can be heard, but the words are incomprehensible over the whistle of the train. I bid Lucy a temporary good-bye and climb up the stairs to the car that's listed in my ticket. A kind, gray haired man punches my ticket and gestures to the general area of the car. I find an empty box which is surprising because the others are mostly full. I immediately pull out my sketchbook and toss it onto the bench next to me. I close my eyes and take deep breaths while the train slowly lurches away from the station. I must've nearly fallen asleep because I jump awake in fright when the door to my box is slid open. I look up to find a shocked Prudence. Then she recovers, sneering, "So no one wanted to sit with the freak then?"

Quite calmly for me, I answer, "No, actually, the freak didn't want to sit with them."

She wrinkles her eyebrows in confusion for a second, surprised I spoke back. Still calm, I wave my hand to the seat across from me, "You can sit here if you want, my freakishness isn't contagious, promise." Her mean expression falters as she sets her bags down and takes a seat across from me. The girl looks rather uncomfortable. From the corners of my eyes I can see her shifting around and playing with her skirt. Ignoring her for awhile, I pull out my sketchbook and flip to a blank page. Putting an extra pencil behind my ear, as always, I begin my sketch. Not liking it, I simply skip to another blank page. Waiting for inspiration to hit, I glance up from my book to Prudence. The black haired girl is staring out the window with a thoughtful face. Shrugging, I begin to sketch. It doesn't take more than ten minutes and a few quick peeks at the girl before you can easily tell who the girl in the drawing is. I do a bit of shading but in this particular sketch, less is more. I jump, startled by her, yet again, when she catches me looking at her and exclaims, "What are you looking at?"

Sheepish, I offer a quiet apology. I blend in one more line before I timidly hold it out to her. She doesn't notice it for a second, but then she shoots me a strange look. Sighing, she takes my sketchbook and examines it boredly. Her mouth slowly drops when she really takes a good look at it. "You drew this?"

Nodding, I answer, "Sorry, I had nothing else to draw. I was just-"

"No, this is amazing. How do you do this?" she asks in wonder, taking her time to go through every drawing.

I shrug, "I'm not really sure. I think my mom taught me how to draw. Couldn't have been my dad because he was the musical parent."

She seems to pause as I say this. Her eyes grow a sad look in them. "Um, Sadie?"

"Yea?"

"Look, I'm really sorry about all the crap I've done and said to you. I was really only trying to get people to like me. I didn't really want to hurt you." See the problem is that she sounds sincere but how am I supposed to trust her? I mean really? "I know you must think I'm a terrible person, but I really am sorry."

"Yea, well last night there was no one there for you to impress, so what was the point?" I let some of my bitterness towards her slip out.

"I don't know what came over me. I want to be a good person, but I don't know how to be without seeming lame. And I was jealous of you and that guy. I want what you two have but everyone hates me, so how can I?" she admits slowly.

"What do you mean, Prudence? We don't _have_ anything."

"Oh come on, you're obviously dating, or had some kind of thing."

I shake my head, "No, we don't. I met him on the train ride up here. We just became friends, that's all."

"Really? But he called you his-"

"Angel face? Yea I know," I interrupt, annoyed by the name. "He's always gotta be teasing someone and he calls me that because he knows it annoys me. That's all he meant by it. I swear."

"Really? Oh, well great, now I feel like an even worse person than I'm sure I already am."

"How come you're trying to be all nice now when you were so mean before? What changed overnight?"

She sighs greatly, "Well I thought about what you said last night and realized you were right. I never meant anything by that comment, I was just angry. And as for why I'm trying to be nice, I don't really know. My parents told me right before I left for the trip that we were moving here in about a month. I guess when you went off on me it made me want to end things right. So I'm sorry for everything I've ever done to you. I just don't want to be remembered as the bitch everyone hated when I leave. I'm going to try to apologize for the stuff I've done to people, at least a lot of it. I've been wanting to do that for awhile. There's just a lot of pressure coming from the girls to be mean and I'm kind of sick of it."

"Um, wow. Okay then. Well, you're forgiven," I say, taking my sketchbook. She looks taken aback, "Really? You're forgiving me that easily?"

I nod, "Life's too short for fussing and fighting. We can work it out and we did. Now you've just gotta do the same to other people and learn that for yourself."

"Why did I have to be so mean to you? We could've been great friends!" cries Prudence, burying her face in her hands. I comfort her, telling her it's okay, that I'm fine and she should be grateful that at least we got past our differences. Prudence gazes over at me, "You're right. Life is too short for all this crap I've delt with. I'm going to live by that rule when I move to Liverpool. Get all this out of my system. Thanks Sadie, you really are a good person."

I smile happily. And the fact that those words came from Prudence just make me that much happier about them. For the next half hour, Prudence tells me all about her week in Liverpool. She sounds disappointed that a lot of her time was wasted with the other girls' obsessions with shopping.

"So how do feel about leaving London?" I ask, finding myself wishing I could do the same.

Prudence thinks this over for a minute. "Well, I was really mad about it for awhile, I refused to talk to my parents for a bit. I didn't want to leave, I mean London's all I've ever known. But now, now I think I'm okay with it."

"What made you change your mind?"

"Um, well, you did actually," she admits slowly. She looks to see my reaction.

"Huh? What do I have to do with it?"

"Well, I realized how selfish I was being. I mean, I was upset about moving a few hours away, and, well I mean, you-you had to leave behind everything. I know that you lost your parents. And your home in America. I figured if you could deal with that, then I could deal with moving." I avoid her gaze for a little while before turning to her. Quietly, I murmur, "And Jesse." It wasn't really meant for her to hear, but she does anyway. "Who?"

"Jesse. My brother. I lost him, too," I add painfully.

Her eyes grow wide. "You had a brother?"

"Yep. We were like twins. Best friends."

She sighs. "Don't you ever get mad? I mean, what happened wasn't fair. How are you this okay with it?"

My eyes fly to her face, "I will _never_ be okay with what happened. And of course I get mad, I just understand that the past is the past and there's no way to change it. That doesn't mean it doesn't upset me."

Her brown eyes grow sad. She runs a hand through her dark hair. "I can't believe how mean I was to you. After all that, and then me-"

Shaking my head, I cut her off, "No, I'm used to having a crappy life. It's okay. Just please don't do it again." This earns a small smile from her and she promises not to.

"So can we move on to a better topic?" I wonder hopefully. She laughs, "Yea, I think we should. So, tell me about what it's like to be someone's angel face."

She continues to laugh when I groan and bury my face in my hands. My cheeks heat up in embarassment. "Come on, really? I thought I explained that!" The girl pulls my hands away from my face. "Sadie, relax. I'm only joking. Besides, I wouldn't exactly mind it if a guy like him called me his angel face, whether he meant it or not." I raise an eyebrow, "Well I guess that's one major way we differ." Prudence nods in agreement. "Seriously, though, he was cute. And he's in a band." I nod, "Yea, I'm aware. But really, we're just friends."

"Fine then, I have a go at him when I get to Liverpool then," she smirks, waiting for my reaction. I blush when I realize I made a small noise of protest. She grins evilly and cries, "So you do like him!"

"You're a mean person," I pout, not really meaning the words, well not anymore at least. "Don't worry, I won't. I wouldn't mind seeing that friend of his again, though," she adds truthfully, blushing slightly.

"You mean Paulie?" I blurt before thinking.

She blushes deeper, shaking her head. "The other one." Who could she mean then? Wait-"You mean Georgie!" I . Now it's her turn to be embarrassed. "His name is Georgie?" she asks curiously. I nod, "Well, it's really just George. Only we call him that. They are all about nicknames, those boys." Then, I point and chuckle, "Haha, you like Georgie." She frowns, "Oh shut it, Sadie!" Ignoring her, I giggle, "Hehehe." When my laughter comes to an end, I ask, "Wait. Aren't you like 17? Georgie's only 15."

She fiddles with her skirt. "Um, actually awhile back I switched schools." I wait for her to continue, confused. "I skipped two years. I'm really only 15. Don't tell anyone though. They have no idea. Please keep it quiet."

I am slightly taken aback. The only I can think to say is, "I got bullied by an 10 year old when I was 12?" A loud laugh escapes from her lips. "I'm even more pathetic than I thought. Damn." That earns more laughter. I join in too.

"Um, don't you have to be insanely smart to skip years?" I question when we stop laughing. She nods, smiling, "Top of our school, I am." Then her face falls, "Oh no, that was totally bragging, wasn't it?"

Smiling, I shake my head again. "No, I think that was you being proud of yourself." The girl positively beams at me. "Thanks."

"No problem." And it isn't. I really like this Prudence. I hope she sticks around for awhile. I pull my knees up to my chest and look out the window. Every second this train moves, the farther I'm getting from heaven and the closer I'm getting to hell. I sigh and turn back to Prudence. She is looking through my sketchbook again. She pauses on the one of John and Paul. "You are really, really good, you know. I mean, this looks exactly like the two of them. What do you think you're going to do with your art?"

I'd never thought that far ahead honestly. And I tell her that. "I haven't given much thought to the future. At least not anything after I turn 18. I'm just hoping for then."

"What do you mean? What's with turning 18?"

"It's when I can get the hell out of that awful home. I don't care if I live on the street after that. It would still be better than there," I say in disgust without thinking. I realize the words were a mistake when Prudence tilts her head and asks, "What's that bad about it that makes you say that?"

My answer is simple. "Everything."

"Look, I'm really sorry about what I said to you last night. I was just really mad and, well, I do know what she does. To you, I mean." She takes her time saying this in order to pick the right words. I look up at her, "I don't know what you mean." She rolls her eyes, "Yes you do. I know Sadie. And I wish I could do something to change it." I shake my head, "How? How do you know?"

"Well, you come into school everyday with bruises, you flinch if anyone gets to close. I mean, I didn't really know for sure back then. But then..."

"What?"

"Don't hate me. I was leaving the club and I kind of overheard you and that guy. Again."

"Were we ever alone?" I wonder, somewhat frustrated that every time I seemed to have a private moment with John someone had been watching. She plays with her skirt sheepishly, "Sorry. I was walking away, but you looked really upset. I was going to apologize but then he came out and you two started talking. I just left as soon as all the others came out. There was no way I was going to walk up in front of that many people."

"Lemme guess, especially when one of the people was Georgie, right?" I tease causing her to blush. I think John's behaviour rubbed of on me a lot more than I had thought because now I find it kind of funny to make people uncomfortable, especially when they get really squirmy and unsure of how to react. That sounds really mean and/or weird but I think you can understand it, right? Don't worry, I'll never be as bad as him, promise. "Oh stop. Least I'm not someone's angel face," she giggles. I raise my eyebrows, "I am not the one who admitted they wished they were someone's angel face. Therefore you can't tease me about that." She nods, "Touche." I smiling, knowing I won.

She picks up my sketchbok and hands it back to me. Both our eyes immediatly the piece of paper that falls onto the orange carpeted floor. Prudence snatches it up before I even move. With my permission, she takes a peek at it. It takes her a moment or two to read one side of it before she lets loose a girlish squeal. Then she cries, "He wrote you a poem!"

She gives me the paper and I scan it over and instantly recognize John's handwriting. I read it over. It's titled to me:

_To my angel face,_

I scowl at the nickname. Typical John. I read on.

_Any time at all, any time at all, any time at all , all_  
_you've gotta do is call and I'll be there._  
_If you need somebody to love, just look into my eyes, I'll_  
_be there to make you feel right._  
_If you're feeling sorry and sad, I'd really sympathize._  
_Don't you be sad, just call me tonight._  
_Any time at all, any time at all, any time at all , all_  
_you've gotta do is call and I'll be there._  
_If the sun has faded away, I'll try to make it shine,_  
_there's nothing I won't do_  
_If you need a shoulder to cry on I hope it will be mine._  
_Call me tonight, and I'll come to you._  
_Any time at all, any time at all, any time at all , all_  
_you've gotta do is call and I'll be there._  
_Any time at all, all you've gotta do is call and I'll be there._

Halfway through I realize something. "This isn't a poem. This is a song," I murmur to myself. Prudence asks me what I said, not hearing me. "It's not a poem. He-he wrote me a song." I look up from the paper to meet her gaze, a little stunned that I meant enough to him that he wrote me a song. "That's so sweet!" Prudence cooes. Confused, I say, "I know." He's just so not...well, sweet. "Wait. There's something on the back. What's it say?"

I flip the paper over enough and sure enough there is more writing.

_Any time you need someone, just find me. And don't you dare_  
_tell a soul I wrote this. I'd be laughed all the way out of Liverpool if _  
_anyone ever finds out I wrote this. Especially since I actually mean _  
_it. Much as I wish you don't, I have to admit that I think you actually_  
_mean something to me. You should be honored (kidding, kidding). _  
_I really do want to see you again though. _  
_So, till then my angel face,_  
_John_  
_P.S. Paul told me to ask you if you would say _  
_goodbye to Lucy for him. Stupid git._

I beam when I'm finished reading the little note. He actually wants to see me again. You can tell by some of his words that he isn't exactly the best at expressing his feelings though. But I knew that already. I decide not to tell Prudence what it really says. I just tell her that he said goodbye. Now what I'm wondering is how he managed to get that in my book when I didn't have it with me. The more I think about it, the more curious I get. He wouldn't have had time, this doesn't make sense. Then I remember what he said about how it was inhumanbehaviour to get up before noon. So why would he have been at the guitar shop at eight this morning. Wait, the guitar shop down the street. From my hotel. Now I get it. The guy that ran into me today. The worker. I knew I had seen him before. He was one of the people John knew from the club. When my book fell, he was the one to pick it up. He even flipped through some of the pages. He could've easily put it in then. John must've shown up to ask him to get it to me. I smile. I really do mean something to him.

The train suddenly comes to a stop and I realize we are back in London. Upon this realization, I instantly feel sick to my stomach. I really wish I didn't have to go back. As Prudence gathers her stuff I can't help but think that even though we sort of bonded over the ride, she won't treat me any different in front of her so called friends. Oh well. I trail after her and make my way down the aisle and out the train. Being the only ones from our school on that car, we are alone on the platform for awhile. Without warning, Prudence spins around and throws her arms around my neck. Shocked, I hug her back. I see Lucy get of the train just then and her mouth falls to the floor, eyes wide as saucers. When Prudence releases me, she says, "Thank you, Sadie. For everything." I nod, not entirely sure what she means by that. "So you'll come visit me in Liverpool?" she questions, seeming hopeful. "Um, if you want me to, sure." I respond slowly, kind of shocked. She smiles brightly at that.

Lucy walks up to us, "Hey Sadie." She sounds wary with Prudence there, but I understand her. "Hi Luce. Paul says bye." I show her the back of the note and laugh when she blushes a deep red. I smile, feeling accomplished. "You're as bad as him," she whines like a little kid. I keep smiling. On our walk back to the school, I tear out the sketch of Prudence. On the bottom I write a title. _Dear Prudence. _When she isn't paying attention, I sneak it into her bag.

The three of us part our ways once we reach the school. I take my sweet time getting back to the orphanage. I heave a great sigh when it comes into sight. My mood brightens when I see little Annie running toward me. The mood vanishes the instant I register the look of fear on her face.

**_So its not the greatest but i had no idea what to write for this one, or the next chap either. so ik the prudences change of heart might seem unrealistic but most of what she said happened to me once. this girl ik realized how mean she was, apologized, and now she's one of my best friends. even if you people who read my story dont like it, i want to at least thank you for reading it. it really makes me happy:)_**


	9. Get Back

**_HHEEEEYYYY! Hi people, sorry, got a little too excited there. Okay first things first... The people who reviewed my story, you are all my new best friends!. I mean it. You guys have no idea how happy they make me feel:) especially with all the crap my friend and i have been going through lately. anyway, this chapter isn't fantastic either. just another filler, truthfully. I promise, no, swear that the next few after this will be better(obviously, i mean they'll have john in them). So again, thank you, thank you, thank you to the people who've read my story, and imaginary bearhugs to the people who went the extra step and wrote a review:) those reviews make my life(well, so do horses, but reviews are always appreciated too) _**

**_A/N: um so this chapter is totally unedited because i just wanted to get it out. i'll go back and fix it later, promise._**

_**DISCLAIMER: umm if i owned the beatles i wouldnt be writing about them on fanfiction would I? i'd be staring at them and drooling, thinking, 'oh my God! I own the freakin' beatles!' (i wish)**_

_Chapter Nine_

_Get Back_

My heart begins racing when all the possible causes of her fear flit across my mind. I crouch down with arms wide open. Annie attacks me with a fierce hug. "Annie, what's wrong?" I ask frantically, still crouched in front of her. The worst ideas are running through my head while I anxiously await her answer. The little girl pulls away from me and looks up at me with her innocent eyes. Thankfully they no longer have such a panicked gleam to them. She shudders before she chokes out, "Martha tried to make me wear a pink shirt again." **(AN: haha sorry if you were expecting something serious. i put this in cuz the same thing happened to my mom with me. she came to pick me up from day care when i was like three and freaked when i looked terrified. some kid tried to make me wear something with pink on it) **

I take the young girl back into my arms with such a force that it makes me fall over, bringing her with me. I'm so relieved that I don't know whether to laugh or cry so I sort of do a combination of the two. Annie giggles though I'm sure she doesn't know why. Laughing keeps me distracted from all of the other things she could've been frightened about. I feel so dumb. All of my panic was wasted over her fear of the color pink! How absurd. A weight is lifted off my shoulders though; a burden I thought I might have to carry now gone. I hold Annie close, glad she's okay. "Annie, don't do that, okay?" She nods enthusiastically though I'm sure she has no idea what she's agreeing to.

Satisfied that nothing is wrong, I pull Annie and myself to our feet. Smiling up at me, she tells me how much she's missed me. I feel guilty for having forgotten about her once or twice while I was away. Taking my hand, she leads me up the walkway. She doesn't stop talking until a tall figure appears in the doorway. "I see you're finally back. Good. The buildings a mess. I want it spotless in half an hour. And I think I want chicken for dinner. And some of that fabulous tea you found the other day. I expect to have it in my room before six. Oh, and no dinner for you tonight. You haven't been here in a week, therefore you've done nothing to earn it." Her sharp voice grates against my ears. I really did not miss this woman. She tucks her purse under her arm and shoves past me. I bite my tongue, keeping back some harsh words made colorful by the vocabulary John taught me. I have to remind myself that it will only make things so much worse.

Throughout Ms. Kollins' demands, Annie remained quiet, hiding behind my legs. The usually bubbly personality she has returns as soon as the caretaker is out of sight. She tugs my hand and I follow her inside. Many of the other girlspause to wave or offer a small smile. I return whatever's sent and let the little girl guide me to her room. Ms. Kollins had been right. This place is a mess. Halfway up the stairs I stop the small brunette. She looks up at me curiously. "I gotta go clean, hon. I'll be up as soon as I can. Promise," I say truthfully. She frowns, "Will you at least tell me a story?" She seems to accept that because she rushes off. Sighing, I march off in search of a mop.

Very annoyed, I begin the tedious job of cleaning the building. I start in the main hallway where you first walk in. The mud tracks and dust seem to laugh at me. In defeat, I start mopping, humming one of John's songs. A few minutes later another girl comes up to me. Having just turned 17 less than three weeks ago, I'm the oldest girl here. The next oldest girl is 15, and that's Pam. Shyly, Pam picks up a broom and starts sweeping.

"Thanks," I offer after a few moments of silence. I figure she must want something in return because no one ever helps me just for the sake of being kind. She proves me right by asking, "Hey Sadie. Do you mind if I ask you something?"

"Didn't really give me a choice, did you? Anyway, sure."

She blushes slightly before saying, "Oh yea, sorry. So, well, what was it like?" Her young face looks expectant. I raise an eyebrow signaling for her to elaborate. "What was it like? To get away from here?"

Her question suddenly makes much more sense. "Oh. For me, well, it was amazing. As I think about Lucy, Prudence, the freedom I had, and, well, John, I realize that amazing doesn't do it justice. Especially when you consider the fact that it all happened to me. The girl who's life had nothing good happening in it. "I've never had so much fun. The freedom from being away from here. It's so great. But when it ends-when you have to come back and reality hits you. Well, then it's just so much worse to come back."

Pam thinks about my words, a dreamy look on her still innocent face. "I wish I could get out of here, too. But no one ever seems to want a 15 year old."

"Ha. You think no one wants _you_? I'm 17. Who do you thinks possibly going to want me? You at least still have a chance. Not me," I laugh. The strawberry blond shrugs, "I guess." I clap her on the back. "Aw, cheer up! I'm sure you'll be out of here soon!" She shrugs again.

"Anyway, so what did you do in Liverpool? Anything fun?"

I smile widely, earning a strange look from Pam. I realize this must be because none of the girls here have really ever seen me smile, let alone looking genuinely happy. "Help me clean and I tell you every little detail." Eagerly, she begins sweeping again. Smiling, I start with, "It involves boys." Pam's eyes grow wide. Being in a home for just girls and going to an all grils school meant that none of us really spent much time with boys. I know that this will just make her more interested. She's so in awe that she stops cleaning for a second. "Keep cleaning or I won't tell you a thing. Good. Well, I started out sitting alone in my box until these three boys end up with me..." I tell her the rest of the story as we work on everything. I leave out some parts, such as the conversation John and I had about our pasts and of course I left out the part where he kissed me. That I don't think I'll ever share with anyone. Not for awhile at least. At last, we finish cleaning just as I finish my story. I collapse onto the floor, landing in a sitting position. Pam sits on a nearby stool and sighs, "I can't believe you have to do all that by yourself everyday. How do you do it?"

Shrugging, I reply, "I don't know. I guess I'm just used to it." Pam looks upset, "I'd help you if she didn't get so mad."

I shake my head, "No, it's alright." She sighs again, but this time in envy, "I wish I could've gone on that trip. It sounds like so much fun. And you met boys! And they sound really gear. And they're musicians." I chuckle at her girlishness. "I know, they were great."

"I bet you miss them, huh?" she figures. She's right. I haven't even been back in London more than two hours and I already miss them. "Yea, I do. Anyway, I better get started making dinner. See you later."

Pam heads off toward her room while I make my way to the kitchen. I wonder how any of the girls got fed this past week without me here. Getting back into my routine, I search the cupboards to see what we have. Basically nothing, like usual. I finally find some chicken and some vegetables. I figure they'll just have to deal with it. It's not like there are any other options. I just put the chicken on when I hear the front door banged open. i take a deep breath to control my nerves, hearing Ms. Kollins calling for me. Knowing that something would've had to happen soner or later, I walk to her office. She is waiting for me, standing behind her desk. Her beady eyes scan over me, like a predator analyzing its unfortunate prey. She approaches me slowly. "Don't worry, I won't do anything. Not now at least. I do however have to inform you of something, though. It seems as though the food expenses have been awfully high lately. And to offset it, I don't want you eating anything. Not till I tell you to."

Having spent so much time with those back talking boys, I forget to keep my mouth shut. I say, "But me not eating won't offset that. Not in the slightest."

My eyes grow wide when I realize what I've done. Her twisted smirk is gone and she advances on me without missing a beat, "What did you say to me!" I bite my tongue. She shakes her head. I don't even see what's happening until her hand meets my face. On the same side she hit me just before I left no less. She shoves me against the wall and my head collides painfully with it. "Don't you ever talk back to me, girl. And if you do, well, I suppose I could always let you eat." I let a confused face slip past my defenses and she adds, "Yes. You get to eat while little Annie takes the fall. I'm sure she'll be fine with no food. But if you behave we won't have to find out, will we?" I nod wordlessly. It's one thing when she messes with me, but I hate it when she threatens Annie. I try to keep her as far away from this as I can. I don't want the life I've had to be passed onto Annie. Ms. Kollins knows this all too well and uses it whenever she can. "Now bring me my dinner. Get going!" she snaps. I flee from her office, glad to get out.

Tiredly and with an aching face, I climb the stairs and knock on Annie's door. Suzie, the little girl that shares the room with Annie, opens the door. She smiles shyly when she sees me. Annie greets me happily. The two five year olds scramble onto Annie's bed. They wait eagerly for a story. What story will I possibly tell them? They look up at me eagerly but all I can do is collapse onto their bed. They lay down on either side of me, snuggling up close.

"Sadie? Will you tell us a story? Please?" Annie begs from beside me.

"I don't think I can, hon," I yawn, my eyelids growing heavy already. Sure it's barely 8:00pm, but the weight of this place has already returned to my shoulders. And they are sore. Very, very sore already.

"Annie?" I whisper in a small voice. The little girl asks, "Yea?" Nearly asleep, I wonder, "Do you think you could tell me a story tonight?"

All I remember before I fall into a much needed night's sleep are the words, _Once upon a time..._

* * *

I wake up the next morning, those words still in my mind. When I was little I used to find them so magical, but now, well they aren't. To me, all that fairytale lingo is just that. A fairytale. So far life had shown me that there aren't happily ever after endings. Not that I ever thought of them before then. It seems to me that my life has ended up more like a Brothers Grimm story than a fairytale. Only in the Brothers Grimm versions of the fairytales do all the important characters die. _Okay, bad way to start the day off, Sadie, stop being so depressing, _I scold myself. Stiffly, I sit up, leaving Annie and Suzie asleep. As quietly as I can, I slip out of their room. The grandfather clock at the end of the hall reads 6:20am.

Since there is no time to get more sleep I find myself outside. I lie down on the white bench in the center of the little garden in the back of the home. I made it about two years back. Most of my free time is spent either in this garden or on the roof. But usually I go on the roof at night so I can watch the stars. Closing my eyes, I inhale the sweet aromas coming from the last few flowers. I take pride in my little garden. It's the one thing of mine that Ms. Kollins leaves alone. I open my eyes and take in the garden. The little bench I'm on is in the center. There is a high wooden fence that runs along the side and back of it, most of it covered with thick vines. Two dirt paths lead out of it, making a neat swirling pattern I designed myself. The rest of the garden is covered by colorful flowerbeds. Well, at least it would be in the right season. Thanks to the chilly November weather, most of my flowers are already wilted and dead. I don't mind, though, because I know that they'll be back. And it gives me something to look forward to. After staring at the sky for awhile, I head back inside to make breakfast. A meal that I realize I'm not allowed to eat anymore.

Ms. Kollins didn't make an appearance the entire time I cooked breakfast. That's highly unusual so it has me a little unsettled. By the time I'm ready to leave for school I still haven't seen any sign of the woman. I sling my messanger bag over my shoulder and head down the front walkway. To my surprise, when I reach the road, Lucy is standing there, waiting. My surprise is quickly replaced with happiness. Maybe she really meant it when she said we would still be friends. When the blond turns around she smiles. "Morning, Sadie!"

A smile slowly creeps onto my face. Lucy falls into step beside me as we make our way to school. It makes me feel good, you know, to have a friend. And Lucy's a perfect friend. She glares at the people who tease me, talks to me nonstop, and genuinely likes spending time with me. We make it through the day without incident until lunch. I haven't seen Prudence at all so far. The only reason I'm nervous about seeing her is because I don't know what to expect. Will she treat me the way she did on the train? Or could all that have been a really mean prank she and her posse put together. I did forgive her yesterday, but I have a really hard time trusting people anymore. I'm probably being verly paranoid about this, but it's really going to hurt if that was all fake. I'm just waiting for everything to get back where it once belonged, you know? With me being friendless and miserable. Not that I want it to, but I can't help but imagine that it just might.

In the end, I realize my worries were unnecessary. Lucy and I find ourselves a table and the moment we do, Prudence takes teh seat beside me. I stare at her in shock for a few seconds. And so does have the population of the cafeteria. She pulls out her lunch like everything is normal. She only stops when she realizes I'm staring. "Oh, don't act so surprised. Your lack of faith hurts me, Sadie. Hi Lucy."

I take my seat, realizing I never got a chance to explain to Lucy what had happened between Prudence and I. Prudence fills her in, beating me to it. Lucy just shrugs, not really saying anything. She doesn't seem to mind, though. Especially not when she and Prudence start talking about the newest dress designer. Or something like that, I'm not really paying that close attention. I really don't care about dresses. Instead, my mind is on Liverpool. Particularly on a conversation I had with John. The one when he called me different. He said it was because I didn't talk about clothes. How right he was, I think to myself, realizing I don't have the slighest clue as to what the two other girls are talking about. I least I could talk about things I really cared about with him.

"...been listening at all? Sadie! Earth to Sadie!" a voice exclaims, slowly coming into focus. I jump, "Huh-what?"

Lucy shakes her head, "We've been talking to you the last two minutes. Were you even listening?"

"No," I answer, unabashed.

She rolls her eyes. "Forget it. Oh, there's the bell. See you two later in Writing."

Prudence and I stand up, collecting our things. "So, was it hard?" I wonder as we walk out the cafeteria. She pauses, "Was what hard?" I gesture to the girls that walk past us, their hatefilled eyes glued to Prudence. "Oh, not really. I just said, 'Screw you all. I've never even liked any of you. I'm leaving in two weeks and I don't want to waste anymore time on you.' It felt good in a way." I nod, glad she did it anyway. Not for me, but I'm glad to see she's doing things for her.

The rest of the day goes smoothly, luckily. I head back to the home right after school lets out, no time to say goodbye to anyone. My stomach growls in hunger. Annoyed, I will it to be quiet. I try not to dwell on thoughts that make me focus on my empty stomach but I can't help but smell the delicious scents wafting out the door of the bakery. Shaking my head, I hurry on. I whirl around when I hear a familiar voice shouting my name. I see Prudence running down the street, black hair flying behind her. As she gets coser I notice her eyes are alive with excitement.

"Sadie! Sadie, wait up!" she yells. She skids to a halt in front of me. "Guess what!"

"What?" I ask, tiredly. I'm so hungry, I really don't care.

"My parents said I could bring a friend with me to help me move. I picked you! Will you come?" she rushes happily. _You could see John again, _some voice in the back of my head points out. And have some freedom again. After thinking for a moment, I nod, "I will go if you give me your sandwich."

This earns a strange look from Prudence, but she hands me her lunch all the same. I scarf it down hungrily. "Easy there, Sadie. You act like you haven't eaten in a week."

"Actually it's only been four days, but it feels much longer, believe me." I savor the juicyness of the green apple she hands me. My stomach seems to be less angry with me now. That's always good.

Prudence looks appalled. "What do you mean? Why haven't you been eating, Sadie?"

"Ms. High and Mighty declared that me not eating for awhile will offset the high expenses of food for the home. I made the mistake of telling her that wouldn't help at all. Now she's pissed. She hasn't let me eat in nearly five days. Plus, she takes all my money so I have no way to buy food. I've passed out like three times in the last two days. Haven't had any energy either," I explain as if this is a totally normal situation.

Prudence unexpectedly throws her arms around me, "I'm so sorry! I wish I could help you!"

Shrugging inside her embrace, I say, "It's the thought that counts, right?"

"I'm going to miss you, Sadie."

"I'll miss you, too, Prudence."

"So you'll come with me?" Prudence asks hopefully. I nod with fake enthusiasm. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing more I want to do then get back there, but there's no way Ms. Kollins would let me leave a second time. I just don't want to let Prudence down right now though. She squeals in excitement once more before running off. Even though I know she will never say yes, I figure I should still ask Ms. Kollins, for Prudence's sake.

* * *

Yawning, I stumble down the stairs quite ungracefully. Annie is right at my heels, already asking me for another story. That child and her fairytales, my God! I slow down when I hear voices coming from Ms. Kollins' office. I grab her tea from the kitchen, a knot tightening in my hungry stomach when I smell the warm biscuit on the tray beside it. I knock on her office door and she says to come in. She is sitting at her desk with a nasty scowl etched on her face. A middle aged couple is sitting in the chairs across from her. A small pang of sadness hits me when I realize that they are about how old my parents would be. "I brought your-" I begin, only to be rudely cut off. "Yes, I can see that. Ugh, get that child out off here," she snaps upon seeing Annie hiding behind my legs. She is waving shyly at the couple. Smiling, they return the gesture. They seem a bit confused by Ms. Kollins harshness. I set the tray on her table and kneel down to Annie's height. "I'll meet you upstairs, kay, hon. I promise I'll tell you a story. But later. Alrighty?" I say softly. She nods, grinning, and disappears.

"Good riddance. I-where do you think you're going?" Ms. Kollins demands. I freeze in the doorway, then turn to her. "I was-"

"Quiet, girl. These people are here about you." She says this as if it repulses her. My eyebrows shoot up in disbelief. The man speaks up, "We haven't met, Sadie, but you seem to be quite the friend to our daughter. We are here to see if Ms. Kollins will let us take you with us to Liverpool during break. Prudence wants you to be there when we move." Oh, they're Prudence's parents. I can see that now. The black hair, the high cheekbones, it all screams Prudence. "Would you like to come with us?" he asks. I nod with real entusiasm this time. "More than anything." The man turns to Ms. Kollins, "Then it would appear that we will be taking Sadie off of your hands for a week. Thank you for your time, ma'am."

Prudence's parents stand up, nod at that awful woman, and smile at me before leaving. My heart's racing in excitement. I'm really going to get back to Liverpool! To John! For a whole week! I forget about my hunger momentarily, too happy to notice it. When I see the deadly expression on Ms. Kollins' face, though, I'm smart enough to hightail it out of her room. I sneak out to my garden, in search of a quiet place. With a smile, I flop onto my bench. I hear something in my pocket crinkle. Curious, I pull it out. It's John's song. My smile only grows larger.

* * *

**So it wasn't the best, don't worry, i know. Anyway, it might be a week or two before I get the next one up but I promise it's gonna have John in it(hehe i'm happy, i miss him) so they will be better. Thanks again to the people who reviewed. At least ik a few people out there understand that the little blue button underneath this message no one cares about is your best friend...(HINT,HINT);)**


	10. There's A Place

**_Hi people. I sincerely apologize for not updating for like a month. I'm not a person who usually uses excuses but I do have one. Long story short I work at a horse ranch with a few of my friends. We had just gotten this new horse, Marshmellow(a.k.a Shmellow) a few weeks before. I went out there for my spring break and she got really sick. She got a really bad disease that slowly, and extremely painfully, shuts down a horse's body. We stayed up with her for 48 straight hours but it didn''t do any good. We had to have her put down in the end. My friend was still petting her and i had her head in my lap when the vet put her down. Ever since then I haven't felt like doing anything. It really hit me hard, especially since I hadn't really encountered death before. However, my fantastic friends helped me through it. I can't thank them enough._**

**_On a happier note, there were actual English girls working there. And a French girl. We had some crazy times and they only made me love English people even more. Each one of them had a different sounding accent which made it more awesome. They also gave me a better picture of a life of a teen in England which helps me a lot. _**

**_This chapter has definitely been the hardest to write. I just wanted to get to the ones with John in it so I didn't feel like writing it. And I really had no idea what should happen. It's not very good but I promise the next few will be much more exciting and a lot better quality. And how could they not? I mean, after all, they have John in them...;)_**

_**DISCLAIMER: umm if i owned the beatles i wouldnt be writing about them on fanfiction would I? i'd be staring at them and drooling, thinking, 'oh my God! I own the freakin' beatles!' **__**(i wish)**_

_Chapter Ten  
There's A Place_

Not long after I make it out to my garden does Ms. Kollins call out to me. With dread I return to her office. Even though know I'm in for some kind of punishment, I feel better knowing I'll be able to get away from here again soon enough, even if for only a week. I push open the front door and shuffle to her dark office.

She is waiting in her chair as though she hasn't moved since my Prudence's parents made their departure. Her beady eyes and beak-like nose greeted me coolly. Her eyes flicker between various shades of black as she takes me in. I don't sit, knowing she'll scream at me if I do. Her lack of reaction is putting me a little on edge. Normally, I can deal with her actions. It didn't take too long to figure out her behavioral pattern. Being rather an unoriginal woman, she never seemed to like change. Therefore she became very predictable to me. But, as of late, she seems to be becoming a bit more erratic in her plans and it's throwing me off greatly.

"I don't want you going with those people. I'm sure you realize this. Just as I'm sure you realize that I didn't want you to go on that trip either. However, I do not seem to have a choice in the matter at the moment," she states in a chilly tone. I eye her warily, not entirely sure where she's going with this. "One thing does give me comfort in all this. Some reassurance if you will." I raise an eyebrow. "Well, I can ensure that nothing ill will be spoken about this place by you. All it takes to get your co-operation is a five year old girl. So we have a deal?"

I swear if it were legal I would kill this woman. Who would ever threaten a mere five year old to convince a teen to not tell people how she's being abused? Clearly her, but still…

It irks me that she can have so much power over me because of Annie. I love the girl, but I wish this awful woman would leave her out of it. In defeat, I respond, "Yes. We have a deal."

She nods curtly and waves me away.

A small figure tumbles in front of me when I open the door. Closing it shut, I find Annie who looks quite guilty. "Annie, you weren't eavesdropping, were you?" I ask gently with a teasing undertone. I don't really care if she had been, just as long as she didn't understand what had been said.

She shakes her head vigorously, but she's biting her bottom lip and avoiding my gaze. I ruffle her hair and pick her up, "It's alright, hon', just don't do it again, alright?" I receive a nod. Also, unsurprisingly, I receive a request for a book. "Do I have to?"

She thinks for a moment, then nods. I yawn, "How 'bout a song instead?" My suggestion gets her approval. "Wait. Is it one of those weird ones?" she wonders. I nod, understanding that when she says strange it's because the songs are in French. My mother was French so she taught me several songs growing up. And she sang me a lullaby in French nearly every night.

After helping her and Suzie get ready to go to sleep, they pull me down onto one of their beds. I sit between the two of them. They snuggle up to me under their blankets. "Which song do you want, then?"

"The pretty one about the flowers," Suzie says, blushing.

Là-haut, là-haut sur la montagne  
Là-haut, là-haut sur la montagne  
Il y a des moutons blancs  
Blanc, blanc, blanc, belle rose  
Il y a des moutons blancs  
Blanc, blanc, blanc et rose et blanc.

C'est la bergère qui les garde  
C'est la bergère qui les garde  
Elle est habillée de blanc  
Blanc, blanc, blanc, belle rose  
Elle est habillée de blanc  
Blanc, blanc, blanc et rose et blanc.

I don't even get a quarter of the way through the song before they fall into a deep sleep. I gaze down at their peaceful faces with a mixture of relief and envy. Relief that they are too young yet to know the evils of the world, envy that I am not.

* * *

The next morning Lucy is already waiting for me by the gate. Barely containing my excitement, I run up to her, shouting, "Lucy, Lucy, Lucy!" She jumps because she didn't even see me coming. "What?"

Smiling, I squeal, "I'm going back to Liverpool!" Lucy laughs, "My God, you just squealed! Wait, how are you going back?" I fall into step beside her. "Prudence is bringing me when she moves. To help her get settled or something like that. Anyway, I get to go back!" I repeat, still not quite believing it. She shakes her head at me. "Oh, shut it, Sadie. And just admit you only want to go back because John's there."

I put my hands on my hips, "That is not true! I just like getting away from here, is all. Don't look at me like that. That's why." The truth is I want to go back because it's a place to escape my life. There's a place where I can go and forget all the bad parts of my life. And that place is Liverpool at the moment.

"Sure it is," she winks. Rolling my eyes at her, I start walking away. Giggling, she chases after me. "So when are you going?" she wonders just as Prudence joins us. The girl answers for me, "In about a month. Excited, Sadie?" Lucy laughs, "Excited? Her? No, not at all. Thrilled to go see John again? Definitely." I cross my arms and pout childishly. Especially when Prudence teases, "Yea, I figured she wouldn't have said yes if I'd been moving somewhere else. I mean, why go if there's no John?"

"Be quiet you two. Leave me alone. I already told you I don't like him."

"I thought you did like him though?"

"Of course I like him. Why-"

"Ha!" Lucy laughs, pointing an accusing finger at me. "So you admit you like him."

Confused, I nod. "Well, he _is_ my friend."

"No. You _like_, like him," Lucy grins, glancing at Prudence. The black haired girl nods. "She admited it to me. On the train."

"I did no such thing! And I don't like him! Like that at least."

Lucy looks to Prudence, "I don't know. She seems to be awfully defensive. A bit too defensive perhaps."

"Agreed," Prudence says seriously.

"You know what?" I interrupt. They look at me. "I don't like you anymore." I simply turn on my heel and walk away. I know that's obviously not the truth. And Prudence and Lucy, being my friends, know that well enough too.

So, instead of being flustered by my comment, they follow after me, right on my heels, teasing me about John.

"At least I don't make googly eyes at Paul," I taunt Lucy. The blond rolls her eyes at me. "So? You couldn't take your eyes off of John at the Cavern that night. And I mean, come on, he calls you his angel face. I mean really! He clearly likes you back. And you flirt like crazy."

"Yea, yea. What's with that? I'm sorry but that isn't something people who are simply 'friends' call each other," Prudence adds.

I shake my head, "Guys, have you met him? He's an ass. Or an arse. Or whatever the hell it is you British people say. He calls me that to annoy me. Now will you please leave me alone! Please?"

They finally seem to give in to my pleas. We walk to the rest of the way to school in silence. No one speaks until Prudence suddenly cries, "Only a moth in a half!"

I raise an eyebrow in curiosity. She smiles. "That's all you'll have to wait to see John again!" Her and Lucy giggle as I exclaim rather loudly, "I hate you both! Go fall down well!"

* * *

I wake up to an irritating pinging noise. Sleep still has a weak grasp on me so I'm not quite aware of my surroundings as I roll over. My nearly threadbare sheets rustle as I move. I open my eyes slowly, cringing as the sunlight streaming in through my window nearly blinds me with its brightness. The pinging noise starts again. I survey my room managing to move my head from my pillow as little as possible.

I jump when I spot a person examining something on the wobbly desk in the opposite side of my cramped room. My heart rate slows down when I realize it's only Prudence. The pinging noise is her tapping the ring on her finger against a glass cup as she flips through another sketch pad of mine. She finally turns to me. "Oh, good. You're awake!"

I shake my head in confusion, sitting up. "How'd you even get in here?"

"That little girl. Um, it started with an A. I think…" Prudence shrugs, trailing off. Annie, of course. "Okay. Second question. What are you doing here?"

The dark eyed girl looks at me like I've lost my mind or something. "You must be joking."

"No."

"Today? Leaving? Liverpool? Ring any bells?" she tries. I slap myself in the forehead for being so dense. "Oh my God. I completely forgot!"

"Clearly," mumbles Prudence under her breath, but loud enough for me to hear. I shoot her a quick glare before hopping out of bed. After a few second search, I locate my worn green bag. I stuff it with my nicest clothes, which compared to most people are definitely not nice, and some drawing stuff. I throw my bag over my shoulder. "I've just got to say good-bye to Annie and then I'll be ready."

Pru nods and heads down the hall in the opposite direction. I slip quietly into Annie's drafty room and kiss her forehead. I leave a simply worded note I know she'll have no trouble reading and leave her.

To my surprise, Lucy is outside waiting alongside Prudence. She hugs me good-bye. "Oh and don't worry Lucy," I tell her. She tilts her head in curiosity. "I'll make sure to tell Paul that you miss him terribly." She glares. "And that every night you toss and turn in your sleep because you miss him so." Another glare. Why not push for one more while I'm at it. "And I'll pass on that give you want to give him for ya." Absolute death glare.

Smiling innocently, I peck her cheek and follow Pru to her parents' car. She places my bag in the trunk and climbs in the backseat. I follow her lead and get in on the other side. This may seem weird, but I haven't been in a car in nearly seven years. I've walked, taken a boat, a train, but never a car. Not since I was ten at least.

I settle myself on the comfortable leather seats. Pru's mother twists her head around to smile at the two of us. "Darlin', I'm Eleanor Mulroney. This is my husband Joseph. Just call us by our first names. That's fine."

"Oh, um, thanks." I try to sound polite. Truth is that I'm all over the place inside my head right now. I don't know how to act around these people really. Should I be polite and dignified, or just myself? I don't want to give a bad first impression, but then again, I'm not quite sure how to make a good one either.

"I saw your sketch of Prudence awhile ago and I have to say it just about took my breath away. You have an extremely rare talent, Sadie," Eleanor complements happily.

"Oh, thank you. You really liked it?" I ask with a hint of shock.

"Of course! It was phenomenal!" the thin woman gasps. You can definitely tell that Prudence and Eleanor are mother/daughter. I mean, I could clearly tell when I first saw her mother in Ms. Kollins office that they looked a like. Now that they are together, though, it stands out even more. Prudence is the spitting image of her kind mother. It saddened me a little knowing I won't ever have that with my mom. I don't even have a picture of her anymore. Ms. Kollins burnt ever picture of my family right in front of my then ten year old eyes.

With buliding excitement, I gaze out the window. After a while of silence, I ask, "How long does it take to drive there?"

"A little under for hours, darling."

For the first hour or so, I am okay with that. Prudence and I talk for a long time. Somehow she manages to coax me into telling her some stories about when I lived in Washington D.C. Of course, they are just about the city itself, not about the people that once made it home. She seems honestly curious about my it. I find it hard to stop myself from telling her about how much I miss my city. Yes, I still call it my city. I may not have been there in almost seven years, but it's still my home. Prudence pulls me out of my thoughts by questioning, "So, what did your parents do?" I freeze. I am not talking about this. After I confided nearly everything in John, I decided not to tell anyone else my past. That was the way I had done it before John and so that is how I will continue to do it. The past is the past and I'd rather not bring it up again. Pru notices me suddenly go from lighthearted to reserved in a matter of seconds. I know she's linking it to her question so she shuts up.

The rest of the ride is terrible. I haven't been in a car in so long that I'm no longer used to being in one for so long. Motion sickness, I've found, is most definitely not my friend. I roll down the window a crack in hopes that fresh air will get rid of the nauseous feeling I have. Nope. I rub my upset stomach and close my eyes, willing this trip to end soon. Two and a half more hours of feeling sick, I see a road sign that reads:

**Liverpool 11 km**

It sounds a lot farther than it actually is at first until I realize that it converts to about seven miles. I can deal with that. Hopefully. My excitement is growing stronger than my upset stomach. It finally sinks in that I'm back when I see a sign for Princes Park. I smile to myself, deciding that's the first place I will revisit. Prudence's parents begin chattering as we head into the outskirts of the city. We pull onto a calm looking street. It's fairly suburban, the houses about ten feet apart. Every house is made of the same red brick. It seems as though the builders of the development recycled the designs of the houses seeing as many of them looked exactly the same. It looks like a very friendly neighborhood. Some little kids run across the street, screaming in happiness and delight. I see the smile on Eleanor's face grow. Prudence's too.

The driveway we park in leads to a house that looks no different from all the surrounding ones. Prudence squeals and jumps out of the car, running up to her new house. I, on the other, ease myself out of the car slowly, not wanting to move too fast and get sick. The sweet sound of singing birds is the first thing that greets me. The second is the sharp smell of the brisk wintery air. I follow Pru's parents up to their new home silently. As soon as we step inside we are greeted by warmth. An unseen Prudence shouts, "Mum! Dad! Look who's here!" A short woman enters the room with a beeming Prudence. The red headed woman is donning a pale green floor length skirt and a short sleeve blouse. I'm guessing she's in her twenties or thirties. "Rita!" Eleanor cries pleasantly, rushing forward to give the other woman a hug. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see my darling sister and her family of course. Oh, and who's this?" she asks upon seeing me standing in the doorway, unsure of what to do. Prudence beams, "That's my best friend, Sadie. She came to help me settle in. You'll love her Auntie Rita. She draws, too." This seems to spark the young woman's interest. "Really?" I nod shyly in affirmation. She smiles warmly at me, "Then perhaps sometime you can come to my gallery. I would love to show you the art there. It's truly inspiring."

I nod enthusiastically, "That sounds great. I would love to, if you have time."

Her smile falters, "Time..." She gasps suddenly and we all look at her in confusion. "Wait. What time is it?"

"Around three I would have to say," Joseph guesses. The eccentric artist hugs Prudence while apologizing. "I have to go! I have a new exhibit opening tonight. And I might have never quite got around to preparing for it. Can't believe I forgot! I'll stop in tomorrow, though. Good-bye, my lovlies." And with that, Pru's lively aunt exits the house. "I love Auntie Rita," Pru smiles happily. The rest of her family agrees with her. I'm not quite sure what to think. She appeared to be quite the opposite of Eleanor, her sister. But I think I like her. Hopefully I will be able to see whatever she was babbling about. I always look forward to a chance to see other people's artwork.

"Alright. Let's go unpack," Joseph suggests, gesturing to the car that is currently still filled to the brim with their stuff. Not a single one of us walks out to it with much enthusiasm. I know I'm not expected to join in, but what can I say, I'm a helpful person. Pru, naturally, has the most stuff of all. I help her drag her numerous suitcases into her new room. It's not very big, but it's certainly not small. Much bigger than my room at the home. There is one big window in the middle of one of her walls. It looked out at her small, fenced in yard. The walls are a pale but pretty shade of yellow. She actually sounds pleased by the color. There is already a white dresser and a floor length mirror filling up some of the space. There is a small desk in one corner of the room, too. The first thing she does is locate her pictures and posters and starts littering her walls with them. After an hour of taping and glueing, we have brought her bare room to life with the smiles of friends and moviestars and musicians. I smile at her poster of Elvis. If John found out her taste in music he might be nicer. I know he has respect for people who enjoy the ever growing genre of rock.

We finally collapse onto her unmade bed. We lie there in silence for awhile until Pru says, "Thanks for coming with me, Sadie. It means a lot. Really." I shrug it off. "No problem. Anything to help. So now what?" Pru turns her head to me with a sly grin on her features. "Let's go find John." I roll my eyes, shaking my head. "But, I thought he's why you came with me. To see him again," she prompts, confused by my lack of enthusiasm to find the boy. "Well, a little yes. But I came to help you. And to get away from life for a little bit. But I'm really here as your friend." I think I've taken her off guard a bit. Maybe she doesn't believe I really came just because she was a friend who needed help. Whatever the reason, I don't feel an overwhelming need to find John quite yet. Of course I want to see him, but in being a good friend I am putting Pru first. "I think I'm going to go walk for a bit though. Just to clear my head. It's just something I do," I explain. She nods in understanding and goes back to the tedious task of unpacking. She questions me as she stuffs her clothes in a drawer. "Do you know where you're going?" I think of the park. "There's a place. A park." She gives me a look because of my strange answer, but doesn't ask any further questions. I slip out of her house unnoticed.

I shrug my jean jacket on and stuff my hands in its pockets. Though I'm not really sure where I am, I see a sign pointing to Princes Park. I follow its directions and take my time walking there. There's a kind of freedom in knowing that you're not needed for anything. In being able to walk around at your own pace, no one rushing you, no one holding you back. It's a kind of freedom I seldom get. Half an hour later I finally reach the parks gates. Without really thinking about it, I end up at the bench where John and I sat the last time I was here. I fall gently onto the worn wood of the bench. The lake still looks calm and peacful. I close my eyes and listen to the sounds of the nature that inhabits this park. It feels so good just to sit and relax without worrying over anything. I let the chilly wind bite the tip of my nose without any complaint. I am in complete peace all by myself right now. Or, at least I thought I'm alone.

"'Ullo, ullo, my angel face," a voice murmurs in my ear.

**A/N: So, technically John _is_ in it. Sort of. I promise you there will be enough of him in the next chapters to make you happy. Remember, the button down there is your friend. He likes it when people pay attention to him:)**


	11. Watching Rainbows

**_A/N: First things first. Thank you people for reading! And a special thanks to those who reviewed. You make my life:D I must admit it feels good to get back into writing. _**

**_So this conversation happened the other day when I spent half the day typing a chapter:_**

**_Mom: Whatcha doin'?_**

**_Me:Nothing_**

**_Mom: Been typing an awful lot_**

**_Me:Yupp_**

**_*brief silence*_**

**_Mom: Whatcha doin'?_**

**_Me:*sighs* does it matter?_**

**_Mom: very much_**

**_Me:*ignores mom*_**

**_Mom:Whatcha doin'?_**

**_Me*highly annoyed, snaps* writing a story about john lennon falling in love with an orphan! happy?_**

**_Mom: *sniffs* fine, be that way, don't tell me_**

**_Me: *shakes head* parents..._**

**_Anyway..._****_Enjoy!_**

_**DISCLAIMER: you know what, disclaimer, screw you! You can't make me admit to anything!...oh fine, be that way. I do not, and sadly never will, own the beatles.**_

_Chapter Eleven  
Watching Rainbows_

_"'Ullo, 'ullo, my angel face," a voice murmurs in my ear._

I jump straight up a good six inches off the bench. "Good God!" I exclaim, startled. I whirl around to a familiar dark chuckle. And there he is, standing behind me with his typical smirk. "John!" I cry happily. "Couldn' stay away, then, luv?" he teases lightheartedly.

"Oh, I couldn't. Every day I woke up and knew that I wouldn't see your bright and shining face a little part of me died inside," I answer sarcastically. His smirk grows wider and he complements my use of sarcasm by saying, "Not bad." He sits down beside me. "So how've ye been, luv?" he wonders. As I think of how to answer that, I unconciously fiddle with my sleeves. My little movements draw John's attention. My face flushes when he catches one of my hands in his. He examines the bruises and scratches that discolor them with an unreadable expression. Gently he pushes my sleeve up a bit only to reveal more. I glance up at his face. He shakes his head in disapproval. "I take it these aren't from moments of clumsiness."

"Yea, no they aren't."

"I'm sorry, Sadie."

"Don't be. Hey John?"

"Yea?"

"Can we go do something fun?" I ask hopefully.

His smirk grows into a smile and this time it reaches his eyes. "Thought ye'd never ask, luv."

* * *

Oh my God. I love having fun with John Lennon. Mainly because his interpretation of the words 'having fun' is doing something that either endangers your safety, sanity, and sometimes even your life. In some cases, all three of these have the potential to be lost in seconds. But you know what? I don't even care anymore. And, because I no longer care anymore, we ride the bus. John's way. And I'm the one who suggests it.

"So John. Want to catch the bus?" I ask. He begins to shake his head until he sees the something in my eyes that wasn't there the last time. His eyes light up, "Wait. Ye mean actually ride it?"

"Oh yea." This sounds like a good idea to me at the time. But the second we climbed onto the bus, well...

"Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!" I scream, "I'm gonna die!"

John laughs his crazy, madman laugh. "Yer idea!" he shouts over the rushing wind.

"Don't remind me!" I yell back, clawing my fingers into the roof of the bus. And I had wanted to do this why? It's true I haven't smiled or laughed this much since the last time I had been here, but I probably didn't have to go this extreme to be happy again. But however crazy it is, it's still fun.

The bus pulls to a lurching stop and I tell John we are getting off. He laughs and helps me down. I jump to the roof of the bus shelter, John right behind me. People shoot us annoyed looks as we land on the sidewalk. A guy John must knw waves to him and I notice the girl he's with glares at me. Shrugging it off, I ask John where we should go. He suggests the beach again. I look at him skeptically as it had begun raining while we were on the bus. He assures me it's a good idea and I follow him after he grabs my hand and pulls me along. It only takes a few minutes to reach the sand. Instead of going out to the pier or onto the sand, John follows a stone path to a sort of run down building half submerged in trees and overgrown vines. It seems to have been built around a lighthouse. The lighthouse looks more neglected than the building though. Nearly all the paint's been peeled off and you tell from teh ground that there is no longer a light in it.

"What is that?" I wonder curiously. "It's an old boat registry station. And the lighthouse hasn't been used in decades. No one comes down 'ere anymore. Most people avoid it. But I like the view. Come 'ead. Watch yer step." He guides me inside. It's nothing much in there, just dust coated counters and a few old chairs. I look dubiously at the worn out stairs he tries to get me to climb. "You're kidding. They look like they're about to collapse!"

"They won'. 'Ave some faith, luv." He carefully makes his way up the stairs. Shaking my head, I join him. I trek up the spiraling staricase. I pretend not to hear the steps groan in protest under my weight. It's very hard to ignore something like that though. Once we reach the top, I'm out of breath. At least the floor looks sturdy up here. All thoughts are wiped away from my mind when I notice the view. You can see open waters in nearly every direction. The sun isn't out, of course, but the view is still astounding. "It's beautiful John, " I breathe. "Yea, it is," he sighs thoughtfully. I turn to find him and blush when I realize he hadn't been looking out at the view. He had been looking at me. I shake his comment off by deciding he is only agreeing with me, not complementing me. I mean, after all, it wouldn't make sense. Him calling me pretty, I mean.

He comes to stand beside me. My shoulder brushes against his. I look out over the waters to see that it stopped raining. I gaze in awe when I notice a rainbow forming over the water. I nudge John and point to it. He smiles, "They're the reason I come up 'ere, the rainbows. Ye don' see nuthin' like 'em." He still amazes me. The boy that teases people mercilessly, picks fights, and rides on the roofs of buses enjoys quiet parks and watching rainbows. He is a really difficult puzzle for me to figure out.

Out of nowhere, I softly admit, "I really missed you, John." Said boy holds a hand over his heart and gasps, "Aw shucks. Don' make me blush, now." I shoot daggers at him with my eyes. He smiles softly in apology and nods, "I 'ate ter admit it, but...I might've missed ye too. A little bit. A microscopic bit." I know he's only teasing to make it seem like it's not such a big deal, but I smile shyly. "That's all I need to hear."

"So how long ye 'ere fer?"

"A week."

"Oh. An' ye got 'ere..." he trails of for me to fill in the answer. "Today." He tries not to show this makes him happy, but I can tell it does.

"John?"

"Yes?"

"That song you wrote. It was amazing. Thank you."

"Only amazing? I felt it was spectacular," he smirks confidently. I slap his arm, "Quit being an ass and just appreciate the complement." He nods in disappointment. "Alright, alright."

"Hey, look, it's a double rainbow now," he points out. I follow his gaze and sure enough there are two rainbows arching across the sky. Their bright colors drastically stand out from the bland grey background of the sky. And so there John and I stood, leaning against the railing of an abandoned lighthouse watching rainbows. I can't imagine being any happier.

Without realizing it, we stayed up there for nearly three hours. We caught up on what happened to each hour in the last two months. The Quarrymen finally added George as an official member. Before I guess he had only been there to fill in for anyone who couldn't be there. John had his mum and his aunt on better terms. They had actually started spending time with each other again. He sounds hopeful about this. It's good to see him happy about something. Especially with something that important.

"I have to get back, John," I admit reluctantly. Figuring as much, he nods and helps me down the rotting staircase. I enjoy his closeness as he walks me back through the city. I know that I had missed him, but it wasn't until I was with him again that I realized just how much I really had. We don't really talk much on our journey back. We are both more comfortable with the quiet. I'm pretty sure that's one of the reasons we get along.

It takes a long time to get back to Pru's new house but I'm not complaining. That just means more time with John. And not that I'll admit it out loud, but I find it sweet how he just automatically started walking me home, or well to Pru's home. I'm sure he never did that with other girls. I just can't picture him ever being that much of a gentleman.

"So this is where yer stayin'?" he asks upon reaching Pru's brick house, eyeing it curiously. Nodding, I say, "Yep. For the week."

"Will ye-"

"Sadie! You're back! I have to-Oh. Hi." Prudence yells from a second story window. She stops mid sentence when she finally notices John. She disappears inside, no doubt running down the stairs to come outside.

"Innit that the bird from the Cavern? The bitchy one?" John aks quizzically..

"Technically, yes. It's a long story but she's my friend now." I can't be sure, though I swear I hear him mutter under his breath something that sounds an awful like like, "Damn crazy birds."

Sure enough, Pru comes running out the door and down the stone path. John glances down at me warily. I nod. She skips to a halt in front of us. She smiles her bright white smile. "Hi. I'm Prudence. Just call me Pru, though."

She can't hear him, but I sure can when he grumbles nearly inaudibly, "More like shrew..." Without Pru noticing, I stomp on his foot. He shoots me a quick glare though his smirk remains intact. "John," he offers in a rather chilly tone. A bit too chilly for my liking. Pru is oblivious to it though. "Anyway..." John drags out the word to fill the awkward silence. "The lads and I are goin' fer breakie termorrow an' then we're gonna jam. Care ter join?" John asks me while pointedly ignoring Pru.

"Really? I mean I'd love to. Wait. Are the rest of them okay with me tagging along?" I'd hate to get in their way or annoy them. I never really get a kick out of bothering people like some boys I know...*cough* John *cough*

I can tell by his expression that he hasn't taken their feelings into consideration. Shrugging, he replies with simply, "They will be. Besides, I'm usually the one that gets pissed when they try ter brin' someone along. It's fine." I roll my eyes at how he doesn't take other people's feelings into consideration. At least, I suppose, if they don't like having me there it's John that I've got to stick up for me. I highly doubt the boys will make a fuss. It'd be easier to just deal with me than provoke John. "Alright then. See you later."

"See ye then, my angel face," he smirks slyly. Pru snickers from beside me. I'm not sure which one i should subject to my death glare first. I decide John deserves it because he started it._John started it? Wow, way to sound like a five year old, Sadie. Real mature, _the voice in the back of my mind taunts. "I thought we made a deal? You said you'd stop calling me that." My annoyance ends up coming out as a whine. I wince.

Again, he shrugs. I can see the mischief dancing in his dark eyes though. Those eyes that hid as many emotions as they displayed. "I realized afterwards it doesn' matter if ye tell people I was sweet. Anyone who knows me wouldn' believe it was possible." He smirks triumphantly as I realize it's the truth and he's right. Prudence wipes that smirk off his face, though, by mentioning, "I don't know. That song you wrote for her was awfully good proof that it is."

Recovering from the slight embarrassment he feels from finding out that I'm not the only one who's read his note, he contradicts her, "Actually, it's merely proof of my superb songwriting abilities." I giggle at his response, and even though I won't admit it to him, I have to agree with him. Prudence, who's never spent any time with John before, isn't quite sure how to react with that. I playfully shove his shoulder and say good-bye again. This time he actually leaves.

"You were so impatient all this time to get back to _that_?" Pru scoffs. I nod, "Uh-huh. Why?" She looks at me like I've missed something of utmost importance. "He's an arse!" Lauughing, I agree, "Yes, he is. Didn't you believe me?"

"But he's just so rude!" she fumes. "He completely ignored me like I wasn't even there!" Though Pru has grown much nicer over the past couple months, she still expects everyone to instantly love her. I raise an eyebrow at her outburst. "Pru. Think about his first impression of you." I wait for her to think. By the suddenly guilty look on her face I know she's thinking of her cruel words in the Cavern. "That was what he first saw you as and still thinks of you as. You can't really blame him for not exactly being thrilled to see you."

She nods in understanding. I see a determined expression overtake her normally laid back features. "Then I guess I'll just have to change his mind and make him like me, won't I?"

"You do that," I encourage with little to no enthusiasm. From the stubborness I've seen from John and his dislike of most people to begin with, I have very high doubts that he'll change his view on her into a positive one.

* * *

"So where are you girls off to today?" Eleanor asks while tying on her apron. "I'm heading down to Penny Lane," Pru pipes up, missing the grimace on her mother's face as she mentions shopping. "And you're going with her, Sadie?"

I pause from packing my bag and glance at Pru. She gives me the okay to tell the truth. "No. I'm not, actually. And I can't stay for breakfast either. Thank you though."

Eleanor raises her eyebrows in interest, "Oh. What are you doing then, Sadie?"

"She's going to see a _boy_," Pru exclaims with the voice of a five year old. I gasp at her. Her mom's not supposed to know! Eleanor looks a tad worried now. Thanks a lot Prudence. "Don't worry," I assure, "He's a friend of mine."

"No_, _they're_ friends _of yours. I can't find a single guy yet she's got four practically groveling at her feet! How unfair the world has become!" she cries dramatically. Her mother rolls her eyes at her. Then, if possible, Eleanor's thin eyebrows arch higher.

"They do not grovel at my feet! They're just my friends."

"Okay, fine. Maybe not all of them," she admits. Being busy with packing, I don't see her evil smile, "Just John."

I throw my hands up in the air startling Eleanor. "How many times do I have to tell you and Lucy that we are just friends!"

"Oh come on! He wrote you a bloody song. That's gotta mean something."

Eleanor butts in, "Ooo, a musician?"

"Don't mum, he's an arse."

"Prudence!"

"What? Just saying. But guess what, mum."

"What?" her mother asks, wary and unsure she really wants to know.

"He calls her his angel face," she giggles. I blush even deeper when Eleanor joins in with her. "You know what? I'm leaving. Bye." I growl in embarrassment. Both mother and daughter are still laughing as I shut the door behind me.

John may have amazing song writing skills, I will give him that, however, he is teh worst possible person to ask for directions. I wish I had known that before I wander around the city for nearly half an hour. He told me it's a ten minute walk. Stupid John. Hoping I'm not jinxing anything, I start to think that life is warming up to me a little. Especially when I accidently stumble upon the place John invited me to. The bell jingles as I push the door open. I hear a few shouts of greeting from across the room and see John and Paul waving me over. Before I allow John to say something, I snap, "Don't even mention how late I am. Your directions were shit."

Guilt marrs his usually cocky grin. He rubs his neck sheepishy, "'Bout that..."

I hold up a hand, "I don't want to hear it. Anyway...hey Paulie. Georgie." John pretends to pout when I smile at them sweetly and ignore him. He shoves another boy I've never seen before over so I can slide in next to him. "Stu, this is Sadie. Sadie, Stu." His friend Stu acknowledges me with a small wave and nod of his head. He pulls of his black sunglasses and carelessly throws them down on the table. Like the other three boys he has dark hair and dark eyes. He looks at me evenly as John pokes my ribs. I glare at him. He smiles.

I turn and say hi to Paul. Another poke. Another glare.

I greet Georgie, too. Third poke. Third glare.

Just as I open my mouth-fourth poke.

I focus my full attention on him. "What!" Playfulness brightens his eyes, "Hi." I shake my head in annoyance while he snickers. Stu rolls his eyes in a manner similar to the way I typically do. Ignoring John who has returned to poking me, I smile innocently at George. The tips of his ears redden once he realizes I'm staring at him. "So, Georgie, how's Mae?" The rest of his face darkens to match his ears. "She's fine," he mumbles in embarrassment.

"Fine? That's all ye've got ter say? Couldn' bloody shut yer yaap about 'er the other day," John scoffs disapprovingly. Paul nods in agreement, as does Stu. I quirk an eyebrow to show him I'm expecting more details. He shakes his head. "No, I am not taking that. After all, who was the person who told you not to give up on her? This person," I ask and answer, pointing at my chest. Paul and John back me up.

"Alright, alright. I asked her ter go out an' she said no at first. But the next day she came ter me an' apologized and said yes. We went ter the pictures and the park and stuff," George explains in the very boyishly short and sweet style. Paul nudges him in the ribs with an elbow, "And?" George blushes an even deeper red. "I-I asked 'er if she'd go steady with me. She said yes."

"Yeah for Georgie!" I cry in delight. I'm glad I convinced him not to give up. Reaching down to get something from my bag, I pause to find it's no longer beside me. Confused, I look around. Of course the person behind the left is none other than John. He pulls out my nearly full sketch pad. Before he can take a peak I snatch it from his hands. He pouts for the second time today. Why does he have to be almost as adorably convincing as a puppy? Luckily for me though, I haven't been around puppies, or John, so it has no effect on me.

"Yer mean, luv. I just wanted ter look," he mumbles brooding over the fact that I denied him of something. "All you had to do was ask. There's no need to steal, Johnny. I mean what does stealing say about your character?" I bat my eyelashes at his moody face. He likes to tease but hates retaliation. Typical moronic bully.

"John? Character? Didn' know 'e 'ad any," snorts Stu. His expression falters after he receives an icy glare from John.

"No, I think he's got some," I defend. Just as he's about to thank me, I add, "But he is an ass."

He glowers at me. I smile sweetly. Stu raises his pop bottle to me, "I think I like this bird." Paul and George enjoy John's annoyance.

"Aw, don' be like that my angel face," John mocks. He smiles triumphantly the moment he's satisfied he's pissed me off. Simultaniously, three pairs of eyebrows go shooting up. "You really have to stop calling me that. It's irritating and your sending people the wrong message. And when thinking of words to describe myself, I generally don't think 'angel face' applies."

The guitarist grins. "Well I happen ter think it does. And I'm not gonna stop calling ye that. You yerself just admitted that it pisses ye off. Why would I stop?"

Four pairs of eyes suddenly flick to me expectantly. "Should I show them the note?" I threaten, hoping that will be a viable cause for him to drop the subject. I can't tell whether it is or not because he simply shrugs. I roll my eyes. "You're such an ass, John." I say exasperatedly. No reaction from him. "Hey, let's use the letters of the alphabet to describe him. Let's see. A…that's simple-ass! That's the only word I need to describe you, John," I jest, laughing. _Lies, Sadie, lies! There's always amazing, gifted, sweet, thoughtful, smoldering, insane, intelligent, adventurous...Shut up, Sadie!_ the voice in the back of my head scolds. It got a bit distracted there for a little bit. Anyways, back to the topic at hand… Stu looks thoughtful, "I don' know. I can think of a lot more-" he pauses in search of the right word, "creative words to describe him with." On an off track note, I realize he resembles James Dean quite a bit.

Joining in, Paul adds, "Bastard."

"Crazy," George throws in.

Stu smiles at John. "Deranged."

John's smirk melts into a scowl. "I personally don' think any a those words do me justice." He ignores our skeptical looks. "And if yer gonna mock me, at least use my favorite letters."

I decide to allow him this. "And what would those be?"

"A B C D E F G H I J K"

"Why?"

"They fit me perfectly-unlike the words yer usin'."

"How so?" Paul wonders. He's never heard his best mate mention any of this before.

"Amazing, Brilliant, Charming, Daring, Exciting, Fantastic, Genius, and Hot," he explains smugly.

We stare at him dubiously. Even though I know it's exactly what he wants I have to ask, "What's IJK?"

"I'm just kidding." **_(A/N: I just want to that 80icrazy80 for giving me the alphabet idea. I just changed it up a little. thanks:D)_**

Paul and George laugh. Stu shakes his head, "No yer not. Ye believe every word of it."

John shrugs noncommittally. I clap. "Aw, Johnny made a funny! And without offending anyone!" I coo with a voice most people reserve for talking to babies and small children. And the moody glare John shoots me resembles that of an annoyed little kid. While my comment receives snickers from the boys, John looks peeved that I mocked him again. Without warning, though, he suddenly smiles. "Yer fantastic, Sadie."

I'm taken aback. There isn't a drop of sarcasm in his voice. Was he not just glaring at me two seconds ago? There is a hint of approval in his brown eyes. I think he's impressed that instead of letting him walk all over me and tease me, I hand it right back to him. Stu raises his pop bottle to me, "I agree. I'm really liking this bird." I blush.

"Can I see it now?" John whines like a small kid. I send him a confused glance only to have him eye my bag. I nod in understanding and he pulls out my drawing book. He glances at me from the corner of his eye to ensure that I won't rip it out of his hands again. Satisfied that I won't, he loosens his grip on it and starts flipping through it.

Stu gazes at me curiously smoothing back his hair in that Elvis style these boys seem to never be without. "You draw?"

"Since before I can remember."

"Alright. Now I really like this bird," he declares somewhat randomly.

"He's an artist, too," John explains without taking his eyes off the pages.

"Really?" I ask with interest. "That's two artists in two days."

"Who's the other one?"

"My friends aunt. Someone named Rita. I guess she works at a gallery or something-" Stu doesn't allow me to finish before blurting, "Ye mean Rita Halpert?"

"Yes, that's her. You know her?"

"Know her?" he asks incredulously. I must be missing something rather important. "She's practically a legend 'ere!"

John waves a hand at him, "Calm yerself, ye art geek. Don' get overexcited."

"Oh," I say dumbly. I don't really know how to reply, "I didn't know."

"She's from the States, Stu, leave 'er be," John orders absently, still enthralled by my drawings.

"Guess I should've know by the accent."

"Yea. I live in London now, though. Have for the last six or seven years." These words rip John away from my drawing. I can tell he clearly heard the underlying bitter tone. I didn't think it was that obvious. His look of concern melts my annoyance at bringing upLondon.

"Oh. Cool. So," he says while turning to face his band members, "Who's ready to jam?"

The three respond with large amounts of enthusiasm. The five of us pile into Stu's small, rusting car. John's face twitches in annoyance as Paul steals shotgun. I'm loaded into the middle of the backseat. And, boys being boys, George and John make it a point to squish me in between them much more so than necessary upon realizing that it makes me uncomfortable. Some friends they are. Thankfully it's a short drive to John's house.

"Mimi'll be gone 'til two so we better not waste time, clear?" From his warning tone you can tell he's serious. We file into the house behind John after Stu grabs his guitar from his trunk.

Each boy immediately claims a seat without a hesitation. John flops ungracefully onto a worn out green couch and pats the seat beside him. Shyly I take the spot. While everyone else gets warmed up and tunes their guitars, John gets up from the couch and exits the room. I'm in the middle of asking Stu how he got into the band when an arm reaches past me. Said arm places something on the coffee table in front of me. Could it be? It's a chocolate chip muffin! Yeah!

I whirl around to find John standing next to the arm of the couch. I smile devilishly. He begins to shake his head as I advance slowly. He takes a few steps back holding his arms out in front of him defensively. His expression clearly reads: 'Don't you dare hug me.' But when have I ever listen to John? When I try to hug him he darts to the other side of the room. His friends watch in amusement as I chase a very terrified John around the living room. All I want is one simple hug to thank him for my muffin. I mean, it's a muffin. I never take someone giving me a muffin lightly. I'm really weird, you'll get used to it eventually. John, realizing they needed to start practicing, reluctantly allows me to get close. Smiling triumphantly, I attack him with a hug. Gently, he shoves me off of him. His friends are surprised by this. They never see John allow anyone to hug him like that. Even the girls he happens to pick up. "See, that wasn't so bad."

"Yer a weird bird. All I did was give ye a muffin."

"Hehehe. I'm a freak, you're just gonna have to deal with that."

"Alright then."

I smile and we both return to the couch. I pick at my muffin happily as they begin to play. They work through a few of their songs, often stopping to correct a chord here or a note there. They all look so alive when they play, even when they're just sitting in John's living room with an audience of one. Even Stu, who admitted he had no musical talent and is only there for John, seems to be thrilled to be here. These boys definitely have something here and it would be a pity for them to lose it.

About two hours later they finish. I clap heartily and they reply with mock bows. John peaks at the clock and gasps. "What is it?" I ask. He throws his guitar to the side, "You gotta go!"

I feel hurt at his sudden need for me to leave. I'm really confused when all the other boys agree. "Hurry!"

"Why?"

"Mimi'll be shoulda been 'ere 'alf an 'our ago. She's due 'ome any minute. Girls aren' allowed in the 'ouse. It's 'er only rule!" John stresses. I understand now. "Oh. Well, thanks for letting me come. It was good to see you all. And it was nice to meet you Stu."

Stu smiles genuinely up at me. John grabs my hand and pulls me out the door. Once we are well enough down the road he speaks up, "Sorry ye 'ad ter leave like that. But that is one rule I ain' never gonna break. Not with Mimi at least."

I reassure him it's fine and it really is. It's kind of cute though how worried he is that he's upset me in some way. "Hey," I question out the blue, "Why do hate Pru?"

He slows his fast pace. "Better question is why don' you?"

I think about that. "She's better now. We worked through it. And I want you to give her a chance. I did. She's really trying to be nicer."

Sighing, he gives in, "Alright, I'll try not ter 'ate 'er. But I still don' like 'er."

"That's fine. You don't have to like her. Just have to be nicer. Well, I'll see you later then?" I hint without bothering to hide my hopeful tone.

He nods. "Tomorrow we're goin' ter Stu's fer New Year's. His parents are outta town. Brin' yer friend. We'll get there about eight."

"That sounds great. We'll be there. Or, at least I will. Bye."

John smirks and nods his good-bye. I can only imagine what tomorrow night will bring. Knowing John it's going to involve a lot of booze. _Oh boy, what have you gotten yourself into, Sadie?_

* * *

**_A/N: Lots a John, as promised :D. I know I made the other characters mean to him,_****_ but fear not. I absolutely adore him so nothing too horrible's gonna happen to him. _****_I can't wait to write the next chapter!So much is going to happen. hehehe. little hint: someone gets a kiss. who's it gonna be? ...i should prolly firgure that out for myself first...should we have a vote maybe?_**

**_on a random note I just realized this has been my longest chapter yet!_**

**_Hope you enjoyed it and thanks again to those who've reviewed._**


	12. I Don't Want To Spoil The Party

**_A/N: I want to thank the kind words I got from some people about Shmellow. You guys really made me feel a lot better. I tried to update sooner but I have so many projects and tests that its been a little crazy. _**

**_Something totally random: So the other day I got bored and I figured out how to play along on the drums to You Really Got A Hold On Me (the latest Beatles song I've been obsessed with). I feel accomplished=)_**

**_On that note…..enjoy the chapter. Lots of John and Sadie=) I might go back and change the title for this chapter by the way. I wasn't really sure what to name it. I also decided to add a new point of view. It's not from John's POV but it's sorta a third person one about him. It'll make sense when you read it. Let me know what you think of it._**

_Chapter 12 _

_I Don't Want To Spoil The Party_

John smiles to himself as he walks away. He risks a quick glance back toward the two girls. That awful bird she's with looks pissed, no doubt because of him. That thought satisfies him. Anyone who messes with his mates is instantly a target of his badly managed hate. Sadie catches his eye for an instant. She pauses mid sentence when she does. Even from down the street he can see her face blush a beautiful shade of rose. Turning his head away, he smiles wider.

He's not sure why, but he can't seem to get rid of her. Not that he wants to, of course, but usually he pushes people away rather than get closer to them. And he certainly never promises to always be there for a bird. It just that ever since the first time he saw her, he can't seem to shake her from his thoughts. Once he saw her drawing he felt some odd connection with her. That swan she drew, the one breaking free of chains-that's the way he feels. Some part of his paranoid self almost believes she knew to draw something like that. That he would see it. Because that's what he felt like. Chained up and dying to be free. Only, unlike that lucky bird, he hasn't managed to shed his own chains of anger and doubt.

Though he often jokes with her about kissing her, he isn't really serious. Not entirely. Sure, he'll never pass up an opportunity to snatch a kiss from her, but then again, he is a guy after all. And, much as he hates to admit it, he did feel something when he stole a kiss from her in that boat. He isn't sure what though. And him being the guy he is, he doesn't really care. It just unsettled him because he's never felt something quite like it before. He enjoyed that day. More so than many he's had lately. And now he can't look at a duck without cracking a grin and chuckling. John doubts she really believes him, but he knows the truth. He actually did miss her when she was gone. Before that week his only mates had been guys. And he'd never spent time with a bird without the intention of trying something with her. And, truth be told, he finds it rather refreshing. John often finds himself letting little things about him slip whenever she's around. Things he's never told anyone before. It's still isn't sure as to why. What he'd said that day was true-she is different. He just isn't sure how. Yet. He's determined to figure it out. He shrugs the thought off as he strolls home.

* * *

"I don't want to go," Prudence whines childishly. "Not if he is." I dig through my tattered green bag in search of something to wear. At the bottom of it I find something I know I didn't pack. A lavender blouse is folded around a purple sweater. Lucy. Pulling the bundle out of my bag, I turn to my friend. "Come on, Pru. Don't be like that. I made him promise to be nicer. He really can be. Besides, there will be other people there. You can completely ignore him." Not to mention the fact that John will probably appreciate it if she does.

"Yes," she agrees slowly. Then, her being all thoughtfully thorough, she points out," But they're people _you_ know, not me. So as soon as I get there you'll ditch me for them. I know how these things go. I'll be that random girl that no one knows hiding in a corner."

I bite my lip. Her argument is sound and she actually seems pretty serious about not going. Suddenly, a brilliant, yet very mean idea pops into my head. "Georgie'll be there." With his girlfriend. But she doesn't need to know all of the details. Not yet anyways. I honestly don't feel at all guilty when I see the hope that her sweetens her sour mood. Okay, so maybe just a little bit…

"Okay, okay," the black haired girl answers.

"Really?" I double check with excitement.

With a nonchalant shrug of her tanned shoulders, she says, "I'll probably regret it later, but you are my friend, so…yes."

"Yay! Now I have to go get dressed. We can leave in about in hour."

"But I thought you said to be there by eight. It's only two."

"Uh-huh. I have to show youLiverpool, of course!"

"Oh, you mean the Liverpool John's showed you," Pru mutters with narrowed eyes.

There's no point in denying it, so I confirm her suspicions. Even though she's agreed to come with me tonight, Pru still isn't all that thrilled about seeing John again. I am though, so, ignoring Prudence's complaints about having to spend time with him, I run into the bathroom and change. She smiles when I reenter her room. The approving look on her face reassures me in my choice. She gasps suddenly. I whirl around to face her. "What? What's wrong?"

"I _have _to do your hair!" she exclaims. I roll my eyes. "Really?"

She nods enthusiastically. "Oh God. You're such a girl!" I receive no arguments against this statement. With more strength than I expected her to have, she shoves me down onto her bed. Sighing, I close my eyes and let her run a brush through my snarly curls. I wince every now and then. Once she eases all the knots out of my hair, she smoothes my curls back. From the corner of my eye I see her grab a purple hair tie. She puts my hair in the ever popular ponytail and pats my head when she's finished. "There. Now I'll go with you."

I shake my head. I don't like the way the ponytail feels. It makes me feel like I'm a little girl again and I don't want those memories to come back. Especially if I want to enjoy myself tonight. Without knowing, Prudence put my hair back the exact way my mom used to. Except, of course, that Prudence wasn't fromFranceand doesn't whisper comforting lullabies into my ears in French. Thank goodness she doesn't otherwise it might've made me cry. Who knew having your hair pulled back into the current teenage hairstyle could have such an unnerving effect on someone. I make no complaints though and offer a fake smile.

* * *

Before knocking on Stu's door, I shoot Pru a warning glare. She nods in annoyance but acknowledges me all the same. The heavy wooden door is ripped open. "Ah, my angel face!" John exclaims delightedly. And also a tad bit drunkenly if I must say. I spy the bottle in his left hand and my thought is confirmed. He glances at Pru with irritation painted across his hardened face. She offers a small wave of truce. He seems to accept it and allows the two of us inside. He immediately grabs my hand and yanks me down the hall and away from Pru. I look back only to find her arms crossed and eyebrow arched way up high to show her accusation. I hang my head in both shame and apology as John pulls me along.

"Sadie's 'ere!" he calls as if it isn't obvious. Stu waves from his seat on a blue couch and Paul's standing in the doorway opposite us. Georgie looks up from his perch on the armrest of the couch to give me a warm smile. The pretty redhead sitting beside him is no doubt the reason for the thankful smile. Two other girls are in the room. Neither looks familiar though they do smile politely. I notice the blonde's annoyed glare directed my way when John remains by my side. Pru appears by my side in the next few seconds.

Paul disappears into another room with one of the other girls hot on his heels. John's smirk suggests their exit has less than innocent reasons. I nudge him in the ribs, only pretending to be annoyed by his dirty mind. As in doing this, I realize that his hand is still holding mine. A small blush creeps up onto my cheeks. He guides me to a two cushioned couch and flops onto it. I sit beside him in a much more graceful manner. I turn to him in order to avoid Pru's fierce gaze. I think she noticed that Georgie's not exactly available. Hehe. I'm so mean.

Paul and that other girl come bursting back into the room, each bringing with them glasses filled with liquids certainly much more offensive than juice. They are both laughing rather loudly. Beside me John takes another swig of his drink.

Paul motions for the boys to follow him into the kitchen. The five of us girls are left to sit with each other in the living room. "I'm Nina," one of the girls offers. I glance up to locate the owner of the voice. Nina is a small girl, probably several inches shorter than me. She has bleach blond hair which only makes me believe she dyed it. Her smile seems fake along with the color of her hair. My smile and John's are fake only because neither of us actually feel happy nor think we deserve to be. Nina on the other hand just seems two-faced. Instead of being a welcoming smile it comes across as more of a I'm-pretending-to-like-you-even-though-I'd-really-just-like-to-stab-you-right-now sort of smile. That thought came to my mind when I saw the look she gave to John's hand grasping mine even when it was no longer necessary.

"And I'm Clary," the brunette says softly. Pru grumbles under her breath when Mae introduces herself. Prudence definitely figured it out by now. I smile sheepishly in her direction. She ignores me, clearly pissed that I didn't tell her about Mae. Oh well.

"And yer obviously Sadie," sneers Nina. I nod, confused by her hostility. I've only known her about five minutes, what can she possibly have against me already? "Um, yea, I am. Nice to meet you," I return finding myself suddenly shy. I swear I hear her mutter something along the lines of; "Wish I could say the same." I have an unexpected hope for John to return as quickly as possible. Why is she even mad at me in the first place? What have I done? Nina's outright furious glare aimed at me is getting to be a bit much to handle. I feel like a bug under a microscope. The kind of bug that makes the one holding the microscope gaze at it with disgust. I've felt like that for half my life and I don't need some girl I just met making me feel uncomfortable around my friends. I decide to ignore her. Still, John can come back as soon as he wants…like right now…help?

Fortunately and unfortunately John reenters the room followed by the other boys. To my relief Nina's harsh glare is taken off of me. Instead she gazes flirtingly at John. Oh. He's the reason she hates me already. That stupid boy is always causing me problems! Now to the unfortunate part. John's grin. The concerning one. It doesn't help that he winks at me either. That just makes me worry more. Before he can get to whatever he wants to say, Stu comes sprinting into the room while downing the last half of a whiskey bottle. Pulling it form his mouth, he holds the now empty glass in the air in front of him. "Spin the bottle anyone?" he slurs. Uh-oh. John's evil smile and wink at me can only mean he saw this coming. Everyone but Paul follows him into another room. The boy walks up to me, "Comin' Sadie?"

I look at him with wide eyes. Chuckling, the sweet boy hands something out to me. "This'll help, luv."

I shake my head at the glass he's holding out to me. From the other room we hear a voice shout, "Ye comin' my angel face?" I glance from the glass to Paul to the glass again. Then I snatch it from his hand and down the whole of it.

"So, rules?" Paul asks as he sits on the floor. The other people expand the circle to make room for him and me. I slide to Pru's right next to John who refuses to let me sit elsewhere. John laughs at his friend. "Rules? Really, Macca?"

Paul shrugs while Stu places the bottle on the floor in the middle of our circle. Of course in our less than sober state it's more like a jumbled mess. But hey, we can't all be perfect.

Georgie speaks up catching everyone's attention. "Just no guys with guys, 'ear?"

The guys shudder quite noticeably and immediately agree. I don't look to see John's dirty smirk but I know it's there. I just know it is. So, instead of letting him talk, I cut in, "But let me guess John. It's entirely okay for the girls to?"

His drunken self turns to me and beams. "Took the words right outta me mouth, luv."

"I know, Johnny. Sadly, I know."

Nina shoots me a nasty look that doesn't go unnoticed by Paul. "I'll go first," the blonde rushes. She grabs hold of the bottle before anyone can even react. No one has a problem with it though. Especially since almost everyone is suddenly having second thoughts about this. Each time the bottle spins that feeling grows stronger. I notice that every time it points at John she smiles wider. She looks crestfallen when it lands on Paul. Shrugging as if it's nothing, the boy leans forward as does she and they kiss for the chosen time of ten seconds.

Everyone cheers after they pull apart. Paul doesn't seem at all affected by it whereas Nina just looks wistfully at John. Paul takes his turn spinning the bottle. Seconds after it stops he lets out a loud groan. I look at it to find it pointing straight at John. He laughs when Paul tries to spin it again. Picking the bottle up out of his friend's hand, John leans forward and gives his best friend a sloppy kiss on the cheek. Paul shoves him away in disgust. John grins triumphantly. This time around it lands on Prudence. Blushing, she kisses him. She spins it. She decides to give her turn to the shy girl. I think her name is Cara…Clare…oh yea. Clary. It lands on Stu and her face instantly turns beet red. So does Stu's. I can't help it. As soon as they are about to kiss, I tease, "Aw, look, they're blushing. How precious." I earn a grin from John. The two about to kiss blush even more before finally getting it over with. From the expression that is left on Stu's face I can tell he isn't quite finished kissing her. I might want to avoid his room later…

Stu spins the bottle and it lands on John. Having seen Paul's fate, he immediately scoots away from the circle and out of John's reach. John pouts playfully before spinning the bottle itself. The moment he puts his hand on it I get a bad feeling. With every turn it makes I feel a little more nervous. I don't want to admit why but I know the reason well enough. And my nervousness isn't in vain when the bottle lands on me. Just my luck. The phrase if looks could kill briefly flits across my mind upon catching Nina's eye. Everyone, even John, is hushed by this. With the exception of Clary and Nina, the group knows John and I are really close. But that's all. Just close friends. And so they all want to see how close friends react.

Reluctantly, I meet John's eyes. I think the light's just playing tricks on me but I think that the emotion behind his harsh smirk is a little worried. The rest of the group eggs us on. We glance at them rather than each other. I mean, it's not like I haven't kissed him before. But last time he stole it and I wasn't expecting it at all. This time it's different. I know it's coming. And I'm not sure what to do. Not only that but most of our best friends are watching.

"Go on, Johnny. Watcha waitin' fer?" Stu mocks. He's only returning what John gave to him only moments ago.

"Alright, alright," John reassures. Taking a deep breath, he looks at me. He gives me such a miniscule nod that I'm not even really sure that's what it is. Then the only thing left to do is to kiss me. And that's exactly what he does. Cutting us a bit of slack, everyone agreed we didn't have to kiss the full ten seconds. But I count as we kiss. When he finally pulls away from me I've reached sixteen. No one mentions this. Instead, they cheer and laugh before quickly move on. In addition to Nina's attention I can feel someone else watching me. John. His eyes haven't left me since the bottle landed on me. Even half an hour later when we decide to take a break he still doesn't look away from me for more than a few seconds. I try to read the calculating look in his eyes. He' s as good as I am at hiding emotions though, so I can't really tell what he's thinking right now.

After a few more minutes of the game Georgie places a hand on the bottle, stopping it mid spin. All at once he has everyone's attention. "Okay, we should probably stop playing."

"What? 'Fraid yer bird's gonna kiss someone and like 'em more than you?" John taunts in a friendly manner. Despite John's accusation, no one else argues with Georgie's suggestion. The game has given the majority of us (everyone except John) a lot of unwanted feelings. Jealousy, uncertainty, anxiousness, you name it. None of us really have any complaints about stopping. Without waiting for anyone to verbally agree, Stu and Clary slip away from the group and dash out of the room and up the stairs. John offers his retreating friend claps and shouts of encouragement and approval. I jab him in the rib with my elbow. He smiles innocently which doesn't work for him at all, believe me. I tell him that much, too.

"There's no way I'm drinking that," I declare the moment someone tries to shove a drink to my face. I eye the golden liquid suspiciously. I shoot the bearer a look of distaste. John ignores my rejection of the drink and continues to hold it out to me. I shake my head. "Fine, don' 'ave fun at the party, luv," he pouts. He takes a swig of the beer and leaves in search of someone who actually will drink with him. Prudence stumbles up to me, drink in hand and giggling obnoxiously. Oh dear...

"Hey Sadie!" she greets a little too loudly. Her smile is purely that of a drunken person's. "Innit 'e just sooo cute?" she breathes in a rather girly way. Inching away from her, I raise an eyebrow. "Who?"

"Paul," she sighs dreamily. I pause and turn to look at her. "I thought you liked George."

She gasps as if realizing something huge. "Oh my gosh, I do! I gotta go!" Paul leaves with Prudence trailing behind him. I give the drunken girl a disapproving look as she, blissfully unaware of how foolish she appears, sloppily skips into the next room. She trips every so often over her own feet which sends her into fits of giggles. Just as those two disappear, John comes back to where Nina is still sitting propped up against the couch. John's yet to say anything to Pru though I'm sure she's seen the annoyed looks he shoots her way every so often. He really does not like her.

He flops onto the open floor beside me. The only people left in the room are Nina, Mae, John, and me. John collapses onto his back on the wooden floor. He clasps his hands behind his head turning them into a bumpy pillow. Completely ignoring Nina and Mae, John gazes up at me from his spot on the floor.

He captures a curl that's fallen loose from my ponytail. He twirls it around his finger watching it thoughtfully. "I don't like yer 'air like that," he quietly says out of the blue. I feel a little hurt. And it's got nothing to do with his words, just Nina's satisfied smirk. John reaches a hand up and gently tugs my hair free from its hair tie. My copper curls instantly swoosh down and fall to a rest just below my shoulders. He gives me a small, distracted smile. "See. Now there's my angel face." And now the smirk on Nina's pinched face falls away revealing an irritated grimace.

"Are you two a thing?" she demands suddenly. John tears his eyes away from mine in reaction to the question. He looks slightly surprised. All the alcohol he's consumed has to have slowed down his thought process because it takes awhile for him to answer. "No we're not. Just friends." Her eyes instantly flick from him to me looking for my confirmation of this. Seeing my slight nod, she smiles coldly and invites him outside for a smoke. After debating for a second or two he agrees to her offer. John stands up rather clumsily. Once on his feet he offers me a hand up. I eye it suspiciously until he, as impatient as ever, just grabs a hold of mine and yanks me up. Nina holds out her hand as well. John passes by her without a second glance. I watch him slip his jacket on as Nina climbs to her feet without his assistance. It's petty and I hate to admit it but that makes me a little happy.

After sitting and relaxing on the couch for a few minutes I glance at the clock to find that it's nearly11:30p. appears to my right. I offer him a small smile which he returns in a much greater scale. "Don' look like yer 'avin' too much fun, luv." Not wanting to make him feel bad for me, I shrug in a general manner. "Is it cuz John's over there mackin' on Nina?" he questions suddenly gesturing to his best friend. Sure enough, John and Nina are 'mackin' as Paul put it. I look away quickly. I'm not really sure how to feel about that, if anything at all. He gestures for me to get up and follow him. He guides me out to the front porch. I shiver in the chilly night air. Paul leaves and returns with the gray jacket of John's I wore on our day at the beach. It still smells faintly of cinnamon. I smile to myself. Paul asks his question again.

"No, what does that have to do with anything?" I wonder slightly surprised.

"Come 'ead, luv. Anyone can see it."

"See what?" I wonder in honestly curiosity.

"You an' John. You like 'im. An' I think 'e like you, " Paul smirks in an accusing manner. I'm starting to believe that he's a lot drunker then I first thought...

"I do?"

Paul nods.

"Hmm. Well that's news to me."

"Is it now?"

"Yes. Yes it is," I answer truthfully. I've never given a thought to liking John as more than a friend. Considering that fact, I don't give Paul's words a second thought.

"I think ye fancy each other, I do. But I doubt either of yous even noticed."

I ignore him. Then I ask, "So, do you have any other insights on as to who I like, Paulie?"

He pretends to look like he's really thinking hard about the answer, "Nope. Just John."

"I don't like him, okay. And he doesn't like me. I'm really tired of explaining this." I sigh and look at the frost covered ground. We stay silent for a little bit. "Paulie! Sadie!" a familiar voice shouts. John sticks his head out of a window on the second floor. "It's almostmidnight!" he cries. Paul waves in acknowledgement. "Nice jacket, Sadie," John comments with a smirk. "Oh, thank you. I'm thinking I'm going to keep it," I joke.

"Looks much better on ye anyhow," John shrugs.

We head in out of the cold December air. The warmth of Stu's house greets us welcomingly. The drastic change in temperature makes me shiver.

Georgie's talking to Prudence to my surprise. Mae's nowhere to be seen. The poor girl looks like she's about to pass out. Not from talking to Georgie, of course. I think she's had a bit too much to drink. I don't see Stu or Clary. Nina instantly attempts to reclaim John's attention when he bounds down the staircase. He strides over to me all the while smirking.

"I'm not drinking that," I repeat. I'd really rather stay away from alcohol. But of course, it's John with his puppy dog pout and smoldering eyes. Either one of those is enough to convince me, but when he uses them both, I know there's no hope for me. I warily take the bottle from him and sniff the top. Wrinkling my nose, I take a sip. The bitter liquid slides down my throat. He and Paul chuckle at the face I make. They laugh when the burn of the back of my throat makes me cough. Still laughing, John hands me a glass of water which I down gratefully. It doesn't help at all. He's still smirking. I really don't like him.

Once I finally manage to stop coughing I look up to find that everyone is back in the living room. They begin counting down from 30 seconds. Of course most of them can't seem to remember half the numbers in their obviously not sober state. I smile at them happily until an unseen force grabs my elbow and pulls me into the hallway. I whirl around and locate John's face in the dark hallway. Expecting a smirk, I'm surprised by his serious face. He steps closer until he's barely inches away, and even though it's hardly noticeable, there's a faint blush on his face. His eyes have an unfathomable shine to them and they refuse to allow me to break their gaze. He brushes his fingers across my cheekbone and then runs a hand through my curls before settling it on the back of my neck. "I want to end this year with you, my angel face," he murmurs in a serious tone, and, with more tenderness I would have thought him capable of, he presses his lips against my own.

At that exact moment we hear the people in the other room shout and cheer, "HAPPY NEW YEAR'S!"

My heart is pounding in my chest at a speed so fast that I know it can't be healthy. The few drinks I did have had fogged up my mind but John kissing me cleared it entirely. He pulls away almost immediately after the shouts like he means to stop, but when he meets my shocked gaze he must see something important in them. The next thing I know are his lips back on mine again. I would have thought having only been kissed once, and by John jokingly, that I would be lost on what to do. But amazingly, this is not the case. For some unknown reason kissing John feels like the easiest, most natural thing I've ever done. Then again, I have had quite a lot to drink...My mind quickly returns to John who is now cradling my cheek in his calloused hand. His other slides down my side and comes to a rest at the small of my back. Slowly, so as not to interrupt the kiss, he pulls me to him. I welcome the action, suddenly overwhelmed with a strange need to be as close to him as possible. It scares me when I suddenly realize that I don't want this to stop. Just before he can deepen the kiss, a loud noise causes us to jump apart. Our heads whip to the direction of the noise so fast it makes me a little dizzy. From where we are in the dark we can see everyone in the living room.

Georgie, face bright red even with his new found liquid courage, kisses Mae right on the mouth. She, who also didn't drink anything, is too surprised to react at first. And then she giggles while kissing him, clearly getting over her shock. Paul kisses Pru on the cheek while she glowers at Mae. Stu pulls Clary to him gently. She beams as he catches her lips with his. Neither John nor I can figure out what that noise was.

I sneak a peek at John who is staring at the floor wearing a confused face. I look back into the other room. George and Mae are gone and Nina is drinking even more. In my surveying of the room, my eyes catch Paul. He quirks an eyebrow in that infuriating way of his as if to say, 'I toldja ye so.' And yes, I did just give some of my thoughts a Liverpudlian accent. Only when receiving this look do I realize what just happened. I kissed John. Or well, John kissed me. Either way, we had been kissing. John and me. Kissing.

I rip my eyes away, willing them to look at anything but Paul's knowing and smug expression. Naturally, they land on the only other thing I don't want to be seeing. John. It's not that I'm mad. Or upset. I'm just...confused. Where had that kiss come from? Obviously John is drunk. But I've dealt with drunken people before. And drunken people usually aren't that gentle, at least not the ones I've come across anyway. I've never been captured by such an intense gaze from someone, especially someone who's had as much to drink as John. Even with that aside, this is John I'm talking about. The John I most commonly refer to as an ass. How does he possess such a soft kiss? And from what I saw from him and Nina earlier, that is not the way he kissed her. He seemed rough and detached with her. But with me, he seemed almost gentlemanly. And what does this say about me? I mean, I saw perfectly well that he gave me several opportunities to stop him. Could Paul have been right? Do I like John? More than just a friend? Shaking the nagging feeling off, I decide to just accuse the alcohol for the whole event.

The two of us enter the room and go unnoticed by everyone except for Paul. Stupid Paul. He thinks he's just so fantastic because he thinks he's right. Which he's not. Right? The little voice inside my head doesn't seem to think so. _Could he really be right though? Could John and I like each other and just not know it yet?_ Damn you mysterious voice. I'm right, he's wrong. That's all there is to it. _But you did like kissing John. Right? _That voice needs to shut up. Now. I mean, aren't inner voices supposed to agree with us? It is our minds that make them up so why is mine arguing with me.

I shake my head to clear my thoughts. If drinking means I'm going to get into fights with myself then I think I should just lay off it. It's probably not healthy to get into arguments with the voice in your own head…

Groaning, John rubs his eyes. His head is pounding painfully. The boy slowly opens his eyes only to snap them shut when the light assaults them. He winces but opens them again. Blinking rapidly for a few seconds, his eyes adjust. He takes in his surroundings without worrying about the fact that he can't remember anything from last night. He's used top it now. Besides, his memories usually come back once he's up and moving anyway. Closing his eyelids again, he shifts his weight on the couch. As soon as he does this though his eyes fly back open. The reason being that when he moved he felt something beside him. Or rather someone.

He looks down and sees Sadie, quiet and sweet Sadie, curled up beside him. He's surprised that they both fit onto the couch but then again she is pressed right tight to his side. His heart speeds up ever so much upon realizing that her head is nestled in the pocket that his arm had created by being wrapped around her. Her curls are spread about in a coppery mess. She wriggles closer to him and tugs the blanket to her chin. He hears her murmur a few inaudible words before she falls back into a deep sleep. He tries not to panic too much as he longs to remember everything that happened last night. It comes back slowly. _Spin the bottle. His coat on her. Midnight. The kiss._ Oh God! The kiss! He feels like pounding his head against the nearest wall. John can't believe he kissed her. Why would he do such a thing? He struggles to recall what happened after that. With relief, he sighs knowing nothing more than kisses had happened between him and Sadie. For the life of him, he could not figure out how they ended up sharing the couch. And a blanket. Truth be told, which he never intends to do, he actually likes this. It feels good to have Sadie close. He isn't sure why and that unsettles him but he's willing to enjoy this closeness while it lasts. Without a doubt he knows he's not going to enjoy things when Sadie wakes up. She'll probably kill him. But for right now, he really doesn't care.

**_A/N: So there. Another chapter. And with lots of John and Sadie=) Hope you enjoyed it. If you didn't then I'm sorry, I can at least say I tried._**


	13. Hold Me Tight

**_A/N: Hi. I'm not really feeling too wordy today so I think I'm gonna keep this short._**

_**DISCLAIMER: umm if i owned the beatles i wouldnt be writing about them on fanfiction would I? i'd be staring at them and drooling, thinking, 'oh my God! I own the freakin' beatles!' (i wish)**_

**_Warning: This chapter is kinda of serious and a little depressing at first but just keep reading anyway. The next few will be lighter._**

_Chapter Thirteen_

_Hold Me Tight_

"Jesse!" I shriek in both annoyance and delight. The short blond boy sneaks up from behind and wraps his arms around me in a tight embrace. The momentum from the hug pulls me off my feet and into the air. My brother spins me around once before setting me gently on my feet. I turn on him the instant he does, arms crossed and bearing a scowl. He ruffles my hair. Just because he's already six inches taller than me doesn't give in the right to mess up my hair. After all, he is only a few months older than me.

Ignoring my irritated expression, he bends down to meet my gaze. "Ready for the trip?" he asks excitedly. My tiny head bobs up and down rapidly. Before I know it, a smile is back on my face. "Uh-huh! I bet we're gonna live in a big old castle. Don't you think, Jesse?" Once Daddy told me we were going to England I immediately pictured a huge castle with princesses and everything. And a prince, of course. Jesse thinks I'm silly but I can hope, right? Daddy blames Mommy for telling me too many fairy tales.

He opens his mouth to tell me no, but Mommy comes bustling into the room just then, distracting us both. "Allons-y! Venir mes enfants!" she sings in French. She hands me my green bag and bends down to kiss my cheek. Jesse makes an embarrassed face as she does the same to him. Daddy enters the room as Jesse wipes Mommy's light pink lipstick off his cheek, suit on and tidy. "Daddy," I giggle," You're so silly. Why are you wearing that? We'll be on a boat." I gaze up at him round, innocent eyes. His lips curve upward into his trademark smile. His green eyes have a happy twinkle to them. He doesn't answer my question, and instead kneels down in front of me. Jesse and Mommy leave the empty room. Daddy looks right into my eyes, something that is much easier now that he is my height.

"Now, Izzy," he begins. I know he's trying to get my full attention when he uses my nickname. He's the only one who calls me that. "I know that you're upset about leaving." I flick my gaze away from his to look at my feet. I nod solemnly. "Exactly. And I want you to understand that we're leaving so things can get better. Life is going to get a whole lot easier soon, kiddo. Now, I can't promise you a castle, but I can promise you that life over there will be even better than living in a castle. And don't worry about leaving all you've known behind. I'll be there, Izzy. You'll always have me. No matter what. I promise. Alright?"

I nod in understanding. I hug his neck and he picks me up into his strong arms. "Well then, Izzy, let's go start a new life, shall we?"

* * *

The loud and unmistakable crash of thunder wakes me up out of a peaceful dream. I frown when I think of the beautiful fairy tale like dream I just lost. The dream is quickly forgotten by the time the next rumble of thunder comes through. Shaking in fear, I sit up clutching my stuffed horse. Once my eyes adjust to the light I spot Jesse's sleeping figure on his bed across the room. I slide off my bed and ignore the creaking noise the boards make as I travel across them. Jesse stirs when I crawl onto the bed nest to him. "Scared?" he yawns. Nodding, I fiddle with the ears of my stuffed horse. The fur has almost nearly all fallen out and the brown color has faded to a dull tan. Jesse wraps his arms around me and quickly falls back asleep. I follow not too long after...

The loud blare of sirens is what wakes me up the next time. Jesse shoots me a confused look. I shrug and cover my ears in hopes of blocking out the obnoxious noise. Suddenly, it falls silent. Eerily silent. Jesse slowly pulls me close. "Sadie, don't look," he instructs slowly. Following his orders, I turn my back to the room and tuck my face into the pillow.

A somewhat familiar smell tickles my noise. Not quite remembering what the smell is of, I look up to find out. I cling to Jesse when I locate the source. It's smoke. Smoke coming from the flames that are licking at the bottom of the door from the outside. "Jesse, what's going on?" I ask distressed. He holds me tight to him protectively. I hide my face in his shoulder shaking with an intensified version of the fear I felt earlier.

With a loud bang, the door to our room is thrown open. This enables us to see the damage done to it by the flames. The once pretty white door is now blackened and burnt. An unfamiliar figure stands in the doorway and yells something in an incomprehensible language. Jesse and I, stricken with fear, remain where we are. The man gestures for the two of us to come towards him. We do as he says. Jesse grips my hand tightly. The man towers above us and guides us out of our room and into the smoke filled hallway. The offensive smell attacks my nose an mouth while the smoke makes my eyes water. I cough feebly. We turn immediately when we hera our names being called.

"Daddy!" I try to shout. I just end up coughing and Jesse calls out to him instead. Soon Daddy reaches us. He picks us both up into his arms the second he reaches us. "Oh thank God." The other man nods roughly and disappears into the smoke. I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face into the small space they create. I glance up when he starts moving. Flames approach quickly behind us and Daddy does his best to run down the nearly black hallway with us both in his arms.

By some miracle we make it out onto the deck. Daddy sets us down gently and hugs each of us. All three of us inhale deep breaths of fresh, untainted air. Neither Jesse nor I ask the surely dreadful question of, _Where's Mommy? _

"Daddy? What's happening?" I plead. He shakes his head. "I'm not sure Izzy. I'm not sure." My tiny heart races. Daddy _always_ knows what's going on. Always. He steadies me as someone running by bumps into me. A crew member comes up to us. "Sir, we're taking the boys to that boat over there. Can I have your son?" he questions gently. Daddy nods absently. Jesse g=begins to cry. Daddy hugs him and tells him to be brave. Jesse nods and I hug him tightly even though I don't know what's going on. I'm confused when the crew member starts leading my brother away. I whirl around to Daddy and tug his sleeve. "Where are they taking Jesse!" I yell in alarm. "Daddy! They're taking Jesse! We have to go get him!" Daddy shakes his head and tries to shush me. "Izzy, no. We can't. He'll be safe. He'll be fine."

Tears start to pour from my eyes. He wipes them away with shaky fingers. His voice catches as he whispers, "It'll be okay, Izzy. We'll be okay."

He stands up and grasps my hand tightly. We start walking closer to the deck's railing and closer to the swarm of people near it. I stumble on something in the dark and lose Daddy's hand. I'm quickly engulfed in the crowd. Someone I've never seen before snatches my hand and starts to drag me through people. I can hear Daddy screaming for me. "Daddy! Daddy, I'm over here!" My voice is drowned out by the noise the people are creating. I struggle to break free of the person's grasp but they are too strong. In a desperate panic, I kick the back of their leg. They let go off me with a yelp. Not wasting anytime, I scramble free. Still screaming for Daddy, I break free of the crowd. He's standing away from the group looking for me there. I run up behind him and cling to his leg with all the strength I have. Sighing in relief, he bends down again and hugs me.

"Sir, we are loading the last of the children into the boats now. I need your daughter," a voice snaps. It's my abductor. I shoot him the fiercest glare a nine year old can conjure up before going back to clinging to Daddy. "Can I get a second?" he asks. The other man nods curtly. Daddy pushes my hair back out of my face and sighs. "I love you, Sadie. Never forget that. No matter what happens, I'll always be with you. You'll remember that right? Now, promise me something." Sobbing, I nod. "Whatever you do, keep your eyes closed once they take you away, you hear. Don't look back." I throw my scrawny little arm around his neck and breath in his piny scent. It is the most familiar thing in the world to me. "I love you, Daddy."

"I love you too, Iz."

The man grabs my sides and pulls me away from Daddy. Already forgetting his instructions, I gaze longingly back at him while the man carries me away. I pound my tiny little fits on his back in anger. "Daddy!" I cry in desperation. "Daddy, don't let them take me! I love you! I promise I'll be better. I'll be good. Just don't let them take me!"

The last thing I see before being handed down to another stranger is my strong, proud father fall to his knees and weep.

* * *

I wake up with a start. After the shock of my dream fades the tears come. They are silent at first but then they grow considerably louder. My next reaction is to cling to the thing closest to me. I stretch my arms out blinding and wrap them around the top of a pillow. Taking a few deep breaths I try to forget the dream. No such luck. Looks like this one's planning on sticking with me. Tough, I suppose I shouldn't really call it a dream. That's exactly what happened that night so I guess it's more of a memory. That's even worse. I tuck my face into the pillow. The warmth of it comforts me. That is until I realize that it's also breathing. Pillows don't breathe...

"Mmhmm. I'm awake-five more minutes..." a voice mumbles sleepily. My tear filled eyes widen. The instant they do my heart starts racing. My pillow isn't a pillow at all! It's John! I lance up at his face just in time to see his eyes flick open. Confusion crosses over his face as he takes in my tears. "What's wr-"

Sniffling, I manage, "H-he l-lied."

"What? Who?

"He s-said everything was gonna get b-better. And that he'd always b-be there. He lied to me," I sob. Still utterly confused, a half asleep John rubs my back reassuringly. "Shh..." I tuck my face into his chest and cry some more. Not once does he say a word. All he does is hold me much like the last time I cried near him. But this is so much worse. Worse because, until now, I hadn't remembered what happened just before I was put on a lifeboat. I was torn from my dad and I watched him collapse to his knees in defeat. He cried his eyes out. My strong Dad was broken so much worse than I am now. Because he knew something then that I didn't. He knew he was never going to see me again. After a long while my eyes dry up. John holds me gently for awhile in silence. I take in a deep breath and let myself calm down. Much as I hate to admit it, it feels really to have someone helps me get over my dark dream. Even if in that process two friends are violating several 'just friend' boundaries. But it helps me to have someone close. Usually I wake up from nightmares alone and in an unwelcoming room with some crazy and abusive woman screaming in my face. Despite being on a space as small as Stu's couch with John, at least I feel safe. Even though he's helping me right now, he is going to have a whole hell of a lot of explaining to do later.

Still shaky and on edge from my nightmare I take the risk of wriggling a little closer to John. He makes no complaints. I close my eyes. The only thing I focus on is John's rhythmic heartbeat. Within minutes I am fast asleep.

* * *

John tries not to stiffen up when Sadie wriggles closer to him. Taking a few calming breaths he relaxes. The arm wrapped around her rises and falls with her breaths. Focusing on this regular pattern, he thinks about what just happened.

He wakes up to her crying. And about what? All he got out of it was that someone lied to her. Someone said that everything was going to get better. But who could she mean? And why would whoever it was be able to put such a strong girl to tears. Whatever-or whoever the reason was, he's just glad he was able to calm her down and help. And that scares him even more than the fact that Sadie is sleeping right beside him. He's a tough guy. He doesn't need anyone. Why would he feel good about knowing that he brings comfort to someone? Isn't he supposed to be a hell raiser?

And as for the sleeping situation, he also isn't sure why that unsettles him either. Or he does, he just won't admit it. It's certainly not like he hasn't been in this position with a girl before. But maybe what unsettles him is that in those times he had done something with her. But this isn't like that at all. Never before has he held a girl in such a caring way, let alone the fact that that is his intent. Normally in a situation like this he'd have snuck out before the girl ever woke up. This isn't like that though. Nothing happened between them. Nothing that would make him want to sneak out anyway. And it's just that. The fact that he doesn't _want_ to leave. He wants her in his arms. He likes it. And he's never wanted that before. With anyone. And it should feel wrong. Not because of who he is, but because they are just friends. Friends aren't supposed to wake up in this position. And because he's never really been a good friend, he doesn't even know what to do in that area either. _This is a mess. Yer a mess,_ he thinks to himself. _'Ow'd ye plan on gettin' outta this one?_

And what does he possible expect to happen? She thinks he's an ass, and granted, he is. But could that change?_ What are ye even thinkin' 'bout, Johnny?_ he scolds himself. He knows it's wrong to mess around with a girl like Sadie. A girl that's been through more than he can ever imagine. But what if he wants to do more than just mess around? Would he be able to...

Torn between his thoughts and feelings, a very conflicted John falls asleep.

* * *

"Oh. My. God," a voice exclaims in surprise. I jump awake, startled out of my dreamless sleep. Pru is standing a few feet away from me with her mouth hanging open. I rub my eyes and sigh. "Pru, what's wrong?" I sit up slowly, my head aching. "My God, shut it. Some of us are tryin' ter sleep ye know," John groans. Curious, I glance around trying to locate him. My heart skips beat when I do find him-on the couch behind me pressed up to my side.

"Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!" I shout in fright. Screaming this and jerking away so fast causes me to fall off the couch. I land on my butt with a painful thud.

"What the 'ell, luv!" John says leaning over the edge of teh couch to look down at me. "What's yer problem?"

I stare at him with wide eyes. Despite his innocent face, my eyes narrow anyway. Without any warning, I reach up and start slapping at him in frustration. He covers his head with his hands even though I'm currently attacking his side. "You're my problem!" I squeak. Scrambling to my feet, I pause the my slapping fit. John flinches back into the couch when I point an accusatory finger in his face. My finger is shaking as I think about the fact that we had just been sharing the couch. Or more about how it was that we came about sharing the couch.

"What the fuck did you do!" I shout-whisper at him. My heart is pounding in my chest. _Please say nothing, please say nothing, please say nothing._

He feigns looking hurt, "Whoa, why ye blamin' me?"

"Because _you're_ the dirty swine in this situation, not me. What happened last night?"

"I 'onestly 'ave no idea. But don' worry. Nuthin' 'appened. Nuthin' more than that kiss anyway..." He eys Pru behind me and drops his voice to a murmur for the last line. I blush at the memory. "You better be telling the truth." I threaten seriously.

"I swear on me own grave."

"You're not even dead yet."

He looks at me carefully. "While that's currently true, the look on yer face is tellin' me that it might not be soon."

Even though I want to be mad at him I can't help but smile at that. "Alright, alright. I believe you."

"well, now that we got that outta the way..." he trails off and curls up into a ball dragging the faded quilt up over his head. I place my hands on my hips. "Where am I supposed to sleep then?"

He pops his head out from under the blanket. Smirking he lifts the quilt up in one hand in an invitation. "Well it seemed ter 'ave worked pretty well till now."

"You irritate me, John." I roll my eyes in amused annoyance. Might I say though that I did consider it for a second or two.

"Good," said boy smirks. Still chuckling he disappears under the blanket again.

Grinning agaisnt my will, I stumble over to the pull out bed Pru seems to have been lucky enough to acquire. I flop down beside her and curl up into a tight ball much like John had just done. Sleep evades me so eventually I give in and just lie there in a ball. The dream still has me quite shaken. After all these years I finally remember all of what happened that night and now I don't know how to feel about it. Sure it bothered me that I couldn't remember, though now that I've seen it I'm not sure it should have.

I hug a pillow tight to my chest and oddly find myself wishing it was still John. Knowing that's not a possibility at this point, I look up from my pillow and across the living room. The blanket has fallen away some leaving the top of his head exposed. His auburn hair isn't slicked back now. It looks fluffier and very mussed up from sleep. He rolls over in his sleep and ends up leaning precariously close to the edge of the couch. Some mean part of me is sort of wishing he falls just to see his reaction.

Who knows how long I've been just lying here. Deciding I needed to get up and move, I slide off the pull out bed and make my way as silently as possible to the kitchen. When I reach the couch John is on I pause. As if it had a mind of its own, my hand raises itself to his messy hair. His hair tickles my fingertips as I brush them over the top of it lightly. I pull my hand away sharply, suddenly snapping out of it. I rush into the kitchen not sure of why I just did that.

"Well, good mornin', luv," a voice greets. Stu smiles at me from his stool at the kitchen counter. I return it and say, "Isn't it a bit early for you boys to be awake?" He shakes his head. "Nah. I'm an early riser. I like the mornings. You?"

"I must say I'm usually a night person."

"So what's diff'rent 'bout this mornin'?" he wonders curiously. He stands up and rummages through the fridge. After a few seconds he comes out with some milk. Then he sets it on the table and grabs some cereal. I get out two bowls after he points to where they're kept. I sit carefully on the stool across from Stu and fix myself some breakfast. "Um, well, I guess I just couldn't sleep. It happens a lot though."

"Ah. I understand."

"Oh. Stu. What are you doing Tuesday night?" I ask out of the blue. He clearly isn't expecting something like that because he cocks his head in confusion. "Uh, I'm not sure. Why?"

"Pru's aunt, Rita, invited me to the opening of a new exhibit in her art gallery. She told I can bring anyone I want. I know you don't know me all that well, but...well, would you like to come. With me?" Halfway through my question I get suddenly shy. Feeling like I shouldn't have asked him at all, I glance up sheepishly. His eyes are wide with excitement. "Really? Ye'd brin' me? I'd love ter go! She's an amazing artist."

"Yes, of course. And I'd like to see her work. I haven't before. So you'll come?" I ask hopefully. He nods enthusiastically. Then he stops nodding. "Wait. John won't mind, will he?"

No it's my turn to tilt my head in confusion. "Why would-"

"Ugh. Someone get me some coffee." The two of us turn our heads to the newest voice. Paul is slumped against the doorway holding his head in one of his hands. Stu chuckles knowingly and hands the poor boy a fresh mug. Stumbling over to us, Paul falls onto a free stool. He groans and I rub his back in a comforting manner. "See, Paulie. This is exactly why I didn't want to drink last night. Look at me now. Do I look like I'd rather be dead? Why no, no I don't." I smirk teasingly. Paul lifts his head from the marble counter just enough to shoot me a dark glare. "What's with the look? I'm not the idiot here. You are." I smile innocently and bat my eyes. Stu chuckles and finishes his bowl of cereal. He gets up and places his dish in the sink. He promises to be right back and leaves Paul and I alone.

"Least I'm not the one in love with John," Paulie mutters against the cool of the counter. Glaring at him, I head to the sink and drop the bowl into it. It makes a loud, irritable clang. Paul winces and covers his ears. "Why wouldja do that?"

"Do what?" i snap in annoyance. He rolls his eyes. "Yer crazy."

"No, I'm not. But you certainly are if you think I'm in love with John."

"Fine, fine. Just stop talkin'..." his voice grows quieter as he goes on. I nod. He groans again when Georgie comes crashing into the kitchen. "Mornin', everyone!" he exclaims. Now, I know he was drinking last night. How is he possibly in such high spirits. "Shaddup, Georgie. It hurts." Paul's weak complaints come out in a whisper. Georgie cracks a grin. He advances on us and purposely drags a stool across the ground making it screech in protest. If looks could kill Georgie would be six feet under that instant. Paul shakily gets to his feet and staggers out of the room complaining about how we are all awful friends. Georgie and I snicker.

* * *

After he pulls the blanket back over his head for the second time, John heaves a great sigh. Part of him is glad that Sadie's no longer curled up against him, but the other half wishes she had wanted to return to the way they woke up. He can't fathom why he almost felt hurt when she refused his offer. Hopefully she'll think he's asleep now. The truth is that he is wide awake. There is no chance of him getting anymore sleep now, much to his annoyance. Under the safe cover of the blanket John grabs a pillow and holds it to his chest. Somewhere in the back of his mind he wishes it were Sadie still. He didn't quite feel comfortable with that thought but it's better than thinking about what had made her wake up crying. He'd done that for a long while after she fell asleep.

His next train of thought is wondering why she reacted the way she did when Prudence woke them up. Ugh. Prudence. He really, really hates her now. She's ruining a lot of things for him and he doesn't appreciate it. Sadie might still be in his arms if it hadn't been for her. But why would Sadie react like that? She had known he was there. She woke up before and had been fine with him. Well, other than the crying. It was like she had completely forgotten about it. And John knows he doesn't have that much imagination as to dream something like that up. Maybe she really had forgotten it. If someone tries to talk to him early he can have whole conversation with people and not remember them when he wakes up. That could have been it. Well, if that's the case, it's certainly comes as a disappointment to John. He had held her and comforted her and now she might not even remember it. Just his luck.

Suddenly, he is distracted by a noise. Though he can't see he can fell a presence beside him. His body turns into live wires when he feels something brush across the tips of his hair. Sadie. He doesn't know how he knows, but he's sure it's her. He stays absolutely still. He let's out his breath when he hears her shuffled footsteps fade away. He isn't comfortable with what this girl can do to him. How she can make him feel. Despite this feeling, he thinks whatever she does to him it might just be for the better.

**_A/N: I have no idea why I started this chapter out this way I guess i just kinda did. Maybe it's because it's chapter 13. I guess i had to have something unlucky happen in the chap with the unlucky number. Anyways...till next time_**

**_Thanks for the reviews by the way. They make me smile=)_**


	14. Every Little Thing

**_A/N: I'm really not feeling talkative so here it is._**

**_Disclaimer: i'm so past beyond caring about certain things, and you disclaimer, are one of them. who are you to say i don't own the beatles?_**

_Chapter Fourteen_

_Every Little Thing_

Paul avoids Georgie and me the rest of the morning by crashing in Stu's basement. Feeling satisfied that we tortured the poor enough with our loud noises we move onto our next victim. Since Pru is most likely already mad at me I choose her. Mind you I don't tell Georgie that she likes him, but it'll still have the same effect on the girl. I peek out from behind the doorway to watch Georgie sneak up to Pru on the pull out bed. My eyes briefly flick to John's still sleeping figure. He rolls over onto his side, further removing the blanket from himself. His hair is even more mussed up and his mouth is slightly open. Blushing because I've caught myself staring at him, I turn away quickly. Just in time too.

Pru scrunches her nose when Georgie pokes it gently. Receiving no other reaction than that, he pokes her forehead with a little more force. Then one of her cheeks. Her eyes flicker open slowly in annoyance. "Wh-" she slurs. Once her eyes open enough she finally sees a grinning Georgie standing over her. His face is only inches from hers. She lets out s small shriek and tries to sink further down into the bed to get away from him. I come out from my hiding spot sporting a grin. She shoots me a glare so deadly that I'm surprised I don't fall six feet under. There's always time though, I suppose.

Meanwhile, John stirs on the other side of the room. Sneaking a glance at him, I notice he looks tired as he tries to sit up. And not tired as in not enough sleep, but tired as in he's got a lot on his mind. Well he's not the only one. I finally remembered the first time I woke up with John. How he had comforted me. He was gentle and kind and so unlike his usual self. And I feel bad for how I reacted when Pru woke us up. And for how I called him a swine when he'd done nothing but be nice to me. I plan on apologizing to him as soon as he explains what happened last night as we left behind 1957.

He runs his hands through his hair and holds his head much like Paul did this morning. Though, in John's case, it's more likely that he's trying to keep his thoughts from exploding out of his head rather than merely having a bad hangover. He's just that kind of person.

John slowly climbs to his feet. I know he's sees me standing there but he walks past me acting as if I'm not. That makes me feel a little miffed. He pauses when he gets to the basement door though. John opens it just enough to slam it shut. We hear Paul's curses float up the stairs. Grinning proudly, John leaves the room. I have to admit that makes me smile a little.

Stu enters the room just as John leaves followed by Nina and Clary. Nina's glare of unbridled hate leads me to believe that she must've seen John and me when we were on the couch. Together. The thought of that makes my heart speed up again and heat rises to my cheeks. No one seems to notice thankfully. Her glare is making me rather uncomfortable though. While the others are talking, I manage to slip away. Having nothing better to do, I decide to find John.

It doesn't take very long to find John hiding out in Stu's room. Quietly, I slip inside. The boy shows no sign of having heard me enter. He is sitting on the side of the unmade bed gazing at the wall with his back to me. "John?" I whisper so as not to startle him. His head snaps toward me. I swear I see disappointment flash across his face. "Oh. Hey Sadie."

"What are you doing up here all alone?" I wonder, making my way over to the bed. I sit down slowly beside him. He doesn't answer for awhile so we sit in silence. "Thinkin', I s'pose," he murmurs vaguely with a shrug of his shoulders.

"John," I begin, "I'm sorry about this morning."

"Huh?"

"Well, I kinda just remembered what happened when I woke up-the first time."

"Oh. That. Don't worry 'bout it."

"No, really. I'm sorry I keep unintentionally putting you through that. You just always seem to be there when I have my random meltdowns."

He meets my eye for the first time since I came into the room. "Did it 'elp ye?"

Taken aback slightly, I answer, "Well, yes. Yes it did."

"Then don' wurry 'bout, Sadie," he says curtly, closing that particular conversation. My gaze moves to my feet. I have so many questions I want to ask him. If he's acting like this though, I'm not sure I'll get many answers.

"Okay. So then, well, what was last night about? You-we-I mean-"

"John!" Stu's voice shouts. "My parents just called an' said they'll be 'ome in an 'our! We gotta scram!"

"Alright!" John calls back. He acts like I hadn't even been saying anything. He gets up and tries to leave the room. I jump up and reach him before he can though. I grab hold of his arm, stopping him. "John. What did you mean by what you said last night? What was that all about?" His guarded eyes gaze into mine for a second as if trying to find some answer in them. Apparently not finding what he is looking for, he rips his arm out of my grasp and stalks angrily down the hall. "John. Wait. Tell me what la-"

He spins on his heel and walks back to where I'm standing bearing an unreadable expression. He gets in my face and spits through clenched teeth, "Leave it be, Sadie. Leave me alone. Just go away." He leaves me there absolutely astounded. Before I can chase him down the hall he's gone. Hurt by his actions and words, and very confused, I return to my other friends.

* * *

Instead of walking me back to where I'm staying like usual, John just disappears without so much as a good-bye. Pru bids a still hung over Paul a quiet farewell and waits while I say god-bye to the three remaining boys.

"So I'll see you tomorrow night, Stu?" I ask said boy. Grinning, he replies, "Absolutely." I ignore Pru's look and wave as we walk away.

"You're a horrible person!" Pru shouts as we get far enough away. I smile sheepishly. "Yea, sorry about that. But I knew you wouldn't go if I said he had a girl," I defend weakly.

"You lied to me," she whines in annoyance. "I happen to disagree," I say, "I just withheld some of the truth."

Pru shoots me a dirty look that I pretend doesn't bother me. I do feel bad but not enough to dwell over the guilty feelings. If that makes me a bad person I can deal with it. We walk the rest of the way to her house in a mostly comfortable silence. I take in our surroundings as we pass them. The streets filled with rows upon rows of brick houses give off a homey feel. Kids run by us in the streets screaming in laughter to express their happiness. It brings a small smile to my face. There is a little girl who can't be more than six who looks like she could be Annie's twin. The resemblance makes me miss her a little bit.

We arrive at Pru's house a little out of breath from the long walk. The house looks warm and friendly from the outside. The best part is that I know it will be on the inside too. I trail after Pru as she ambles up the stone path to the oak door. The gold doorknob clicks as she twists it open. Warm air greets us like a friend we haven't seen in awhile when we rush inside. Pru and I shiver.

"Mum! We're home!" Pru yells even though we can both clearly see her washing dishes in the kitchen. Eleanor jumps and then greets us warmly. "Oh. Hello girls. Did you have fun?"

"Well, Sadie certainly did," Pru giggles with a sinister edge to it. 'She slept with John." The black haired girl nearly sings the last line. Eleanor drops the dish she had in her hands back into the sink. I stand there gaping at Pru while Eleanor gapes at me. Both of us in shock albeit for different reasons. Eleanor appears to be on the verge of hysteria. Just barely regaining my composure, I snap, "What on God's green earth are you talking about! I most definitely did _not_!"

Pru giggles again in a very girly manner. "Ha. Technically you did though. Think about it." She winks suggestively.

"My God! You are such a child!" I exclaim. Deciding that proving my innocence to Pru's mother is a much more pressing issue at the moment, I ignore Prudence. I turn to her now stricken mother. "Trust me, Mrs. Mulroney," I start not wanting to overstep any boundaries at this point, "I did not-sleep with anyone. In that sense at least." She still looks pale. "Okay. So that probably wasn't the best way to put it. Um…you see, my friend and I sort of both fell asleep on the couch. Nothing happened, I swear. We were just sleeping. But Pru here always likes to make things much worse than they really are." This explanation seems to somewhat calm her down. She nods slowly.

"Hey!" Pru shouts in realization of what I just said. "I don't make things worse!"

Briefly snapping out of her shocked state, Eleanor instantly argues, "Oh yes, you do."

Pru's open mouth snaps shut in disbelief. "Way to side against your own daughter," she mutters loud enough for us to hear. Eleanor glances at me and see's my downed face. "I don't know. Whether she slept with someone or not, I quite like Sadie here. Maybe she can be my replacement daughter. Least I know she won't spend all my money on clothing," Eleanor chuckles teasingly. "Maybe you two should just swap places for me."

Even though she is joking light-heartedly, I brusquely and unexpectedly snap, "No!"

Eleanor looks slightly startled, as does her daughter. I mumble some lame excuse for my sudden outburst and offer an apology. Once she is finally convinced that I did _not_ in fact sleep with anyone, I slip out of the kitchen and down the hall. I hadn't meant to be rude. I was just overwhelmed by the thought of Pru in my place and I in hers. I wouldn't be able to stand having one of my friends in my awful place. I wouldn't wish the little I have onto anyone. Especially my friends. Now, I know I overreacted, but I'm a little on edge from all that' happened in the last 24 hours or so. From inside the room I find exactly what I need at that precise moment. My drawing book and the open window that gives me access to the roof. Perfect.

In hiding from the questioning I am sure to get from Prudence, I escape onto the shingled roof. Once in the center of the right side, I spread my drawing supplies about. I pick up a slender pencil, my usual tool of choice and hold its tip to the paper. This is typically how I clear my head. And believe me, between the dream and with what happened between John and me, I desperately need to clear it. And soon.

I tend to find a high place first. I'm not sure why that is. Maybe it's because I usually feel so looked down upon by the rest of the world. I guess sitting in a high place gives me an opportunity to switch the roles around, if only for a few moments anyway. The other thing I do to clear my head is draw, obviously.

Like usual, I let my mind wander as I hold the pencil to the paper. This is generally the way I draw. Nothing else seems to work for me really. I just draw whatever my mind comes up with. Half of the time I get so distracted by my drawings that I don't even realize what they're of until I've finished them. This one is no different.

My eyes fly open the instant inspiration hits. It starts with a simple line. A harsh, somewhat dramatic line. And then another. And another. Then, I fade the lines into a softer scale with my finger so they gradually melt from harsh to white paper. Every little line, every little smudge, every little erase mark has to be perfect. The things my mind would normally let slide in a drawing are now what they are focused on the most. Every little detail. Every little thing. They have to be perfect.

I am so transfixed with my drawing that I don't even notice the movement of the Sun in the sky. By the time I take a break from my drawing I'm shocked to discover it's nearly evening. And I probably wouldn't have noticed at all if it hadn't been for Rita.

I nearly jump out of my skin when she greets me. I hadn't even heard her make her way onto the roof. The young, elegantly dressed woman appears out of place on the roof as she cautiously sits down beside me. Her red hair shines with an orangish glow from the now setting sun. Her blue eyes sparkle happily. "Hello, Sadie."

"Oh, uh, hi…"

"Just call me Rita, I don't mind."

"Oh. Alright then." Not wanting to be rude and just go back to drawing, I open my mouth to explain. Rita stops me with a silencing hand. "I'll wait until you finish. I know all too well the feeling an uncompleted drawing gives oneself. Go on. I'll wait."

Smiling, I do as she says and continue to work on my piece. A few minutes later, and my hand satisfied that it had done all it could, I close my book and turn to Rita. She gives me an odd look. "What?" I ask. She shakes her head causing ripples to run through her pin straight hair. "You aren't even going to look at them?" she questions. I shake my head. "No. I usually forget about them and then happen to find them again on accident. They're only to clear my mind. It's not like they're important. Or any good for that matter," I explain best I can.

"Seems to me that if you're clearing your mind by drawing than whatever it is that's on your mind is what is making your mind unclear. And, if it's worth your mind putting it to paper don't you think it's worth something then? That it's important to you in some way? Good or bad? I've been watching you up here for awhile. And whatever it is you were drawing-well, it must've been important to you. Very important. I think you might actually want to go back and take a look at that one. But, then again, you don't know me and I don't know you so I might be completely wrong. Though I can tell you really enjoy art, don't you?"

Still trying to take in her mini speech, I nod slowly, unsure of what to say back. "So are you coming to my gallery tomorrow night?" she inquires out of the blue. Relieved that we have returned to a topic I actually know how to respond to, I excitedly answer, "Yes, of course. Definitely. I'm actually really excited. I've never been to one before."

"Really? With a talent like yours? I expected you to be all into the arts." She does sound quite surprised. I stiffen up a bit at this statement. "Well, I was. When I was younger."

"And what changed?" Rita presses, curious to know why I didn't continue my interest in the arts.

"Well, I no one wanted to take the time to show me anything or take me anywhere after my parents died. And orphanages aren't exactly run to cater to each individual's petty needs. Or, that's how they put it at least." By they I mean Ms. Kollins. I stun myself with how bitter my voice sounds. I hadn't realized my deprivation of the arts meant this much to me. And I also have stunned myself by how much I let slip to this woman I barely know. "I'm sorry. I shou-"

"No, no. I should be the one apologizing. I hadn't meant to be so frank. And I won't apologize for the loss of your family. As orphan to orphan, I know it only makes you feel worse."

I tilt my head curiously. "You and Eleanor are orphans?"

"Yes. Not until we were both legally adults, mind you, but that doesn't make losing your family hurt any less." Even still Rita still sounds rather troubled by her loss. She offers me a small smile. "You know, that's when I threw myself into the arts. It was the only thing at the time that helped me through my problems and my feelings. That is until I met my husband Robert. He helped me even more than my art. And I'm sure you have friends that can help you as well."

When she says this I can't help but have my thoughts drift to John. Of course, they don't have to drift all that far seeing as they never really left him. He has helped me through two really tough times so far. And he actually made me feel better which no one else has accomplished s far.

"It's just a thought. Anyway, so are you bringing any friends?" she wonders. I smile to myself at the way she skips around from topic to topic. It's much like the way my thoughts are arranged. Must be an artist thing. And I can detect the suggestive tone in her seemingly innocent question.

"Sort of?" I mean to say it as a statement but it comes out as more of a question.

"Huh?"

"Well, you see, he's a friend of my friend that I've only just met. He's great though, and an artist. Not to mention a huge fan of yours as well."

"Is he really? Aw, that's so sweet! So do you fancy this friend of your friend?" Rita bats her long eyelashes sweetly. Blushing, I disappoint her. "No. Sorry. I'm only looking to get to know him better as a friend."

"So do you fancy your friend who's friend you're inviting" It takes a little longer to think through that one and she takes my silence as an embarrassed yes. "Aw, you do fancy him. So, tell me. What's he like?"

"Wh-oh. No. I don't like him. It's not like that. Right now I'm not looking for that. And it's not looking for me."

"Oh. Well, that's perfectly fine, you know. So. How about we get down now? Never was one for heights. What do you say?"

Chuckling, I start to head down the roof. Rita follows quickly after. She slides down the roof overcautiously. "Why did you even come up here in the first place? Isn't it nerve racking?"

I pause just before I hang myself down to get into the window. "I don't know. It helps me clear my head. And draw."

"Well, I think I'm just going to stick to my studio in the gallery. Much less chance of dying in there, you know," she chuckles nervously. Smiling, I take her hand and help her down. She gives me a grateful nod and accepts my help. Pru comes into my room just as we climb in through the window laughing. Her arms are crossed when she meets my eyes. "I'm still not happy with you."

Shrugging, I respond with, "Not many people usually are, so…"

Rita rolls her eyes at her niece. "Well, I must be off. Pru, will you be there tomorrow?" Pru shakes her head. "Only Sadie and Stu are going. But I have a reason. I promise." Rita nods. "So, Sadie, I shall see you tomorrow night then. Oh, and think about what I said. I think it'll be in your best interest. Ta."

With that, Rita leaves Pru and me alone in my room. Pru looks to me. "What's she talking about?" Shaking it off, I say, "Nothing important. So what's your excuse for not going?" Hopefully pointing the attentioon at her will be distracting enough for Pru. It is. She pouts childishly. "Mum just got a call from the school this morning. The schools have a different schedule than back home so now I have to go earlier. It's back in session tomorrow. And I can't stay out late on school nights."

"Aw, that's too bad. I'll miss you. Maybe." Her dark eyes narrow and she slaps my arm in a fit of annoyance. Appalled by her out of character behavior, I draw away from her. "What was that for!"

"I know it was you who told Georgie to wake me up. You are not a good friend." Pru spits these words with a touch of seriousness. I shrug playing it off. "Come on. Admit it. You secretly enjoyed being poked in the face by Georgie. It's okay, I won't judge you." I make an imaginary square around the two of us. "See? Judgement free zone."

She's not buying it. "Well at least I didn't wake up wrapped up in some boy's arms like someone I know."

"Ah," I begin, pointing a lofty finger in her general direction, "That's true. However, if it'd been you with Georgie, I bet you sure as hell you would've died of happiness. Or maybe even Paul. You too seemed awfully close last night. Ooo and how 'bout that kiss." After saying that, I realize with a wave of relief that she doesn't know that John and I kissed as well last night. If she had this conversation might've taken a whole new turn.

Her mouth falls open and her arms hang limpy by her sides. Bet she didn't expect that. She's still so used to people never talking back to her that it confuses her at first. Then she starts shaking her head slowly. My instincts tell me it would be wise to back away from the girl who's eyes now have the I'll-kill-you-bitch look in them. I smile sheepishly and try to back away without her noticing. Of course, with my luck, it doesn't work. She starts advancing on me with a purposeful stride. Now my instincts tell me to run. And you know what? I listen to them this time.

* * *

Sleep evades me yet again. Sighing, I roll onto my side. The gray sheets under me rustle as I do. I don't want to think about the things my mind keeps nagging me with any more. It won't let me think about anything else. No matter what I do I can't get these particular thoughts out of my head. I flip my pillow over and bury my face into the cool fabric. It only annoys me further when I realize with a jolt that it bothers me that it smells of lavender and not cinnamon. Something is seriously wrong with me.

From my new position I can see, even in the dark, the dull brown of my drawing book on the floor. Curious, and obviously willing for a distraction from the never ending thoughts plaguing my mind, I sit up and throw my blankets back. After I stretch out my back, I lean over and grope for the lamp in the blackness of the room. A few frustrating minutes later I finally locate it and turn it on with a click. It casts a shadowy light on the room leaving it with an eerie appearance. Standing up, I stretch out the rest of my muscle which are still stiff from sitting on the roof for so long.

Silently I make my way over to where my drawing book lies. I get distracted on the way by glancing out the window. Even with the light pollution from the street lights, the vast black sky is littered with bright stars. They twinkle at me as if they know I'm conflicted right now. Ripping my gaze away from the pretty things is harder than I'd like to say.

My drawing book is lying innocently by the bookshelf that occupies nearly a quarter of this room. I take a deep breath before I bend over to pick it up. I weigh it in my hands as Rita's earlier words run through my head. Whatever I have drawn must be important to me. Why else would it have bothered me that much? Still not entirely positive that I really want to find out what it was that I had drawn, I flip open to the page it's on. To my surprise I find one I don't even remember drawing. So there are actually two. Both of them are equally upsetting in their own way.

The first, the one I don't even remember, is of a man. A man broken beyond repair. He is on his knees, his back hunched over. His face is held in his hands, his shameless agony visible to all. The simple, yet equally intricate, drawing practically drips with the sadness the man is overcome with. Shuddering at that one, I hastily flip the page to the next drawing so that one is out of sight. Rita had been right, though. Painful as that was, I know I needed to see it. Strangely though, it's not that one that unnerves me the most.

I recognize first that it is a face. A face made of lines. Of dramatic, harsh lines that fade into white. The mouth is a slanted, medium line. The eyes are what really get me though. Those cold, confused eyes, yearning for something beyond their grasp, filled with hidden pain and sadness. I feel like I am really staring into his eyes right now. I wish I were. It is so close to looking into the eyes of the real John Lennon that I snap the pad closed in fright.

That was what had been so important? _He_ was the reason I spent hours agonizing over the slightest mistake in my drawing? _Him?_ Though, it shouldn't surprise me really. _He's_ what I've been thinking about all day, try as I might to stop. I can't get him off my mind. Not since I woke up in his arms this morning. And then he blows me off; tells me to go away? I mean, what was that? He just ignored me like I wasn't even there! Ugh! I hate that boy. That cocky attitude. That stupid know it all smirk. Everything. Every little thing! But both my heart and my mind know that's not true. And I think that's what is making me so angry about all of this. It's how much I _don't _hate him. How much I _don't _distrust him. That's why I'm angry. I don't know how to feel about things any more. Now that my life isn't as horrible, I don't know what to do. I'm on such uncharted territory now and it's all because of him. And I don't know how to describe the way that makes me feel. Does that make me crazy? Probably.

Taking a deep breath, I return my gaze to the drawing. To his face. It irritates me to no end and yet it gives me comfort to know that I have a friend in him. Or at least I did until last night. I don't know any more. And that pisses me off. Seeing his face, drawing or real, pisses me off. With an angry grunt, I shut it and chuck my drawing book at the wall with one last glance at the drawing.

It hits the wall and falls to the floor. Not waiting for it to land, I storm from the room. Since I left, I didn't see it fall. The book lands on the ground open to the drawing of a smirking John.

_**A/N: I think i do know what to write about in the next chapter so hopefully it won't be as long of a wait. can't promise anything though. let me know what you think please.**_


	15. Jealous Guy

_**Chapter Fifteen**_

_**Jealous Guy**_

After my little freak out over John, I sit myself on the couch in the living room for a breather. I run my hands frustratedly through my tangled curls. Despite the fact that it's three in the morning and that my brain probably isn't fully functional because of it, I try to sort out my feelings about John. He knows more about me than anyone else and that's a fact. Nobody else knows my real story. And that morning? He'd held me so gently, so comfortably at a time when I needed someone. And when I left his arms, I found that I wanted nothing more than to be back in them. What does this mean? Do I like him? Could I? I suppose it's entirely possible that I might. He's cute, hell, he's gorgeous. And those eyes...

Anyway, there are other likeable things about him other than his appearance. Like his music for instance. It truly amazes me just how much he loves it. He seems to be an entirely other person when he plays. A person, I realize with a shock, that I want to get to know. And when he's not being an ass, which, truth be told I don't particularly mind that personality, he can actually be quite sweet. He cares about how I am and what I'm feeling. And the way he walks me to where ever without ever being asked, that's something he only does for me. He's really funny too, especially when his jokes don't involve oneself being the punch line. And he has the potential to care. A trait that not a lot of people I've met have. He brushes everything off like it's nothing, but I can tell when it's actually something. John's also the first person to care about what happened to me. To what is still happening to me. He's one of the few, and the first to know it. I feel like that means something. Plus, he's had a not so great past as well. That gives us a connection of sorts. But not necessarily the kind one would be likely to build an actual relationship on.

Shaking my head, I decide to just give it a rest. That dumb boy's been on my mind all day; it's about time the thoughts of him left me alone. I'm starting to find the deep brown of his eyes an irritating color. And, dear God, my minds even imagining what he smells like. The scent of cinnamon is so strong that I almost wonder if I'm starting to become delusional. Then I realize that the candle I'd lit upon entering the living room is cinnamon scented. God, even something as innocent as a candle is making me think of him. This better go away. I'm really not comfortable with the thoughts running through my head. Especially since the fact is that the one person I'd ever trust enough to tell my feelings to is the one they're for. John is who I'd trust, but I can't very well walk up to him and say, "_Oh, hey John. So, ever since I woke up in your arms, I haven't been able to get you off my mind. Does this mean I like you?'_ Yea, I don't envision that going over so smoothly. The best I can do at this point is to return to my room in hopes that sleep will eventually claim me.

I pick up my sketch book from the floor where it landed. I don't know whether to laugh or cry when I see that it fell open to the drawing of _him. _Nearly silently, I stumble back to my bed. Curling up into a ball, I gaze into the eyes of my drawing, wishing they were the real ones.

Around seven I head out to wait by the park as Stu had suggested. His dad didn't approve of his art so he thought it was best for me not to show up ready to take him to an art gallery. I understood this completely and agreed to meet him here at 7:15. I always like being early. Only, with my luck, John happens to wander by, not Stu. "Well 'ullo, 'ullo, my angel face. What's with the fancy dress?" He rakes his eyes over my body, head to toe, eyes lingering where more skin than normal shows. I roll my eyes at him in irritation. "I'm going to that art gallery with Stu, remember?" Something flashes across his eyes upon the mention of his friend's name. I wonder what that's about. His brow furrows and he opens his mouth to say something. Just as he does so Stu appears.

"Ev'nin', Sadie. You look beautiful tonight." Stu's gentle voice interrupts my thoughts. He offers me a nervous smile. I return it happily. "Thank you. Ready to go?" I ask Stu. The dark haired boy nods enthusiastically, linking his arm with mine. John mutters something unintelligible under his breath, shooting his friend a dark look. Shrugging it off since I don't know what it means, we walk away from John. I risk a glance back when we get a few feet away. He doesn't notice me. He's too busy running a hand through the hair on his shaking head.

Stu and I stare at the building in awe. The whole thing is made up of various marbles. The ceilings arch high above our heads with vast windows revealing the starry night sky. People are milling around us, champagne in hand while inspecting the art. I look around the room for Rita. I spot her fiery red hair just as she sees me. She crosses the great room with purposeful strides. She greets me with a welcoming smile. "_Bonjour_!" she exclaims in excitement. I raise an eyebrow. "_Eh bien bonjour, Rita_." Her eyes widen. "_Parlez-vous francais?"_

_"Oui. J'ai depuis que j'ai cinq. Et vous?"_

_"Rien que l'an dernier. Je suis encore à apprendre. Vous parlez bien."_

_"Merci beaucoup. Cet endroit est incroyable! C'est beau!"_ I complement because it really is. I hadn't realized how much I missed this language until I started speaking it just now. If it weren't for Annie always begging me to sing her French lullabies I might've fallen out of practice. "Um," a very English voice hesitates, "Can we please speak in a language I understand?" Stu smiles sheepishly and shrugs. "An', 'ey, I didn' know ye could speak French, Sadie. John never mentioned it."

Rita just now notices him standing there. She sends him a warm smile. And within moments she has him practically groveling at her feet. Rolling my eyes at the star struck boy, I make my way around the gallery. Some of the art is a bit out there, definitely unigue. Other pieces look so real you'd think they are. And others just aren't quite that impressive. But there is one that catches my eye. I stand directly in front of the painting, staring at it for an unusually long time. It's of a little girl and her father. The girl's back is to the viewer and all that shows of the father is his hand wrapped around hers. His grasp is tight, yet comforting, reassuring. The girl's face is turned up at the unseen father figure. Her pink dress has nothing but frills and ruffles, adding an ultimate innocence to the painting. It pains me to know that this is exactly how I looked as a little girl. And, truthfully, I still am that little girl deep down. Only now I don't have my daddy to look up to in absolute adoration. He's gone. Just simply gone.

I jump when a hand lands on my shoulder. Startled, I look up to find Stu's smiling face. "She's quite crazy, ye know?"

"Oh, I know," I say absently. He gives me a strange look. "What's up with ye? What's so special 'bout this one? It's rather borin'." I shift uncomfortably, not wanting to voice my thoughts. Suddenly, and unexpectedly, I find myself wishing John were here instead of Stu. John would understand. He would let me alone to get lost into this painting. He always seems to know exactly what I need. Clearly Stu does not. I don't hold it against him though.

"Oh my God! Sadie, we gotta go!" Stu's voice is frantic. I look at him curiously. "I gotta a gig in an 'our! If I ain' there John'll 'ave me 'ead!" Without another word, the tall boy slips through the crowd, me tailing along behind him.

John smirks when we arrive. "Glad ter see ye decided ter come, Stu. Didn' know if ye'd made any...new plans." He eyes my flustered face in search of something. What, I don't know, and for once, I don't care. I flop down onto a stool and catch my breath. "Aw, luv, ye all right? Ye didn' do nuthin' too rough with 'er, right, Stu?" John's voice would come across as teasing to anyone who doesn't know him, and maybe even to some people that do. I know better though. I can detect the underlying bitter tone. Stu shakes his head disapprovingly at his friend while I just flat out ignore him. I sigh in relief when they are called up on stage. The club goes wild.

I don't even remember them finishing their set, but all of a sudden, a bright, cheery Paul appears just in front of me. Paul grabs my hand and smiles as he pulls me out to the dance floor. "No, Paulie, I don't-" I giggle, following after him. He wraps his arms around my waist easily. I slip my arms around his neck and we sway to the music. "'Avin' fun yet, Sadie?"

I shrug, and then smirk playfully, "Of course, Paulie, now that I'm dancing with you."

Had his face not already been red from playing and dancing, I'm sure it would've flushed. His large brown eyes widen before returning to their normal size. "Yea sure. But really, are ye 'avin' a good time? Ye've seemed awful distracted lately."

"You noticed?" I ask, slightly embarrassed.

"Kinda hard not to, luv," he admits.

I make a face as he spins me around, "Really?"

"Definitely. So what's on yer mind?"

"Nothing, nothing," I brush it off as the music slows to a ballad. I step closer to Paul and we simply sway gently from side to side. I rest my head on Paul's shoulder and gaze over at the bar. Without meaning to, my eyes land on John who is downing the last of his beer. I try to ignore the small pang of jealously that nags at me when I see a blond walk over to him. The auburn haired boy smirks at her and kisses her cheek. She looks familiar to me and I know I've seen her trying to impress John at the club before. I close my eyes and bury my face in the crook of Paul's neck when John starts kissing her.

"It hurts ye, doesn' it?" Paul says slowly.

I lift my head up to look at him in confusion. "What?"

"Seein' 'im with another girl."

"I-I-who are you talking about?" I sputter.

Paul chuckles at my reaction. "Oh, don' act all innocent. I know you fancy 'im."

"I do not 'fancy' John."

Paul's smirk grows wider. "Ah, but luv, I never said 'is name. Ye actually fancy John? I was right. Ha-ha."

I slap myself in the forehead, "Oh my God, you didn't know? I'm so stupid!"

The boy's hazel eyes are bright with amusement. "Don' worry, luv, I won' tell no one. 'Cept fer John a course."

He covers his head with his hands and winces when I start slapping him. "Ahh, Sadie!"

"Tell him and I swear to God I'll kill you!" I shout whisper at him.

He continues to laugh at me even as I hit him. It's not long after that I join in with him. Soon the two of us are cracking up on the dance floor. Once our laughter dies down, we return to dancing. Shaking my head, I wrap my arms around his neck again.

"So ye fancy John, do ye?"

"I don't know. I mean he's my best friend. Maybe it's not so much that I like him, but I want more for him than what he's got, you know? He deserves more."

"An' you don'? I mean ye've got so little."

"Oh gee thanks."

"You know what I mean."

"Yea, yea."

I glance over in the direction I last saw John. He's still there, but he's alone now. I smile at him when our eyes meet to be polite. His harsh smirk is gone, replaced an entirely harsh expression. He seems annoyed by something but I can't tell what. Turning away, he orders another drink rather rudely from what I can see, and quickly downs the whole thing. He turns his back to me, his shoulders slumped over the bar. A rather high voice pulls me back into the present."Hey Paul, that you?"

I detach myself from Paul to see a slim, dirty blond smiling shyly at him. I glance at Paul to see him blushing. "'Ullo, Dot."

"Oh, so you're Dot," I say in understanding, inching away from Paul nonchalantly. In some of Paul's, shall we say less sober moments, he gushed on and on to me how amazing this bird, Dot, is.

The girl nods, "Am I interruptin' sumthin'?" She looks slightly uncomfortable having seen Paul holding me and dancing with me. In order to change her view on that, I shake my head furiously, "No, no. Not at all. I was just telling Paulie here I'm off to go bother John. Enjoy!"

I leave the two of them in an embarrassed quiet and make my way toward the back door with no intention of bothering John. He looked much to aggravated already at the bar. Best to just leave him alone. Mickey, the stage manager/bartender, smiles and waves at me from the bar and I return the actions. It takes awhile but I slowly make my through the dance floor. People push me around about while they dance, but I push right back. I'm finally just ten feet from the door when a guy cuts me off. He's a tall, powerfully built boy, probably a year or two older than John. His blond hair appears multicolored in the club's lighting. His eye's glint with some unknown emotion and he offers me a cocky smirk. And it's not adorable like John's. Instead, it's rather intimidating and slightly repulsive.

"Well 'ullo, 'ullo, darlin'. Care ter dance?" he slurs, clearly drunk.

"No thank you. I was just on my way out, actually. Sorry." I step past him and push open the door. About halfway down the alley, I hear the door open and close again. Figuring it's one of the boys, I just keep walking without bothering to look back. They can catch up to me if they want to. But I instantly know it's not one of the boys when a hand shoots out and grabs my arm. The grasp on it quickly tightens when I try to free myself as a habitually instinct. The hand spins me around with such a great force that I gasp. It's the drunk blond guy. "I said I wan'ed ter dance," he growls through clenched teeth. My heart rate picks up tremendously after he slams my back against the brick wall. He quickly invades my personal space, taking no time to get right up in my face. "And when I say I wanna dance, ye dance." His breath reeks of alcohol and smoke. I scrunch up my nose in distaste, momentarily forgetting the situation I'm in.

"Let go of me!" I demand weakly, my voice wavering in fear. He scares me and there is no way I can break free of his hold. I squirm under his hands anyway, futile as it is. "And now, I think I wanna kiss. And when I want that, I get it, too." His tone is ominous, and if I had any doubts before hand, which I didn't, now I know what his intentions are. And they terrify the living hell out of me. His face inches closer to mine and I feel the urge to scream. I'm about to until the blond boy squeezes my jaw with his hand sending a horrible pain shooting up into the rest of my face. "I wouldn' scream if I were you, luv."

Shaking, I stare into his eyes knowing full well that mine must look like those of a horrorstruck child. Because, really, that's all I am right now. A child. He leans down closer to me, his lips inches from my own. I squeeze my eyes shut wishing that if I open them, this nightmare will be gone. His strong hand clutches my hip, his fingers digging into my flesh in a horribly uncomfortable manner. His other hand is wandering in places I never want anyone to wander. Let alone this guy. My hands are trembling uselessly at my sides, still pinned to the wall. His lips just barely brush against my own before he's suddenly gone. There are no longer abusive hands on my body, nothing restraining me, just nothing. My eyes fly open.

The blond guy is facing off against someone. He's circling his opponent, eyes never leaving his face, narrowed into slits. I never get to see who my saviour is because the next thing I see is black.

"Sadie, Sadie. Wake up, my angel face," a hushed voice pleads. The pain in my head is tremendous. Groaning, I slowly blink my eyes open. The first thing they meet are John's concerned ones. All of their walls are down, his emotions flowing freely from them. Relief flits across them, lightening the dark shade of brown to a warm hazel. He tucks a loose hair behind my ear and smirks down at me. "Thought ye were a goner there fer a minute, luv." He teases me in a light-hearted fashion. Grumbling, I mutter, "Wouldn't _you_ like that?"

"Aw, 'ey now. I was only jokin'. 'Ere, lemme 'elp ye up." He slips a hand under me, resting it under the small of my back. I grip his other hand tightly as he pulls me into a sitting position. All of a sudden everything that just happened rushes back. "Oh my God! Is he gone? Please tell me he's gone." I rush in a panicked state. Eyes hardening, John jerks into a standing position. I gaze up at him. Stu and Paul appear at his sides. The two help me gently to my feet. Niether let go seeing as I'm still too shaky to stand on my own. Stu rubs a reassuring hand against my back. Paul leaves me with him and walks over to John. I follow Stu's gaze and gasp at what I see. The blond guy is laid sprawled out over the wet pavement. His nose is bloodied and a nasty shiner is already forming over one eye. He groans and slowly climbs to his feet. He stumbles in our direction. Before anyone has the time to react, John darts out from the shadows and his fist meets the guy's jaw with such a force that you can hear the impact. The guy crumbles to the ground moaning. John stands over him. I wince as he gives him a swift kick to the ribs for extra measure. I'd yet to see John's vioelnt side, though I had assumed he must have one. It's as scary as I'd expect it to be. And at that, I realize that it was John that saved me from this douche. A mixture of relief and happiness floods through me. Thank God he found me. It's just yet another thing I owe him for. With hate gleaming in his eyes, John squats down next to the guy's head and says something into his ear. The tough, now bloodied, guy cringes away from John and whatever words he just spat in his ear. Paul finally recovers from his surprise and rushes over to his best friend.

"John, ye should go 'ome. Now." Paul instructs slowly. He still has a hand on John's arm. John rips free from his grasp. Still in shock from what just happened, I simply stare at the two. I absently notice how John's hands are trembling. His eyes flash with anger. Paul, who seems shaken up, shoots me a pleading look. I suddenly find myself speaking up, "I'll go with him, Paul. Go find Georgie." He breathes a sigh of relief.

John kicks aside a garbage can to vent out his frustration. Shaking his head, Paul runs back inside the club. To be completely honest right now, I'm kind of scared of the pissed off rocker that is now walking away from me. Wait, he's walking away from me?...Oh no!

"John! John, wait for me!" I yell after him. He doesn't stop, he just slows down. I catch up with him. He refuses to even acknowledge me once on the way to his house. I don't feel put out at all though. I know he's beyond pissed so why would I want to bother him? We walk in silence the whole way but I don't mind. I'm used to spending time with this boy by now. We usually don't talk all that much when we're together anyway. I haven't seen much of John lately due to the fact that he was always off with some new girl he'd happened to pick up. Besides Lucy and Pru, John is the closest thing I have to a best friend. I mean, we don't hang out much and I doubt he really thinks much of me, but he has no idea how much being with him saves me. With him, I at least know that there's someone out there that has problems as well, someone that's rarely happy, a music lover, a pessimist of sorts, and someone that shoves their true feelings deep down inside. Spending even ten minutes with him, even without a word having been spoken, I feel better. We both seem to communicate better without words most often. And I pride myself with being able to read him like a book. Usually. Right now I have no idea what he's feeling.

From the corner my eye, I see John run a hand through his hair, nervously. I stop when we reach his front steps. Finally, he turns to me.

"I should get going…" I say slowly, unsure of what to say. He eyes me for a moment. Then, he does something totally unexpected. John Lennon throws his arms around my waist in a tight hug. It takes a second for it to sink in before I hug him back. I tuck my face into his chest and he sighs. "I'm sorry…" he murmurs so low I almost wonder if he even said it. He lets out a shaky breath and holds me closer to him. His hot breath tickles the skin on my neck. "For what?" I wonder. He pulls away just enough for me to see him shake his head. I forget about it and turn to leave.

"Wait. Sadie, please-please don' leave," he begs in a small voice. I hate to see him look so suddenly defeated. I nod and find myself in John's house. I watch while he falls backward onto the couch and covers his face with his hands. "I fucked up real bad, didn' I, Sadie?" he groans. I nod but then realize dumbly that he can't see me. I sit on his legs and he gives me a 'what the hell' expression. Shaking his head, he says softly. "Thanks fer bein' 'ere, Sadie."

"Now what, are we just going to sit here?"

He looks at me with a lost expression, "Um…I 'ave no idea. Ye just calm me down, and right now I really need that, believe me."

"Oh I do," I smirk.

The next thing I know, John and I are eating out of a half gallon container of ice cream. I take another spoonful and shove it in my mouth. I let the chocolate melt on my tongue. It tastes amazing. John and I share some light conversation about new songs or ideas for the band, and pretty much anything besides what had gone on tonight. None of that is ever mentioned. And it's nice. He scoops out another spoonful and looks at it thoughtfully for a second. The next second, he flicks it at me. It hits me square in the face and I just glare at him in shock first. I reach out and smack him gently. He just smirks, but it's not his usual. It's not unkind, it's rather happy.

I wipe off my nose with a napkin he kindly fetches for me. He chuckles at my disgusted expression. "You are a child," I complain. He rubs his jaw thoughtfully with one hand. "I thought I was a swine." I snort, "Right. Yes. You most definitely are." The corners of his lips curve upward into a slow smile. Shortly, we return to eating the ice cream out of the container.

"Sadie?" John whispers quietly.

I glance in his direction but then return my gaze to the ice cream on my spoon. "Yea, John?"

"Do ye-do ye ever think about dying?" he questions in a small voice.

That is probably the last thing I expect to be asked, and by John no less. I think about it for a minute. "Sometimes, I suppose. Why, do you?"

"Yea. Act'ully, I do. Are ye 'fraid of it?"

I take a lot longer than the last time to come up with an answer. That's a really tough question. "I don't think so. Not really. I think that the only reason someone would be scared of dying is because they know they haven't lived their life the way they should've, you know? Death is only to be feared by those who have not lived life to the fullest. What about you?" I say honestly, turning my head slightly toward him.

"I'm not afraid of death because I don't believe in it.  
It's just getting out of one car and into another," he says easily as though he came to this conclusion long ago.

"Really?" I wonder with an underlying tone of skepticism. He glances at me and his calm expression wavers, "Well, maybe I'm a little nervous. Not about being dead though."

I wriggle closer to him, "Then what are you nervous about?"

He goes so long without answering that I decide he isn't going to answer my question until he murmurs, "I'm really only 'fraid a _how_ I'm gonna die. Ev'ryone I've known that's died've gone in a pretty bad way, ye know? What if I do, too?"

I reach over and place a comforting hand on his arm, "I don't know, Johnny, I don't. But I do know that you shouldn't dwell on it. Live life and don't be afraid to." I'm silenced by my own words when I realize how much that simple sentence means to me. Had I not done exactly that I wouldn't be having this conversation with this amazing boy. Don't judge me on how sappy that sounds, I mean it.

John inches closer to me and lowers his face to mine. "I don' think so my angel face."

I quirk an eyebrow in interest. "You don't?"

"Nope. I can' follow advice from someone who doesn' practice it themselves," he answers simply. I take an extra second to collect my breath before responding since his closeness has me unsettled. "I do follow my advice."

"No. Yer only just startin' ter. But baby steps, Sadie, baby steps."

"I am going to smack that smug little smirk off of your face, Johnny." I threaten him darkly. He doesn't look too concerned.

"Alright. Fine. So shall we continue are suddenly deep and thoughtful conversation?" He bats his eyelashes in a girly manner earning yet another scowl from me. Out of nowhere, I wonder aloud, "Love."

"Huh?"

"What do you think of love? Probably not much if you're always off with some new girl nearly every night. Am I right?" I say this bluntly. After today it really doesn't bother me.

"Hey, hey. Don' judge me. But since ye did, you 'ave ter tell me what ye think of it first," he scolds defensively.

"Fair enough. Alright. Well, I don't really know. I mean, I know I loved my family. So I know that kind of love exists. I've felt it. Not in a long time, but I've felt it."

"Hmmm. Yea, I guess so. But ter be 'onest-I don' believe in it."

"You-WHAT?" I ask in shock. "You don't believe in love? How can't you? I mean, isn't that what we're supposed to always have to look forward to? At least that's what all the movies say. I don't really know myself."

John lets out a great sigh. "Yea, movies. Not real life. But, Sadie, that's not the question ye should be askin' me, though. It's how _can_ I believe in it? My parents left me. At least yours didn' want ter leave ye. Mine abandoned me, Sadie. An' Mimi isn' exactly the most lovin' person, though she does care fer me. But I know I won' ev'r fall in love. That's just ridiculous. Don' know 'ow anyone can believe in that."

"I guess you have a point."

"But?" He urges in exasperation, knowing that I have more left to that thought.

"But you should give it a chance."

"Hmm. No thanks. I've survived without it fer 18 years. I think I'm good."

"Fine then. Go on being you're cranky, cocky self. See if I care."

"Ah, but my angel face, ye do. Ye care." He smirks at me knowingly. The smirk doesn't quite meet his eyes though. After that we fall into a comfortable silence. He refuses to meet my gaze but I can tell he's hiding something. I can see it in his eyes. They're guarded and distant. He must notice how I'm seeing past his answers so he adds jokingly, "An' besides. Who would wanna be stuck with one person fer the rest a yer life anyway?"

"John! I'm 'ome!" a voice calls out. We jump in fright. John freezes. His frantic eyes meet mine. I tilt my head in curiosity. I understand without explanation when his aunt, Mimi, comes strolling into the living room. I remember how panicked John had gotten the other day when he thought she might come home to find me in the house. He made it clear that Mimi had a strict rule against girls in the house. She continues on for a second or two before coming to an abrupt halt. She is a tall, thin woman with an angular face. Her dark hair is pull up into a neat bun and her gray eyes flick from John to me in a rapid motion. He opens his mouth as if to explain, but no words escape from it. Her eyes narrow in my direction and I meet her hostile gaze. Then it softens suddenly as she sees John gulp and set down the tub of ice cream. I honestly think she's more shocked that he's with a girl and getting caught merely eating ice cream with her. I'm sure she's walked in on worse when it comes to John. "Hmm, Johnny," she drawls slowly, "Can I speak with ye fer a minute? In the kitchen?"

John nods sheepishly and looks to me apologetically. I get up as he does, "I should probably go..."

He whips around, the uncertainty and panic from earlier once again present in his eyes. "No! Don't leave. Not yet. Please." Startled by his sudden outburst, I retake my seat. I sneak a glance over at his aunt to see her eyebrows arched high into her forehead as if his reactions startled her as well. She seems to shake it off and leads John away from me. I nervously fiddle with my skirt, only now realizing that the white fabric is smeared and spattered with dirt, grime, and, well, some blood. I must look a sight to John's aunt. Great. Way to ruin another first impression.

I let out a deep sigh and close my eyes while willing myself not to replay tonight's events. Shuddering, an image of the scary blond guy flashes before my eyes. I curl up into the couch, tucking myself into a ball. John returns with a shy grin. He sits down beside me. "Well," he breathes, "She's not completely pissed at me. At least she wasn't when I explained that nothing, uh, 'appen'd 'tween us. I had ter...explain about what 'appen'd ternight. Sorry, it's just-"

"It's fine, Johnny. Don't worry yourself over it. Though, I really should get going now. Really this time. It's going to be a long walk back."

"Well, see, that's the other thin'. Mimi said ye could stay 'ere fer the night. She got all motherly sayin' 'ow she doesn' want ye goin' out at night on yer own after what 'appen'd ternight. So, will ye?" He sounds a bit shy about all of this. I dare to glance up and meet his eye. He offers a tentative smile. Though he doesn't know it, he probably couldn't have said more perfect words than those ones. I agree easily and yawn. His smile widens considerably. He reaches a hand up to my face, but pulls it away sharply when I gasp. "My God, John!" I exclaim in horror. Wincing, he examines his hand himself. They are dirty, trembling still, and caked with mostly dried blood. My stomach flips knowing that most of it probably doesn't belong to him. His knuckles on his right hand are split open, too. It's painful for me just to look at them. "Let me clean that up, Johnny."

Reluctantly, he agrees to let me. I follow his instructions as to where I'll find what I need. He makes a face at the items in my arms. "I 'ate that stuff. I'll be fine, luv."

"Shut up, no you won't."

"But I can' play me guitar if me 'and's all bandaged up!" John does make a good point. I, however, don't care. Well, I do, I just don't want to see his hand get all infected because of me. "You know, you didn't have to punch that guy. You'd wouldn't need me to bandage up your hand if you hadn't." I speak calmly as I can, trying not to let how shaken I still am show through. He doesn't appear to notice much to my relief. I take a washcloth and gently wipe away all the blood from his hands. It's silent while I do this, save for John's little cries of protest if I accidently sting his split knuckles.

"An' I did 'ave ter," John says quietly after awhile. Pausing my cleaning, I glance up. He continues on, my confusion evident. "I 'ad ter 'it 'im."

"Why?" I wonder, completely forgetting about cleaning his hand. Not that he minds, of course. John's eyes are soft and laced with some angsty emotion I've never seen in them before. "Because." He states the word simply like it explained everything. "'E 'urt ye. That's not okay."

My heart melts at this. He went all psycho on that guy because he hurt me. And he couldn't let that slide. My pulse quickens when he brushes his fingers across my cheek. His hand comes to a rest on the side of my face, his thumb stroking my cheek rhythmically. My eyes close on their own accord and all I can focus on is the feel of his touch and the electricity it ignites within me. I haven't felt this aware of my senses in so long. And he's only barely touching my face. Where did these feelings suddenly come from? Unsettled, I jerk away quickly, my eyes flying open. "I-uh-" I stutter lamely not finding an explanation for my reaction to his gesture. "I should finish up." This causes him to finally drag his eyes away from mine. I pick up the bandages from where I drop them on the cushion. My heart rate slows to its normal speed now that his eyes are no longer boring into mine. With still shaky fingers, I slowly and expertly wrap up his bloodied knuckles. When my job is done, he keeps his hand in mine. I do everything I can to avoid looking into his eyes. The only thing that makes him pull his hand from mine is the sound of someone clearing their throat. We whip our heads around to see Mimi standing in the doorway with her arms crossed in a disapproving manner. I peek a quick glance at John from the corner of my eye. I'm barely able to conceal the grin on my face seeing the unblushable John blushing furiously under his aunt's stare. Breaking the awkward silence, I speak up in a teasing manner, "See, Johnny. It's not so bad. Right?"

He turns his head to me slowly. His eyes meet mine with an annoyed look in them. "It's awful, if ye must know. But yer 'ere, so I s'pose it ain' all bad, my angel face."

I hold a menacing finger in his face, "You have really got to stop calling me that. Seriously. It's so irritating!"

"All the more reason not to stop, luv. Thanks fer this. I think." He jerks his now bandaged hand up before standing up. Mimi nods a good night to us both and retreats up the stairs. "You're welcome. And thanks for letting me stay."

"No problem. Uh, there are blankets right there and a pillow, too. And, uh, if ye need anythin' my rooms the door on the right. G'night, Sadie." This awkward, uncertain John is quite adorable. A faint blush creeps onto his face when he mentions his room to me. Smirking, I suggest, "Is that an invitation, John? You know I'm not that kind of girl." His mouth falls open in shock and he soon has himself backtracking. "No, no. I just-I meant-it was-" Laughing, I smile. "Easy there. I'm only joking. No need to get yourself all flustered. Though I do think it's a good change of pace. You being the flustered, not the flusterer."

"Now yer just makin' no sense, luv." He grins shyly. I nod, yawning. "I'm aware. I'm tired. So, good night, Johnny-Boy." Without any other acknowledgement, I collapse onto the couch and curl into a ball. Chuckling, John smiles down at me. My eyelids already feel heavy, the exhaustion this night's brought finally catching up to me. A blanket falls over me, encompassing me in a much welcomed warmth. In the dark room, I'm able to see John kneel down beside the couch. I can feel his breath ruffle my hair gently. He whispers good night in my ear before disappearing.

The sound of creaking floorboards pulls me halfway out of my deep sleep. Convinced it's nothing, I keep my eyes close and lie there on the couch cocooned in the blanket. Light footsteps shuffle slowly toward where I'm sleeping. Thinking I'm only dreaming, I ignore it. The person sits in front of the couch where my head rests. For awhile I think I've fallen back asleep because the person's been so quiet. Only when I hear a sad voice murmur gently, wistfully, "God I wish ye were awake. Ye seem ter 'ave the answer ter everythin', dontcha? But what about me? Do ye 'ave the answers _I _need? I don' know what I'm feelin' an' I don' like it. An' they're makin' me 'ate me own friends when they're around ye. I just need some answers, Sadie. Nuthin' makes sense anymore. An' I wish-I just wish-"

I never do figure out what he wishes. Or why I let him think I'm asleep. But either way, I still feel the ghost of the kiss he presses to my lips.


	16. You Really Got A Hold On Me

**_A/N: HELLLLOOOOOOOO! Guess it's been quite awhile hasn't it? Well, I figured while I'm not at home I should prolly write something for you guys. Plus I missed you all;) I added another chapter(obviously) but I also changed some things in chapter 15 because I forgot to add them in. I feel a little dumb for forgetting it because it's a leeeetle(a lot) important to the end of this chapter. Soooooo..._**

**_READ CHAPTER 15 AGAIN BEFORE YOU READ THIS ONE!_**

**_Thank you:) Hope you guys enjoy this and I hope you've all had a great summer. I know I have;D And try not to think about how school starts in only a couple more weeks(*shudder). Freedom is ours until then! Sorryyyy, but I hate school. Please review! you know they make me happyXD_**

Chapter Sixteen

John groans and rolls over on his bed. The old mattress creaks under his weight and the sunlight shining through his window refuses to let him fall back asleep. The clock on the wall opposite his bed reads 9:00a.m. He never gets up this early, try as Mimi might to wake him. Knowing the opportunity for him to fall asleep is gone, John sits up and rubs his eyes in an effort to fully wake himself up. This doesn't really seem to work but the glimpse of curly copper hair fleeing down the pathway to his house surely does. He rushes to the window just in time to see Sadie close the front gate. She anxiously looks over her shoulder several times as if worrying that something's following her. John watches her retreating figure until it disappears from sight.

Collapsing back onto his bed, John lets out a great sigh. Unlike any other time, he finds himself wishing he had chased after the girl instead of watching her sneak away. At that thought he smirks. This time around it wasn't him that left without a word, it was her.

"John! John, are ye up yet?" Mimi's loud voice drifts up the stairs. Grumbling, John stands and gets dressed. His aunt meets him at the bottom of the stairs, arms crossed, eyebrows arched high up into her forehead. Pretending not to notice her expectant posture, John ambles into the kitchen and starts going through the cabinets in search of food.

"Young man, do ye care ter tell me what that was all about?" Her voice is demanding, not questioning. John is thankful she can't currently see him because he flinches. "No, not really."

"John," she drags out warningly. "Fine, fine," he sighs. "What do ye wanna know?" He carelessly drops a bowl onto the wooden table and pours some cereal in it. He plops down on the chair and waits until Mimi sits across from him to meet her gaze.

"I want to know who that girl was."

"I toldja last night. 'Er name is Sadie. Sadie Rigby." John chews his cereal slowly in waiting for the next question. "How do ye know 'er?"

"I met 'er when Paul, Georgie, an' I were comin' back from London. On the train. There were no other seats so we sat with 'er. We started talkin' an' she listened ter us play fer a bit."

"So if ye met on the train, ye started seein' 'er…."

"No, no. It ain' like that. No, I convinced her ter come see us play at the Cavern one night. After that I started seein' 'er more. She hung out with the lads an' me the next day. Then I'd run inter 'er a lot by chance."

"Oh, I see. But ye went ter London months ago. Why wouldn' I have 'eard a 'er before now?"

John takes a thoughtful pause to figure out the best way to explain this. "Well, see, she lives in London. She's only been 'ere twice. This is her second time. She got here Saturday."

Mimi holds up a hand to silence him. "Wait, wait, wait. So yer tellin' me that all that 'appen'd last night an' ye've really only known 'er a few days put together?"

"What do ye mean, Mimi?"

She looks at him in disbelief. "I let a girl stay in this 'ouse last night! Ye know I'd never let that 'appen. But I said yes 'cause a the way ye panicked when she got up ter leave. I figured ye must've known 'er quite some time ter react like that."

John's eyebrows knit together in a genuinely confused expression. "Like what?"

"Johnny, I thought ye were gonna cry if she left. That or just break down. Ye were really upset last night. Why was that anyhow?"

"Oh, well, some arse, uh sorry, _guy_, tried to…take advantage of Sadie. In a dark alley. I'm sorry Mimi, but I couldn' let that slide. Think I broke the bugger's nose. I don' know what came over me, but all I could think about was that I had to protect 'er, ye know?"

Mimi doesn't say a word. She instead looks over John with a sharp eye. The eye of a wise, aged woman. "Ye fancy 'er, dontcha?"

John, completely caught off guard by the question, nearly chokes on his breakfast. Coughing, he answers, "What? Where did that come from?"

"Answer the question, Johnny. I can tell, ye really fancy 'er. She seems a bit odd, but I'm sure what 'appen'd last night was the reason. She seems sweet."

"Whoa there, Mimi. I do not fancy 'er. She's a-she's my…" but John can't find a word to call her. He's not quite sure what she is to him. Calling her a friend just doesn't seem like it's enough, but what else is there to call her? "Well, I don't know what she is, but it ain' like ye think."

"Which is the exact reason I think ye do like 'er," Mimi states matter of factly. John eyes her suspiciously. "Now yer makin' no sense."

"Ah, but I am. I'm not gonna lie, Johnny, I've seen the way ye act toward other girls-yer an arse." She pauses to smirk a bit, leaving John more than a little shocked. "But yer actually treatin' this girl well. An' yer not tryin' anythin' on 'er. Least not that I noticed. I think you have actual feelings fer this girl an' that yer showin' them by respectin' 'er."

There is a long round of silence before either of them speaks. It's John who breaks the quiet spell, naturally. "Mimi, even if any a that nonsense ye just babbled on about was true, I still wouldn' even know what the hell it is I'm feelin' anymore. I just don' know. An' ever since I met 'er I tell all my problems ter Sadie. But, how am I s'posed ter ask her 'bout them? My feelings? Especially if they might be 'bout 'er?"

Mimi reaches a thin, pale hand across the table and places it over his own. She refuses to let him drop her gaze while she says, "I don' know, Johnny, but if they are fer 'er, well, then I'd say they're worth figuring out."

* * *

The train hits a rough patch on the track and jolts me back to reality. I'm back in London. In hell. Again. Oh joy. The train screeches to an abrupt halt. The man seated beside me smiles kindly and retrieves his bag from the overhead compartments. I sling my faded green bag over my shoulder and slip out the door. People shove past me as I make my way down the aisle of the train. Finally, I manage to reach the stairs and touch down on the platform. The second I do a voice cries out my name. I freeze in surprise when Lucy appears out of nowhere.

The blond tackles me with a hug and we receive several dirty looks as this causes us to bump into people. "I missed you, Sadie! Glad you're back," Lucy cries dramatically. Smiling genuinely, I say more or less the same back, though I don't mean the part where I say I'm happy to be back. "Oh, and I brought you a surprise."

Before I can question her, a small body attaches itself to my leg. In confusion, I glance down. An even wider smile spreads across my face when I see the familiar brunette. Annie smiles up at me, giggling. "Hey there, hon. Miss me?" She nods enthusiastically. "Don't leave again, okay?"

"I probably won't, hon, don't worry." I say this sort of sadly. Knowing this could very well be true, I wish I had said good-bye to John. Though, I suppose it is better I never got the chance because I hate good-byes.

Annie holds my hands as the three of us walk back down the familiar streets of London. Lucy stops to buy us some lunch. Annie runs off to the counter to buy some candy with the money Lucy gave her in order to have a chance to talk with me. "So…what happened this week?"

My face grows red at the question and at what I know the answers will be. "Um…"

"Come on, Sadie. Spill. How's John?" She leans over the table toward me, eyes focused on mine. Her straw makes a slurping noise as she drains her soda.

"Well…we kissed. But not for the first time. And I'm 95% sure the other was a dream. It had to be." Didn't it? I mean, there's no way John would just kiss me while I was asleep. Where's the fun in that for him? The only reason he does stuff like kiss me is to see what my reaction will be. Besides, he's not the kind of guy that would ever say things like that. Ever. So I've passed it off as nothing more than a dream. And I've decided that I won't think about what it means for me if I actually did dream that up. And I figure the reason the kiss felt so real is because he's kissed me before so I know how it feels. Right?

"Wait. WHAT? You two kissed! How'd that happen?" Lucy shrieks. I shush her, my face growing redder than ever before. "Yes. We did. To be fair we were both almost drunk that time." At least John was, but she doesn't need to know about me. "And it was New Year's Eve…"

"Oh my goodness! This is groundbreaking news, you realize, Sadie! This is good. So how was it? The kiss?" she exclaims excitedly.

"Wha-huh?"

"The kiss. How was it? Is he a good kisser? He seems like he might be, what with all those other girls he must have."

"Um, I'm not entirely sure how to respond to that."

"Well, it's not like you've never kissed anyone else. How was it compared to the others?"

My blank look is probably what shuts Lucy up for a couple minutes until something suddenly dawns on her. "You haven't been kissed before that, have you?"

My silence is her answer. "So that bastard stole your first kiss! I'll punch him for you. I can't believe he did that. What right does he have to go around stealing innocent orphans' first kisses when he barely even knows them after he meets them on trains and takes them to beaches and clubs and sings to them? Ahhh! I hate that little fucker!"

"Lucy! Child right here!" I scold sharply, covering Annie's ears. Lucy blushes slightly but naturally isn't phased in the slightest by her little run-on sentence rant. "And it wasn't quite like that, anyway. It's hard to explain."

"Still, he had no right to taint my beautiful new sister with his foulness and there are only two ways for him to make this right."

Now she's spiked my interest even though I don't actually believe a single word she's saying. "Really now? Do tell."

"Well," the blond begins overdramatically, "One, you get to punch him in the face. And that would be my pick if I were you. Or two, he has to kiss you, like really, truly kiss you like the way they do in the pictures and the girl's foot pops sorta kiss to make up for the fact that he stole your first one."

Some sick and confused part of my mind wanders off on the possibilities of the latter. I mentally slap myself and shake my head at the both of us. "Um, yea, sure. Great options, Luce. For the first one, I'm not a violent person, so…scratch that one. And as for the second, well, I'd prefer to forget the fact that he kissed me at all, let alone do it again."

"Alright fine, don't listen to my advice. But if that's your response to the latter then was it not a good kiss then?" The way her blue eyes are bright and wide reminds me of the way kids look on Christmas morning. "No. I'm not going to say anything about it. Good or bad." But, even though I have no experience with kissing, I'd say it was pretty damn good.

"Fine. Be no fun. So when you going back?"

"Probably never," I sigh in great defeat.

"What! What do you mean?"

"Well, Luce, I've already used up all of my lucky chances. I mean, I've been there twice. And I can't believe I've been there even that many times. Even thinking about going again would be pushing it. I just shouldn't think about it. If I don't, I won't be so disappointed," I explain with a sad tone.

Annie bounces up to our booth and slides in beside me. Lucy falls silent for about five seconds before she sighs, "Wow. That was the most depressing thing I've heard in a couple weeks. You don't really think that, do you? That's well depressing, Sadie. Really, it is."

I offer a small smile. "Yes. Yes it really is."

* * *

"John. John? John!" a very frustrated Paul shouts. Georgie rolls his eyes in annoyance. John jumps out of his day dream with a start. "What? What?"

"Ye just played one note fer that entire song. What's wrong, mate?" Paul is genuinely concerned for his best friend. He's tried to ignore the fact that John's been acting a bit different lately. At first he passed it off as nothing, but now Paul's wondering if something's wrong. Ever since Sadie left the last time he's seemed a bit off. John would go days where he'd be completely sober and avoid any contact with a member of the opposite sex. Then on other days when he seemed a bit more bitter and a bit more angry, he'd get so drunk that he'd pass out right in the clubs or on a bench somewhere in the city and he'd hit on anything with a skirt as well. It's just how much more erratically his moods can change that's worrying Paul.

John shakes his head as if to clear it. "I dunno. Maybe yer singin' was so off that I couldn' follow 'long."

"Nope. 'Cause I know ye John and that wouldn' make a damn difference ter ye."

"Fine. I guess I'm just tired. Should prob'ly go 'ome. See ya later lads." Without another word, John picks up his guitar and walks out. Paul and Georgie look after their friend with concern.

Mimi is up waiting for John by the time he returns home. "'Ey Mimi," he greets halfheartedly. Mimi glances up from her book, glasses on the verge of falling off of her nose. She pushes them up and squints at her nephew. He flops onto the couch across from her and sighs. "What's wrong Johnny?" she wonders. A wave of unexpected wistfulness hits him when she calls him by that name. He realizes that it's because Sadie has been the only one to really call him Johnny. Sure, the lads call him that, but it's only in a joking manner.

"Ye miss 'er. Dontcha?" Mimi smirks knowingly. John jerks his head toward his aunt. "Huh?" Chuckling to herself, Mimi shakes her head at him. "Ye miss that girl, John. I can tell."

"That's not it at all, Mimi." Really though, John's starting to think it might be. It's weird for him to think that he actually misses someone, and a bird no less. But he can't seem to get her off his mind for some reason. Hopefully going to the club with the lads later will set him straight.

* * *

Paul immediately disappears into the crowd after a short blond leaving Georgie alone with his idol. John sighs and shoves past people to get to the bar. His favorite bar tender isn't there so the new guy makes him the wrong drink. Of course, just to add onto the shitty week. Faaaantastic. He miserably downs his beer without a thought. Poor, shy Georgie sits beside him surrounded by drunks and smokers. The ever angry John is oblivious to this all. A long legged copper haired girl with a tight dress steals the stool next to his. After ordering a drink and eyeing a brooding John, she speaks up, "'Ullo, 'ullo. The name's Margie."

Lazily, John turns his head and scans her body from head to toe shamelessly. Something about the color of her hair and her obvious height confuse John. Little stupid things he's never noticed before about girl's are suddenly blatantly obvious. Like the color of this bird's hair. It seems to strike something in the back of John's mind. Shrugging the thought off, he orders another beer and returns his gaze to the bird beside him. "John."

She boldly reaches a hand out and runs her fingers through his hair. He doesn't react at all to it. "So John. Do ye wanna dance?" The boy blinks a few times. "No." Margie gives him a pouty frown with her abnormally large lips. "Well, what else can we do?"

Becoming more himself and breaking out of his off mood, John cracks a smirk. "Well, luv, there's plenty." He winks, but before he can elaborate, her mouth is on his. This stuns him. No bird is ever quite this forward. Not with him. And he isn't too sure he likes it. As soon as she starts kissing him it feels all wrong. She's much too forceful and it feels quite like she's trying to eat his face. All the same, he still wraps an arm around her and pulls her in. They ignore the shouts of protest and disgust of the others at the bar. Only when she runs her hands through his hair does he pull away. Something about her doing that freaks him out. It just feels all wrong. He jerks away from her as if she's burnt him. And in some ways it feels like she has. Without really thinking, he shoves her away with enough force to send her into the side of the bar. Margie glares at him in disbelief. "What the 'ell? What's wrong with ye!"

Panicked that there really is something wrong with him, John shakes his head. "I'm sorry, I-I don' know. I gotta go." With that, the flustered boy bolts from the club.

Outside in the freezing night air, John tries to collect his thoughts. What just happened? Why did he shove that bird away when she ran her hands through his hair? That's perfectly normal. Though, he can only really remember when Sadie did it on New Year's. Wait_. New Year's? Sadie? Oh dear God, _he thinks. Sadie. Yet another thing ruined for him because Sadie is on his mind. Big surprise. Seriously though, how can he go on with life if he freaks out when a random bird does something Sadie did _once_?

"Shit," He mutters aloud. "Mimi's right."

* * *

Ms. Kollins shouts, "I'm leaving now, I'll be back in the morning." I hear the door slam and breathe a sigh of relief. A whole night without her here. It's as much like heaven to me as Liverpool is. I pick Annie up off the floor and bring her downstairs. She plays with her teddy bear on the couch next to me until I hear the doorbell ring. Suddenly, the heavy burden of running this place falls back onto my shoulders. I haven't had sleep in two days either. I feel wonderful.

I open the door slowly. "Yes?" I yawn, not even bothering to look at who is there. What difference does it make anymore, anyways?

"Sadie?" a strangely familiar voice asks. I look up in surprise to determine who belongs to the Scouse voice. My eyes widen in recognition. "Stu?"

"An' Paul, as well." Said boy steps out from behind Stu. Both boys look pretty down. Paul glances down at his feet. His large brown doe eyes are rimmed with red. Stu's are as well.

"What are you guys doing here?" I question curiously. "It's so good to see you!"

Neither of them talk. "Boys. What's wrong?" I have to ask. Something is clearly wrong. Why else would these two boys be standing on my porch looking like they've both been crying.

"Sadie. We came ter come brin' ye back. Please?" Paul explains slowly. Stu runs a shaky hand through his dark chocolate hair. "What? What is it?" I demand. Stu sighs. "It's John. His mum-she died," Paul chokes out. He seems like he's about cry.

"Wait. What? She's-she's dead?" I'm shocked. That's so unexpected. And what about John? He's gotta be crushed. I mean, he always talked about how into music she was and how well they got along. And he's been so excited that she and Mimi are finally getting along.

"She was walkin' 'ome an' a drunk driver hit 'er an' ran.

"That's horrible. But why do I have to come with you?"

Stu glances at Paul who nods. "See, well, we need _you_. Or, rather, John does."

"Huh? Why would he need me of all people?" Really, why?

"Because Sadie. Yer the only one he ever talks ter. An' don' tell 'im we ever said this, but 'e's been callin' out yer name in 'is sleep, real worried soundin'. We figured if anyone could 'elp 'im, it'd be you, ye know?" Stu says this slowly and somewhat sheepishly.

I'm still confused. They are his best friends and I'm just some random girl he met a couple of months ago. "Okay. But still. Why does he need help?"

Paul and Stu both avoid my gaze for awhile until the former murmurs, "Well, see, we can't find 'im."

"WHAT?" I shriek. "What do you mean?"

The musicians wince at my question. "Uh. Well, 'fore that 'appen'd 'e wouldn' leave 'is room. Then we went ter visit 'im two days after it 'appen'd an' 'e was just gone. So we figured that yer the only person 'e likes that 'asn't tried ter talk ter 'im. That is if we find 'im…"

"How could you not go look for him? Why would you come get _me_ instead?" Neither boy looks like they thought of this. "Uh, we, well-"

"Sadie! Oh my gosh you'll never guess what just happened!" an excited voice screams from the sidewalk. Lucy comes sprinting up the pathway leading to the door. She stops short as soon as she sees the two boys standing to the side of me. Her blue eyes grow as wide as the moon when she realizes who they actually are. And then her cheeks turn to the color of rose upon meeting Paul's troubled gaze. "Lucy," he greets sadly, yet warmly. She giggles softly and beams at him. "So what's going on?"

"They want-need me to go back, Lucy." I turn to look at my friend. Her flirty smile falters and her eyebrows rise higher while her eyes grow wider. "What? Why? Will she let you go? Oh who cares, you can't go."

I fiddle with the cuff of my faded blue sweater. "I have to go though. I don't care what she'll do. He needs me." My voice has a nervous tone to it. One I hate to have. I'm really quite scared of how bad the consequences will be when I return, but at the moment, John is much more important to me than a couple more cuts and bruises.

"But Sadie. You can't just leave. That's proper crazy! When will you get back? How will you get back?"

"I don't know." I tell Lucy. To Paul and Stu I nod and say, "Give me five minutes to pack.

* * *

Paul, Stu, and I burst in through Mimi's front door calling out for her. The thin woman comes rushing into the hallway. "What on Earth-"

"Mimi, is John back yet?" Stu demands frantically. She shakes her head in a startled manner. "Damnit. I'm gonna kill that bastard when 'e shows 'is bloody face again," Paul threatens darkly as he kicks the air in frustration. Mimi turns away, her shoulders tight with built up with the tension and stress of the situation. She runs a hand over her hair to smooth it down. Then she finally notices me. "Who-" she begins in a tired voice, pointing at me. Stu pipes up, "Oh, this is-"

"Sadie. That girl John brought 'ome that one night. What are ye doin' 'ere? I thought 'e told me ye lived in London?" She sighs in distress.

"Yes, I am. Paulie and Stu came to London to get me. They thought I could help John. That is if we find him. But I don't see how I can really do anything for him," I explain to the distraught woman. Something I said must strike a chord in Mimi because she suddenly comes out of her distress and smiles at me. "Believe me, hon', you can do _everythin_' fer 'im. We just 'ave ter find 'im first."

"But Mimi. We've looked everywhere. All the pubs 'e goes ter, the Cavern, the beach, even the park. But it's just like 'e disappeared. He innit anywhere," Paul despairs running his hands roughly through his hair.

"What about the lighthouse?" I wonder aloud. "Did you look there?"

"Where?"

"A lighthouse?"

Just one look at their blank faces tells me all I need to know. "Okay, I know where he is. Don't worry. I'll have him home. Just give me some time with him. I'll be back." And with that, I take off in search of John.

* * *

The steps on the ladder creak as I make my way slowly up them. I prepare myself for what I might find up there. With one last deep breath, I pull myself up out of the trapdoor. I sit on the edge of the floor of the door. John is leaning against the railing looking over out at the water.

"Hi Johnny," I call out gently. He whips his head around in shock. "Jesus!" I offer a little shy wave and smile. He turns back to the dark, starry night. With his head in his hand I think I hear him mutter something along the lines of, "Christ, now ye really are mental. Congrats, mate."

"Sadie. Wha-how-"

"I knew you'd be up here. No one else knew what I was talking about when I suggested the lighthouse," I say to break the awkwardness of John's curious stare.

"Wh-when did ye get back?"

"About two hours ago, I think."

"What are ye doin' 'ere?" he asks.

I tilt my head in curiosity, "What? Liverpool or the lighthouse in particular? I'm here because I heard what happened. To your mom."

He lets out a short, harsh laugh. "You an' ev'ryone else, luv. What makes ye think ye can do anythin' they can't?"

"Absolutely nothing. I'm still not sure why they all think I'll be able to help. So, I guess I'm here because you were there for me," I shrug simply.

"What? When?"

"When weren't you? When I was alone on the train, when I finally broke down about my parents, when that guy tried to hurt me. I mean, you're there for me. So the least I can do is be there for you. Even if it means sitting here awkwardly while you get drunk and ignore me. That could work too."

Despite himself, John cracks a sad smirk. "Shush, you."

"Sitting here awkwardly it is."

"Sadie?" I look up. He smirks, "Shut up."

"Gotcha."

John collapses onto the ground in a sitting position. He sits there quietly for a few minutes actively ignoring me. Then, suddenly, he speaks up, "What am I gonna do, Sadie?"

"About?"

"Me mum. I mean, I only just got to know 'er. An' just like that, she's gone? Is she, though? Is she really gone, Sadie? How do ye know?" he questions in a tired, broken voice.

"I don't really have an answer, but, I think you already knew that," I answer sadly.

"She's never comin' back, is she?" he asks with such an honestly innocent voice that it makes me want to cry. I shake my head as a single tear rolls down my face. The tear isn't for his mom, but rather for the look on his face when he finally realizes that she really is gone. The look of absolute sadness. "John?" I whisper. "Do you need a hug?"

The only answer I receive is his outstretch arms.

* * *

"So…why are ye 'ere? Ye never actually told me," John points out, breaking away from our long hug. By long I mean about half an hour hug. It was a much needed one as well.

"For your mom."

"But ye wouldn' come all this way just fer that. So why? And how?"

"Do you need to know?"

"Sadie. Just tell me why yer 'ere," John demands. His eyes are bloodshot and he reeks of the alcohol that's been soaked in his shirt for over a day now. His usual armor of cockiness and selfishness is shattered. The only thing left is a sad, broken boy.

"Paul and Stu came to London to bring me back."

"Why?"

"Well, they said you were missing. And that they thought I could help. Don't know how, but…"

John slides closer. "Did she let ye come?" There's no need to ask to know that 'she' is Ms. Kollins. "Not exactly."

"An' that means?"

"See, she wasn't exactly there when I left…"

"Oh Sadie," he sighs deeply. "Why would ye come? Ye know what this means fer ye when ye get back."

"But Johnny. You're more important to me than that is. I mean, what's one more cut or bruise?" I voice my thoughts from earlier that day. "If it means I get to help you, I'm alright with it," I say resolutely. And I mean every word of it.

"No, no, no, Sadie!" he exclaims in distress. His eyes are wild and he runs his shaky hands roughly through his hair. "Oh my sweet Sadie," he murmurs, cupping my face delicately in his hands. "Don' ever say that. I'm not worth goin' through all that. I'm not really worth anythin'. Never will be either. But you-" he pauses as he searches my eyes. He gazes into them forever as if looking for something. This gives me time to stare into his chocolate eyes without him teasing me. Then he offers me the most heartbroken smile I've ever seen. "Yer special, Sadie. Yer worth dyin' fer." I smile sadly. "Ye don' believe a word I just said, do ye?" I shake my head firmly. He drops his hands from my face and looks away in disappointment. "Oh I wish ye could see what I see, Sadie."

"John, I'm here because of your mother. Not for you to tell me that you're worthless."

"She's gone. An' she's not ever comin' back. See, the first few days me mum was all I could think about. It's still killing me. But I know that she'd be mad at me fer bein' like this. And what I'm tryin' ter say is that the reason I ran from the funeral, from my family, from my friends, well-it was you."

"_Me_?"

"I ran because I realized that the only person that I wanted-needed right then was you. Still are. Not Paul. Not Stu or Mimi. But you. A random girl I 'appen'd ter randomly meet. But I thought about it up 'ere awhile an' realized it's not random at all. And I thought that it was random 'ow people started blaming my attitude for the past couple weeks on the same thing. But that's not random either. So, I've come to a conclusion. One I made as soon as I saw yer face pop up outta that trapdoor."

"And what's that?" I wonder curiously.

"I'm in love…I think," he nods as if trying to convince himself that he actually knew what he was talking about. Not at all what I expected. I nearly choke on my own spit. "I-I thought you didn't believe in love."

"Well, I didn'. But I think this person changed that. She's really got a hold on me."

"Did she now?"

"Yes."

"And who is this girl?" I ask, not really wanting to know. I realize I've some to care for this boy a lot more than I should.

"Do ye really 'ave ter ask?" he wonders in surprise.

"Well, I don't exactly make it my life figuring out which dumb girl made you change your mind about love," I snap somewhat bitterly.

I can see John trying to conceal a smirk, the corners of his mouth itching upwards. "Oh, ye don'? Always thought ye did, luv. An' why ye callin' yerself dumb?"

"I do not," I say standing up suddenly. Frustratedly, I stalk off across the lighthouse to the trapdoor. John finally reacts when only my top half is visible above the trapdoor and I shout, "And I am not dumb! Those girl's girls you fuck are!" In a huff, I take two more steps down the ladder till only my head and shoulders are visible. John scrambles over to the trapdoor and grabs my hand. "Sadie."

"What!"

"Think about it, luv. Think about what I said. _Yer_ not a dumb bird. Which is exactly why ye were able to change me mind."

That last line makes me stop. My eyes flash upwards to meet his. For the first time since seeing him again this past hour his eyes are warm and bright. Yet, at the same time, they are also a bit bashful. Wait. He can't mean-

"I love you, Sadie," he murmurs sweetly. "I mean, I don' really know what it is I feel. I don' know if I'm in love or not. All I know for sure is that it's fer you. All of its fer you."

And with those words said, and me still more than halfway down the trapdoor, John leans in and kisses me in exactly the way Lucy suggested he should.

* * *

**_A/N: Soooo...watcha think? Is it horrible? acceptable? decent? good? let me know people, I can change anything you want if it's not what you hoped. I'm open to suggestions:) Well, this is goodbye again until i get home because it was hard enough trying to write this. I mean with working 12-17 hour days and internet that works five minutes at a time(if at all) it's quite a challenge. So enjoy and review! Please?_**


	17. I Love You

**_A/N: Okayyy. So i know its been foreverrr since I last updated. No i did not forget about you guys, i swear. I just had a lot of other things. New school, new people, new me. All the funnn stuff. Anyways, i hope you all had a kick-ass summer. i realize that its kinda late to say that but i do mean it. I know i definitely did;) It was filled with all kinds of amazing Europeans, my best friends, and horses3_**

**_Oh and I met my two new best friends at my new school because we were all wearing Beatles shirts. They're a little scary sometimes though because they are amazingly even bigger fans than I am and I'm the one writing a story about them...;)_**

**_Anywaysss, here's the next chapter(obviously) and I really hope you like. Pretty much all Sadie/John...yayyy! Hope you enjoy:)_**

* * *

_Chapter Seventeen_  
_I Love You_

John's hands leave my face and trail down my sides until he wraps his arms around my waist. Then he pulls me up and out of the trapdoor. Since he's still kissing me, it doesn't quite as planned and we both end up in a heap. John rolls over so he's lying on top of me, his body shaking with laughter. He runs a hand through my curls and smiles down at me. I can feel my cheeks heat up at the way he's looking at me. "This is awful," he groans softly. I look up at him in hurt. "I can't stop smilin'. An' I 'ave so many butterflies flutterin' 'round in me stomach, I feel like I'm gonna be sick." His words give me butterflies of my own. Smiling yet again, John leans down and steals another kiss from me. I wrap my arms around his neck and gaze up at him. We stay like that for a while, eyes locked on one another. Eventually John rolls onto his side and sits up. He pulls me up into a sitting position. Then he gets up and fixes his sleeping bag that lies a couple of feet away. While his back is turned to me, I scramble to my feet and sneak up behind him. I stand up on my tiptoes and place a tender kiss to the back of his neck and wrap my arms around his waist. I lean my head against his back. He stiffens before slowly rotating around in my arms. All he does then is lock his arms around me and pull me tighter to him. He presses his lips against the top of my head. "I love you, Johnny," I murmur happily without even thinking about it. He sways me gently from side to side and he simply whispers, "Thank you."

* * *

John runs his fingertips up and down along my bare arm. He has been doing this and placing kisses against my neck for the past hour or so. "Johnny, you really are worrying everyone. You should go back," I tell him. His lips pause on my neck. Reluctantly, he pulls them away. "But what if I want to be here? With you? _Just_ you?" he asks. "I know. But they need to know that you're okay. I mean, Paul and Stu were so worried they went all the way to London to get me. I think you should go back."

John stays silent for a couple seconds. "But if I go back now, then I can't do this." He demonstrates by kissing me. I pull away as soon as he tries though. He pouts childishly and even whines. "Sa-die. I just want to be with you right now."

"I get that, John. Let's say this. If you go back with me now and show everyone that you're okay, I'll..." I trail off thinking of something to convince him.

"I'll go back if you'll spend the night with me," he declares suddenly. A dark blush creeps onto my face. "Look, John. I don't-" He vigorously shakes his head. "No, no. It's not that I don't want you in that way, because I do, but all I mean is that you stay with me tonight. I've been left alone with myself for three days, it's not healthy for me. Is that okay?"

Still blushing, I shake my head, "I don't know. Mimi doesn't even let you have girls in the house I don't think-" John cuts me off by saying, "Fine. I'll go back. But one thing..." I'm not so sure that I want to know what this one thing is...

"Every time I see a duck, I get to kiss you."

* * *

"Had I known how many ducks are in Liverpool I never would have agreed to this, Johnny," I growl as he grabs my hand again to guide me through the trees outside the lighthouse. So far we had spotted four ducks. In two minutes. This is ridiculous. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining about John kissing me. In fact, every time he does my heart goes in to overdrive and I fear it will explode. But I am so nervous that he realize how much of an inexperienced idiot I am and decide that what he's finally feeling isn't love afterall. And because he'll soon see ducks that are around other people, those people will see it too. And I don't know if I can take that.

"Oh, look, another one!" John cries out happily. I look around, "Wait a minute...There's no-" I don't finish because this time he wraps his arms around my waist and swings me around in a circle while he kisses me. Setting me down, he chuckles evilly. I glare up at him with crossed arms. He ignores my disapproving look. "Aww, come 'ead my angel face. I couldn' resist. Yer so..." He steals yet another quick kiss. I roll my eyes and start walking away.

Just as I tuck my hands under my arms to warm them up from the chilly breeze, I feel a coat being laid across my shoulders. John smiles proudly as I slip my arms into the sleeves. He drapes an arm over my shoulders and pulls me to his side. I sneak a quite glance up at him. What I find, I'm not really expecting. His eyes are gleaming with triumph and happiness and the smile on his face is the largest one I've ever seen him show. And, while it's incredibly faint, I can still detect the rosy hint of a blush on his cheeks. Giggling like an overexcited school girl, I throw my arms around his waist as we continue to walk down the sandy beach. He gazes down at me in surprise but acknowledges my action with a smile. When we get to the road, John drops his arm. Before I can react, he reaches down and twines his fingers through mine.

Luckily we don't run into any ducks on the way to his house. Just before we get to the brick house, I reluctantly pull my hand from John's. He seems upset by this. "John. If you want me in your house when we get there I think it's best that Mimi doesn't find out quite yet," I explain. He sighs before nodding in agreement. We turn up the path to his house and he opens the little gate for me. The red door is ripped open and a tearful Mimi appears. "John?" she cries. The boy beside me nods and rushes up to his frail looking aunt. She throws her arms around him in a tight hug. He returns it and I can tell that Mimi is scolding him even as she's hugging him.

Paul and Stu step out of the house and meet my gaze. Stu winks approvingly and Paul smiles knowingly. Mimi backs away from John and turns to go inside, letting him know to follow after in the next few minutes. Once she walks past Paul and Stu, the two of them run down to where John and I are standing. Stu gives me a quick hug whereas Paul makes a beeline toward the older boy, grabs fistfuls of John's jacket and backs him against the wall and holds a fist in front of his face threateningly. "Lennon, I'm goin' ter cripple ye. Where the bloody 'ell were ye! Ye just packed yer bag an' left!"

John shrugs. "I wasn' thinkin'. S'not like you two were any help, whut was I s'posed ter do?" he smirks, causing Paul to just glare at him furiously. "Ye know, if ye 'adn't come back with Sadie, I'd woulda found ye an then ye'd be in a grave by now."

"If I were dead, who'd 'elp fix yer shite songs?" John chuckles while Paul just throws his hands in the air and backs off. "I just don't understand whut goes on in that sick 'ead a yers."

John leans in, "An' I don't think anyone ever will, Paulie."

The dark haired boy rolls his eyes and returns to Stu's side. "So where'd ye find 'im, Sadie? Curled up in a ball with a bottle glued ter 'is mouth?" Paul smirks.

I shake my head. "Nope. I just followed the rainbow," I giggle, smiling as John rolls his eyes to cover his barely noticeable blush.

"Rainbow? Do I wanna know?" Stu questions curiously. Him and Paul let out a laugh. I can't help but join in, especially when John's cheeks grow a shade darker.

"Fine. Don' tell us," Paul chuckles.

"Alright, I won't then." It feels so good to be back with these boys. The mood is mostly light and happy. I haven't smiled like this since the last time I was with them.

"Alright, ye've 'ad yer fun now, happy?" John says, rolling his dark eyes. "Truly overjoyed," Paul attempts to say with a straight face.

"Whutever. Look, I'm sorry I left without tell'n ye, alright?" John apologizes. His apology causes George and Paul's laughter to come to an abrupt end.

"Wuz that-wuz that an actual apology from John Lennon, Stu?" Paul gasps in fake shock though it is very unusual for John, I'll admit. Georgie nods, "Aye. Think it is. Fancy that, Paulie."

"Ferget it,"John huffs.

"No really, whut's next?"

"Yea, next ye'll tell us yer in luv Sadie 'ere an' confessed yer undy'n luv to 'er. Ha-ha," Paul nearly sings in a very off key girly voice with his hands folded in front of his heart. He adds in an unnecessary, dreamy sigh at the end.

The two boys stop laughing when they see how red the two of our faces get. I can tell they know the second John sends a fleeting look my way.

"Seriously?" Paul squeaks, "I wuz only jok'n."

"Wait. You two?" Stu asks in shock. I bury my face in my hands to hide my face. John shifts uncomfortably in his place beside me, "Uh, yea."

"I wuz only jok'n, mate," Paul repeats slowly. Then, he suddenly laughs. "But Jesus, finally! I thought ye two were never gonna figure it out! Our John Lennon's got 'imself a real bird! Ha! 'Magine that, Stu."

"Sod off," John mumbles, taking my hand and pulling me away from the laughing boys. I walk with him into his house. He drops it when we get inside. "Sorry about that…" I start to say, looking at the white walls rather than him.

From the corner of my eye, I see him turn his head toward me. "Fer whut?"

"Paulie and Stu."

He stops me in front of the kitchen. "Why would ye be sorry? Ye think I'm embarrassed that yer me girlfriend?"

"No, I guess not…."

"Sadie, yer amaz'n. I'd never be embarrassed," he tells me, then pauses for a few seconds, "Though, if ye don't mind, could we keep it quiet that I actually tol' ye I loved ye? I do, it's just…wull-I'm John Lennon." He smiles hopefully. I roll my eyes but kiss his cheek, "I suppose. But you'll have to do something for me in return."

"Such as?"

I whisper softly into his ear, "Nothing you would mind all that much, I'd imagine."

He sends me a pleading look when I lean back because he knows I'm only saying those words to tease him. I smile innocently in response to his narrowed eyes. I know he's not really mad at me. He's just playing.

"I 'ave a feelin' yer gonna be one in'trest'n bird."

"Oh, but I already am," I wink just as Mimi makes her way into the kitchen. We instantly move away from each other and look to her. She squeezes my arms and gaze at me. I glance at John in horror. She couldn't already know, could she? Oh my God, I'm so dead. I'm gonna die.

"Thank you so much, darlin'. I don't know how you did it. Not only did you find my boy, you brought him back happy. Well, happy for him at least," she gushes happily. Without warning, she yanks me to her and gives me a warm hug. John, who was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, looks shocked. His eyes grow so wide I am afraid they might bug out of their sockets. "Um, no problem..."

Mimi releases me from her grasp, "Oh, call me Mimi, darlin'."

"Oh, okay. Thanks."

"Well then, John, go find some blankets for Sadie, here. It's already 7, she may as well stay." Mimi says this with her back turned to us and John's eyes widen even further, if that's even humanly possible. He doesn't say anything though in case she changes her mind.

I smile widely and thank her profusely. She tells me it's not a problem. Though we tell her we're fine, she puts on a pot of water on the stove and gets some hot chocolate ready. The small woman seems to know I can't resist a good cup of hot chocolate.

John smiles at me and I ask, "What?"

Shaking his head, he says, "Nothing, it's just that she loves ye. A lot."

I stand up and wrap my arms around his neck. "Well, I guess it's nice to know that someone out there loves me, you know?"

Smiling, he leans in until his lips are an inch from my own. "Yea, wull she innit the only one out there."

I beam as he says this. Though he never comes right out and says those three words, it still makes me happy to know that that is how he really feels.

I follow him further into the kitchen and he settles on a stool. We wait until we hear Mimi head upstairs. "Hey, so do ye wanna stay? I mean, I can walk ye to Pru's if ye'd rather."

I roll my eyes and make my way over to him, "I know that you aren't really giving me a choice so why bother asking?" He places his arms on the counter behind him and leans back on them. I stand in front of him and he just gazes up at me. I brush my fingers across his cheekbone and leave my hand on the back of his neck. Slowly, he leans up and kisses the corner of my mouth. Then he places his lips on mine for a second. We pull apart long enough for him to wrap his arms around my waist and pull me to him. Smiling, I lean down and kiss him. I can feel his smirk in his kiss. I just know it's there. One of his hands moves up to cradle my face gently. At the sound of the door being swung open, I pull away quickly. John smirks at my blush and nods a greeting to Paul and Stu.

"I 'ope ye know ye really fucked up our plans by goin' off ter where ever it was ye went, John. We 'ad a gig lined up at the Cavern but we 'ad ter say no 'cause we didn' know where ye were. So don' do it again, clear?" Paul says disapprovingly. There is a smile on his face, but his large brown eyes are serious. Then he turns to me, "But don' get me wrong, I'm 'appy ye an' Sadie finally figured it out."

"So am I. I missed you guys," I say to let him know I'm not offended. Stu flops onto the stool to the right of John. He receives an undeserved glare from John and I know it's because he's rather upset we were interrupted.

"So ye two are together now..." Stu trails off, seemingly unaware of the look John's shooting him. Neither of us respond.

I shrug and turn to John when my other two favorite boys raid the fridge. "So, have you come up with an ingenious plan for what the hell I'm gonna do yet?"

Sighing, he gets to his feet slowly and kisses my cheek. "Don' worry 'bout it, luv."

"I'm sorry but that's not going to cut it. I mean, I left without telling anyone but Lucy. And what about Annie. What is she gonna-" John silences my rant with a kiss before I start to seriously panic. The kiss only lasts a short second, but his intentions for it work. I take a deep breath and apologize.

"Ye'll just stay with me an' Mimi, an' I'll try to figure it out. If ye want, a course."

My response is throwing my arms around his neck. He chuckles and slips his arms around my waist. He kicked Stu and Paul out and grabs my hand. We head up the narrow staircase and make our way down the light blue wall. He stops at the last room and pushes the door open. Though he says it's his room, I can't really believe that. The pastel color walls clash with his dark personality and it's cramped. There's only one window and all you can see out of it is the dirty wall of the house next door. Everything about the room just seems to be the opposite of the kind of person John is. Yet somehow it's cozy.

"It's not much, but…" he trails off.

"It's perfect. But what about you?" I wonder where he will stay if he expects me to take his room. Smirking slyly, he pulls me down onto the bed and pins me under him. "Whut, don' tell me yer shy 'bout sharing the bed now luv. That would make too many of me fav'rite activities rather difficult. If ye know what I mean," he smirks, wagging his eyebrows suggestively down at me as his hand crawls up my skin under my shirt. Slapping at his hand, I struggle to get out from under him, but my attempts are hopeless. "You're a swine, John. Now get off!"

He places a kiss on my lips before he does what I told him to do. He simply rolls the both of us over so I'm on top of him. "Don't do that, okay?"

"Whatever do ye mean, luv?" he asks with clearly fake innocence seeing as he unsuccessfully attempts to slip a hand up the back of my shirt.

"Stop."

"Why?" he pouts playfully, giving it another go. I glare at him until he stops. "Just please don't do that okay?" I ask softly, but continue to smile. "Now, if you don't mind, I think I'll go to bed soon. But not with you."

"Oh but I 'ad much more…pleasurable plans fer the two of us, luv," he grins devilishly. I slap him playfully and tell him to get lost. He sighs and stands up. "Stay up, will ya? I 'ave ter go talk ter the lads right now, but I should be 'ome bye ten."

I nod, already feeling my eyelids drooping despite his request for me to stay awake. As soon as I hear the door click shut I curl up on top of the blankets and bury my face in the fluffy white pillow. I inhale deeply to find that the pillow is covered in John's cinnamon scent. Before I know it, I'm fast asleep.

Not quite fully awake, so therefore unsure of what is going on, all I can think to do when I feel lips on mine is to kiss back. Strong arms snake themselves around my waist and in response, I wrap my arms around his neck. I feel him kneel on the bed before lying partially on top of me. I can feel his tongue trace the outline of my lips requesting permission for entrance which I quickly grant.

Our kiss and position are far from innocent. His hand slides up under my shirt but I don't tell him to stop this time around. Instead, I actually pull him closer to me. Though I'm completely out of breath, I can't find enough willpower to keep me from kissing him. He pulls away from my lips just to kiss all the way from my mouth to the nape of my neck. A near silent gasp escapes from me when he nips at my neck. I know I must be blushing furiously, especially when we hear a soft knock on the door and a muffled voice asking, "Johnny, I'm going to bed, so I just want to make sure you found some blankets for Sadie."

Reluctantly, and rather slowly, I might add, John detaches himself from me. "Wull, if that's 'ow ye react after an 'our nap, I can't wait till mornin'," he smiles and pecks both my cheeks before jumping off the bed and leaving his room.

I roll back onto my back with my heart racing. Still breathing unevenly, I run a hand through my hair and smile to myself. That boy sure knows how to unsettle me.

After talking to Mimi for several minutes while John searches for something in the basement, I find myself back in John's room. I walk around just to take it all in. I sit on his chair at his cluttered desk. Without touching anything, I look at the countless piles of papers and notebooks piled on the oak desk. I look at the things taped the wall in behind it.

The drawing of the swan that he stole from me seems to be the center of the other papers. There are pictures of him and George and Paul, some in front of buildings and a few from the Cavern. I see the picture he snapped of me when he stole Paul's brother's camera for a day. I'm staring out at the vast ocean with my hands stuffed in the pockets of John's jacket. The crisp wind had blown my curly hair back gently. Honestly, I think that day was the best time I've spent with him. The thing that makes me really smile is the picture of all four of us skipping down the street, arms linked and laughing. I remember how the three of them had started singing We're Off to See the Wizard in very off key and high pitched voices.

Underneath my drawing is a wrinkled piece of paper with John's familiar handwriting scribbled across it. As I read it, I realize it's a song he's written. Across the top, a title is sketched out. Free as a Bird. I figure it's fitting seeing as it's under my swan.

_Free as a bird,  
it's the next best thing to be.  
Free as a bird._

_Home, home and dry,_  
_like a homing bird I'll fly_  
_as a bird on wings._

_Whatever happened to_  
_the lives that we once knew?_  
_Can we really live without each other?_

_Where did we lose the touch_  
_that seemed to mean so much?_  
_It always made me feel so..._

_Free as a bird,_  
_like the next best thing to be._  
_Free as a bird._

_Home, home and dry,_  
_like a homing bird I'll fly_  
_as a bird on wings._

_Whatever happened to_  
_the life that we once knew?_  
_Always made me feel so free._

_Free as a bird._  
_It's the next best thing to be._  
_Free as a bird._  
_Free as a bird._  
_Free as a bird._

Knowing I probably shouldn't, I pick up the tattered notebook that is lying on top of one of the numerous piles. Slowly, I flip through it in awe. There are several song lyrics, but there's also poetry. And it's beautiful. One of the poems actually puts me to tears. I can only guess it's about his mother, Julia. I feel like I'm right there with him, feeling all the hurt he's feeling. He's truly an amazing writer, whether it is songs, poems, or stories. That's the part that makes me smile. A guy like John, who is a complete ass most of the time, is able to write poetry that can put people to tears.

I place the notebook back onto the pile it came from and look at all the drawings and doodles he pinned on his wall. Most of them seem to have been torn out of the pages of notebooks, no doubt ones drawn during school.

I stretch my arms over my head as I stand up, yawning. Glancing at the clock, I see that its 10:34p.m. Rather ungracefully, I flop onto John's bed and feel my eyelids begin to grow heavy. I bury my face into his pillow and inhale deeply. I curl myself into a ball with my eyes closed.

The low hum of the streetlamps and passing cars find their way into the room. Mimi's opera music seeps in from the under the door. I can picture her sitting in her chair, glasses nearly falling of her nose, and eyes intently focused on the book in her lap.

"'Avin' an early night, luv?" a voice whispers in my ear. My eyes snap open in surprise. John's quiet chuckle comes from above me. I look up at him and scold, "Don't do that. I was nearly asleep."

"Which is exactly why it wuz necessary. It's not even eleven. An' besides, yer s'posed to be on the couch in the livingroom. Mimi," John smirks and holds out a hand to me. I simply stare at him in attempt to make it clear that I have no thoughts of getting out of this bed. "Come 'ead, luv. Don' ye wanna 'ave fun?" he tries with a hopeful expression. I burrow further into the sheets to make my point. "And besides, your definition of fun is going to clubs and getting boozed up and finding girls."

He places his hands on the bed on either side of me and uses them to brace himself when he leans over me. I gaze into his dark eyes thoughtfully. I twirl a lock of his hair around my finger absently.

"Then whut _is_ your definition of fun?" he wonders, pulling me out of my thoughts. I smile innocently which receives a somewhat worried look. "I think it would be easier to show you," I manage to say seductively. I lock my arms around his neck and pull him down to me. I kiss his surprised lips before he has a chance to react. Once he realizes what I mean, he kisses me hungrily. I allow his hands to roam my body before rolling on top of him. Smiling, I sit up and pull away to see his face. "Ha-ha."

I feel him sigh deeply from under me and he looks at me exasperatedly. "Really, luv? Do ya 'ave ter do that?"

"Whatever do you mean?" I smirk and brush my fingertips along his cheekbone. He gazes up at me silently and holds my hand against his cheek. I place a quick kiss on his lips and smile. He rolls his eyes and places his hands behind his head as a pillow. He gazes up at me in wonder. "Sadie, will-will ye-" he begins but ends up shaking his head. "Ferget it."

"What?"

He blushes and smiles sheepishly, "Um, do ye think ye can stay? With me? Tonight?"

I pause and then roll off of him. I prop myself up with my arms and look down at him. "Um..."

"Look, I swear it's innocent. I won' be a dirty swine as ye'd put it. I just don' wanna be alone." There is no way I can say no to that. Looking at him now and seeing the sad face of the boy I've come to love made me remember how horrible he must be feeling. He's been so much more smilely than normal today, that I've nearly forgotten that he just lost his mother. He hasn't talked about her so far so I guess it drifted to the back of my mind. I nod and slowly slide down and settle on the bed beside him. "John, I really-"

I don't get to finish because he suddenly places an arm over my waist and drags me to him. "I'm sorry, I just-" he stops himself and just buries his face into the crook of my neck. I free one of my arms and bring it up to his head. I run my fingers through his hair again and again. He holds into me like if he let's go I'll disappear.

"Thank ye, Sadie. Ye really 'elped terday. I mean, ye kept me so happy that I nearly fergot what 'appen'd. But it just hits me at the most random times, ye know? She's gone. Just like that. An' she ain't ever comin' back," his voice is low and full of sadness and it cracks a little in the last sentence. It's horrible to hear him sounding so sad. So I hug him tighter and kiss the top of his head. "I know, Johnny, I know."

I think that's when reality really hits him hard. For me, it took a lot longer to fully understand since I was so young. But John, well, he knows exactly what it means. And, like in most cases, his seemingly unbreakable armor of hate and arrogance breaks like shattered glass. There is nothing else for me to do than to simply hold him. No words can make things better. No song. No poem. No story. And as soon as John Lennon begins sobbing in my arms, I know that I'll be the only person that can help him through.

* * *

I wake up in a daze, not really sure where I am or what happened. I keep my eyes shut for awhile, still tired yet unable to go back to sleep. My heart starts racing and my eyes fly open when I feel something move beside me. My eyes instantly zoom in on the source of the movement. My head calms but my heart only speeds up when I find John sleeping soundly. His cheeks are stained with tears still but he looks rather peaceful otherwise. Now that I'm fully awake, my mind recognizes the fact that his arm is lying across my waist and our legs are all tangled up. I relish the realization that, unlike the first time we woke up like this, this isn't breaking any 'just friends' rules. In fact, it pretty much proved that we are more than 'just friends'. And to be honest, the feeling of waking up in someone's arms knowing that they don't want you anywhere else is the greatest thing in the world. So great, in fact, that I suddenly know I don't deserve it.

So, seeing no other choice, I carefully lift John's arm off of me and place it at his side. Untangling our legs proves to be much more difficult. Several times I find myself catching my breath when he moves in his sleep. At long last though, I am finally free. For the first time I can remember, however, I'd really rather not be. Just as I sit up and try to stand, a hand grabs my arm and holds me in place. I whip my head around to see John staring up at me sleepily. His face is still half buried in the pillow and only one of his eyes is visible. "No, I'm the one that leaves 'fore the bird wakes up. Now get back in bed, Sadie," he half mumbles, half yawns.

I shake my head, "John, I don't deserve this. You. I should go."

That certainly wakes him up. He flies off the bed faster than I thought possible. "What on Earth are ye talkin' 'bout! Don' ye dare think that. Ye deserve ev'rythin', Sadie. If anythin', it's me who doesn' deserve you. Now take some of my high self-esteem an' come back ter sleep fer Christ's sake."

I debate about it for a minute or two. In the end, my teenage heart wins and I crawl back under the blankets with John. I snuggle up to him to get warm and I feel his body shaking with silent laughter. "Oh, ye silly bird. Don' ever think fer one second that ye 'aven't managed ter become the center a my whole world."

* * *

**_A/N: Well, there ya have it. Another chapter. A little late but it's better than never, right? Hope you liked it, and if you did, please let me know and review! And if you didn't, tell me what I can do to make it better._**

**_And suggestions are still very welcomed. Till next time my friends=)_**


	18. I'll Be Back

**_A/N_:_ OH MY GOODNESS IT"S BEEN SOOOOO LONG!_**

**_ Hahaha sorry about that by the way. I hadn't meant for it to be so long. But as usual, I got distracted by things, you know, life, shiny objects, ponies, etc. It happens;) anyway i've also had absolutely no idea what to write forr this either soo...yea...but i finally did. I'm not gonna lie when I say i'm not crazy about this chapter. I apologize if it seems like it jumps around a bit, cause it kinda does. And I had most of it written down in this notebook that had all my ideas for this story in it and i can't find it anywhereD8 so most of what's here are the parts of what i remember. which is very frustrating knowing you wrote something but cant remember it. grrrr...it may seem kind of rushed a lil' bit but that's only because there's more important stuff coming up and i'd rather write a lot about that than this little part here, you know?_**

**_Anyways read on my friends:)_**

_Chapter Eighteen  
__I'll Be Back_

A soft knock on the door causes me to jump awake. John stirs beside me but otherwise does nothing but wrap the arm draped across my stomach tighter against me. This makes me smile but I still shove him away from me.

"Mornin' Johnny. You don't have to come out, I just wanted ye ter know I'm leavin' fer Ms. Carr's fer breakfast," Mimi's voice says sweetly from the other side of the door. I jab John in the ribs sharply with my elbow. He jumps up with his mouth hanging open in shock. "Wh-" I nod my head toward the door. "Go out there and be nice to her. You've treated her terribly. It's the least you could do," I whisper sternly. He grumbles to himself yet he makes his way out of bed anyway. Without a word, he slips out the door.

From my spot on the bed, I hear Mimi's surprise at seeing John. "Oh, h-hello, John. I wasn't- I didn't- oh-" John startles her stuttering with a hug. She looks shocked for a moment before the corners of her mouth twitch upwards and she wraps her arms around him in return. "Oh Johnny. I was so worried ye wouldn' come 'ome," Mimi admits in a very uncharacteristic moment of emotion.

John heaves a deep breath, "I know. I shouldn' a gone, but I didn' know what ter do. I'm sorry Mimi."

"Well," she sniffs, pulling away from him, "Just don' do it again, y'hear?"

He smiles widely and nods. "Now," she starts, sounding more serious, "when I return, I expect to find Sadie somewhere other than your bed. Right. Good-bye."

I let out a gasp. How could I have been so stupid? I should have remembered that she would've realized I hadn't slept on the couch like she planned. She is going to hate me. She trusted me enough to let me stay in the house and then she realizes I ended up exactly where she didn't want me. Oh dear...

John's return pulls me from my thoughts. I can tell from the look on his face that he's thinking the same thing though. I notice something else on his face though, and I have to point it out. "My, my, Mr. Lennon. You wouldn't be blushing by any chance would you?" I tease. Childishly, he sticks his tongue out at me as he crosses the room. He flops onto his bed beside me. I laugh happily as he curls up to my side. I lie back down on the bed and roll onto my stomach. Turning my head to the left, I watch him wriggle around, all tangled up in his sheets as he tries to get comfortable again. I roll my eyes at him when he finally notices me watching him. "What?" he wonders. I just shake my head and smile. Early this morning when John told me how important to him I was, that really meant a lot to me. And I realize that I had fulfilled my stupid dream from that question my teacher had asked so long ago. "Nothing. It's just-"

"Yea...?"

I could feel the heat creeping up onto my cheeks. Instead of looking at him, I gazed down at the blanket as I admit, "Well, you see, before I met you, a teacher asked us what our greatest dreams were. And, at the time, mine was to-well...it was merely to mean something to someone. To actually be important to someone. And this morning-when you said that I was the center of your world," I smile so widely it actually hurts a little at that thought, "Well that kinda made it come true. And it's stupid, but still..."After a few seconds of silence, I glance up at him. Before I even get the chance to really, his lips come crashing down onto my own.

* * *

"Oi! Lovebirds! Time ter get outta bed. John, we gotta jam session at Pete's in an 'our an' Mimi'll be back 'fore then!" Paulie shouts up the stairs. My face instantly flushes bright red making John laugh. He pulls on a simple black button up shirt and grabs his leather jacket. I scoot over to the edge of the bed while he shoves his shoes on. "I'll be back 'fore ye know it, my angel face. Or…you could come with us?"

"Actually, I was going to go visit Pru. I'd love to go watch you guys play, but I-" I began. John cuts me off with a quick kiss and with a smirk he bolts down the stairs toward a yelling Paul. Laughing, I look around for my dress. I see John and Paul playfully pushing each other back and forth as they make their way down the street, Paulie obviously teasing the older boy about me. I pull off John's shirt and shorts and replace them with my simple purple dress. After running my fingers through my hair for a few moments, I decide that I am decent enough for the public, so I head downstairs.

Before I reach the bottom step, I hear the front door being pushed open. I come face to face with Mimi for a moment. It seems to take her a second before she recognizes me and then she smiles warmly. "Oh, Sadie. Mornin'. Is John 'ere?"

"He went with Paulie a few minutes ago."

"Oh good, good. I wanted ter talk to ye if that's all right?" she asks kindly. I nod shyly and follow her into the kitchen. "Sadie, I just really wanted ter thank ye. I know I never coulda found Johnny the way you did. And I want to thank ye fer makin' 'im so 'appy. I can whenever it's you 'e's thinkin' 'bout. 'Cause these days it's the only time I see 'im smile. An' I know 'e loves ye though 'e may 'ave a 'ard time showin' it. It's just who 'e is. I'm more than sure ye understand that. An' I'm not entirely thrilled that ye two shared a room last night-ah, don' deny it, little one. I may be old, but I'm not stupid. However, I am not going to dwell on it. I trust that ye'll behave-well, John...maybe not so much," she gives me a knowing wink. "But I'd rather it didn' 'appen again. I do very much like 'avin ye around though. Yer a nice girl, very sweet. And I can see that ye 'ave a good 'eart. An' that's why I want ter let ye know yer welcome 'ere any time ye want. Alright?"

A little overwhelmed by Mimi's speech, all I can offer in response is a small nod. "So, were ye off ter somewhere or...?" she wonders curiously, emptying her shopping bags onto the counter. Shaking my head to clear, I reply, "Actually, yes. A friend of mine lives a few minutes away and I was going to go see her. Did you need any help?"

"No, no. You 'ave fun. But I wuz thinkin' 'bout makin' a nice dinner tonight. Maybe fer the other boys as well. Does that sound alright?" She raises an eyebrow questioningly. Her expression seems to be nonchalant, but I notice a little shyness in her old eyes. I smile brightly and give an enthusiastic nod. "That sounds amazing. I'll help out with the cooking when I get back," I rush happily. Thinking for a second, I sheepishly add, "I mean, if you wanted me to."

Mimi pauses her unpacking and sorting to give me a warm smile, "I'd love that. Now off ye go. 'Ave some fun!"

* * *

"You WHAT?" Prudence shrieks. Wincing, I cover my ears with my hands. "Jesus, thanks for blowing out my eardrums Drama Queen," I grumble sheepishly. The dark haired girl stares at me disapprovingly. "I cannot believe you! You and JOHN!"

Rolling my eyes, I stand up and cross her room. While she processes the fact that John and I are, well...John and I, I sift through her closet in search of an outfit I might be able to scavenge off her while I'm in town. The small girl is staring at me with her mouth hanging open. "I don't like it. He's an arse, Sadie. And you live in London. How do you know that he won't just hook up with some trashy girl at the Cavern some night while your back there? Hmm? He's just going to forget about you as soon as you're outta sight." she snaps in annoyance.

Without warning, I spin around to face her suddenly finding myself angry. "Pru, it's not your decision. It's not really your business. I know you don't like him, but I do, so get over it. Just because Georgie doesn't like you doesn't mean John can't like me. " As soon as I let those words slip from my suddenly vast mouth, I slap a hand over it. The apologies that instantly come flooding out afterward push it away though and I find myself saying sorry in every way I can think of. She simply glares at me and storms from her room. With a silent sigh, I collapse onto the edge of her bed. Her pale yellow walls are still littered with pictures of her friends, old and new, and magazine cut outs of stars and musicians. The sun shines through the big window across from her bed. Her large poster of Elvis is what my eyes finally settle on, though. I feel bad about my words to Pru, I do. And it isn't really the fact that she doesn't like the idea of me being with John that upset me so much. What upset me is that she's right. Who's to say he won't forget me the minute I leave Liverpool. Without being around I'm sure I'll just fade to the back of his mind like I do with everyone else. Sure he says I'm important to him now, but what happens when he's been drinking and some slinky blond walks up to him after he finishes playing. I'm no fool. I know what kind of boy John is, and I can accept that. But that doesn't mean it still won't hurt. Thinking like this is really unhealthy, I know, but what else can I think. Isn't that what really will happen?

In tired defeat, I slowly trudge out the door and down the hall to where Pru is still fuming on the living room couch. Silently, I sit down beside her and curl up into a tight ball as if to shield myself from the future hurt. Seeing me appearing so unnaturally blue, Pru frowns and furrows her brow. With a sigh, she reaches down and I feel her small hand brush back the hair from my face. "I'm sorry Sadie. I was just jealous. Not of John, dear God, not of John. But that someone actually wanted you back."

And so we stayed like that for a good two hours. Her stroking my hair while staring out the window, and me curled up beside her in sadness for the inevitable.

* * *

"So...you an' Sadie, eh?" Stu drags out. John ignores the question and plucks a random string on his guitar. Stu tries again, "How long 'ave ye been together, mate?" Once again, he's ignored. George is in his own blissfully unaware world, plucking a chipper little tune on his old beat up guitar. "Yer bein' good ter her, right, Lennon?"

John simply leans over the couch and shifts the guitar in his lap to snag a cigarette from his friend's pack on the coffee table before him. Without waiting to be asked, Paul tosses the boy his lighter. He runs a hand through his mousy brown hair and sighs in frustration. The song he is currently trying to write isn't going well and it's mostly because Stu can't seem to keep his mouth shut. Meanwhile John, very unlike himself, has barely said a word since he arrived. They are never going to get anywhere with this thanks to Stu's questions and John refusing to answer them.

"My God, you two. Either quit askin' 'im questions or answer them so we can get on with the song, mates! We 'ave TWO days an' you-" he points an accusing finger toward a shocked looking Stu, "need ter shut yer yap. And you-" he growls at John, "need ter start actin' like yer normal arsey self an' help me write this bloody song! Y'hear?" Pete remains uncaring in the corner and checks the time while Georgie sits on the floor looking stricken by Paul unusual outburst. John does nothing but lift Paul's lighter to the cigarette in his lips and light it. He blows out a puff of smoke before throwing it back. Paul catches it and sighs. Stu glares at John from the corner of his eye but doesn't say a word.

"John, can we talk?" Paul asks in annoyance. Silently, John places his guitar gently on the floor and pushes himself up off the faded couch. He follows the younger boy out onto the porch and out of hearing distance of the other boys. He doesn't look at Paul and instead turns his back and leans over the railing to stare out over the back lawn. Paul joins him and waits quietly for a moment. The familiar and comforting scent of tobacco fills his nose when the slight breeze blows it his way. "John, what's the matter?"

"I-I don' know. I feel as though I've never been so depressed, yet at the same time I've never been so 'appy," he admits, his voice rough with the emotion not seen on his sharp features. "Sadie loves me," he murmurs so quietly, Paul nearly misses it. At that, John smiles. "She loves me, Paulie." This time it's louder, more sure. Paul smiles at his best friend's happiness. "But, now mum'll never get to know the bird that actually loves me." Paul smile falters and he's hit with the sudden realization that, despite all his tough words and his hardened exterior, John's still just a human, fragile as everybody else. And having lost his own mother already, Paul knows at least a little of what John might be feeling right then. "Mate, I'm sure where ever our mums are, they're lookin' down at us with smiles an' laughin' at how silly we are cuz we actually think we're gonna make it big. An' I knew yer mum, Johnny. She woulda loved Sadie, don' ye worry. She'd be so 'appy fer ye."

"I know, I know. But, she's not comin' back, Paulie. Not ever. An' much as I wish she won', I know Sadie's gotta leave too. She's gonna go back ter London soon," John sighs defeatedly. "What if she don' come back either?"

That stuns Paul. He knew that Sadie meant a lot to John, but he hadn't really given thought to just how much. Not if John's actually worrying about not seeing her again. He's never seen John this torn up over a bird before. And he can't say that she will return or that she won't. He doesn't have that kind of knowledge. All he knows is his friend and the girl Paul thinks he loves. "John. Ye never know what might 'appen, but don' dwell on it. Just enjoy right now, the present, while ye can, alright? Now-" he straightens up and turns to go back inside. He places his calloused fingers on the old door handle and hesitates before opening it. "I think that's enough 'eart ter 'eart fer the day, don' you? Let's get back ter that song, shall we? I think we should ferget the one we were workin' on an' try somethin' else. Any ideas?"

After awhile John nods and pulls himself upright. He spins on his heel and marches to the door with a little more bounce in his step than when he came out. His unreadable eyes stare into Paul's hazel ones and he says, "Thanks, Macca." And without another word he steps inside and leaves a troubled Paul out on the steps with nothing but the chirping blackbirds. Hmmm...blackbirds...

* * *

My head cleared up a little on the walk back from Pru's house. I began to realize that I had only been thinking too dramatically. I scold myself for being so silly and decide a nice hot shower will be the perfect cure for my dark thoughts. Mimi isn't in the house when I open the door so I head straight upstairs to John's room. I toss the bag of clothes that Prudence let me borrow carelessly onto John's bed. A small smile creeps onto my face when I think of how safe and happy I'd felt last night. The sunlight coming through the window isn't as bright as it was earlier. The pinks and reds of the fading sun would make the perfect painting. To bad all that can be found in the sad worn little messenger bag lying haphazardly on the floor is charcoal and graphite. Shame.

In the tiny bathroom, I turn the water on to hot and wait for it to warm up. Looking in the mirror, I frown at my appearance. The purple dress I don is tattered and faded, my shoes even more so. My hair is a tangled mess of copper curls. I shudder at even the thought of attempting to comb it out right now. My dull green eyes stare back at me boredly. The only thing about my looks that is different than any other day is the smile playing at the corner of my lips. For some reason, no matter what I do, I can't seem to keep it away for very long. And that is a very unusual problem for me. A very good problem to have, I think.

The steaming hot water on my skin feels absolutely amazing. I massage all the muscle that are still sore from sitting in the light house with John and I scrub my dirty hair until my fingers start to hurt. Once satisfied that I am clean enough, I cut the water off and wring out my hair. Blindly, I reach an arm out and grab a towel from off a hook on the wall. A gasp escapes my mouth as the cold air greets my bare arm. Quickly, I yank my arm and the towel back into the warmth of the shower. I rub my hair with it in hopes to keep it from dripping to much when I step out of the shower and then wrap it around my body. Holding my breath, I rip away the curtain and step out. I wince at the cool air and shiver. To warm up, I run my fingers through my hair, finding it much less snarled than I had originally thought it. When finished, I spin around to retrieve my clothes only to find them not there. I face palm when I remember that I left them on John's bed. In John's room. Down the hall. Crap.

Unwillingly to put on the dirty dress I've been wearing the past two days, I chose to make a break for it. After all, no one is home. Still, I stand next to the door and press an ear to it. I don't hear anything. Slowly and quietly, I crack the door open and peek my head out. Once again, I don't hear anything. I take my chance and with one hand holding the white towel up, I bolt down the hallway on my tiptoes. I shove open John's door and scoot inside. I swing it shut and slump against it and let out a sigh a relief that no one saw me in nothing but this stupid towel. The sound of a book hitting the floor makes me jump into the air. "Sadie?" an all too familiar voice chokes out.

I whip around to find John standing at the foot of his bed, dark eyes wide as the moon that is starting to rise outside the window behind him. His songbook is lying on the hardwood floor at his feet. A concerning smirk begins to grow and I suddenly realize that I'm alone with John Lennon in his room wearing nothing but a flimsy white towel. Dear God help me.

My face blushes a crimson red and somehow that heat manages to increase when he starts to make his way towards me. "Um-uh-I-you see-" I stutter rather unintelligently. He only smirks and finally comes to a stop a foot away from me. The eyes that I love so much, the one that seem to see right through me, are now raking their way over my exposed body at an excruciatingly slow pace. I squirm uncomfortably under his intense gaze and wish nothing more than to have the floor simply swallow me up. This stupid white towel barely reaches mid thigh. Why did I have to leave my clothes in here? Why?

My heart speeds up as he inches closer to me. "Um, yea, so if I could just get my clothes-" I squeak in a very unSadielike manner. He smiles but ignores my words. Instead he leans down and places a chaste kiss to my lips. Though still aware of how little I am wearing, that surprisingly helps me calm me down a little. John raises his hands to my face and cradles it gently. My body seems to have a mind of its own because I find myself standing up on my tiptoes to kiss him. John returns the gesture softly and sweetly. I bring my arms up around his neck, one hand dragging my fingers through his hair. At some point, one of his hands moves from my face and sinks down to the middle of my back. His kisses grow faster hungrier, and I love everyone of them. The hand on my back pulls me flush against his body. Even when my toes start to shake from the effort of balancing on the tips, I still don't stop. When my breath comes short and my lungs are screaming for oxygen, I still don't stop. But when that hand travels lower and I feel that gentle tug on the towel, I finally do stop.

I pull away from John gasping for much needed air. He doesn't seem to need it though because he backs me up against the door and continues to kiss me. And I allow it for a moment or two. But then, another little tug. This time it's harder to pull away since I'm up against the door, but I somehow manage to. "John," I breathe quietly. He ducks his head in for another kiss but I turn my head just in time. When our eyes lock, I can see the confused hurt in his. I allow myself a few more deep breaths before I explain, "I don't-wanna go that-far...yet. I'm sorry, Johnny, I just-" I close my eyes to avoid his. I bury my face into the crook of his neck and sigh. It's not long before I can feel his body shaking with silent laughter. "Oh Sadie. Yer amazin', ye know that?" He brushes his lips against my neck. "An' I understand. I just got- a little carried away. I'm sure y'understand. I mean, what with you comin' inter my room with nuthin' but this stupid little towel on." He lets out a laugh and despite how embarrassed I feel I join in with him.

Finally, he backs away and releases me from his tight grasp. I let out a deep breath and try to calm down my thundering heart. Blushing, I try to shove him out of his room but he won't budge. I glare at him and whisper-shout, "Get out John! I need to get dressed." He merely shrugs and flops onto his bed with that ever present smirk. Groaning, I stalk over to the bed and continue to glare. He shows no sign of moving so I grab the closest pillow and slap it onto his face. The innocent fluffy blue pillow muffles his voice as he says, "Fine, I won' look, my angel face. Just get dressed if ye must."

"Yes, I must. And still with the angel face?" I mutter grumpily, grabbing Pru's clothing. Keeping a wary eye on the pillow covered boy, I slip on the clothes. I feel more relaxed now and take the towel and toss it at him. After that I simply leave his room and head downstairs to help Mimi with dinner.

* * *

"John. The last train leaves in half an hour, I have to leave," I inform him softly. He shakes his head angrily, "No. Sadie. Ye 'ave ter stay. Just a little while longer." It had only been two hours since I told him that I had to leave for London. John didn't take that decision very well. At first he seemed hurt, like I wanted to leave him, and then he just got really sad. He knew that I would have to go back at some point. And I figure the sooner I get back the less trouble I will be in. I mean, it's not going to be pretty no matter when I return, although I hope it won't be as severe. "Believe me, John, I don't want to go back. I have to. Annie needs me."

Train whistles sounded off to my right for an oncoming engine. John grabs my hand and twines his fingers with mine. He pulls me to him and I throw my free arm around him. He holds me so tightly I fear he might never let go. Though, honestly I'm not sure that would really bother me all that much. "Sadie, don't leave me," he says again. I sway him side to side soothingly, "But Johnny, if I don't what would I do? Where would I go? I'd be on the run. They'd be looking for me."

"No. Ye can stay 'ere. With us. With me." His voice is shaky and soft. He pulls away from my embrace just enough so he can lean his forehead against mine. Closing my eyes, I inhale his cinnamon scent. I let go of his hand and bring both of mine up. I curl my fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck. "You and I both know that I can't. Annie and the other girls need me." John shakes his head again. "No," he breathes, _"I_ need ye Sadie. I don't wanna lose ye. I can'."

Shocked by his words, I pull away sharply. "Is that it?" I demand. His eyes widen in surprise. "You don't want me to leave because you think you're going to lose me," I explain with newfound understanding. He averts his gaze and sighs in defeat. "Well, it's just-I'm never gonna see me mum again. An' now yer leavin' an' I can' 'elp but think that I might not see you again. An' I don' know if I can take that. What would I do without ye?"

A flood of different emotions attack me right then and all I can think to do is hold him tighter. "Johnny, don't worry. I'll find a way. We'll find a way. This won't be the last time you see me. You couldn't get _that_ lucky." He chuckles and I let out a sigh of relief seeing him cheer up a bit. Another train whistle blows and this time it's for me. Slowly, savoring it, I kiss John's forehead in a silent good-bye. Releasing his hold on me, his smile fades again. With a grim expression of my own, I turn to go.

Just as the first tear spills over and rolls down my cheek, a hand grabs my arm and spins me around. John's lips meet my own in a long, heartfelt kiss. I melt into his arms again and don't ever want to leave. However, the sound of the last bell forces me to. John places a kiss on my cheek to rid it of the lone tear. He offers me a heartbreaking shattered smile. I step onto the train and climb the stairs, never taking my eyes off the boy I now have to leave behind. I took my seat and gaze out the wide window. John's leaning against the wall just opposite where I am. He's got his arms crossed and a blank face. Any passerby would just assume that he's just some teddy boy about to cause trouble, blank face and hard eyes merely just showing his contempt for the people around him. But not me. I could see the pain in that blank face. Blank only to protect the scared boy inside. I could see the fresh sorrow in his eyes, having lost and gained so much in just a short time. Those eyes nearly black with all their grief and heartbreak.

As the train starts to pull away, the tears begin to fall. I hold my hand to the window and catch John's eye. With my heart breaking, I mouth the words I know both he and I need to hear. The only words that might soothe both our pain. "I'll be back."

* * *

_**A/N:**__** Hope you liked it:) Lemme know what you think. it was more of a filler chapter than anything so it's generally rather boring. And if you liked it and want more, I have the next chapter nearly ready to publish. I just gotta edit. So if you want more, let me know:)**_

_**xxRoseByAnyOtherName215xx**_


	19. I Want To Hold Your Hand

_**A/N:**__** Another chapter, as promised:) Thank you soooooo much to all the people who reviewed! You make me so very, very happy. I finally figured out what I want to happen with this story (I hope...O.o) so maybe updates shall be more frequent...ish? I hope:) Well, anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. It was so much easier to write than the last one. **_

**_Enjoy, my fellow Beatles fanatics;)_**

**_Two and a half months later**_

"You got him to say WHAT?" Lucy shrieks in disbelief. The people in the surrounding booths wince at her strident voice and send us dirty looks. Blushing, I gaze down at my half eaten breakfast. "You and _JOHN?_ And you're only just telling me now!" I do my best to shush her when people start glaring again. Pru, who's sitting beside her, laughs. "Still can't believe you've waited so long to tell her, Sadie," Pru scolds me teasingly in a tsk, tsk manner. I turn my annoyance onto her. "Oh yea, because telling someone turned out just so fantastically the first time." She cringes at the memory. Pru didn't talk to me for awhile after that day we just sat on her couch in silence. She sent me a letter about two weeks later apologizing for being such a 'Class A prick', as she put it.

So, here we are in the Corner, Lucy's favorite little cafe, with Prudence in for a visit. And she also has just dropped the fact that John told me he loved me the last time I was in Liverpool casually in our conversation. And I've now sat here for the past 20 minutes absolutely mortified as Prudence tells Lucy every detail of what I told her about my last visit. Fantastic.

"How could you not tell me, Sadie?" Lucy cries in hurt. "I thought I made it very clear that you were supposed to tell me everything that happened last time! When I asked you what happened you said, 'Oh, you know, not a whole lot.'" She huffs in annoyance and glares at me.

"This is exactly why I _didn't_ want to tell anyone. You guys make it such a big deal. And now I know you're going to bring him up all the time-"

"Well obviously!" Lucy interrupts.

"That's just it. I don't want you too," I explain. The curious blond tilts her head questioningly. "Why not?"

"Because talking about him all the time will only make me miss him more," I admit tiredly in such a soft voice they have to strain to hear me. "Awww!" they sigh in unison, attacking me with much needed hugs. Laughing, I smack them, yelling for them to get off of me. We separate ourselves just in time for us to spot the manager eyeing us angrily. With a laugh, we throw the money on our table and head out onto the street.

"I still don't believe that he could actually be that sweet to you though. He seems like such an-" Lucy begins. "Yea, yea, I know." I sigh. I know what she's thinking. "But I'm glad you're happy. But still kinda upset you didn't tell me. Just saying." I apologize to Lucy again and she eventually excepts it. Pru and Lucy get a little bit ahead of me and soon I find myself off in Lala Land.

While it's true what I said about not wanting to miss him even more, that's not really the whole reason I didn't tell her. Some silly, childish part of me wanted to keep those moments with John all to myself when I first returned to London. I felt like if I told anyone then I would lose them. And I really didn't want to lose them. I know it's stupid, but technically I am still a kid, so I can still be childish when I want.

Talking about him again though did make me miss him more though. It was really bad when I first got back. Luckily when I arrived, Ms. Kollins hadn't been there for three days. She still doesn't know I was even gone. All of the girls knew I'd gone somewhere but not one mentioned anything of it to me or her, thankfully. Annie was just as safe and sound as when I left her. Life pretty much fell back into it's usual routine for me after that. The marks on my body were proof of that. The only thing that had really seemed to change was the fact that I had hope. For the first couple of weeks after those three little words from John, I finally had hope again. After all those years. But, once again, time took it's toll on me. I was beaten back into that crippling state of despair. I was worn down to the core again. Once again there are too many responsibilities placed on my weak shoulders. I already started to shake from the weight. There's no way I can go on. Yet, somehow, like always, I pull myself through. I stand as straight as I can with the weight of the world trying to push me back down. It's such an up and down experience. Some days I think maybe things aren't so bad and I get hopeful, but then reality comes back and I get weak again. Lucy and Pru are my only time away from all that anymore. That is, until I have time to myself. Then I find myself dreaming of Liverpool and a certain guitarist...

* * *

Ms. Kollins shouts, "I'm leaving now, I'll be back in the morning." I hear the door slam and breathe a sigh of relief. A whole night without her here. It's as much like heaven to me as Liverpool is. I pick Annie up off the floor and bring her downstairs. She plays with her teddy bear on the couch next to me until I hear the doorbell ring. Suddenly, the heavy burden of running this place falls back onto my shoulders. I haven't had sleep in two days either. I feel wonderful (not).

I open the door slowly. "Yes?" I yawn, not even bothering to look at who is there. The tangled state of my curls and my tattered clothing once would've made me shy about answering the door, but not anymore. Why should I? I am beyond covering up the bruises and the dark circles under my eyes. I did nothing to create them, why should I have to stress myself out hiding them?

"Aww. Ye look like 'ell my angel face," a very familiar Liverpudlian accent chuckles. My eyes fly open in surprise. "John!" I cry in delight, throwing my arms around his neck. I bury my face into his jacket and breathe in that sharp scent of cinnamon I had missed. He returns my hug, letting out a large sigh and drags me to him as close as physically possible. His sudden appearance has made up for everything that has happened since I last saw him.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I ask, pulling away. He pretends to look hurt, "Ouch, Sadie. Is that really a proper greet'n, now? Whateva 'appened ter hey er 'ello? I just came 'cause I was bored. And I might've…"

"Missed me?" I finish hopefully, teasing him. He just smiles.

"SADIE! I want to play-" Annie stops the second she sees John. She hides behind my legs and peeks out from behind them.

John crouches down to her height. "You must be Annie, right?"

She giggles. "I've 'eard an awful lot 'bout ye. This bird 'ere is always goin' on about ye. I'm John," he says softly. She gasps and then giggles again before running off. John stands up slowly. "Guess I don' exactly 'ave a way with kids, do I?" he frowns. I shrug. I don't care about who does or doesn't like him. All that matters to me is that he's here right now. For me. Nothing crosses my mind but my blissful happiness in having him close enough to hold. The warm blanket of protection John always seems to carry with him settles around me like an old friend. I let out a deep breath and smile to myself.

Once my surprise has faded away, I realize I have to hide him before one of the other girls catch sight of him. That could have disasterous results. I grab his hand and guide him toward the stairs. As he follows, he twines his fingers with mine and gives them a slight squeeze. My heart nearly sings in happiness. To me, that small gesture is all I need to know that even though we've been apart, he still loves me. I know that sounds completely absurd, but with a boy like this, the little things are more treasured.

On the second landing of the staircase, John tugs on my hand and stops. I pause and turn to him. Smiling, he backs me slowly up against the wall. He lifts a hand to my face and tucks a strand of unruly hairbehind my ear. His intense gaze causes my cheeks to turn slightly red which only makes his smile grow. "I missed ye, Sadie," he murmurs. Sighing, I lean forward and rest my face against his shoulder. Closing my eyes, I feel his fingers comb through my hair. "I 'ate not knowin' 'ow ye are, luv. It kills me."

"It kills me too. It really does," I sigh sadly, knowing all too well the truth of my words. I lift my head and open my eyes to gaze up into his. There's a bittersweet sort of sadness in those dark eyes I love so much. I can tell it's because he's here with me now but knows that it probably won't be that way for very long.

With excrutiatingly slowness, he lowers his head, his lips so close I can feel his cool breath on my own. My battered heart has come to life again since his arrival an now it's racing so out of control that I'm afraid it just might burst. The closer we get, the faster it beats. It's so perfect a moment, so sweet, so overdue, and so about to be spoiled by a certain little girl.

Annie comes barreling down the stairs. "Sadie! Saaaaaaadie!" she sings. John looks at me wistfully and I'm sure my expression is much the same. Trying not to show how unsettled I am from what she just disrupted, I turn to Annie, avoiding John's gaze. She beams seeing she's found me. "Sadie, Sadie, look it. It's him! It's him!" The six year old holds out my sketchbook. Sure enough it is a drawing of John. It is the one of him and Paul on the train.

"Yes it is," I say, crouching down to her height. She turns to John and shyly says, "This is you."

The corners of his mouth twitch upwards and he ruffles her hair. "I know, kiddo."

"Ye play guitar?"

"Yea, as a matta a fact I do. What's it to ye?" he asks kindly.

"Would ye play fer me, then?" she questions quietly, hiding shyly behind my leg.

John looks to me, pleadingly. I can clearly tell that all he wants to do is talk to me about what's happened since we've been away, but I hold up one finger and mouth, "Just one? Please?"

"Alright, alright. I s'pose I could," he sighs dejectedly. I smile a small apology.

For a moment, little timid Annie rushes up to him and hugs his leg because she's so short. He freezes momentarily and then looks bewilderedly at me. I raise an eybrow in question of his look. Then suddenly, he reaches down and picks her up. We head up the stairs with Annie giggling the whole way.

John sets Annie down on her bed. "Do you have a guitar, John?" I ask.

"I do but it's downstairs."

"There's one in my room, I'll go get it," I offer, already heading to the door. John lays a hand on my arm to get my attention. His hopeful look sends my spirits soaring but I tell him to wait here. I let it sink in that John is actually here with me. Happily, I continue on down the hall to my room. I'm nearly skipping there, I'm so happy. Inside my small room, I grab the guitar off the stand in the corner. John probably won't like its poor quality but he'll have to get over it.

Back in Annie's room, she is asking John all sorts of silly questions. As I walk back into the room, she is asking him, "You sound funny, like Sadie. Are ye A-american like Sadie? Ye don't sound like 'er either though."

"Oh I sound funny do I? Wull maybe you sound funny ter me, luv," he smirks at the tiny girl. She sits back on her bed, thinking deeply about his words, not knowing what her response should be.

I hand John the guitar. He shakes his head disapprovingly. "This guitar is shite," he whispers to me. I shrug apologetically. He sighs and sits on the hardwood floor at the foot of the six year old's bed. John leans his back against the wall. "What should I sing?"

I shrug, "You should pick, you're the one playing it." I think he can tell by the tone of my voice that what I really mean is, "_Pick something that I've missed hearing."_

He thoughtfully plucks at the strings before he begins to play.

"There is a place,  
Where I can go,  
When I feel low,  
When I feel blue.  
And it's my mind,  
And there's no time when I'm alone.

John looks away from the beaming blond propped on the bed to me while he sings, unable to keep his smile off his face. He winks at me.

I think of you,  
And things you do,  
Go 'round my head,  
The things you said,  
Like "I love only you."

In my mind there's no sorrow,  
Don't you know that it's so.  
There'll be no sad tomorrow,  
Don't you know that it's so.

There is a place,  
Where I can go,  
When I feel low,  
When I feel blue.  
And it's my mind,  
And there's no time when I'm alone.

There's a place..."

The final chords of the song are marred by Annie's loud clapping. John stands up and bows jokingly. I move from my position in the doorway over to Annie's bed. Sighing, she gets under the covers, already knowing what I want from her. I tuck her in and kiss her forehead. "Night sweetie. See you in the morning, hon."

"Nighty night," Annie yawns before drifting closer to sleep. She hugs me again and she mumbles in my ear, "He has a pretty voice, Sadie." I chuckle quietly, "Why, yes, yes he does, Annie. Now go to sleep." I stand up straight and retreat to the doorway where John is standing with the old guitar. I can't wait to see the look on his face when I tell him Annie called his voice 'pretty'.

"That bird is adorable. I 'ave gotta admit," John chuckles when I reach his side.

"I know, I just wish she'd get adopted," I whisper, more to myself than him. He steps closer to me. "Why? I thought ye liked 'avin 'er 'round?"

I catch his eye, "I do, but I hate seeing her here. She deserves so much better than this." I gesture to the whole room in general. The threadbare sheets and blankets, drafty windows, and all together bare room is a terrible home.

John grabs my hand, "Whut about you, though, luv?"

I shrug, "I can deal with all this, but she's so young and happy. I don't want this place to do to her what it did to me."

I lean my head against his shoulder as he asks what exactly I mean by that. "When I was still at home, with my family, I was exactly like her. That's why I love her so much. She's just like me when I was that age. This place messed with me too much to stay like that. I don't want that for her. I just want her to stay happy, you know?"

"I love you, Sadie."

I gaze up at him and lose myself in his warm brown eyes. "Because there's one thing 'bout ye I know'll never change."

I wait patiently for him to finish.

"Yer the opposite a me."

I simply stare at him.

"What I mean is that yer the most selfless person I know. I've always been so selfish. And I'll always be like that. But you, ye never put yerself first. I don' always agree with it but I admire ye fer it. And I like that yer makin' me a better person."

I consider that for awhile. Without a word, I pull him out of Annie's room. His hand still holding mine, I walk with him to my room. I feel a little embarrassed to have him see it though. Its white walls are stained with soot, the draft makes it rather chilly, and the only belongings of mine in here are my clothes. Everything else is bare.

I don't even bother to turn the lights on. The dim glow of the street light that seeps through my window is all that's needed. I lean my back against the wall and pull John close to me. He smiles expectantly. His lips are inches from my own. My breath hitches and he chuckles. I just barely feel the ghostly brush of his lips when there's a loud knock on my door. I jump, and panicking momentarily, I roughly shove John into my closet. Flustered, I rush over to my door and open it.

"Sadie. I just wanted to let you know that I already checked on the younger girls so you didn't have to. You looked awful tired so I figured I should try to help out. Good night," Pam informs me. I thank her gratefully. She turns to go, but I don't go back inside my room until she disappears down the stairs.

I lock my door this time not wanting to risk having yet another person interrupt. Then I rip open the closet door, grab handfuls of John's jacket, yank him to me, and kiss him hungrily. Laughing, he pulls me deeper into my closet, still kissing me. One of his hands cradles my cheek while the other slides down to the small of my back. I haven't been happier since the last time we were together. Even when the two of us had no air left in our lungs we can't stop. He won't stop pressing kisses to my lips. Not that I am exactly complaining. He laughs quietly to himself when I glare at him because he pulls away. He places one last chaste kiss on my lips. Slowly, I back out of the closet and fall onto my bed. I gaze at him happily. He leans against the wall and crosses his arms. A smirk is playing at the corner of the lips that had just been kissing me so fiercely. The two of us catch our breath before either of us talks. "So," I start, "I'm so unbelieveably happy you're here right now, but why-"

He avoids my gaze. "What?" I wonder. "I, uh, may 'ave just jumped on a train without tell'n no one an' came straight 'ere. I didn' br'n anyth'n with me er find a place ter stay. All I've got's me guitar 'cause I 'ad it with me. I just really 'ad ter see ye. I-"

"Wait. So you were just walking by the station and got on a train just because you wanted to see me?" I wonder in absolute shock. He'd do that just to see me?

He nods sheepishly and a light blush colors his cheeks.

"Paulie's going to murder you when you get back, John. You do realize that, right?"

He smiles, "Nah, I think 'e'll be 'appy 'cause now I won't be as moody."

"_As_ moody? Not just happy?" I tease. Nodding, he crosses the room and sits in an uncomfortable looking position on the edge of my small twin bed. "Yea. I can't be with ye all the time. Paul makes fun a me 'cause I get noticeably nastier when yer not there. 'Ccordin' ter them, a course." Laughing, I grab his arm and pull him down beside me. John's eyes glow as he settles in beside me.

"Aww, you do?" I smirk, teasing him. He rolls onto his back. "Yea. Yer one a me best mates, I 'ate it when ye leave, Sadie."

That thought makes me happy, yet I don't like to hear that he's sad. I don't like it when people are sad because then it makes _me_ feel sad. I rest my head on my pillow and just watch him. He rolls to face me and gently brushes his fingertips across my cheekbone. I reach up and grab a hold of his hand. Silently, he places our entwined hands between us. "Why did you decide today of all days to come?" I ask softly. John's brown eyes close. He turns our entwined hands to place a kiss on mine. "All of a sudden, I jus' really wanted to hold your hand," he whispers so softly I can't really be sure he even said it. A peaceful silence falls over us and for awhile we just lie like that; absolutely still. This moment is so unlike the John Lennon I've come to know. He's not making an obscene gesture or joke, he's not angry, and for once, his eyes aren't cold and distant. It's kind of unnerving but this quiet, calm John is just as good.

"Johnny, where are you staying?" I yawn tiredly. He looks thoughtful for a moment. "Yea know, I 'adn' quite thoughta that yet. Umm..." he admits with actual innocence. "M'kay, then you jus' stay right here with me..." I mumble, energy fading fast. Lord knows that is possibly the worst thing I could have suggested. How can I forget about Ms. Kollins? What if she showed up early and caught him here? What if one of the girls saw him come in but not leave? Yet, I'm not worrying about what I should be. Instead, I am completely satisfied having the boy I love lying beside me right now. My eyes start to droop and I yawn again. "Sleep, my angel face. Yer tired." I hear John murmur sweetly, a little amusement in his tone. The last thing I remember is me wriggling up to John and him wrapping a protective arm around me. Sweet, blissfully deep sleep soon washed over me for the first time in months.

* * *

"Sadie? Sadie, wake up, luv," a painfully familiar voice whispers. I don't want to wake up. The voice is trying to tear me away from such an amazing dream. Then, rather rudely the owner of the voice starts shaking me. The voice gets louder. "Sadie! Luv, wake up already!"

I groan and rub my eyes. Reluctantly, I open them. John's face is all I see. "Finally! Yer not easy ter wake up, are ye, luv?"

"John?" I stare at him in shock, not quite fully awake yet.

"Who else?"

I sit up and look down at John. "So all that really happened? It wasn't a dream?"

He shoots me a confused look but I just shake it off. I glance at my clock. "Oh my God! It's 9:45! She'll be home in 15 minutes!"

In panic, I jump out of bed and pull John up with me. I sneak him downstairs without anyone seeing him. At the door I hesitate for a second. "Will you stay? I mean, for today or something. Just don't leave London yet. Please. Meet me at this diner, the Corner Café at 7? Yea, seven. Please?"

He kisses me quickly. "Anyth'n fer you my angel face. I'll see ya then."

"Bye Johnny...I love you."

Just minutes after a grinning John disappears around the corner, Ms. Kollins returns.

* * *

I run blindly out of the orphanage, my whole body aching. After sprinting quite a distance I find John standing outside the Corner. "Sadie? 'Ullo, 'ullo. I just-what's wrong, luv?"

Just as soon as I throw my arms around his neck, the gut wrenching sobs kick in. These tears aren't just from this one event. These tears are all the ones I've refused to let fall for the last five years. Believe me, that is a lot of tears.

Even as out of it as I am, I still find myself able to feel for John. I've seen how well John can handle girls in tears. He stands there like a bloody idiot with a helpless look on his face. Well, at least that's how Georgie put it. He admitted to me that he hated it when girls cried because he never knew what to do with them. Much like me, John's not exactly a people person and neither of us are ones to show very deep emotions on the surface usually. Just having John hold me close and stroke my hair is all I need though.

He pulls away for just long enough to see the red, finger shaped marks around my neck. I know they are going to bruise. John brushes a few stray hairs out of my face. "Oh no…" John murmurs. Suddenly, his face grows hard. "Sadie, yer comin' with me."

"Huh?" I try to wipe my tears away but unsurprisingly, John beats me to it. "I'm not lettin' ye go back there. Not a chance in 'ell."

"B-but-" I begin, only to get cut off by him. "Yer comin' back ter Liverpool an' livin' with us. Paulie an' I got ourselves a place. Ye can stay with us-with Mimi even. I'll sneak ye in ter get yer stuff, but after that-yer never goin' back. Alright?"

All I can do is hug him tighter.

* * *

I wait for John to knock on the door as I hide behind the fence. He glances back at me right before one of the other girls opens the door. I can't help but smirk when she tries to nonchalantly straighten her hair and clothes when she realizes it's a boy at the door. I wait until he's inside to run over to the side of the building. I find my window and climb up the wall and slip inside. I tumble quite ungracefully onto the floor.

Frantically, I throw all of my belongings into the bag John had bought me. It doesn't take long considering I don't own all that much. My heart skips a beat when I hear my door open. I whirl around to see Annie poke her head in. "Sadie! Where were ye last night?" she wonders.

I wipe my eyes to keep the tears in my eyes from spilling. Annie rushes over to me. "Sadie, didja know that guitar boy's 'ere?"

"Oh Annie. I know. Come here, hon," I manage to say around the growing lump in my throat. I hug the little girl to me. "Annie, I have to tell you something but first you have to swear you won't tell anyone. Okay? Good. Hon, I'm going away today."

She seems to notice the waver in my voice. "But yer comin' back, right? Ye 'ave ter."

"I can't stay, Annie. I have to go. I'll be fine. I promise I come back eventually, just to check on you. Alright?" I look into her now teary eyes.

"He's takin' you, isn't he? Why does he get ta have you! I hate 'im! Why won't you stay!" she cries, struggling to break free from my grasp. I hold her to me despite her efforts. "Shh…Annie, leaving you is the hardest thing I have to do. Don't hate John, hon. Trust me, he's not stealing me from you, he's just helping me. He—he loves me. Just like I love you, hon," I whisper to her. Her body grows limp in my arms and she sighs.

"Are you two in luv, Sadie?" she giggles suddenly. "It's like that story ye told me. 'Bout a girl who runs away and meets a guitar player. Do you luv 'im?"

My heart feels so heavy in my chest. I don't want to leave her here. I want to take her with me, but I know I can't. "Yea, I do love him, hon. And I guess it is kinda like the story. Just don't worry about me, alright. I'll be fine where ever it is I'm going. You just have to keep it a secret, remember?"

Annie nods solemnly and attacks my neck with a hug. "I luv you, Sadie. I'm gonna miss ye."

I try to swallow the lump in my throat but I fail to. "I love you, too, hon. I'll think about you every day. I have to go now, hon. Bye."

Gently prying her tiny fingers from my shirt, I stand slowly. Knowing I won't find the will to leave if I stay any longer, I grab my bag and slide back out the window. I land on the soft grass with a dull thud. John is leaning against a building across the street. Without looking, I run across it to meet him. His eyes are soft when they meet mine. Instead of speaking, he asks me if I'm ready with the raise of an eyebrow. Nodding, I adjust the strap of my duffel bag.

Though I tell myself not to, I can't help but take one last look back at the home. John doesn't stop walking; he just takes my hand in his and gives it a reassuring squeeze. With a barely audible sigh, I look at the street ahead of me and the two of us walk on with nothing but the sound of our own footsteps.

* * *

**_A/N:__ Alrightyy, so there it is. Another chapter. TWO in the same MONTH! I know, I can't believe it myself!;) So what's gonna happen now? I know. No, really. This time I actually do know what I want to happen. Unlike every other time I've said, 'I know'. Hahaha just ignore me, I'm weird. _**

**_Anywho, please let me know whatcha think. I appreciate the feedback more than you might think:)_**


	20. Don't Ever Change

_**Dudeeees, since when is it JUNE? HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? It was march and now it's june! I am SO SORRY! my life has been so beyond crazy (and still is). I know i said i'd update soon, but time just completely disappeared. as in it disappeared so fast that imnow a little more than worried about my observational skills...O.o anyway i really do apologize. so read on=)**_

* * *

_Chapter Twenty Don't Ever Change _

"See, I told you this wasn't a good idea." I grumble in annoyance, shooting John a nasty look.

The boy simply shrugs and smirks at my irritation. "I never said it was a _good_ idea. In fact, I never said it was an idea at all. I don' believe I actually gave ye any other options, luv."

I roll my eyes, "Yes, I'm well aware of that. However, your currently catatonic aunt is not. And judging only that, I think it would be best if I just went back to London..."

And what I said was true. Mimi was staring at the two of us with a blank expression, eyes wide, mouth open, hands folded over her stomach.

John snorts, and as soon as he opens his mouth, I can tell by his mischevious smirk whatever comes out won't help any. "Aw, come on Mimi, yer actin' as if I jus' told ye she wuz preggers er somethin'."

That certainly gets Mimi out of her trance alright. "WHAT?" she screeches, lunging toward the no rather nervous looking boy. "You got her PREGNANT? Boy! I am going to-"

"No, no, no! Mimi calm down. John is just being a completely horrendous person, as per usual. It's not true. I am most definitely not-" I can't even say the word. "P-pregnant. Oh my gosh." My words seem to quell some of the anger and confusion radiating off of the older woman. John hangs his head sheepishly when she starts yelling at him, red in the face.

"First you just show up out of the blue after disappearin' without so much as a word, yet again, might I add. Then you come back with a bird you more or less kidnapped from an orphange. Next you tell me she's going to be living with me to get away from some woman who just tried to strangle her. And now you're joking that you knocked her up! What kind of a man did I raise you to be? Certainly not such a-a child like this! I CANNOT believe you John Winston Lennon!" she finishes loudly, face flushed. Mimi lets out a great big sigh and shakes her head. "Well, you may be foolish, and reckless, and lazy, and foulmouthed, and...well, but at least I can see that I've taught you to protect what you love. Even if you have a rather twisted way of doing so."

So many emotions flit across John's face in that one moment. Far too many to catch them all. But anyone could see the shame, the weariness, the hurt, and the sadness on his crestfallen features. Yet, I bet only a few could've seen the brief glimpse of love and pride that warm his dark eyes. I'm sure glad I'm one of them. And at her last words, the red returns to the cheeks that had fallen rather pale during Mimi's unexpected, yet somewhat predicted rant. Yes, I'm well aware of the contradictment in that statement. My thoughts trail off when I feel Mimi's sharp gaze on my face. I can feel the heat rush to my cheeks.

"Sadie, I want you to-" she pauses, building up the suspension for what are sure to be harsh words aimed at me, and turns to John, "Go off with your mates. I want to talk to Sadie. Alone."

John's head snaps up in surprise, and a little concern. But before he can protest, Mimi shots him a look that has him avoiding my gaze as he darts for the door. _Traitor_, I scoff in my head. "Now, Sadie, I want you to know that while I don't approve of what John's plan as a whole is, I am glad he thought to get you out of there. Just don't tell him I said that. Because, I've seen the way he lightens up when you're around, or you're mentioned. And I've also seen how scary he gets when you're not around. So I know you're good for him. Anyone can see that. But even though I'm willing to hide you here, with very mixed feelings about this whole ordeal mind you, I do not want to be taken advantage of and I'm not necessarily comfortable with the two of you having such easy access to the other. So you have to promise me that you'll behave. Because so help me if what he was just joking about ever becomes true..." she trails of threateningly. I gulp at the last part, yet strangely, I'm feeling rather euphoric.

"Wait, you mean you actually want to help me? You're not going to send me back?" I exclaim in dangerously high hopes. She looks appalled. "Of course not. How could I send such a sweet child back to such a terrible place. No, you're staying here with me." I smile so wide it actually sort of hurt to do. Then I threw my arms around the stiff woman in abosolute shock. Eventually she returns it before pushing me gently away. You can tell she's trying not to show the bright shine in her eyes and the smile threatening to break free. "Thank you so much, Mimi. You don't even know how much I-"

"Yea, yea. Now go be a kid, will you? I have this bad feeling that you probably really haven't had the chance to be one all that much, have you?" Mimi teases kindly. My smile falters a little at how true her words are, whether she knows it or not. But as I wave a good bye and step out the door, I take a new meaning of her words. Sure, I hadn't really had the chance to be a kid. Not for very long anyway. But now...now I can do it. I can be the carefree, if not messed up, kid I dreamed of. Then, for once without a care in the world, I laugh like a little kid, twirling in circles as I splash through the puddles down the street letting the rain pour down on me. And then John comes out of nowhere, wraps his arms around me from behind, and places a soft kiss on my neck, sending shivers down my spine. Laughing, I smile at him as he starts singing in my ear, singing only to me. That alone would have been enough to make my heart melt. But when the words sunk in, I realize there can't have been a better song for this moment. All other thoughts escape my mind as we stand there, his arms around and his melodic voice singing,

"_I'm singin' in the rain_ _Just singin' in the rain_ _What a glorious _ _feelin'_ _I'm happy again._ _I'm laughing at clouds._ _So dark up _ _above_ _The sun's in my heart_ _And I'm ready for love._

_Let the stormy clouds chase._ _Everyone from the place_ _Come on with _ _the rain_ _I've a smile on my face_ _I walk down the lane_ _With a happy _ _refrain_ _just singin'_ _singin' in the rain_

_dancin' in the _ _rain..._

_I'm happy again..._

_I'm singin' and dancin' in the rain... **(A/N:** **Yea, yea. it's not a beatles song, i know. but i woke up this morning in a fantastic mood, and i found that oddly enough, the fact that it was raining actually made it even better. and it made me think of this song. plus it totally fits here so, yea...)**_

* * *

Two hours later finds us sitting in Paulie's basement, wrapped up in blankets with hot chocolate in our hands. While singing in the rain had indeed been fun, I realize being soaked to the bone isn't as grand. But then again, I'm now snuggled up against a fluffy couch, George, and John. Can you guess which one I'm snuggled up to more though? I bet you can. Yup, you're right. This couch is sooo comfy!(; But while the couch _is_ more comfortable, having John's arms wrapped around you under a particularly fluffy blanket while using George as a foot warmer is really quite fantastic. And the hot chocolate in my hands more than completes the great moment.

"I don' think I like the idea of bein' someone's foot warmer. Ev'n if it is you, Sadie. I feel all used," George teases in a pretend hurt tone. In reality, he just snuggles up closer to my right side, keeping my toes and side toasty warm. And now Paulie's strumming his guitar and singing. And then John and Georgie join in. Ahh, this is soo the life for me. I rest my head in the crook of John's neck, loving the feel of his arms and the sound of his voice. This can't be healthy for me, getting so attached to these boys, these moments. Because as much as I wish this will never end, I have a terrible feeling my troubles with Ms. Kollins aren't really over with yet. But I don't dwell on it because the next moment, the door to the basement is flung open and a very drenched Stu comes crashing down the stairs.

He falters when he sees me, but it appears what he has to say is much more important than inquiring about my presence. "Lads, ye'll never believe what jus' 'append."

"Ye finally got laid?" John snickers. He quiets down with a sharp glare from both me and Stu. "No, ye knoe I've-oh whatever. I was walkin' down Penny Lane, an' then I decided to stop in the music store like usual. And I heard this real gear band. Lads, their drummer was excellent. Though I suppose anyone can sound better than Pete...anyway, they have a show in the Casbah this Saturday night. We should go check them out."

The four of us simply stare at him silently. "Well?" he urges.

"Well, what? I don' see 'ow that was a 'guess what jus' 'appened moment," Paulie replys in a bored tone, soon returning to plucking random chords on his guitar.

"No, no. Ye didn' 'ear that part yet. When I asked if they played anywhere, they asked if I was into music. So I told 'em I was in a band meself. They thought I was kiddin' so, jokingly, they asked our name. So I says, 'The Quarrymen'." Stu pauses shortly to take a quick breath. "An' they flipped. They couldn' get over it. They couldn' believe it. Ye wanna know what they said? 'The Quarrymen? As in, those guys John and Paul? We are such good fans. 'Specially our drummer. Damn near goes ta everyone a yer shows.' Mate, they've heard of us! Another group said that _they_ are fans of _us!" _At that, the dark haired boy threw his balled up fists in the air in a victory pose. And still, the four of us just look at him.

"Rookie," I hear one of the boys mutter. Stu looks largely disappointed by our lack of enthusiasm for his 'discovery'. "Fine. Be that way. Act like yer too cool to care than we have actual fans. See if I care."

"Well, I certainly don'," John states. I glance up at him curiously. "Sure, I wanna be famous. But I just love the music. And, until we become world famous, I'm not gonna worry about one or two people who go ta our gigs ev'ry now an' again." Now that sounds much more like an answer suitable for John.

"So, uh, anyway, I see yer back, Sadie. Obviously." Stu acknowledges me with guarded eyes. I have to admit, seeing how careful his eyes looked really saddened me. I thought I had found a kindred spirit when we began talking. We are both artists, in the visual, rather than musical, aspects of it, and that had made us quick friends. But the last few times I've seen him, he's treated me different. Not necessarily in a bad way, just in more of a 'he's avoiding my eyes and not talking to me like he used to type thing. Who knows with these boys sometimes?

"Mhmm. For as good as I can hope. That or until you all grow sick of me," I smile shyly, a light blush crawling up my cheeks. Especially when both John and George lean in to kiss both of my cheeks. "Don' worry we luuurrrvvee ye, Sadie. "Specially that git right there," Paulie teases with a smile, gesturing to his best mate. John rolls his eyes but neither agrees or disagrees. Thankfully Stu doesn't ask any more questions.

My eyelids are slowly growing heavy. And honestly, can you blame me, with everything that's happened within the past day? And all those nearly sleepless nights leading up to it. That and being all tucked in between some of the Quarrymen under a warm blanket on a cozy couch certainly is not helping me in the slightest. I start to reluctantly drift of, despite all my mind's protesting. After what feels like an incredibly long battle, my eyelids finally defeat me. So the next time they close, they don't bother to go back up.

It feels like only seconds later when someone shakes me awake gently. Blinking the sleep out of my eyes, they slowly come into focus and land on John's smiling face. "Come 'ead, luv. Ye've been out fer two hours. It's late-ish."

I sit up and away from him slowly. My neck is abosolutely killing me and I wince as I stretch out. John pulls my sleepy self to my feet. Chuckling when I start to sway because I nearly fall asleep on my feet, John does something I didn't expect. He knocks my legs out from under me, but before I can fall too far, he catches me bridal style and make his way up the stairs. Too tired to fight it, I simply drape my arms around his neck and turn my face into his chest. "See, I can be sweet occasionally," I hear him whisper. Rolling my nearly closed eyes, I mumble into his shirt, sleepy voice laced with sarcasm, "Oh yes. My knight in shinging armor. My superhero."

"An' don' ye ferget it, luv." That is the last thing I remember hearing before finally falling into the most peaceful night's sleep I've had in years.

* * *

With great reluctance, my eyes slowly blink open. I wince at the bright light and snuggle closer to the warmth radiating from something to my left. Looking up, I smile to myself when I see that the heat source is none other than John. His face is smashed into a fluffly blue pillow, one arm hanging off the side of the bed, the other lazily draped over my back. It's a little chilly since the blanket is only covering me from the waste down. But the fire that burns through my veins from John's touch more than makes up for it.

"John," I whisper softly. I brush my fingertips along his cheekbone and he scrunches his nose. Smiling, I wriggle closer and press my lips to his cheek. A smirk makes its way to his face but his eyes remain closed. "Johnny...wake up," I murmer, placing soft kisses on his cheek, his nose, and his forehead. Now he's grinning broadly. "Wake up, Johnny," I say laughing. Finally, his eyes open, but before I can say another word, his lips come crashing down onto mine. Laughing, I return the kiss happily. He lifts up the arm that's across my back just enough for me to turn onto my side before tightening his grip again. "Mmm...wake me up like that ev'ry mornin', will ye, luv?" John chuckles, pulling away. Blushing, I simply tuck my head against his chest and burrow deeper into the blanket I pull up over my shoulders. John leans in and kisses my nose.

"So, 'ave ye given any more thought ta where yer gonna stay?" John questions, running his fingers through my curls. "Mhmm. Mimi is happy to have me stay with her. She just said she wants to make sure that 'we', really meaning you, will behave." I shoot him a meaningful look because even as I say this, his hand is currently tracing along the hemline of my shirt, slowly trying to creep underneath it. Scolding him, I laugh, "Johnny, stop it, will you? Anyway, I'm staying with her. But I mean, what do i do about school? There's only a month left before I'd graduate."

That thought seems to trouble him because he stops trying to reach under my shirt and frowns. "Well, 'ow important is it ta ye? What do ye wanna do fer the future?"

"I-"

"Yea?" he urges, curious.

"Well, I have no idea. I've been so concerned with takening care of everyone and everything else, that I've never dared to actually think about the future. Wow, that is so-pathetic. Really, I've never thought about it, but that's the truth. I have no idea what I want to do with my life," I admit sadly. "Maybe I can do something with art? Or kids? I'm good with both. What do you think?"

"I don' know, luv. Don' worry 'bout it right now," he murmurs softly. He leans in and presses his lips against mine so gently you'd think I am made out of glass. And, of course, that naturally makes my heart start racing just after it had finally calmed down. "All I can say, or ask, I s'pose, is please don' ever change. Just promise me yer always gonna be as sweet as ye are, luv. Can ye do that?" Heat rushes to my cheeks and I can feel the warm blush spread rapidly across them. He traces a finger absently over my cheekbone before tilting my head up to meet his gaze. "Yea, just that like."

"I love you, Johnny," I sigh so quietly, I'm not even sure he can hear me. But he kisses my forehead all the same. Seeing how embarrassed John appears after realizing what he just said to me, which I'm sure he hadn't really planned on saying out loud, I lighten the mood by attempting to create a joke.

"Yea, you know, I guess not everyone can dream to be a world famous musician who travels the world, spreading their music to inspire all, can they? Then it wouldn't be so special, now would it?" He rolls his eyes at my teasing and covers my face with a pillow. "Sure, go 'head. Mock me. When ye say it like that it makes me sound thick. Thanks so much, luv." Chuckling, he rest his head on the pillow covering my head. Feeling the pressure, I reach up my arms blindly and try to swat at his head. I know whatever I say will be muffled by the pillow, so my blind swatting is all I've got unfortunately. "Grrr, John move!" I growl in pretend annoyance.

"Not till ye say I'll be the hottest, most famous musician ev'r known and unknown to mankind with so much money that I can buy the whole world!" He jests.

"Never!" I cry, laughing. My blood runs cold when he starts tickling my sides. "No! Ahh! Johnny, stop it!"

"Say it! Say it, luv!"

"No. Ahaha-No no no! I will-hahaha-_fine_!" I give in reluctantly. I am completely out of breath from laughing so hard. I hate being tickled. So very,very much. To my relief, he finally sits up and removes the pillow from my head. He smirks when he sees my more than annoyed glare. But I can't stay mad at him for too long. not with that puppy dog face he's pulling now.

"Say it..." he whispers in a childish voice. "Hmm..." I trail off, slowly inching away from him. "How 'bout no?" Without another word, I hop up off the bed and sprint out the door and down the hallway. I can hear John's shout of surprise as I run. "I'm gonna getcha, luv!" Giggling-I know, me, Serious Sadie, is actually giggling like a little girl-I keep running. Unfortunately for me, I didn't think my plan through very well considering this is Paulie's house and I've never been upstairs in it before. Hearing John's footsteps growing closer, I panic and duck into the room closest to me. I pause for a second once inside to take in the sight.

Paulie and Georgie are haphazardly strewn across a bed, guitars still in hand, and sheet music littering the wide gap between them. I can't help but think how absolutely adorable the two of them look with their mussed up mop tops and how they're basically snuggling with their guitars. However cute they are, I still very unceremoniously dive in the space between them when I hear John push open the door.

"Save me guys!" I half yell, half laugh. I start cracking up seeing Paul and George jump awake in terror. "Good God! What's goin' on?" Georgie exclaims in the most adorably confused British accent ever. "Hahaha, morning Georgie, Paulie. Sleep well?" The two just stare at me blankly before rolling over with loud groans. Shyly, I turn to look where John is standing by the door with his arms crossed. His dark eyes are bright with amusement. I don't like the other look I see in his eyes though. Or that playful smirk. What is he-

"John! PUT ME DOWN!" He ignores my yells even as I pound on his back with my fists. I didn't even having time to react. He came over and threw me over his shoulder so fast that I didn't even have time to react. Paul watches my struggle in amusement while Georgie snores away. How he could possibly sleep with all my shrieks and John and Paul's laughter is beyond me. Finally, I manage to wriggle free of John's grasp only to have his arms lock around my waist from behind as I try to run away again. John pulls me back to him, and while that feels amazing, I don't want him to win. But seeing as I can't stop laughing, I probably won't win anyway.

"Help me, Paulie help!" I cry playfully. The younger boy merely rolls his eyes and slowly climbs to his feet. All he does is grab a pillow in one hand and advance toward John and me. I shoot him a curious look through my laughs but he simply winks. Then all of a sudden he swings it back and then swats John in the face with it. He releases me in shock. Howling like a hyena uon seeing the baffled look on his face, I snatch up a pillow myself and smack Paulie with it. His hazel eyes grow wide like a surprised fawn before he scowls pretending to be horrified. "What's this? A betrayal? An' after I saved ye from a most heinous fiend no less! This. Is. WAR!" He shouts dramatically. John, having lost the attention of those occupying the room, came up from behind and hit us both in the back of the head with a pillow. And thus begins our epic pillow fight. And no, Georgie does not wake up to join us. He grumbles something about immature children before burying his head under a pillow. A pillow which I grab less than ten seconds later in order to hit John.

"Hey! What's goin' on in here?" an unfamiliar voice shouts. The three of us freeze instantly. We must be quite a sight. Feathers are flying every where and the room is layered in a thin cover of white from them. All of our faces are ridiculous. It's a mix of a deer in the headlights expression and embarrassed shock. I have a pillow poised just about to hit Paul square in the head, while John's holding him in a headlock to keep him still for me. Paul's struggling to reach for a pillow on the edge of the bed near the feet of a feather covered Georgie.

The intruder looks suspiciously like Paul, only shorter and with even more of a baby face. I glance at Paulie with a quirked eyebrow.

"Hey Mike. We're jus' 'avin' some fun. Mike, this is Sadie. Sadie, this is Mike, me little brother," Paul chokes out from underneath John's strong hold. Relaxing, I toss the pillow onto the bed, unintentionally hitting the still sleeping George who merely scoops it under his arm, hugs it to his chest, and curls himself into a ball. Uhh, okay...

"Oh, um, nice ta meet ya I guess, Sadie," the young boy greets haltingly. I furrow my eyebrows in thought. Why does he sound like he already doesn't like me? What did I do wrong? With just a simple nod, Mike exits the room. I look to the boys in hurt. "He doesn't like me." I don't phrase it as a question, but as a statement of fact.

"What're ye talkin' 'bout, luv? 'e's only wary 'cause John's never actually 'ad a decent bird ta call 'is own before. That, an' birds don' exactly just stay at our 'ouse ev'ry night, so I'm sure 'e's just bein' shy. Don' worry, Sadie." Paul's reassurance for his brother's rather chilly greeting makes me feel a tad bit better. I shake it off with a shrug of my shoulders and turn to my favorite three boys(including the snoring one) with my hands on my hips and a smile on my face. "Right then boys. I'm free now. To be a kid again. So, it's your job to help me learn how to act like one," I state with a wide grin. John and Paul gaze at me with smiles and curious eyes. I shake George awake and ask the three, "So what's first?"


	21. How Do You Do It

_Chapter Twenty One How Do You Do It_

Normally running away from life's problems isn't the best choice. It shows a weakness that you can hide, but can't escape from. That you'd rather leave them unsolved than put an effort in to fix it. You have to face your problems eventually. They won't just disappear. And I know this all to well. But that doesn't stop me from enjoying every last second of the freedom I feel as though I've rightfully earned by doing so. I know deep down that Ms. Kollins is still out there, waiting to do me in. But surrounded by my loving, somewhat dysfunctional band of boys, I can't help but feel at home. At last, at home. It doesn't matter where we are, because where ever they may be, that's where I hang my hat. Unfortunately because of this, my "home" at the moment is a club. Stupid boys.

"Sadie, my angel face!" my favorite voice calls out in delight. I spot John waiting for me by the door to the club, Paulie beside him with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. I approach them quickly, smiling warmly at John. He stands by my side and asks, "What took ya so long?"

"Oh, don't even go there, Mr. I Know Just How To Get There. It was only a five minute walk but with the directions you gave me it took half an hour!" I complain in mostly pretend annoyance. He knows that I actually adore long walks, especially after it's just rained, like today. But I'm annoyed because he also knows I don't like being late to things.

He grins sheepishly, "Yea well..." His only other response is directed at Paul. "You gonna stand there all day or open the damn door?" I roll my eyes at his childishness but my heartbeat still becomes a bit erratic when he casually entwines his fingers with mine. My, my. What this boy does to me even just when he holds my hand.

The three of us enter the club, the heat from all the tightly packed bodies and the thumping bass greeting us like an all too familiar friend. Paul no sooner disappears into the crowd when George shows his skinny tags along with us in search of Stu. I still don't know how I feel about Stu. He's not mean to me, but it feels like when he talks to me it seems like he'd rather be doing anything else rather than being with me. I'm not sure what happened to the artistic camaraderie I thought we had developed right from the start. But just like that, it was gone.

Unfortunately for me, we find the quiet artist sitting alone at the bar, just about to order a drink. John grabs him by the shoulder without a word and pulls him in to a booth. I slid in before John, across from Georgie and Stu. All I get is a curt nod from Stu before he goes back to staring at the table. I can't tell if John's notice his best friend's change in behavior or his more often than not sullen mood. I, at least, am a little concerned.

"So why are we here again?" I question over the blaring live music. George shrugs, "It's that band Stu brought up awhile back. The one's who said they were fans of us."

Nodding in remembrance, I fiddle with the hem of my skirt, which unfortunately doesn't go unnoticed by John who then tries to assist me. He tries playing innocently with the hem like I had been but then takes it too far by sliding it farther up my thigh. Still in conversation with George, I stomp oh his foot without a break in my sentence.

"OW!" John shouts in shock. He tries to lift his foot up in panic to soothe the pain, only to somehow bang his knee against the underside of the table. George and Stu simply stare warily at us as I laugh out loud as John whines like a girl. The two of them shake their heads and get up to go check out the band. Meanwhile, I stick my tongue out at John when he blames me for his pain. "It ain't my fault you can't keep your hands to yourself." The dark eyed boy doesn't take my scolding as seriously as I had hoped. Instead there's a suspicious gleam in his eyes as he leans down to whisper in my ear, "Angel face, believe me, if you'd stop making it so God damned hard to, I would keep them to myself. However, you seem blissfully unaware of how every little thing you do makes me want you so much more."

Okay, cue the blushing, heart racing, and dizzying head pounding. It doesn't help any that he slides us farther into the booth, and farther out of sight, and places his lips on my neck. And just like that, he completely undoes all the sense in me. I sling my arms around his neck and catch his lips with my own. Smiling into the kiss, John pulls me up onto his lap, locking his arms around me tightly. And even though I know we are in a club full of people, as soon as he kisses me, it's as if no one else is there. Which is a horrible thing because then I actually forget that there are other people there. So when we are still practically making out, I hear a painfully familiar voice scoff, "Jesus, go get yourselves a freakin' room already. The rest of us don't really want a preview of what happens when you two are alone."

I rip myself away from a much irritated John to find Pru and Paul pretending to gag. "Oh shut it, wouldja."

Pru rolls here eyes but smiles knowingly at me. I really am glad that she turned out to be such a good friend. I'd gone to her house not that long after John brought me back with him. The look on her face was priceless when she saw it was me. She also made up a very efficient lie about why I was around if her parents ever found out. And much to my surprise, she actually had just gone and talked to her Aunt Rita about having me work at her art gallery. Which I agreed to immediately, of course. In fact, I am rather nervous about it because I start in two days. Who knows what it'll be like to work with an actual artist. I can't wait. Although, John isn't too thrilled about losing me for such long periods of time but I told him to stick a straw in it and suck it up. And yes, his reaction to that made me laugh so hard I was crying. Though I try not to think back on all of the dirty things he then said to me after that. *_shudder*_

We just sit and listen to the band for a little longer. They're actually not that bad. Not great, but not bad. They finished up their set with a crappy cover of an Elvis song. It is so horrendous that I actually think John might be sick. He sure does love his Elvis. Just not the people who ruin his songs. I just rub his back soothingly and laugh at his pained expression. "This is so shite!" he exclaims over and over. "'Cept for the drums," the guitarist mumbles at one point, "yea, 'cept for the drums."

Thankfully, they soon finish and another group replaces them. A few moments later, when we are all getting up to leave, Stu reappears with George and a shorter boy with longer, sandy brown hair and a rather large nose. His smile is so wide it's contagious and I suddenly find myself smiling a bit wider than before. "Hey mates," Stu calls out, "This 'ere is the drummer I was tellin' you about."

"H-hi. It's so gear to finally meet you. We, our band, think you guys are great. Least, I do. I don't really care fer them or what they think," the drummer babbles on. I instantly take a liking to him. I find him absolutely adorable. Beside me, from the corner of my eye I can see John size the poor kid up. Eventually he offers a gruff nod of acknowledgement. "So you're the drummer? Not bad, mate, not bad. Whadaya call yerselves anyway?"

"Rory Storm and the Hurricanes. And I'm Ringo. Ringo Starr," he rushes excitedly.

"John Lennon." After a moment, he says, "I wish ye well, mate. Keep playin'. Hope to hear a you soon, alright. See ya."

And with that, John grabs my hand and pulls me out of the club. "Hey wait a minute," I say, digging my heels into the sidewalk. John spins around in surprise. "You were so rude to him. He was so excited to meet you, couldn't you see? And then you barely say ten words to the guy!"

"So? Sadie, I said what anyone a us woulda said. I told him he was good. What more is there to say really?" To be fair, his question actually is valid, I just don't feel like admitting it, so I walk right past him. Sighing, he jogs to catch up with me. "So what shall we do me lovely lady?"

"I have no idea. I suppose we could go to the lighthouse again. We haven't been in awhile." I don't really have any other suggestions to offer at the moment.

"I know you hate talking about this, but we really have to at some point." John groans beside me, burrowing his face into the crook of my neck. I run my hand along the soft fabric of the blanket before rolling onto my side. I use his chest as a pillow and curl up against him.

"No, no we really don't."

"Johnny, I have to go back at some point. Annie's still there and so are the other girls. I need to know if they're alright. And I'll never have my real freedom if I don't wrap up all those loose ends, you know?" I sigh into his shirt. I breathe in deep, smelling a mixture of smoke and cinnamon. "Johnny?" I whisper, gazing up at him.

"But why?" he bursts out unable to ignore it any longer. "Other than Annie? I think you're just trying to punish yourself. I just know it's not safe for you to head back there, luv. You'll be 18 in just three months, then she can't do anything to you."

"But the-"

"I know, I know. _But the girls," _he mocks in annoyance. "Well fuck the girls, Sadie. Nobody worried about you for far too long. They can deal with being on their own for a bit. I will not let you risk everything to go check up on a group of ungrateful girls who didn't even help you with that psychotic woman. I know you feel like you're their mum, but yer not. And I know you feel responsible for them, but, yer not. I love you far too much to let you risk all you've earned for that. Everyone here loves you, Sadie. You've got us. You got me. Aren't we enough?" His voice grows quieter toward the end. I let his words sink in. I think that's the most I've heard him say all at once in, well, ever.

"Johnny?"

With a sigh, he breathes a, "Yes?"

"You know I love you more than anything in the world, right?" I murmur and grab a fistful of his shirt in my hand.

"Yea, I do. But it's good to hear every once in awhile," he chuckles lightly.

I reach up with one hand to trail my finger tips across his cheek bone. He places a kiss on top of my head. "So are you still gonna try ta go back?" he wonders.

I think about it for a moment. Am I really willing to risk losing everything I've done and made here for those girls? For Annie I would do. But not for any of the others any more. John's right about them. But little Annie...

His chest rises up as he heaves a large sigh. "For Annie, I'm guessin'?" Instead of answering, I simply continue to stare at his red shirt and trace little patterns on it with my finger. I knew he'd take my silence as a yes. He pulls me tighter to his side. "Well. I never thought that I'd have to compete with a six year old bird fer you, but I suppose I can try to fight fair," he chuckles softly.

I jerk up to look at him. He jumps, startled by my sudden movement. He gazes at me questioningly, looking a tad bit hurt honestly. "What'd I say?"

"Nothing, nothing. But, Johnny, how do you _not _know that you'd never have to compete with any one for me? I'm all yours, don't you remember?"

He says nothing but then rewards me with the most breathtakingly brilliant smile I've ever seen. Laughing, he rolls me onto my back and leans over me. With his hair falling down in front of his eyes, he smiles down at me. Then he lowers his lips until they're so close to just barely brushing against my own that I can't tell if they actually are or not. And just like that my heart is racing a mile a minute. I can detect the faintest smell of smoke on his cool breath, mingling with my own. "All mine? I like the sound of that." He's so close yet it feels like he's so achingly far away right then. Stupid boys. He's a damn tease, he is. And with a whisper, John asks, "So, can I kiss you then?"

He must have taken my nervous girly squeak as a yes because before I know it his lips are finally on mine. His kisses are hungry and his hands are roaming in areas I normally would smack them away from. And I admit, I am trying to not be so shy myself, to show him I don't always have to be a nervous goody two shoes, so I let my own hands wander a bit. I just want to be as close as possible to him in every way I can. And I want to show him that. I just don't know how.

Drawing up some courage, I slide my hands down his back, nails dragging against his shirt. My face heats up when a small groan escapes from his lips. Smiling into the kiss, now knowing that he's at least enjoying himself a little, I get a little bolder. Ever so slowly, I creep my hands up under his shirt, lightly dragging my fingers over his bare skin. This simply causes him to shiver and kiss me harder than he ever has before. Now thoroughly enjoying myself, I remove my hands from his back and place them on his shoulders. He must think I am about to push him away because he starts to pull away a little. Grabbing fistfuls of his shirt, I laugh into the kiss and push him over onto his back so that I'm on top instead.

Finally, I pull away from him, but only so his face is just mere inches from mine. His dark eyes are cloudy and to be honest he looks a bit dazed. The both of us are breathing hard. I stare at him without saying a word. And then, suddenly, he sighs. My heart drops to my stomach faster than it even gets through my head that my efforts to make him happy did absolutely nothing. Then he laughs almost nervously. "Damn, Sadie. You sure don't make it seem like ya want me ta keep me hands to meself. Jesus. Yer drivin' me mad woman. How do you do it? Is it yer plan to tease me into lettin' you go? Well, if so, I'm convinced, so you might wanna give it a rest. 'Cause yer makin' it bloody near impossible fer me to stop myself from taking you right here, right now, angel face," he admits breathlessly.

Oh. He sighed because he had to stop? So I am doing something right then. Just like that my heart returns to its normal spot but now it's beating in twice the normal speed. I take in this boy beneath me. He looks so alive, so happy. And crazy as it sounds he says that it's all because of me. And this boy also promised me the world. So how can I not repay him, or at least show him some gratitude? Show him that I love him just as much. Because I sure as hell do. So, I gaze into those brown eyes of his for another moment, searching in them for something important. And there it is. Bright and shiny as the North Star. Love. That's all I see staring back at me. And it absolutely melts my heart. Then I lean down and plant slow, deliberate kisses all down his jaw on down to his collarbone. Then I make it up to his ear. Taking a deep breath, I whisper softly in his ear, "Then don't."

I can feel his body instantly freeze under me. His breath hitches in his throat. I lean back to look at him, my flaming curls pooling down over my shoulder. John's eyes are wide in an uncharacteristic like shock. I bit my bottom lip anxiously waiting for a reaction from him, heart pounding a mile a minute. This boy that I love with all my heart then reaches up to cup my face in his hands and gently pulls my head down to his. "I love ye more than you'll ever know, Sadie," he whispers. And then his lips come crashing down on mine.

* * *

"Wait. You two did WHAT?!" Prudence shrieks, her voice on the last word going into such a high frequency I swear every dog on her block heard it. Heat rushes up to my cheeks, my face burning. A second later the tiny dark haired girl grabs hold of my arm and starts dragging me into her room. Upon entering a maddening shock of yellow I realize we've made it to her room. I don't even get a chance to look around before she starts wailing on me with a pillow. "What the f-?!" I start to shout before a pillow makes contact with my face. My head gets whipped back and my mouth drops to the floor at her behavior. "Pru, what the hell is your problem!"

The petite girl pauses her assault for a moment, pillow clutched so tightly in her delicate hands her knuckles turn white. Her chocolate eyes are wide as they scan over me. I hold my hands out to her as if she's some kind of wild animal I'm trying to convince not to eat me. "Seriously? What's wrong with you?" I demand in a wary voice.

Pru narrows her eyes at me and slowly answers, "I'm beatin' all the John cooties off you." She scrunches her nose in distaste and then shudders. I stare at her for a second wondering if she's only joking, that is until I see the serious glint in her eyes. Between her intense appearance and her childish answer I can't help it. I lose it.

"AHAHAHAHA! You think-Hahaa-you're face-cooties-crack me up!" Unable to manage laughing at her and talking, I finally settle on laughing my ass of at her. Tears form in my eyes I'm laughing. I mean, I know it's funny to see her and her answer and all, but even I know that it's not as funny as I'm making it seem. But I can't stop laughing for another reason. I am happy. Me, happy, shocking I know. But it's true. For the first time since being in this country, I am completely, entirely, absolutely, unbelievably happy. So therefore, I have no reason _not _to laugh.

Only, Pru doesn't exactly know this yet. She started beating me with her pillow before I could tell her. But at the moment she still thinks I'm making fun of her. So naturally she resumes her attack. I flop onto her bed and curl up into a ball even as she whacks at me with her fluffy weapon. Hmm, is that a goose down pillow? Soft. "Ew, ew, ew! Yer gettin' John cooties on my bloody bed!"

The next time she swings her pillow down at me, I rip it from her hands and throw it behind me. "Pru, stop this," I command. Her brown eyes flick from me to her pillow repeatedly. Heaving a great sigh, she flops on the bed beside me. "That's so gross, Sadie. I can't believe you and him-ugh."

"Who are you to call it gross, missy?" I blurt out. She turns her head to raise an eyebrow at me. "You're the one who has told everyone in school you slept with Mike Heggley and Peter Lodder _and_ his brother during the summer. At least I love John and he loves me. And I'll be 18 in a month and a half. You're only fifteen." I can't help but sound rude because I feel a bit offended. Here's the girl who bragged about her conquests and she's telling me that _I'm_ gross?

"Oh, yea," she mutters. I feel the bed rise up after she stands up. I follow her movements as she crosses the room. Pru sits on the pink stool in front of her desk, shoulders hunched forward, and runs and hand through her silky hair.

"About that…"

"What?"

"All that was a lie." Her voice has lost all of its usual perkiness. She spins her stool around terribly slow to face me.

"Pru," I sigh in frustration, "I didn't mean it in that way. You don't have to lie about it. It's just that I'm really happy right now and you are totally killing it by being all hypocritical when in actuality you did soooo much worse than what I did and-"

"_I'veneverevenbeenkissed_!" she screams in a jumble, cutting off my frantic run on sentence. Unfortunately, even with all those lovely brain cells of mine, all I can think to respond with is, "Huh?"

"Sadie, no one's ever even kissed me! All that stuff about summer was just rumors people started. When I saw how it helped make people believe I was older and that I was cool, I just sorta never corrected anyone on it. And obviously none of those boys had a problem with me not denying it. But really, no boys actually want me." The upset girl threw the book on her desk forcefully onto the ground. It makes a small thud on the carpeted floor but goes silent after she glares at it harshly. "And I can see that you're happy. And that's why I'm upset. I just want to be there, you know. I want to be with someone the way you are with John. Even though I do hate him. A lot, by the way…in fact, how do you do it, I mean he's so-"

My glare silences her babbling. I had no idea that's what happened or how she felt. "No wonder you were so nervous about Georgie. You'd never had any experience with boys," I gasp finally understanding a whole lot more about my friend. She shoots me a dirty look, "Yea, well neither did you before John."

"I know. But he was my friend first, so I just-well, yea, you're right."

She huffs and folds her arms defensively across her chest. Softly, I offer some words of advice to my crestfallen friend, "Pru, you gotta realize that even though you're often grouped with the older kids, you're not really one of them. Hey no, don't give me that look. You know what I mean. You don't have to be where they are. Don't worry about boys yet. You shouldn't have to worry about all their nonsense right away anyhow. Just act like the young girl I know you are. And Pru, someone some day's gonna love you for it."

Pru sniffs and mumbles something. When I ask her to repeat it she mumbles it again, "You're such a good friend, Sadie. You deserve to be happier than any one else I know." Her words startle me. And warm my heart. "I am happy. And you should be too. Because we've got each other." I wrap my arms around her tiny self and after awhile she hugs me back.

"Pru?"

"Yea?"

"You know I've still got John cooties, right?"


	22. With a Little Help From My Friends

**_A/N:_****_ I'm not even gonna deny it. I am a horrible person. it's been what, like 6 months? I"M SO SORRY! but as you all know, i'm sure, life doesn't always care what you want, and mine sure is no exception. Well, anyway, read on for the first time in months!:)_**

**_I really am terribly sorry. And to all of you so far that have read and commented and such on my story so far, i have to give you some massive thanks because you make me feel so amazing! Thank you all so much!_**

_C__hapter Twenty Two  
With a Little Help From My Friends_

I drag Paul outside with me and he groans, rubbing his eyes when the bright sunlight hurts them. "Sadie," he yawns, "I luv ya an' all, but why wuzn't it John ye woke up at this ungodly hour?"

"Because he wasn't there when I got up. Mimi said he went to Blackpool and didn't want to wake me up," I explain to the grumpy boy. All small smile creeps onto my face when I think about how I woke up to a steaming cup of hot chocolate and a chocolate chip muffin on my nightstand this morning. That's what John always does when he knows he won't be there in the morning. He really is just a big softy on the inside.

"He really got up so early? Dear God, what have ye done with him?" Paul asks in surprise. I grin, knowing full well how much of a morning person John isn't. And for him to get up at 6 like he did today was practically unheard of for him. "Yupp. And Paulie, it's 7:45, it's not _that_ early, you know," I tease, tugging him down the street. I hear a sigh behind me and roll my eyes.

"Where are we goin' anyway?" Paul questions falling into step beside me. He shoves his hands into the pockets of his tan pants and stares down at the sidewalk. Despite the jacket he's got on he still shivers a bit at the cool morning breeze.

"To Mimi's."

"So why'd ye come get me?" he wonders, shrugging his guitar higher up on his shoulder. I swear none of the boys have left the house without their guitars in weeks. Even this morning I'd noticed that John's was gone. "Because I felt like it. Quit complaining and get a move on!" I command with a laugh. Paul rolls his eyes but follows me all the same. I smile at him sweetly and bat my eyelashes at him. All he does is shake his head at me. The rest of the walk is rather quiet for the most part.

Paulie, being a gentleman as always, opens the gate for me and I skip up to the front door. He tails along closely when I push it open and step inside the house. Mimi calls out a hello from the kitchen and we wish her a good morning. Not seconds later, the woman comes bustling into the living room. She smiles at me and her eyes widen when she notices Paul beside me. "Oh, how perfect! You're here, too, Paul!" she exclaims suddenly, wiping her hands on her apron quickly. Paul and I exchange looks. "Come on, then, let's get a move on before John gets back. Hurry, hurry!" Mimi ushers us out of her house and locks the door behind her. Paul glances at me with a quirked eyebrow as if asking me what is going on. I simply shrugged and offer him the same look.

Paul and I follow Mimi curiously as she walks purposefully down the street in silence. The graceful woman doesn't stop until we reach the bus stop and waits patiently for the next one to appear, all without a word of explanation. When the massive beast of a bus groans to a halt before us, I can't help but crack a smile at the memories John had given me with them. Paul shoots a knowing smirk my way when he sees my face. I childishly stick my tongue out at him as I step onto the bus behind Mimi. The three of us find some seats and wait for where ever it is Mimi's going.

About twenty minutes later, John's aunt finally rises to her feet and exits the bus. She still hasn't spoken a word to either of us since she shooed us out of her house. I mean, I usually like the quiet, but this is unsettling me. The proud woman walks briskly down the street clutching her purse to her chest. Her thin, red lips are drawn into a tight frown and her brown eyes are wildly flicking all around. She's acting as if someone is about to jump out in front of her and snatch away her blue bag. Mimi isn't generally a warm, fuzzy person, but she's also certainly not this anxious woman before me. She's so uptight and tense that it's rolling off her in waves.

"Mimi, where are we going? And why are you so tense?" I have to ask. Her unusual behavior is driving me crazy.

Finally, she stops, and so abruptly I might add, that I nearly crash right into her. She whirls around, eyes wide, "What?"

"Why are you so tensed up? You seemed fine at the house? Is something wrong?" Paulie question, concern lacing his voice. So he noticed it, too.

She glances around before leaning toward us and whispering in a hushed voice, "I've got $150 in my purse right now."

"Mimi!" Paul and I exclaim in unison. Panicked, she shushes us quickly, but seems to loosen up a little. The dark haired woman explains, "I just feel like everyone can see right through my bag and that they'll try to steal it all, you know?"

I giggle softly, "Uh, no, I don't. I've never exactly had any money of my own. Let alone that much in just my purse."

Paul sends me a sad look when he realizes I mentioned my sad childhood but I ignore it. I'm happy now, so I refuse to dwell on it. Mimi lets out a short laugh. Relief floods through me when she seems to be back to her usual self. "So, why exactly do you have that much money on you anyway, if you don't mind me asking?" I wonder curiously.

We return to walking and eventually we reached that little music store where I'd last seen John the first time I ever came to Liverpool. "I want to get a present for John," she says turning toward us. Paul gets what she wants to buy before I do, a wide grin spreading across his face. "That's why I wanted you to come, Paul. I do not like your boys' music, but I am not blind to the fact that you seem to know a good deal about it. So will you help me pick out a new guitar for him? The one he's got is getting a bit worn with how much he plays it." She waits a few moments to let it sink in.

"I'd luv to help, ma'am. I know just the one he'd want," Paulie smiles and opens the door for the two of us.

"You're getting him a guitar!" I ask in disbelief, seeing the smile she's trying to repress. "That's so sweet, Mimi!" I think this is incredibly wonderful of Mimi, buying a guitar for John, but I can't help but feel a little down. To know that I'd lost all that. To know that I'd lost anyone willing to do such a thing for me. It makes me miss my parents and I can my heart ache all over again from their absence. But I don't want to bring down the mood, so I simply shove my sadness back down from whence they came and put on a partly genuine smile. I scan over the wall of new records while Mimi and Paul look for a guitar. Not moments later, I feel two arms wrap around my shoulders. Sighing, I loosely drape my arms around my hugger's waist.

"Don't look so down, luv. I can see it in your eyes that yer sad, so don't lie and show me that fake smile," Paulie murmurs in my ear. I hug the boy tight and bury my face in his neck. Just like John, Paul seems to have a way of seeing right through me.

"Thanks, Paulie, I think I needed that hug. Sorry, I guess seeing Mimi like this makes me miss my parents," I admit stepping out of his grasp. His big, brown eyes are warm and inviting. "Sadie, yer the girl of me best mate's dreams. I'll always be there when ye need me, so don't apologize. I lost me mum, I know how it hurts. And unfortunately, now John does too. But don't you ever forget fer a minute that ye've got us now. And we'll do anything fer ye."

At these words, I give him the 100% genuinely happy smile that he'd been looking for. "You have no idea how lucky I am to have met you all, Paulie. No idea, at all." I have come to realize these past few weeks that I am not as alone as I thought I was, and all with a little help from my friends.

Smiling, he slings an arm across my shoulder and we stroll over to where Mimi is standing. I stifle a laugh when I see her holding a brand new guitar awkwardly by its neck and staring it down distastefully. Upon catching sight of us, she smiles and thrusts the guitar into my hands. Rolling my eyes, I grab a hold of it and we follow her out onto the bustling street.

"Oh, why don't we go get some tea?" Mimi asks suddenly. The two of us agree and Paul takes the guitar from me as we enter Mimi's favorite little café.

"Where are we going to hide this? He'll be snooping around worse than a little kid before Christmas if he catches wind of this shopping trip," Paul asks.

"Well, what if we take it to your house, Paul?" Mimi suggests, taking a seat. I sit on the plush, red chair and glance over the menu. The two of them order tea while I get a hot chocolate.

"No, Paulie's house is out of the question seeing as John practically lives there…I bet he'd be able to sniff it out," I joke, though it probably is true, knowing that boy. "We could leave it at Georgie's. I'm one of the few that actually goes over there. I've got to meet up with Rita in half an hour and it's on the way to his house. I'll drop it off."

"Oi, McCartney! That you?" a deep voice calls across the tiny room. The boy whips his head up and a smile appears on his face when he takes the man in. Then, rising to his feet, he says, "Excuse me, ladies. I'll be back."

As soon as he leaves, I gush, "Oh my goodness, John is going to love this! I can't wait to see his face!"

"Yes, I'm sure he'll enjoy it. I still don't understand what is so appealing about strumming strings attached to a hunk of wood, though." Mimi shakes her head at the guitar seated beside me and takes a sip of her tea. I blow the steam off the surface of my mug. "I don't know, but I'm certainly glad he has it," I say with a shrug. Seeing the curious expression on her face, I continue, "It's amazing what music does for him. He could be in the foulest of moods imaginable and all he'd have to do is pick up his guitar and sing. It never fails to make him happy. It used to confuse me-the way he could change moods so quickly. But now I guess I'm just used to it."

Mimi considers this and sips the last of drops of her tea daintily. "You make him happy, too, you know. I think you're the best decision that boys ever made, honestly."

Blushing, and not knowing what to say, I simply drink my hot cocoa. She offers me a small smile and waits for Paul to return. The said boy comes rushing back over not seconds later. "I've gotta get goin', but thanks fer bringin' me. Good-bye, Mimi. Catch ye round, Sadie, say hi to John fer me, will ya?" Paulie places a quick kiss on my forehead before disappearing. I excuse myself and thank Mimi for letting me help.

"Well, I will be out visiting a friend for two nights, so why don't you give it to John?" Mimi asks me with a sly smile and twinkle in her eyes. I look up at her in shock. "You want _me _to give it to him? But you're the one who bought it!"

"What difference does that make? I want it to come from you. It's my gift to you. And your gift to John. And I know that he will love it."

I am at a loss for words. What she is doing is such kind gesture that I don't even know what to say. I'm not used to such kind people anymore. "Thank you, Mimi," I finally whisper and give her a hug. She seems a bit taken aback but still returns it. "Don't mention it. Now run along before you're late, dear."

* * *

"Good morning, Sadie," Rita greets me cheerily as I enter her gallery. I rush in and hold up one finger to tell her to give me a minute. She watches me warily when I bend over, hands on my knees, and gasp for breath. "Damn...I didn't know-how out- of shape I was," I pant, finally straightening up to look at her. The brightly dressed woman eyes my red face and tired demeanor.

"What happened to you, love?" she giggles, her inner child coming out. "Mimi bought John a new guitar and I dropped it off on the way here. But it took a lot longer than I thought 'cause Georgie's having girl problems and he's like a little brother to me so I sat down and we talked for a really long time and I think they're gonna break up and I feel awful because I feel like I forced him to go after her and I-"

"Christ, Sadie, take a breath, would you?" Rita teases with a chuckle.

"Sorry, I just didn't want to be late, so I ran the rest of the way here. Not a good decision. All those boys I hang out with smoke like they're chimneys, yet they are still in far better shape than I am."

"Well, I'm right there with you, then. But I'm not going to worry about it unless I started huffing and puffing just to pick up a paintbrush. Then I'd get a little worried. Now, catch your breath and then we'll get to work. We've got two potential buyers coming in at 11:30."

I smile happily and trail after her into her obscenely orange office. "I still can't tell you how grateful I am that you're letting me work for you."

The woman simply waves away my gratitude with her hand, "Don't worry about it, darling. I think you know by now that I need all the help I can get. I mean, you've been here two weeks now and already it's like a different place. A far better one at that. Now what do you say we just paint all day? How does that sound?"

My whole face lit up at her suggestion. Any chance to be able to use real paint instead of pencils is a huge deal for me. I am met with her equally happy face and the two of us race into her main painting room.

Four hours later and the two of us are rolling on the ground, laughing so hard we need to wipe the tears from our eyes. What began as an innocent splatter of paint became an all out paint war. Our hair had been all tucked up under bandanas, thank goodness, so our hair was safe, but the same can't be said for our clothes or the rest of the room. Rita's covered in a dark green paint while I'm covered in a light blue. We both roll onto our backs and lay side by side until our laughter dies down. "Oh dear…" Rita sighs happily.

"Rita," I say suddenly, turning to look at her, "I wanna do this."

"Do what, darling?" she wonders, raising an eyebrow.

"This. Art. Like you do. I want that to be me someday," I admit, suddenly sheepish about my honesty. She beams at me, "I couldn't imagine you doing anything else, honestly. Wouldn't seem right. You're perfect for it, Sadie." Heat rises to my cheeks at her words, but I still smile. I can't wait to tell John that I now knew what I wanted to do.

"Alright, we should probably clean up now, don't you think?" she questions. We both glance around the room before looking at each other. I say, "You know, I think it looks pretty the way it looks now." At the same time Rita goes, "I'm sure there's no harm in leaving it tomorrow." We laugh and she sighs, "Oh we are such lazy artists, my dear Sadie."

I shrug, not at all bothered by that fact. I am absolutely exhausted, and the thought of cleaning right now makes me want to cry. Just as I turn to grab my dirty paintbrush, I feel a pair of strong arms snake around my waist. And this time I know for sure that it's not Paulie. "Hi, Johnny," I whisper with a grin as he places a kiss on my neck. A shiver runs down my spine when he does so, so naturally, he kisses it again. Blushing like mad at his outright display of affection in front of Rita, I sneak out of his grasp. I whip around to be met with a pouting John. Oh, please anything but that puppy dog face, John.

"Sadie y luv me puppy dog face, don't deny it," John teases. Oh crap, did I say that out loud? Rita laughs, "Yes. You did, Sadie."

"Ugh, I really need to stop that!" I exclaim, frustrated at myself. John merely chuckles to himself and scans me over. His brow furrows when he takes the two of us in finally. "Um, why are ye covered in paint, luvs?"

I glance at Rita out of the corner at my eye at the same time she does and we burst out in giggles. "Dear God, why do I leave you two alone together? Nothin' good ev'r comes of it." John lets out an exaggerated sigh. "Alright, well, we were gonna meet up with the lads for dinner, but you're not goin' out lookin' like a bloody Smurf."

That just brings about another round of giggles from us girls. You'd never guess that we are 17 and 36 from the way we act together some times. And I think John's finally beginning to realize this. With a roll of his eyes he says good-bye to Rita and takes my hand. I call out a farewell over my shoulder. Rita simply waves and smiles after us, winking at our entangled hands. I can still hear her laughter as we push through the front doors.

Before we hit the sidewalk, though, John pulls me around and gives me a quick kiss. It hardly lasts 3 seconds but it's still enough to have my heart racing. And it will always be enough.

* * *

John keeps glancing at me warily out the corner of his eye as we walk to dinner. I know I need to contain my excitement, but the thought of his face when he's sees the guitar is enough to have me completely wired up. And it's really hard to get away without seeming suspicious when you're hiding something from a boy who seems to have nothing better to do than stare at you. "John, will you stop looking at me like that?" I scold in exasperation, more at myself than him. He jumps a little at my sudden outburst and his cheeks turn a bit pink. Awww.

"Like what?"

"Like-like-oh I don't know, just stop!"

All I receive is a. I'm about to smack that smug look off his face, but a familiar voice calls out my name. "Pru!" I shout in delight. The small girl runs over to me and attacks me with a fierce hug. "I missed you so much!"

"I missed you, too! I was so bored without you," Pru agrees, hugging me tighter. Behind us, John clears his throat. "So, Pru…I see ye've gotten over her 'John cooties'," he teases with a devilish smirk. I feel Pru freeze in my arms. I can practically feel her blood running cold. Ever so slowly, she pulls away from me, her eyes shooting daggers. "YOU TOLD HIM?!"

I smile sheepishly, "Hehehe?"

"I hate you sooooo much right now! The both of you!" the tiny girl yells. I wince at her irritation but John just lets out a bark of laughter. I glare at him before attacking her with a hug of my own. Reluctantly, she returns it. "I really did miss you," I say hoping to get back on her good side.

"Didn't ye see each other two days ago?" Johns wonders, our behavior confusing him, no doubt.

Pru doesn't let go of me, but instead turns the both of us so she can glare at him. "No one asked you, John."

The boy simply rolls his eyes at her and winks at me.

Finally letting go, I link my arm with Pru and grab John's hand in my free one. The rest of the walk to the diner isn't very eventful. I shiver in the cold night air and snuggle closer to John. Noticing this, he drops my hand to drape his arm across my shoulders and pulls me close. Pru immediately ditches us once we reach the diner. Georgie gives her a smile and a wave and that's it. I've lost her for the night. Paul, George, and Stu are already seated at our usual overcrowded booth. John and I join Pru and them shortly.

When the others are lost in their own conversations, I nudge John with my elbow. He raises an eyebrow at me. "Hey," I say lamely, not sure what else to add. He offers me a smirk. Finally, I decide to just blurt it out. "John, I've got a surprise for you!" Only, at the exact same time, John announced, "Sadie, I've got a surprise for you!" We stare at each other in surprise. "You do?" we ask, once again at the same time.

"Oh Sadie!" a once familiar voice squeals excitedly. Momentarily forgetting the surprise for the boy beside me, my head whips around to see a beaming blond. It can't be…

"Lucy!" I cry in awe. I turn to John in wonder and he shrugs nonchalantly. I peck him on the cheeks before standing up and throwing myself at the blond. "Oh my gosh, Lucy, I can't believe you're here!"

"I know. Pru rang me up saying John wanted to know if I could come up to visit you. So I'm staying at hers for a couple days. It's so good to see you!" she babbles in a giant rush, much like me this morning with Rita.

I pull her down into the booth beside me, squishing John between me and Stu. John nods at Lucy and winks slyly, "She talked about ye so much I started to wonder if I had somethin' to worry 'bout."

She eyes him cautiously. "I still don't like you very much."

"Thank you!" Pru burst out suddenly. When everyone turns to stare at her she blushes a deep crimson. Paul, Stu, and Georgie laugh. "Sadie's prob'ly the only one who does."

John pretends to appear wounded by their words, "I'm hurt, lads! Have I no friends?"

I throw my arm around his neck and plant a purposely sloppy kiss on his cheek. "At least you've got me!"

Jokingly he mutters, "Oh joy! I feel so special." Smiling, I place a quick kiss on his lips which causes the others to groan. I look at them disapprovingly and scold, "Don't give me any of that. Don't think I didn't see you two sucking face outside the Cavern last time you were here!" I point accusingly at Lucy and Paul. I'm kidding, of course, because I saw no such event. The two of them, however, blush and look extremely guilty.

"Look, it wuz a onetime thing-" Paul begins just as Lucy desperately says "Yea, we just-it was just that once-" The two quickly trail off when they take in our shocked faces. "Wait…you actually did kiss?" I ask in amazement. None of us can help but laugh when Lucy buries her face in her hands. John claps an incredibly embarrassed Paul on the back.

Finally, after all embarrassing moments are over, I shoot Georgie a look. He returns it with a slight nod toward the counter. Excusing myself, I get up and pick up John's gift. When I return with it, he's got his back to me. Stu points at me over John's shoulder and the boy spins around. John gazes up at me in awe. And I am shocked that this look of pure delight is trained on me, and not the guitar. He takes it and holds it carefully. He plucks a few strings happily before once again focusing his attention on me. The smile on his face is so worth it. "Thank you, my angel face," he murmurs in my ear.

* * *

"Mate, ye comin' home or ye goin' with Sadie?" Stu calls out. John grins and says, "I'm goin' with Sadie. I need to talk to Mimi anyhow."

"Ew, Sadie, promise no John Cooties, okay?" Prudence wrinkles her nose and shudders at the thought. Lucy shoots her a strange look. "No _what_?" Pru waves it off and says, "Tell you later."

I blush a deep red at the thought of Lucy knowing why Pru's worried about John cooties. Dear God, why do I do these things to myself?

We all say goodnight and go our separate ways with promises of meeting up tomorrow. John twined his fingers in mine and guided us back to Mimi's. I wait while he fishes his key out of his pocket and unlocks the door. He pushes it open for me to go in. And no sooner do I set foot in the house does he pin me up against the wall, his lips crashing down on mine.

Losing all other thoughts than the boy kissing me, I wrap my arms around his neck, my hands running through his hair. He pulls me up against him, hands roaming my body. The intensity of this kiss is making my heart race a mile a minute and all I can think about is how I just want more. My head's spinning from lack of oxygen when his lips leave mine. John trails kisses down my jaw and down my neck, finally stopping just below my ear. I gasp when he nips at the skin there, the butterflies in my stomach fluttering like mad. His grip on my hips tighten and he pulls me away from the wall. His lips return to mine as he clumsily guides us into the living room without once breaking the kiss. It's not until I feel my back hit the sofa that I realize what's going on.

Gasping, I shove him away from me, wide eyed and appalled by my behavior. John gazes down at me, breathing unevenly but glowing with happiness. "What's wrong, my angel face?"

"John, you know we can't. Mimi…she'd kill you! And then me!" I exclaim frantically. A smirk spreads across his face. "Well then, I guess it's a good thing that she's in Leeds then, innit?"

I gasp at this information. "You knew full well she wouldn't be here, yet you still told everyone that you were coming here to talk to her!"

His smirk only broadened. "Exactly. And now that we're here…and she's not…and there is a rather wonderful bed upstairs just waiting for us…"

"John Lennon, you cheeky bastard!" I scold, giggling and smack him playfully. "Are you really suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"

"If it includes you somehow ending up with 'John cooties', then why yes, I most certainly am," John admits with another one of his ever so devilish grins.

* * *

_**A/N: Oh dear, Sadie, what have you gotten yourself into?(; well hope you liked it! i have to say it feels really good to be able to give you guys something more. i missed it a lot. hope you enjoyed it and if so, let me know! (-hehe that rhymed)**_


	23. Ain't She Sweet

_**A/N:**** Hiyaaa everybody! Guess what-I didn't make you wait like 6 months for an update this time!=D and it's all thanks to jillygurl777! Without her I wouldn't have found the motivation and inspiration to work on this story. Seriously, after talking things out with this most wondrous girl I now know exactly where this story's headed and roughly how long it's gonna take to get there. Now it's all planned out and I can't wait to finish it! You have her to thank for this update, and the next to come! Check out her story In My Life, and let her know what you think! you'll love it! Go drop her a thank you for getting me back into this story if you can, she deserves it:)**_

_**Anyway, read on and (hopefully) enjoy!:)**_

_Chapter 23  
Ain't She Sweet_

"Lucy, I just still can't quite believe you're really here!" I exclaim in delight as we stroll down the empty street. The bubbly blond links arms with Pru and me with a contagious smile on her face. The three of us had decided to spend as much time together as possible, much to the boys' annoyance. John was definitely the least pleased when I told him I'd see him in a few days. Pru couldn't stop laughing at his irritated expression which certainly didn't help his already grumpy mood.

"Well, I was kind of surprised to get a call asking to come out. I had just gotten back from visiting Annie and I-"

"Annie?" I cut her off frantically, digging my feet into the sidewalk. Pru and Lucy stumbled as they got jerked back by my sudden halt. "You've seen Annie?!" I demanded.

Lucy gives me a strange look and detaches herself from me to say, "Yea. I visit her every Tuesday. I went once and just fell in love with her! She's the most adorable little girl, I couldn't not go back to see her. Ain't she sweet? I can't get enough of her."

My mouth fell open, whether in shock or jealousy, I'm sure. I place my hands on her shoulders and give her a small shake. "Why wouldn't you mention something that important sooner?"

Lucy shrugs sheepishly and casts her blue eyes downward. "I didn't want to bring any bad memories up..."

My expression softens at her concern and in a gentler tone, I tell her, "Luce, Annie's the only good thing from there. The only reason I let myself miss it."

Pru frowns and shakes her head, puzzled. "Wait. You miss that awful place?" she questions in horror. The dark haired girl takes a step back from me as we enter Prince's Park. Her brown eyes scan me over as if looking for some visible sign that I've officially gone crazy.

"No, no. I just miss Annie. I don't like to think about how I just left her there," I sigh before collapsing onto the bench I had so often shared with John. The two shoot me sympathetic looks, but I ignore them. "I don't like talking to John about it, because I know he'll feel like he's not enough for me, but I feel like the worst person in the world for just up and leaving. He says those girls didn't care enough about me to help, so I shouldn't worry about them now that I'm gone. But Annie's different. She was like a little sister to me. And I just abandoned her. Sometimes I'll see a little girl that looks just like her and think that Annie would be just as happy with a family of her own somewhere."

Lucy slings a kind arm across my shoulders and pulls me to her. Frowning, I rest my head on her shoulder. "Sadie," the blond sighs, "you deserve to be as happy as you are here. Don't worry about Annie. I promise she's the same sweet little girl you knew when you left. All the girls know what you did was what you needed to do. They've taken her under their wing just as much as I have. She doesn't know where you are, but she keeps whispering to me that you ran off with the guitar boy you fell in love with..."

I let out a sad laugh at the thought of the story I told that girl what feels like ages ago. She never fails to make me smile at her cuteness. I tried not to think about how that story involved the girl getting caught by her aunt and taken back. The beginning of the story was just too close for comfort to think of that. I can only hope mine and John's story won't go there.

"Now, don't get mad that I saved this till now, but I wanted to wait until it was just us, Sadie," Lucy murmurs, retracting her arm from my shoulders. She turns away and rummages for something in the messenger bag she brought with her. She straightens up when she gets hold of whatever it is she was looking for. Without a word, Lucy hands over a think white envelope. Glancing up at her curiously, I accept the letter and open it carefully. A cluster of folded papers falls out. I pick up the top paper from where it landed in my lap. When I take it in, it's all I have not to cry.

It's a vibrantly colorful scribbled drawing no doubtedly done by Annie herself. Her disproportional stick figures as clearly labeled as her, John, and me. My crazy hair is colored in with a crimson red and going in all different directions. I smile at her nearly accurate depiction of it. She gave me huge green eyes that made me giggle. John's the tallest of the three, colored all in black with brown eyes. There's a guitar in one of his hands while the other is holding mine. The sight of it makes me want to run all the way back to London just to give her a hug. My other hand is being held by the little girl herself, naturally. She's got yellow hair brighter than dandelions and she's wearing a purple polka dotted dress. The very same dress she arrived at the orphanage with. The most heartwarming part of her whole drawing, though, is the massive smile she's drawn on her sweet little face as she stands beside me. Sniffing, I rub my eyes in effort to keep the tears from escaping.

The next paper is filled from margin to margin with her wobbly handwriting.

_Dear Sadie,_

_I miss your stories and yor songs. The gurls say yor happy but I no that better than them. I no your happy with Johnny. I wish I cud hear him sing again. That was fun! It's lonely here without you but Lucy is really nice to me. She doesn't say but I think she misses you too. And I'm happy too. I'm getting a family, Sadie! A real mommy and daddy, just for me! I wish I cud really tell you that but-_

I threw the letter down, not able to read any more. I bury my face in my hands to hide from my friends watchful eyes. I'm sure if I feel like bawling my eyes out because I feel horrible or because I'm ecstatic for little Annie. Either way, I still relish the feel of Peru and Lucy's comforting hugs as the crush me to them both. The more time I spend with the boys, the more distant my worries for her became. It almost didn't feel real anymore, like it was from another more dreadful life. I thought about her often, despite all the people to telling me to let her go. I hadn't intended to do so, but lately thoughts of her had been fading to the back of my mind. I'd let my new, happier life fog up my memories of the little girl. And that made me feel awful because she clearly hasn't forgotten about me. I mean, she wrote a letter to me knowing full well the likelihood of me ever seeing it was practically nonexistent.

"W-when did she write this?" I stammer out, breaking free from their embraces. The two girls, completely contrasting in both appearance and character, gaze up at me sadly. I try to calm my rapid breaths and heaving chest. Lucy reaches her hand out to take my shaking one. "About a week ago. Why? I thought you'd like it," she says slowly.

I shake my head and don't bother to brush away the tear that slides down my cheek. "She's-she's getting adopted," I barely manage to choke out.

"Well, that's great, isn't it? Isn't that what you've been wanting for her?" Peru ask in a confused but gentle tone.

Frustrated at myself, I shake my head and ball up my fists. "Yea, but I just left her all alone and yet she still writes that to me like I'm the best thing in her world. And I ran away like a fucking coward, tail between my legs, and now I'll never get to see her again! I'll never be able to explain to her exactly why I left her behind. I'm so unbelievably relieved she's found a family, but it's just all so...final. I ruined my last few months with her, and I won't ever get a chance to make it up to her," I admit in a defeated voice, my shoulders slumped forward.

Lucy jumps to her feet before I can say another word. I stagger backwards in absolute shock when I feel the palm of her hand slap against my cheek. Her brow is furrowed in a determined manner as she stares me down. "Will you pull yourself together, woman? This isn't time for pity party! Not that you're really having one, but you need to stop being so hard on yourself, Sadie. You did what you had to, end of story. As for Annie, she still loves you and now she's being taken in by a family. She'll be safe, and you won't ever have to worry about her again. I'll tell her anything you want me to, but let's not dwell on this the rest of the day, alright? We're here to have fun, so let's cheer the fuck up and go have some, okay?"

I blink at her, utterly speechless. That is probably the last thing I would've expected her to say right then. Especially the last part. Nodding in silent agreement, I pull Peru to her feet and start off with my two friends. I put on a fake cheerful front, but all I do the entire is think, thought after thought abut everything I've done and everything I want to do. Annie's letter and drawing seem to burn a hole in my pocket, an ever oppressing reminder of what I needed to make right, once and for all.

Before the day is over, my mind is made up, and not even John's stubbornness will be able to hinder my plans.

* * *

"No. Absolutely not. There's not a chance in hell that I'm ever lettin' you go back to that place!" John cries with a serious face. I place my hands on my hips and glare at him. "It's not your decision to make, John," I respond coolly.

The dark haired boy frowns irritably and he shoots me an offended look. "Sadie, it may not be my decision, but I feel like I should at least have a say in this," he says.

"You do, John. And I know that it's that you don't want me to go. I understand. But if I don't then I'll never see her again. And I'm not okay with that," I inform him firmly, steadfast in my desire to bid farewell to Annie.

"Well, I'm not okay with you goin' off an' puttin' herself in harm's way. Especially if I can't be there with ye." I sigh, softening up at his murmured words. I take his hand into my own and give it a reassuring squeeze. He stares down at our entwined frown with a sad expression. "I just don't wanna risk losing you Ta that God awful woman," he admits quietly.

I run my fingers through his hair and force him to look at me. I gaze up into his unusually dull brown eyes and comfort him by saying, "You won't lose me. I already have everything all planned out. Lucy's going to take Annie for a walk like she usually does, and we'll meet up far away from the orphanage. Ms. Kollins won't ever know I'm even in the city. And Rita's headed to London for an art exhibit for one of her friends anyway, so I'll be traveling and staying with her. It's just two days. I'll see Annie, help Rita, and stay clear of trouble. And you'll stay here, not worry about me, and play some more gigs with your wonderful band. Is that too much to ask, Johnny?"

He lets out a heavy sigh before tugging me to him. I throw my arms around his neck and bury my face against his shoulder. His lips make my skin tingle when they brush against my neck as he whispers, "Alright, fine. I don't like this at all, but I know how important it is to you. Just two days, right?"

I nod against his chest letting hope well up inside me. I can't believe I'll actually be able to do this!

"Just promise me ya won't do nuthin' to put herself at risk, will ya?" he asks worriedly. I pull back to smile up at him teasingly. "Why?" I smirk, "Are you saying you'd miss me?"

John frowns and plays with my hands rather than respond right away. "Sadie, I'd never forgive myself if something happened to ya because what I agreed to," John states in the most serious voice I'd ever heard him use. It takes a second for his words to sink in, but when they do, I can't help but beam up at him. John's not one to carelessly toss around affectionate words, but that just makes things like this all the more meaningful. It struck me realizing just how much I meant to him. Not that I didn't before, but little things like that made me feel so incredibly loved.

"I love you, Johnny. And I'm not about to risk any of what we made. Nothing would be worth that. I promise I'll be careful, but you don't have to worry about me. I'll be back before you even know I'm gone." I smile brightly at him.

"Thank you, luv. You don't know what you mean to me, my angel face," he chuckles sheepishly.

I blush and poke some fun at him. "Aw, well ain't you sweet."

John glares at me playfully before unexpectedly hiking me up over his shoulder. I shriek girlishly at his sudden mood change and actions. My wonderful guitar player of a boyfriend carries me down the stairs and into the living room. I groan when he jerks to a stop without any warning, blood rushing to my head. "Johnny!" I whine, "Put me-"

"Welll, this certainly wasn't quite what I was expecting to find when I came home," an all too familiar voice says. My cheeks heat up as John sets me down. We turn to face a pursed lipped Mimi. "I thought I asked you two to make dinner."

"Uh, wull, we got kinda sidetracked, admittedly," John shrugs. Mimi raises a skeptical eyebrow at him, so he further explains, "Sorry, Mimi, but it was a much needed conversation. We'll explain later."

Mimi narrows her eyes at us and mutters through clenched teeth, "I swear to the two of you that if you're about to tell me you got her pregnant after everything I said to you-"

"No, no, no! Nothing like that, Mimi. My God. Y'always think the worst of me!" John cries indignantly, throwing his hands up into the air. I snicker at his exasperation behind the hand I hold up to my mouth. He shoots me a betrayed look when I tease, "Because you usually are up to the worst...?"

John gives us both his best wounded puppy dog face. Mimi simply rolls her eyes whilst I resist the urge to go, 'Awwww!'.

"If yet done gainin' up on me...I'd like to say that Sadie's decided to make a trip to London with Rita. For an art exhibit," John pipes up after a moment of silence. Mimi narrows her eyes yet again and the corner of her lips twitch downwards into a disapproving frown. My hope falls back down at the negative expression on her cross face. 'I don't know if that's the best idea..." she begins slowly? I nod in defeat until she suddenly sighs, "But if it's for your job with Rita, then I suppose that's fine."

Shocked by her seal of approval, I thank her so profusely that she needs up leaving the room in a rush. I turn to John with a quicker eyebrow. "You didn't say anything about Annie, John. I'm not really going for this art thing," I mention, a little confused.

"If Mimi thought ya even had one in a million chances of meeting up with someone from the home, she wouldn't let ya go anywhere London. What she doesn't know will be your only way to get back there," John explains simply.

"So, just don't bring up the whole truth? Just the important true bits?" I wonder curiously.

"Precisely."

"John, you're telling me to lie to you aunt!" I scold.

He simply smirks at me with a wolfish grin. "Yea? So?"

I shake my head at him and make my way out of them room. Muttering under my breath but loud enough for him to hear, I say, "And he wonders why she thinks the worst of him..."

"Hey! I heard that!"

* * *

"Just promise me you'll _please _be careful?" John insists for what I have to say must be the millionth time. I roll my eyes at his dramatics but nod all the same. Lucy smirks at us while Rita waits in line for our tickets. I'm entirely positively this boy never would've agreed had I not been traveling with the older artist. He acts like such a reckless trouble maker sometimes, but he really can be such a worry wart at times. I give him a quick peck on the lips since Lucy is hovering just two feet away. I promise John yet again before he finally lets me go.

"John, we may not know each other well, but I assure you that I will do whatever it takes to keep my best friend safe. So relax, will you?" Lucy reassures the nervous boy with a kind and gentle voice. John flashes her a small smile and replies with a, "Thank ya, luv."

Rita comes bustling over to us, face bright and excited. She waves three tickets at us and enthusiastically exclaims, "Let's climb aboard, shall we?"

Both Lucy and Rita know enough to give John and me some space for a moment. I wait until they step into the train to attack him with a hug so forceful he staggers backward, almost falling over from it. I smile against his neck when I feel his chuckles shaking his whole body. I place a kiss on his cheek as he sighs, "I'll admit it, l'm gonna miss ya, luv."

I slip down out of his arms and onto my feet. "Don't worry, I won't let anything happen. Just you focus on the band, John. I'll see you Thursday!" With one last kiss, I reluctantly turn away from him and bound up the steps of the train. I find Lucy and Rita sitting in a box nearly identical to the one I first met John and the rest of the boys in. I smile at the thought despite the uneasiness that settles upon me at the first starting jolt of the train pulling out. We have every minute of these next two days planned out so that I can avoid any possible run ins with a certain evil beast of a woman, but I just can't seem to shake that lingering feeling of dread each minute the train brings us closer to London.

Putting on my best fake smile, I force myself to think of Annie and how she's worth all this stress. Because, if I didn't have her to think about then, I might've driven myself mad with all the bad feelings I'm getting about going back now. I didn't know it would be so hard to leave Liverpool and John, but even if it is to see Annie, I'm not sure if it's the best idea after all.

My nerves are forgotten the minute we lurch to a stop in the London station though. The reality of being able to see my favorite six year old for the first time in two months finally hit me. After I say good-bye, I will finally have a chapter in my life that I can honestly say has been completely resolved, no loose ends left over that will wait in hiding until they feel like coming back to haunt me. It will do me some much needed good to see her end up in a place as good as the one I'm in now in Liverpool.

I hop off the last step of the train onto the bustling platform. It's alive with whistles and bells and shouts. Lucy looks a little relieved to be back on familiar ground while Rita's already heading toward the exit. The blazing sun has decided to come out of hiding and it greets us with a smile through the thin gray clouds trying to repress its happy rays. Lucy skips after the artist while I lag behind a big, taking in the familiar city. I don't have a good feeling about being back, but then again, I don't feel too bad about it either. With a shrug, I trail along behind my two quirky companions, shaking my head at the situation I've managed to drag myself into this time. I can only hope it'll be worth it considering all the worry I'm subjecting John and Mimi to.

* * *

_**A/N: So, what'd ya think? Do you guys think something bad's gonna happen? Or do you think Sadie and Annie deserve their happily ever after finally? Let me know what you think please!**_


	24. Run For Your Life

Chapter 24

Run For Your Life

"No, Lucy, I came all this way, I am not waiting until tomorrow. I want to see her now!" I demand as I shove past the blond. I ignore her pleas for me to stop as I barrel down the cracked pavements. Butterflies found their way into my stomach as my eyes take in the familiar scene of London. Shaking off the nervousness suddenly seeping into me, I focus all my thoughts on seeing the delighted smile on Annie's face when I finally get to see her. Much to my annoyance, Lucy catches up to me and grabs hold of my arm. Startled by the sudden contact, I wrench my arm from her grasp and whirl around wildly.

Her baby blue eyes shine with pity as they gaze at my fierce expression. I glare at her, angry at being deterred from my mission. That is until her eyes flick over to Rita's figure standing outside the door of the station still. Shoulders slumped in defeat, I remember that, despite returning to London solely to visit Annie, I'm still here for a job, as well, so unfortunately I can't just run off.

So, rather than sprinting off to wrap Annie in my arms for what could possibly be the last time, Lucy and I fall into step and guide Rita to our hotel. "Oh, there's just so much here that would look just lovely in a painting, don't you think, Sadie?" the eccentric artist beams as we stroll through downtown. Lucy has to nudge my arm to get my attention and even when she does, all I offer in response is a less than enthusiastic grumble. Rita doesn't seem to notice my dark mood as I trudge on down the street.

"Ah, come on, Sadie. Cheer up!" Lucy tries, offering me an encouraging smile. I roll my eyes and snap under my breath, "I am in a city I hate, and I'm not allowed to go do the only thing I came her for! Why should I be cheery?"

The blond frowns and looks away, the truth of my words sinking in. I cross my arms and stare down at the ground as it passes underfoot. Sighing, I shake my head, "Sorry, Luce. I'm just a little more than unnerved about being back here. I'm afraid that every second longer it takes me to get to her is one second closer to her being gone forever. I mean, what if I'm already too late? What if she's already gone…?"

I have to turn my head away when I see Lucy's sympathetic eyes gazing at me sadly. I hate that look more than anything else in the world. She lazily drapes an arm across my shoulders and drags me close to her side. So Rita doesn't hear us, she whispers into my ear, "You'll get to see her, Sadie. Have some faith."

Not able to do anything different, I have no choice but to believe her assuring words. I thank her quietly before falling into a thoughtful silence. Minutes later, we reach our hotel. It's a small building, only two stories, but it's cute and it looks nice and cozy. Rita absolutely adores it. The woman gave Lucy a quick hug before dragging our bags inside. I linger outside the glass doors with my blond friend. She glances at me quickly before turning to leave.

"Wait!" I cry out to her retreating form. Her yellow hair swishes sweetly as she turns to face me. Her nearly invisible eyebrow quirks up questioningly. "I know I should be patient, but please…I need to see Annie. Soon."

Luce's eyes soften as she takes in my near desperate self and nods in agreement. "Alright. I'll go 'round and pick her up for a 'walk' at three. Where do you want to meet up? Somewhere far from…Ms. Kollins?" Lucy says her name awkwardly, knowing what the woman put me through and unsure how to bring it up.

Relief floods through me at the thought of finally seeing little Annie. I shoot the girl a genuine smile this time. After I tell her where to meet me, I lean against the rough red brick of the hotel and watch her fade into the distance. All this time later, and I still can't believe how good of friends I've managed to find. They treat me like family, not a thought of ever turning my so long neglected needs and wishes away. The selflessness of some people can be truly astounding.

"Sadie? Sadie, there you are!" a voice calls, pulling me from my thoughts. Rita's leaning out the door waving frantically at me. Snorting at how ridiculous my older friend appears, I launch myself away from the wall and stride over to her.

"I need to get some lunch. Care to join me?"

"What time is it, Rita?" I ask curiously as I fork my chicken. The woman wriggles her eyebrows in an alarmingly creepy way before joking, "Why? You gotta hot date?"

Blushing red, I choke a bit on the last bite I took. She laughs away at her not so funny joke. "Oh, I'm only teasing," she reassures. Then, she winks knowingly, "You and I both know that _your _hot date is back home strumming his guitar. Bet he's singing songs about how much he misses his angel face!"

"Riiiiita!" I groan in embarrassment, "Shut it!"

People start to stare at us when the seemingly sophisticated woman begins cackling up a storm. "I cannot believe I'm here with you right now when there are so many other, more normal, people out there," I sigh, though, admittedly, I'm laughing a bit myself. "Seriously, though. What's the time?"

"Two-thirty, about. Why?" she wonders as I rise to my feet. I smile gratefully down at her as I say, "Thanks so much for lunch, Rita. I've got to go meet Lucy right now. Don't know when I'll be back. Bye!"

Not giving her a chance to respond, I rush out of the little café. The bells on the door jingle as I shove it open. I smile at the welcoming sound. It's a cheery noise to start off my last small journey to see Annie. Nothing can damper my mood now as I race through the twisting and turning back streets of London. Every now and then I keep an eye out for someone familiar, but to my luck, everyone seems to be a stranger today. The thought makes my smile grow.

I reach the park I'd chosen to meet up at ten minutes early. I plop down onto the faded green bench and wring my hands together, suddenly nervous. How am I supposed to face someone I felt as though I abandoned? It doesn't sound like she hates me, but then again, that wouldn't be that hard to fake. Just the thought of her accusing doe eyes glaring at me with an uncharacteristic frown is enough to have my heart hammering in my chest. I'm not sure if I would be able to recover from something like that. However, all my fears are forgotten the minute I spot Lucy's golden hair.

I swear my scarred heart skips a beat when little Annie peaks out from behind Lucy's legs the way she used to do with me. Her eyes grow wide as the moon as soon as she takes me in. Her little mouth falls open and she lets out an ungodly shriek. "_Sadie_!"

I crouch down on the grass and spread my arms out wide as the little brunette comes racing toward me. Annie's giggles are contagious as she crashes into me. I fall backwards with the impact of her bear hug. Her scrawny arms wrap around my neck, locking so tightly I have a feeling she won't ever let go. I snake my arms around her tiny body and hug her to me, not caring in the slightest that I'm lying in the dirt. This is real. Annie's okay. The glowing child in my arms doesn't hate me. And, best of all, she's looks happier than I've ever seen her.

I won't admit this to anyone other than maybe John or Pru, but when I lie there like that knowing that my favorite person in the world is okay, I cry like a goddamn baby.

Annie pulls away from my grasp when she notices my tears. Her face scrunches up into a scowl. "Why are you crying, Sadie? Aren't you happy to see me?" she questions with the blunt curiosity of a six year old. Laughing through my happy tears, I nod vigorously, sitting us up. The girl snuggles up to me in my lap. "Of course I'm happy to see you, honey! That's why I'm crying, you silly girl. I didn't know if I ever would, and now you're right here with me!"

Annie tilts her head and seems to accept that. Then she beams at me with the luminosity of the sun. "I told everyone that you'd come back for me. They said you wouldn't, but I knew better!" she giggles proudly. I smile sweetly at her. How had I ever been able to leave her?

"I could never leave you behind, hon," I answer honestly, knowing all too well how true that is.

"Did Lucy give you my letter? And my pictures?"

"Yes, she did. They were beautiful, Annie! I hung them on my wall as soon as I got home," I admit truthfully. John's glowing smile when he saw the drawing of the three of us just about melted my heart right then and there.

"Home…" Annie trails off thoughtfully. "What's it like, Sadie?"

I gaze down at her curiously. "What do you mean?"

"Home," she repeats, "What's it like? Is it nice? Will I like it?"

"Are you taking about being adopted, Annie?" I wonder in a gentle voice. With a pout and a shrug, Annie sighs. "Honey, you've got nothing to worry about. Having a home is…the most wonderful thing anyone could ever ask for. You're going to love it, I promise."

The young girl still doesn't seem convinced, but her sad frown is growing smaller. "But what about you? What if I can't see you anymore?"

I smile sadly. "Annie, you're going to have a mommy and a daddy that will love you better than I ever could. Remember that. I'll never forget you, so don't go thinking I will, you hear? I'll always be there with you somehow, okay?"

Seemingly satisfied, Annie jumps to her feet and holds out a hand. Grinning, I grab it and let her 'help' pull me up to my feet. I glance around and notice that Lucy's made herself scarce. "I wanna show you something, Sadie! Follow me!"

At this point, I would follow this beautiful little girl anywhere so long as it means a couple extra minutes with her.

Annie plows her way down the dirt path, heading deeper into the trees. I smile down at her as I rush to keep up with her fast pace. We don't stop until we reach the biggest tree in the small park. "Lucy came to tell me you were happy, Sadie," Annie begins suddenly, letting go of my hand to flop down onto the grass. More gracefully, I lower myself down next to her. The brunette gazes up at me with a childish grin. "She said she was your friend and that you were happy where ever it was you went to. And she started coming 'round to take me out places. We found this tree and it's our favorite place to come. I wanted you to see it because I know how much you used to like it in the garden..."

Instead of pretending that everything was all fine, I cut right to the questions that have been running through my mind since I left. "Annie, how has it been? At the home? You'd tell me if there was something that…wasn't right, wouldn't you?"

Sensing the seriousness in my tone, Annie frowns. She casts her innocent eyes down to the green grass and remains silent. "Annie?"

"It's just sad. Without you there, I mean. I miss you, Sadie. But I know that you fell in love with that guitar boy...so I try to be happy," the little girl sighs sadly. My heart cries out for her and I feel even worse about so thoughtlessly leaving her behind. I reach my hands out to cradle her chubby baby cheeks, "And Ms. Kollins?" I practically choke out.

Annie shrugs. "The same, I guess. She was really, really mad when you left. She was calling all kinds of people to go find you. She shouted a lot more than normal, too. Everyone was so worried about you. Only because we knew if she caught you, bad things would happen. I told everyone you were fine, and they believed me," she explains thoughtfully. Annie looks up at me to see if her answer was what I wanted to hear.

"No one asked you where I went?" I wonder curiously. If she had been going around saying I was alright, hadn't anyone thought to question her on my whereabouts? I mean, it isn't very hard to fool even the most well- meaning five year old. They haven't accumulated enough deceit in their short lives to hide the truth from a person using pretty words. Though, at the same time, I wouldn't put it past Ms. Kollins to completely overlook Annie because she was so little. "So, she has no idea where I went?"

Annie giggles and shakes her head, her brown pigtails bouncing about crazily with the movement. Suddenly, her adorable face falls. I nudge her in the arm with my elbow and question her downfallen features. Letting out a little sigh, the girl says, "I have to be getting back now. I'm only allowed to leave for an hour, Sadie."

The ache in my heart rears its ugly head at her words. Realizing that we've already been out here for nearly half an hour, I scan the park for my petit blond friend. Out of nowhere, Lucy comes bounding up to the pair of us. "Hey, gals! Ready to go, Annie?" she calls out with a generous smile. I fake one in response as Annie shifts her pleading gaze up to me. Standing up, I pull her to her feet. Her doe eyes start watering at the corners when Lucy grabs her hand to lead her away. Seeing as Annie plants her feet into the rich, green grass, she releases her tiny fingers from her own.

"Sadie?" she whispers in a hushed tone. With one last suspicious glance at the patiently waiting Lucy, Annie continues, "Are you sure I'm gonna like my new family?"

Her innocent worry makes the slowly forming tears in my eyes dangerously close to spilling over. The lump in my throat grows with ever second I spend gazing at her sweet face. I crouch down to the ground and tug her to me. "Hon, you're going to love them. Just like I love you, Annie. Don't you ever forget that."

"I love you, too, Sadie!" Annie exclaims, planting a kiss on my cheek. With one more brilliantly happy grin, she pulls away from me. My hands trail after her as she grabs Lucy's. They remain hanging dejectedly in the still air, framing one of the most heartbreaking scenes I had seen since losing my family. The vision of the receding figures, one being one of my best friends and the other, Annie, my only savoir for years, hand in hand leaves me more broken than ever.

I fall to my knees. My hands, reaching out for one of the few good pieces of my life that is now forever lost, shake. They land in my lap without a sound. I stare down at them, the smooth curves of my palms, the angular lines of my curled fingers. A raindrop lands in the center of my palm. And then another. And another. I raise my head to the sky in defeat. The happy-go-lucky sun spotlights my misery with its warming beams. The blue sky is wide and open, its vastness trying to say that there are so many more possibilities for happiness out there. The white clouds lazily rolling across it, smiling down at me pitifully. Confused, I return my focus to my hands. The raindrops continue to fall on their tragic form.

But they're not raindrops at all, are they?

I lift my feeble hands to my face to keep them from falling.

It's an hour before I find the will to collect myself. I drag myself to my feet and shuffle blindly out of the little park. Aimlessly, I wander down the rough sidewalk. Gradually, the apartments and town houses shift into a quiet street of quaint little shops. Not bothering to pay the shops any attention, I continue on. A loud blast of beautiful music suddenly cuts through the air. Not expecting it, I jump nearly a foot in the air. With a new found sense of curiosity I venture closer to the sound of the blues song. Not two minutes later I stumble upon _Eddy's_ _House of Legendary Music. _

The shop itself is nothing special. It's just a little hole in the wall kind of place. But the glass door is swung wide open, and there's the melancholic measures of a bluesy tune sliding out it like honey. Like a moth to flame, I find myself drawn into the little store. The pungent combination of stale coffee and cigar smoke assaults my nose, but that is no deterrent to me. The infinite number of jumbled records strewn and stacked haphazardly across the cramped room couldn't be kept from me by anything. Jaw slacked in awe, I pause in the center of it all. The titles and artist of the paper covers seemed to scream out to me. All I can think about is how much John would've loved this.

"Can I help ye out, lass?" a gruff voice boomed. Unsuspecting of the presence of another person, I cringe away from the bodiless voice. Before I can answer, a portly man with a foot long, black bush of a beard appears from behind a shelf toward the back of the shop. His clean shaven head gleams under the dim lights on the cracked-tile ceiling. I simply gape at him, speechless.

"Ye looking fer some music?" he wonders in a gentler voice. Recovering from my surprise, I shrug noncommittally. "What kind of taste ye got? Rock 'n' roll, blues, jazz?"

"I don't really have any money to get anything, I'm so sorry. I just heard the music and I had to come in," I admit sadly. The short, gruff man offers me an understanding smile. "That's alright, darlin'. I know the feeling."

"I wish my boyfriend were here," I continue somewhat absently. The word boyfriend rolls off my tongue a little unsurely because it sounds like so much less than what John means to me. I can just picture the way his dark eyes would light up like a little kid on Christmas at the sight of all this music.

"He a musician?" the man guesses with a smirk.

I nod sheepishly, sure that he's heard the story of thousands of wannabe rockstars. "Yea. He's in a band with three other boys. They're quite amazing, and I'm not just saying that. They've got something special, I think," I inform him.

Seemingly more curious than before, the man leans forward over the counter and asks, "They've played gigs?"

"A lot. At the Cavern."

"I see. They got a name?"

Groaning, I hung my head and reluctantly nod. When the guy asks about my strange reaction, I sigh, "Those idiots are calling themselves _Johnny and the Moondogs._ Tell me that's not completely embarrassing!"

He lets out a hearty, belly laugh in agreement with me. Chuckling, he says, "Aye, that isn't the best I've heard, yer right. Well, despite the awful name, you've got me intrigued. I just might have to drop in at the Cavern to hear these _Moondogs _of yours. And listen, a friend of me brother is a producer at Global Records. If I like what I see, I'll give 'im a call. What do ye say?"

I stare at this man in wonder. His smile is genuine, and there's the twinkle of a kindred spirit in his faded blue eyes. "Are you being serious? You'd really do that? You have no idea what that would mean for them!" I exclaim in delight.

He nods knowingly, "Oh, yes, I think I do. Just tell 'em to play their finest set. I want good songs, good music. I'm glad you stumbled in today...?"

Realizing he wanted my name, I pipe up, "Sadie. Sadie Rigby."

"Well, Sadie Rigby, you head on out and have herself a grand old time in this fine city. I hope we meet again." Without another word, the man disappears into the back of the shop. I frown, a little puzzled by his abrupt dismissal, but then an overwhelming sense of giddiness arises. With a million watt grin, I exit the store and make my way down the street. This could be the real deal. I could finally help John out. Return the favor of the amazing opportunity he's given to me. I can imagine it now, the fame these boys of mine could achieve. Everyone doubts John's aspirations of becoming globally known, and while I often think he can be completely unrealistic, I don't believe he's all that far off on that one.

* * *

"Ahhh, three days isn't near enough!" Lucy cries in distraught.

"Well, I'm just happy I got to see Annie. Thanks so much, Lucy. You have no idea what this means to me!" I gush once again. Lucy rolls her pretty blue eyes at my gratefulness. The sun is high in the sky, her shadow thin on the rough bricks of the building supporting her. She pushes away from the wall and smiles, "What are friends for, Sadie? I just wish you could stay longer. I hate having to share you with that wanker of a boyfriend you've got yourself."

Giggling at her blatant display of distaste for John, I shake my head and say, "Come on, I practically shunned Rita with how much time I spent with you. And you know I've got to get out of here. Even if John wasn't around, you know I couldn't stay here."

Her happy face falls a little when she accepts the truth of my words. Nodding in understanding, she pulls me in for a hug. I grow a little suspicious when she lets out a teasing chuckle. "That, and that idiot would probably die if you left him alone any longer."

Defensively, I counter with, "Shut up! We're not that clingy! You're just jealous that you don't have-"

"A moody musician of a delinquent?" she teases with a knowing tone. Realizing just how much I'm going to miss my friend, I throw my arms around her and pull her tight to me. The faintest scent of strawberries tickles my nose as I tuck my face into the side of her neck. "I feel like I'm five," I choke out around the forming lump in my throat. I let out a shaky laugh trying not to tear up. I really hate good-byes.

"Hang in there, Sadie-Mae. We'll see each other soon," she reassures me, backing away. I shake my head to clear out my sad thoughts. Lucy playfully kicks in my direction, "Now, git! Shoo!"

"Love you, Luce!" I shout after her as we head our separate ways. Head hung low sadly, I amble back to the doorway Rita is standing in. The tall woman hooks an arm around my shoulders and guides me down the sidewalk. She hands me my worn out bag and I sling it over my shoulder. "Sorry I wasn't there to help you with the exhibit. I know I was supposed to be working, but..." I try to apologize glumly.

Rita chuckles beside me, "Darlin', a woman knows when she's being used as an excuse."

I am speechless for a second. And then guilt comes crashing down over me. "Ah, now I feel horrible. I just had to get back here, Rita. And saying I was just here for work with you was the only way that I would've been allowed to come."

"Closure is the only way you'll ever be able to mend that broken heart of yours, Miss Sadie," Rita tells me in a warm voice. Her words, her somehow knowing the whole reason I needed so desperately to return without even knowing any of the story, her comforting arm around me. It's all too much. She stops the both of us and presses a motherly kiss to my cheek the second I start trembling. "Sweetheart, you're goin' to be just fine. I know that there's a lot here that you aren't fond of, but someday you'll look back on it and it won't all be bad."

"Rita, where have you been all my life?" I laugh, turning to hug her. Her flowery skirt whips around my bare legs as her arms slip around my waist. Growing up with bitter, abusive women in my life has left me wary of people and without a strong figure to look up to. I refused to let myself feel that Rita is anything more than a really fun, crazy boss, but I know better. She's become the mother figure I haven't had since I was nearly ten. And I have no idea how to handle such a strong trusting feeling. But in this moment, none of that crosses my mind. I just hug her and pretend that she's my mom. And just like I had with Lucy earlier, I feel like I'm a little girl again with the way I'm clinging to her. I haven't felt so peaceful with someone else like this with someone other than John in years. So peaceful, that is, until I take a deep breath, and look up.

And right into the cold, beady eyes I had hoped I would never strike fear into me again.

Only they do.

Instantly, my blood runs ice cold, terror flooding through my veins. Seven of the most horrifying years of my short life crash through me like a derailed freight train. The all too familiar hand of icy terror clutches at my heart, freezing it mid beat. The hauntingly harsh features of that scary face narrow in on me like a hawk on it's prey. Her thin eyebrows shoot up into her forehead, her chapped lips pinched together disapprovingly.

Holy Shit.

Rita doesn't even know what hit her as I tear myself out of her arms. Without a sensible thought running through my head, I take off like a goddamn bat outta hell. Fear grips my whole body as I pump my legs. Faster. Faster. The burn in my legs hardly even register while I sprint down the middle of the road. Screams follow after me like the shadowy ghosts of my past. Faint, but always following. My bag slips off my shoulder, but I could care less. No longer am I a 17 year old with a group of great friends and a loving boyfriend. In such a moment, I am the scared ten year old backed in the corner for the first time. Hit for the first time. Broken. For the first time.

All I can think about is all the beautiful things I'm going to lose now. Because despite my running, I know she'll catch me. How can she not? She always wins. She always beats me down. She's always in control. She. Always. Wins.

No more Paulie. Georgie. Pru. Mimi. Stu. No more freedom. No more being free of fear. And dear God. No more John.

At that thought, tears flood my eyes. Vision blurred. Heart racing. Fear rising. I've never been so utterly hopeless in my life. It feels like my heart is being crushed just by the mere thought of her. But nevertheless, I keep on running. As if I can outrun all the bad things that have happened in my life. As if by doing that could run toward all the good things.

The train station looms in front of me now. Not entirely sure if she is following me, I dart down a side street to throw her off. After that, the next few minutes are all a blur. The next thing I know, Rita finds me crouched in the doorway of _Eddy's House of Legendary Music. _

"Sadie?" her soothing voice asks hesitantly. Receiving no response from me, the gentle woman reaches a hand down to me. Still beyond terrified, I forget where I am for a second and press myself as close to the door as I can. I whimper, "Please. Please don't hurt me."

"Hurt you? Sadie, what on God's green earth are you talking about?" Rita questions in a concerned voice. "Darlin', tell me what's wrong?"

Something about her snaps me out of my state. Her worried eyes can do nothing but watch as I struggle to catch my breath. She sits beside me and scoops my trembling body into her arms. She strokes my windblown hair as the sob I've been holding back rips through me.

"S-she's gonna f-find me, Rita. What d-do I do?" I cry in despair. She tries to shush my concerns, but it does nothing.

"Who, Sweetheart? Who's going to find you?"

"M-ms. Kollins."

* * *

"Darlin', I have no idea what happened back there, but I understand that it's probably nothing you want to talk about. Just promise me if you do want you, that you'll come to me?" Rita murmurs to me in the secluded box on the train. I nod absently as I stare out the window. The iron beast rolls slowly out of the station, and the farther we get from London, the more I relax. Letting out a massive sigh, I turn to Rita.

"Did you see that woman across the street? Right after I, uh, left?" I whisper in the voice of a frightened child. The artist frowns for a moment in concentration. "Now that you mention it, yes. She had on a gray skirt and a white blouse? Rather frightful looking woman, to be honest."

"Did she-did she try to follow me? Or maybe talk to you?"

"Why no. She walked into the post office and came back out a few seconds later. She walked in the opposite direction, actually," Rita recalls in a confused manner.

An unexpected wave of relief washes over me. So she wasn't chasing after me at all. She's forgotten me? Can I be that lucky? She isn't a woman to give up. But this is it. All that fear for nothing? It's over? I'm free now?

I'm free now.

As the train steams on closer to Liverpool, my mind wanders to the wonderful boy it brings me closer to every minute. As I think of John, and all the other wonderful people I've come to think of as my new family, a tentative smile slips onto my face, free of fear, at long last.

* * *

_**A/N:**__** I know it's been a long while...once again. I do love the beginning of this chapter, but the last half I just couldn't get out like the way I wanted to. But oh well, hope you enjoy it all the same:)**_

_**xxRoseByAnyOtherName215xx**_


	25. Maxwell's Silver Hammer

_Chapter Twenty Five  
Maxwell's Silver Hammer_

There's nothing that makes you feel more at home than the feel of a loved one's arms around you. And this statement holds true as I melt into John's warm embrace. Just the feel of his heartbeat against mine erases all the stress the past three days have brought me. If he notices the desperate, vice-like grip I'm using to cling to him, he hasn't said.

"Luv, I missed ye," he murmurs into my ear. I simply sigh, releasing all my pent up emotions. "I missed you, too, Johnny."

"And I missed both of you!" Rita exclaims teasingly to break up our little reunion. We jump apart, not ashamed to be caught, just in surprise at her sudden appearance. John shoots her a confused look. In response, Rita elaborates, "I may as well've left her here with you for all I saw of her! I felt so...abandoned!" I blush a light pinks as she teases me. John simply rolls his eyes at her dramatics before leaning down to pick up my bag. He slings it over his shoulder with ease. After a quick farewell to the lovely Rita, John offers me his hand. I entwine my fingers with his as we stroll down the street.

A faint whiff of cinnamon and smoke drift past my nose as a crisp breeze blows past us. I scrunch my nose at the sudden chill and find myself leaning into John for warmth. He places a swift kiss to the top of my head that makes my heart melt. Unfortunately, comfortable as I am to be back here with him, I still can't shake the fear of Ms. Kollins spotting me. Try as I might, I can't stop worrying that I'm being followed. It's an old paranoia from my days spent in the home and I have a feeling seeing _her_ just brought it back. I fake a laugh in all the right places as John animatedly tells me about some crazy fan at his latest gig. I can't help but scan the streets to make sure they're free of crazy caretakers. I whip my head to left when out the corner of my eye I think I spot the she-devil. My abrupt movement is enough to pause John mid-sentence. "...an then this mental bird grabbed-Angel face, y'alright?"

Reassuring myself it isn't her, I squeak, "Oh. Yep. Perfect."

"Are ye sure?" he asks in a wary tone.

Nodding vigorously to assure him, I fake a smile. The boy shoots me a disapproving look before shaking his head. I urge him to continue on with his story even though I'm not really listening. A few more blocks of constant fidgeting and nervous glances and then John stops his tracks. Startled by the sudden lack of motion, I gape up at him.

Gone are the warm, loving eyes that greeted me so happily just a few minutes before. In their place is a stony faced boy with calculating eyes. "Tell me what's wrong," he demands in a firm voice.

Knowing he'll kill me if he finds out Ms. Kollins saw me, I offer a forced, nervous laugh. "What are you taking about?"

"Sadie. Don't lie to me."

"I'm not. Everything's fine. I'm fine."

"Bullshit," he spits. I blink at his harsh tone. Suddenly annoyed, I retort, "Well, what if I just don't want to tell you?"

His jaw clenches. "You don't have to say. I already know."

My face pales the instant he says this. My mouth flaps open and closed as I attempt to piece the right words together. "But-but how did you find out? I mean, it only just happened."

John turns away from me, head hung low. He looks like I've just punched him in the gut. I mean, I know this isn't good by any means, but seeing her shouldn't have warranted this wounded reaction of his. "I knew it," he whispers nearly to himself. Raising his voice, he looks up at me, "The minute we left Rita I could tell. It's not all that hard to figure out. Every time I expect you to say something yer off in another world. Ye've hardly even acknowledged me. And you can't stop looking 'round like yer waitin' for someone to catch you doin' somethin' wrong. Ye practically have guilty written across yer forehead. I can't believe it. I can't believe you, Sadie."

Confused as all hell as to why he's taking this so personally, I reply, "I know it's not a good thing, but why are you taking this so badly? I didn't expect you to be happy about it, but you don't have to be so harsh."

His fists clench and unclench. I can tell how hard he's trying to keep it together. "How can ye stand there an' tell me it's not so bad! Who are you? Because the Sadie I know wouldn't even be able to fathom goin' with some other guy! How are ye takin' this so lightly?"

I frown as I process his angry words. When their meaning hits me I gasp. "John Winston Lennon, are you implying that I cheated on you this weekend!" I shriek indignantly.

"I don't wanna believe it, but yer actin' so-" he tries before I cut him off. "Did it ever occur to your selfish mind that maybe I'm acting so distant and jumpy for another reason!" I shout at him.

John backs a step away as I lay into to him. Self-doubt is evident in his dark eyes but I'm past caring. After being so traumatized this weekend, I am livid.

"I just didn't know what could-"

"Ms. Kollins chased me you assuming, self-centered bastard!" I scream before spinning on my heel and stalking away. Not two seconds later, John appears at my side. "She what!"

"Piss off, John! You clearly didn't care enough to explain before."

In a desperate tone, John pleads, "Sadie, talk to me. I know I-"

"Leave me alone! All I wanted when I was running from her was you, John. _You_. The first person I thought about losing. The last person I could imagine being taken away from. It was all _you_. And to come back to this? I just-" My strained voice cracks and I find myself too embarrassed to continue. I angrily wipe away a pesky tear that escapes my eye. All I can hope for is that he doesn't notice it. Knowing I've stunned him to silence, I take my chance and run before he can follow me.

Classic Sadie move.

Running. After all, it fixes most of life's problems, doesn't it?

* * *

I'm so upset by our stupid fight that I can't be bothered to pay attention to where I'm headed. Before I know it, I'm standing outside the Cavern. Frustrated, I kick out at the air. Everything I now have to take comfort in somehow relates to John. So if he's my problem, how can I find that comfort that he both offers and takes. Shaking my head at myself, I turn to leave. In doing so, I run smack into a wall of flesh.

"Oh dear, I'm so sorry, sir! It's just been a rough night," I apologize in a rush.

"Sir? Since when do I look respectable enough to be called sir?" a familiar voice chuckles. I whip my gaze upwards to meet the gentle eyes of Stu. I feel every wall I have crumble at the sight of such a sweet person. I know he hasn't been the friendliest to me in awhile, but he's still someone I know is there for me. "Oh, Stu, you're a sight for sore eyes," I admit sadly. He freezes when I attack him with a bone crushing hug.

"UK, Sadie? Since when do you hug me?" Stu wonders incredulously.

"Since your friend became an overgrown baby with a ridiculously imaginative, distrusting mind," I mutter into his jacket. He pushes me away from him just enough to see my face. His eyebrows pinch together as they always do when he's troubled by something. "What are you talking about? Did he hurt you?"

Sighing, I answer, " No. You know he'd never do that. But he just needs to learn a lesson. Do you mind if we do something? Anything?"

Stu looks torn and starts to shake his head. "I dunno if that's-"

"Please? Stu, I just need someone right now. I'll go crazy!" I plead somewhat desperately. The thought of being alone after everything that's happened just makes me want to cry. Again. Stu slouches in defeat and nods silently. The two of stroll down the dimly lit sidewalk in companionable silence. I can only imagine what's going through Stu's head right now, but it can't be good. He's been so cold toward me ever since I came back with the intent to stay. And now here I am basically forcing myself on him. I sure know how to drag people down with me, don't? Then again, maybe I can find out why he went from being such a great friend to so standoffish.

"Stu?"

"Yea, Sadie?"

I debate whether or not I should start this. Can I really handle more drama? Evidently some part of me thought I can because words came tumbling out of my mouth. "Why don't you like me anymore?"

Silence is all I am met with. I sneak a peak over at the boy only to find him looking shocked. "What?"

"Ever since I came back you've been not mean, but certainly not friendly. Did I do or say something to upset you?" I question.

Stu shakes his head in disbelief, dark hair falling in his eyes. "You think I don't like you? Yer crazy!"

"I am not crazy! I'm not the one being all moody and distant every time you try to talk to me. I think you're a really great friend and I just want to make sure I didn't do anything to ruin that," I explain.

The boy beside me falls to a sudden halt and shoves his hands into the pocket of his leather jacket. He hangs his head and whispers, "Please. Don't say that. It only makes it worse."

"Worse?" I echo in confusion, "Make what worse?"

With a defeated sigh, Stu says, "When you say I'm a really great friend."

"But you are. I don't understand. How does saying that make things worse?"

In a murmur, he replies, "Because you remind me that that's all I'll ever be."

Past trying to figure out his cryptic words, I urge, "What are you trying to say, Stu?"

"That I've been trying to keep you away for a reason."

"But why?" I frown. "I thought we were friends."

"Exactly. But friends don't feel the way I feel about you..." Stu murmurs in the saddest voice I've ever heard him use. Oh no, I really don't like where this is going. "I've tried so hard for so long not to do this," Stu groans. Before I can ask what he means his soft lips are on mine.

It takes a second or two for the situation I'm in to fully register. With a shocked squeal. I shove Stu away from me. His normal James Dean image isn't recognized as a dazed, dreamy eyed school boy shakes his head shamefully. Too surprised to do much else, I simply stare. Then...

"What the actual fuck, Stu?!" I scream. The boy flinches away from my harsh shout.

"I'm so sorry, Sadie. But that what I've been trying to tell you. I've been mean to you so you'd stay away. Every time you're around I fall just a little bit harder," Stu admits in a hoarse voice.

Realizing I probably resemble a deer in the headlights, I shake my head. "No. Stu, you can't. You can't feel that way!"

"But I do! And that's why it kills me when I see you with John. You and me, we'd be perfect together. But being his best friend, I know that you two are meant to be. Which is why I've tried to distance myself from you. But ye make it so damn hard. Yer beautiful. And so wonderfully innocent. It's addicting, Sadie." It sounds like he's been torn up about this for awhile.

"How long?"

"What?"

"How long, Stu?" I demand, lump forming in my throat. I'm on the verge of tears. This is the last thing I need in my life right now

A sigh. "Since the night we went to the art gallery."

Everything inside me is breaking. Falling apart. Not only am I miserable, but now I've dragged someone else down and I can't offer him anything in return.

"No, Stu, you can't. Don't tell me that. John's your best friend."

"He is. And always will be. And I've been trying to get over you. But that a tough thing to do, Miss Rigby. Yer quite extraordinary."

"But I'm really not! I'm nothing! Nothing but a family-less waste of space that causes problems everywhere I go," I argue bitterly. Anger falling away as quickly as it had come, I sigh, "I need to leave, Stu. I'm so, so sorry I can't return your feelings."

I can hear him calling after me as I leave him behind.

Feeling lost and horribly alone with myself, I end up in the first place I should've thought of but the last one I would've. One glance at my defeated posture has Rita opening her creaky wooden door for me.

"Sweetheart, what are you doing here? At one in the morning? Not that your company is unwelcome, but..." Rita questions as she ushers me inside. She guides me into her cozy living room and grabs a blanket for me. I wrap the scratchy wool around my shivering body. "You said if I ever needed to talk to someone..." I trail off nervously. Why did I come here and bother her? This is a dumb idea.

"Well, I can't say that your timing is very good, dear, but you're just in luck. I can't sleep at all tonight, it seems. So a good dose of story time might just be all I need," she teases lightly in an effort to make me smile. Quickly, she realizes that I am far past that. Like any mother might've done for her daughter, Rita takes a seat beside me, wraps an arm around me, and pulls me close. She presses a kiss to the top of my head and sighs. "You can tell me anything, darlin'. Don't be afraid."

Sniffling, I whisper, "Can I tell you _everything_?"

And tell her everything I do.

From the shipwreck that killed my family and my childhood to Annie to Ms. Kollins. To her abuse. TO my struggle to fight the fear she instilled in me. To the trip to Liverpool. To Lucy. To Pru. To the boys and the band and the gigs. To John.

"And I saw her. Ms. Kollins. When I went with you. I had to say good-bye to Annie. John warned me it was too dangerous, but I didn't listen. And now she's seen me and I'm afraid every time I turn a corner she's waiting there to take me back. It's awful." I cry quietly. Rita just continues to listen. "And John knew something was wrong. But instead of asking he assumed I met someone else and we got into a big fight. I knew that both of us were completely wrong, but I ran anyway. Once again. As if that weren't enough, then I ran into Stu. When I asked why he'd been so distant lately he kissed me ad admitted he fell for me! Rita, I just don't know what to do anymore!"

The wise woman simply sits there. Silent. Waiting for some fortune cookie like response, I'm shocked when she goes, "Goddamn woman! And I thought I had problems!"

"Rita!" I exclaim in a mix of horror and amusement.

"What? That's a lot to take in all at once. It's overwhelming," she admits. "And sweetie, I know that all you want from me is to spit out some perfectly scripted words of wisdom to help you solve all your problems, but the truth is there are none. You have to take life in strides. I certainly can't help you sort out this mental woman, though I'd love nothing more than to see her rot in hell for daring to touch a single hair on that pretty red head of yours. But as for these boys? Sadie, you said it yourself that they're family. John's way of dealing with things is different than yours, as well as Stu's. Unfortunately, there's not much you can do for Stu. But you can fix what happened between you and that trouble maker. He doesn't much like the type to openly admit his feelings, but I think that you just might have to make him."

"Rita? I wish you could've met my mother. You're just like her, you know?" I yawn. All at once the weight of the day hits me. Rita lays me down on the couch and covers me with another blanket. "Sweet dreams," her musical voice murmurs. Unsure of whether I'm still awake or already dreaming, I hear, "You're too beautiful a person for the things life has given to you. But then, maybe that's where the beauty's come from."

* * *

"...just want to see her. I know I messed up. I'm here to fix it. I figured she wouldn't want me anywhere near her last night. Thank you, ma'am," a voice cuts through my dream. Blinking my eyes open, I remember that I spent the night at Rita's. I sit up slowly and shove the thick blankets off. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I get up and shuffle towards the voices. All signs of sleep dissolve the instant my eyes land on John.

His dark eyes soften at the sight of me. Despite knowing Rita's words were right, I can't help but be a little standoffish. He assumed I cheated on him out of nowhere and I'm not about to let him get away with it that easily. "Sadie," he sighs in relief. I offer him a curt nod. We both shoot hinting glances at Rita who's idly sitting by smiling at us. She finally gets our silent dismissal and disappears. "Oh Sadie, I'm so sorry!" John exclaims. "I'm just not used to a real relationship. I've trusted all the wrong kinds of people before. Don't quite know how I could trust them and not you."

I nod, accepting that. "But it was still totally uncalled for."

He hangs his head shamefully, brown bangs shading his eyes. "I know I can trust ye more than anyone else, but that's just the thing. I've never had anyone like ye before, so now, I don't know how I could lose someone like ye. I don't ever want that. I don't know what I'd do back on my own," John finishes softly.

Not hard-pressed to keep him suffering any longer, I launch myself into his arms. John staggers back at the impact yet still recovers in time to spin me around. "God, I love ye, my angel face," he murmurs in my ear.

"Johnny, you should know I love you more than anything. Now, don't let that go to your head. I just think it's something worth remembering on those rainy days," I declare. I don't take my eyes off his as he gently lets me slide down. He stops me just before my feet are on the ground. Held up on my tiptoes by his strong arms, I'm the one with the devilish smile. Poor sap's stuck lifting me up as I crash my lips onto his.

* * *

I whirl around when I feel a deliberate tap on my shoulder. In a rowdy club full of flying limbs, one grows used to being bumped around a bit, so it's often ignored. But this is very much intentional. To my surprise, it's a rather familiar short, gruff man. His pale blue eyes that hide notice the sadness in others that goes unseen by most are twinkling with excitement when they meet mine. "Sadie, right?" he shouts over the music.

I'm so shocked to see him that I can't form proper words for a second. Instead, I just offer him a genuine smile. Just as I finally open my mouth to speak, I hear a voice roar excitedly, ""There's my angel face!" John roars over the booming music. I smile at the sight of his outrageously happy grin. The boy pushes past the last person dancing between us. He slips his arms around my waist and places a sloppy kiss on my cheek. "That was amazing, Johnny! You lot played so well!" I declared rather loudly. Paulie and Georgie appear from the depths of the crowd, the older one's arm draped across the other's shoulders. The two of them reach us just as John frowns and questions, "Er, Sadie, who's this?"

Momentarily forgetting about my musically connected friend, I shoot John a smirk and say, "This, Johnny, is..." I pause in horror when it dawns on me that I don't even know this man's name. He lets out a hearty laugh and holds out a friendly hand. John shakes it warily and glances at me questioningly. "Name's Eddy. Eddy Maxwell."

"Sorry, mate, should I know who ye are?" John wonders cautiously upon releasing Eddy's hand. The man shakes his head and replies, "No, I shouldn't think so. But the name Silver Hammer Records might ring a bell, yea?"

At the casual drop of the name, the faces of all three boys freeze. John's eyes widen comically and he simply stares in amazement. Recovering rather slowly, he sputters out, "S-silver Hammer? Why in God's name would they be hear?"

"I met yer girlfriend over here back in London. Came to my record shop an' we got to talkin' about a certain band. Something about the _Moondogs_?"

John visibly blushed at the name and promises, "I swear we're planning a better name! I swear!"

"That's alright, lad. Every band goes through that phase. But anyway, I was telling Sadie, here, that I might come check you lads out. A friend of my brother runs that record label. He asked me to keep an ear out for good music. And I think I've just found it in you young fellows. Haircuts an' a new name would do ye some good, but I don't see why I shouldn't make my way over to him tomorrow. Tell him I've got the perfect band."

John's too stunned to even think so Paul steps up and thanks Eddy profusely. He simply shakes his head. "No, no. If there's anyone ye should be thankin', lads, it's that bird right there." John turns his head to follow the finger pointed at me. The corners of his lips twitch upwards in a tender smile. Eddy winks knowingly at me before the boisterous patrons of the club swallow him and drag him away. I don't get the chance to see him leave because I am attacked y a barrage of hugs. Paul and George squeeze me in a bear hug so tight I fear I might actual suffocate. An unfamiliar warmth spreads through me at the sound of their gracious words and hugs. I hold these idiots tight to me, grateful that, even in this crazy world of mine, I have managed to be such a part of their lives. To know that I've made a difference, be it a small one, in their lives is quite literally heart warming, I've come to realize.

Their embraces gradually loosen and we all just smile goofily at each other. I sneak a peak over at John. An uncomfortable knot forms itself in the pit of my stomach at the sight of his emotionless face. I'm pretty sure a statue moves more than he is at the moment. That's never a good sign. Without a word, John spins on his heel and disappears into the sea of crazed people. I share a worried exchange with Paul. The younger boy's grin dulls and he stares at the space his best friend had just left unoccupied. Waving me back, Paul says, "Don't worry yerself. Have fun with Georgie, I'll go talk to him."

And with that, I am left alone feeling quite conflicted. I am torn between leaving it to Paulie and following John anyway. In the end, I figure it must be a silly guy thing. Well, at least that's what I let myself believe. Something in my gut tells me it's not quite that simple. And not ten minutes later, Paulie returns to prove that it's not.

"Um, Sadie? John wants ye outside. Where ye first came in all those months ago? Says it's important," Paul sighs dramatically. He seems almost amused and that does nothing to reassure my frantic nerves. It takes me a while, but eventually, I manage to reach the off stage door. Letting out a deep breath, I shove the heavy thing open.

John's standing with his back facing me, and I can tell by his hunched shoulders that something is bothering him. I approach him as one might approach a timid,unpredictable animal, cautiously and watchfully. I place my hand between his tensed shoulder blades instead of using words as a greeting. His body instantly relaxes at my touch which calms me some. "Johnny, what's wrong? I thought you'd be happy."

The boy shakes his head slowly and my heart sinks. He turns to face me almost reluctantly. "I'm sorry," he stammers out, suddenly apologetic. I frown. "For what?"

John lets out a frustrated sigh. With a hoarse voice, he attempts to explain. "Sadie. Ye've got to understand. I am more than happy. I'm ecstatic. I know I don't look it, but I am. But why should I be? Why do I deserve this? Why me? Why me when I've done nuthin' but mistrust ye and treat ye like dirt. There I was not three days ago accusing ye of cheatin' when in fact ye were back in London bein' scared to death. And even then, ye still somehow managed to find me the one opportunity to live out my most unrealistic dream. I've done nuthin' for ye and yet ye've changed my whole world. And so effortlessly, it seems. I feel like shit because even though I know I don't deserve any of it, I know I'm gonna take it all. I'm so selfish. It makes me ill but I can't seem to stop myself. And here's you, the most selfless person I know."

I wipe a tear from my cheek feeling silly that it even managed to escape at all. In the sweetest tone I can muster up, I murmur, "Johnny, there's no one in the world that makes me feel the way you do. No one makes me, an orphan, feel more at home than you do. No one makes me feel as happy. As loved. There's no doubt in my mind that you're a good person. We all have flaws, so don't worry about yours. We both have to work on trusting each other, but we knew that from the start. I think we realize that both of us are missing pieces of ourselves, but Johnny, together, we're whole. So will you please promise me that you'll stop over thinking so much and just live to live and love to love?"

Without a word, John crushes me to him in a desperate hug. He buries his face in the crook of my neck as I knot my finger in his hair. "I love you, John," I whisper. Shivers shoot down my spine when he places several, feathery light kisses up and down my neck. "Sadie, yer perfect. I love ye, too."

"John?"

"Yea?"

"Everything's about to change isn't it?"

Silently, John draws his head up to gaze down at me. He simply says, "Yes, it is. But the one thing that's not gonna change is this. You an' me. I'm afraid yer quite stuck with me."

I smile up at this wonderful, lively boy and can't help but pray to God that he's right. I could never lose this. Just one taste of what life with John could be like had me hooked. But change is almost never welcome in my world. So in this rare moment, I let myself cling to John and dream of a life with no outside interruptions.


	26. She's Leaving Home

**_A/N: _**

**_PLEASE READ THIS!_**

**_I'm sure most of you are mad at me for taking so long to update but the truth is that I'm just not all that invested in this story anymore. I started this when I was in eighth grade and now i'm a junior, so obviously my interests have changed. I wasn't even sure I was going to continue this, I was thinking about just making the previous chapter the end, but I felt awful leaving such amazing people as yourselves unsatisfied yet again. I admit this is the shortest chapter of the story, but only by a couple hundred words. writing for this is like pulling teeth at the moment, i'm so sorry._**

**_in my latest absence, though, I've been working on two other stories. _**_Toward September_**_ and _**_Never Forget_**_. They're on my wattpad account, and they're what I've been spending all my time on. It would mean the world to me if you'd read them! I promise that I update both of them every couple of days (my inspiration for them comes so easy it's unbelievable)! I can't leave a link here but my username is JerichosRiot!_**

**_Anyway, hope you enjoy, sorry if this chap is a little confusing. _**

_Chapter Twenty Six  
__She's Leaving Home_

"I still can't believe we're going boys!" Georgie cries out in delight, twirling around Pru excitedly. The young girl blushes profusely as her crush circles her. Lucy stands off to the side in a murmured conversation with Paul having come all the way from London just to see the boys off. Mimi waits by the gate with an indifferent expression on her sophisticated face. John's got his arms around me so tight I'm afraid he'll never let go. I bury my face in the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent for what would be the last time for months. "I'm so happy for you lot," I whisper. The fact that they had gotten a chance to go on a legitimate tour is beyond amazing. John's dream of becoming a real musician is finally coming true.

"I'm happy too, Sadie, but I really don't wanna leave ye behind," John murmurs in my ear. Smiling, I lift my head to look at him. His hazel eyes are sad but a little excited for the unknown that lays in wait for them. "Johnny, your band is going on tour. A real tour. Sure, it's in Germany, and that's far away. But this is the opportunity you've been waiting for, isn't it?"

"Stop being right all the time, it's aggravating," he chuckles playfully, swaying me from side to side. "But we never coulda done this without you, my angel face. Silver Hammar never would've known our names if it weren't for you."

I brush off the compliment and simply savor the feel of his arms around me, his lips on my cheek. They'll be leaving with him in just a few moments. The fog horn of the massive ship sounds and we both nearly jump a foot in the air. He lets out a carefree laugh, throwing his head back. I feel the laughter shake his body and I soon join in. I don't even know where the giggles came from, but I found myself unable to stop.

"Hey, mate, it's the final call, we gotta scram," Paul insists. I reluctantly free myself from John long enough to give Paul and George the strongest bear hugs I can manage. "We're gonna miss you, Sadie," George admits before pulling away and running up the gangplank. Paul pulls me off to the side. "Sadie," he begins, looking far more serious than I cared to see, "Ye fixed my best friend. There ain't no other way to say it. Thank ye." And without another word, Paulie is gone to.

I finally turn back to John. Oh, John. My heart seems to have suddenly caught up to my mind because now it's screaming at me to convince him not to go. I don't want to be alone any more than the next person, but that doesn't mean I'm ready to end his dream.

I pull him close, relishing the feel of his racing heart against my own. "I'll be back before you know it, my angel face. I love you," John murmurs with conviction. I bite back my tears and simply press a chaste kiss to his lips. "I love you too, Johnny. Behave will you?"

He lets me go and hesitantly makes his way up the gangplank. Seeming suddenly decided, he rushes back down and crashes his lips down onto mine. Taken aback, I remain frozen for a moment. Not long after, I throw every emotion I have into that last kiss. Every smile, every butterfly, every kiss, everything he's ever made me feel and love.

With a devilish grin, he pulls away and shoots me a wink before disappearing from view.

Standing there, breathless, fingers touching my tingling lips, watching the ship slowly disembark is such sad experience but I can't help but feel it couldn't have happened any other way. Our story is beautiful, unique, rare. But, as I watch the ship grow smaller and smaller, I can't shake the feeling that it's coming to an end.

* * *

_Three Months After..._

"Mimi! I'm home!" John calls out excitedly, bursting into the once familiar house. He bounds happily into the kitchen in search of his aunt and his love. "My angel face, I'm back!" The house is shrouded in silence. The only sound is the low hum of the refrigerator. His good mood slowly deflating, John takes the stairs two steps at a time and throws open the door to his room. The bed was unmade, sheets strewn about haphazardly, clothes half hanging out of drawers, the closet door flung wide open. There is no sign of Sadie's drawing supplies. It looks...stale. Dread suddenly fills John and with a shout, he dashes from the room and heads back downstairs.

He flies past the living room at first until movement catches his eye. He enters the small room with a flustered face. "Mimi!"

His aunt avoids his gaze and simply stares down at the cup of tea in her hands. "Mimi? What's wrong? Where's Sadie?"

After releasing a troubled sigh, her haunted brown eyes finally meet his. They're watery and red. Realization dawns on him at last. He begins to shake his head, "No. No."

"I'm so sorry, John," Mimi whispers, "but she's gone."

"What! Why wouldn't you tell me!" John screams.

Mimi chokes back a sob. "She wouldn't let me tell you. She told me she'd be fine and that if you knew, you'd leave the tour and come for her. She didn't want you to lose your chance. And now look at you. You're going on another tour!"

"I want my angel face, not another fuckin' tour!" John bursts out before falling to his knees. Mimi comes over and sits herself on the rug beside him. He buries his face in her neck when she hesitantly wraps her arms around him. "What happened, Mimi? Where is she?"

* * *

_One month earlier..._

"Mimi! I'm headed out for the day!" I call out cheerfully. "Just be back before 3! We're having dinner with the neighbors at 5!" she responds. I swing open the door and skip down the steps. Pru's waiting by the road and waves excitedly when she catches sight of me. "Morning, Sadie!" We link arms and make our way down the street. She asked yesterday if she could join me at Rita's studio. The older artist and I are planning on having a fun day messing around with new colors, most likely resulting in yet another messy paint war.

The three of us get up to our usual antics. Three hours later we find ourselves covered in hues of blues and reds and greens. Rita, a woman who most certainly couldn't be thirty something with the way she behaves, is the worst of us. She offers no mercy in our war of colors. Pru whines that her mother is going to kill her when she finds all the blue paint that streaks her dark locks. We simply tell her that to hang out with artists one must be willing to get a little dirty. She grumbles at the both of us but her smile never fades.

She's so unlike the girl that used to taunt me I can hardly believe they were the same person. I can't help but think about how different my life has become in just the past few months. I had made so many friends, so much family, and found so much love. Who could ask for more?

I walk Pru home to make sure she doesn't get lost. Again. Before I turn to go, Pru attacks me with a hug. "Sadie, you're the best friend anyone could ask for, you know that, right?"

I simply laugh and shrug her off but she seems earnest. "No, I mean it. Without you, I still might be that awful girl you used to know. So thank you for showing me it's okay to be myself again."

"You're welcome, Pru, but you should know you did all that yourself," I respond. With a final hug, I leave her there, dark eyes filled with unshed tears watching me go. I find myself looking back at her once more. I soak in her appearance, yellow dress littered with green paint, dark hair pulled into a bun, eyes soft and inviting. I take a mental picture of it to store in the back of my mind. I have a growing feeling that I'm going to need it.

I only realize how right I was about that when I finally round the corner to Mimi's street. There's an unfamiliar car parked at the end of it. It's sleek black color strikes me as foreboding. Frowning, I make my way down the road toward that familiar red brick. I come to a frozen stop before I even reach the gate.

My heart forgets how to pump and falls uselessly to my stomach.

"Ah, Sadie, how good to finally meet again," her oily voice greets. The devilish smile on her horrid face strikes me with more fear than I've felt in months now. I stand there, gaping in utter shock at the woman who ruined my life. "You thought you could run, girl, but I never lose. Yer coming back with me."

Those words pull me out of my shock and I take off down the street like a bat out of hell. Legs pumping faster than ever before I sprint down the road that holds the house I'd finally come to call my home.

Adrenaline pumps through my veins as I fly down the sidewalk. I duck down another road and cut through someone's back yard. Terror mixes with that adrenaline when I hear her voice on the wind. The mix is like a bolt of energy, and I glide through the trees. I pop out on a different street, one I've never ventured to. Not worrying about getting lost at the time, I take my chances and continue down it. I run and run and run until I feel like my lungs might burst.

I have no idea where I am. All I know is that the strain I just put on my body is too much. My vision blurs, rapidly going in and out of focus. My throat feels like it's closing in on itself. I swear my heart is about to burst right through my chest. I stagger forward, putting out a hand to the side of the nearest building to balance myself. My vision goes blurry once again, only instead of focusing itself again, it goes black.

* * *

"No!, Mimi! Don't let her take! I can't go back!" I cry in fright. My terrified sobs freeze the poor woman. John's aunt watches in horror as Ms. Kollins' men drag me down the sidewalk. I kick and scream but their grasp never falters. Ms. Kollins is waiting by the car, the gleam in her eyes promising nothing but horror. My world is crashing down around me, and the only person I need is having the time of his life touring Germany. Thinking of John gives me an extra burst of energy. I dig my heel into the foot of one of the men and bite the arm of the other. They yelp in shock, and I take off back to Mimi's arms when they let go of me.

"Surely, we can come to an agreement. We are both level headed women, after all, aren't we?" Mimi tries. She holds me like she'll never let go. I wail in frustration when once again I am ripped from her grasp. "I'm afraid that we've passed the point of negotiation. Terribly sorry. But don't worry, you won't miss this miserable waste of life for long. She's easily forgettable. I'm simply returning her to the only place she belongs."

I'm being stuffed into the car, but just before they close the door, Mimi's authoritative voice booms, "I will come for that girl, Ms. Kollins. She is a daughter to me, and if you think I will see her go without a fight then you are a foolish woman."

"Good luck," the devil herself spits.

I sob pitifully into my hands in the backseat of the car. It smells foul, like cigarettes and booze. I can only half remember how I ended up back here. I was running and running and then everything started to go dark. I woke up to some overly large hunk of muscle dragging me down the street. The man remains faceless to me as his features, surely as sinister as his fearsome hold on my arm, would only cause me more nightmares if they were to become known. Ms. Kollins was waiting smugly back at Mimi's for me.

John's aunt had been traumatized, darting fretfully about, doing all in her power to keep me away from that awful woman. She cried with me as I was forced to shove everything I could fit into one measly bag. I forced myself not to go in John's room, afraid to make leaving that much harder. I left most of my sketchbooks there knowing that he would need something of me when he returned.

I was almost emotionless as I crammed my belongings into my bag and strode down those comforting halls one last time. I had finally found a home, and just as soon as I had, it was lost to me again.

During my brief moments with Mimi, I told her everything I'd never been able to say. She was the kindest woman I had ever met, despite her attempts to hid it. She meant more to me than she would ever know. The hardest part of saying good-bye was telling her what to say to John. She hated every bit of my plan but I could see in her eyes that she knew it was only for the best.

That still doesn't make leaving any easier. I'm terrified of what lies ahead of me. Ms. Kollins is surely going to punish me for my rebellious behavior, and I can only imagine what it might be. I mean, if I ran away because she tried to kill me, what might she do _after_ I've ran away?

Mimi is still screaming for me as the car violently screeches away. I only sob harder, the reality of leaving sinking in. I think of all the things I'm losing. Liverpool. Life. Happiness. Pru. Rita. Mimi. Paulie. Georgie. John.

The last has me bawling my eyes out.

"I hate you!" I shriek in a previously unknown level of anger. My banshee like pitch causes Ms. Kollins to jump in the front seat. "I fucking hate you!"

Her greasy smile sickens me to the core. "Well, at least we know the feeling's mutual, you filthy brat. Yer lucky I found ye. That bitch would've tossed ye out on the street sooner or later. But with me, oh with me, darlin', ye've got yerself a home _forever_."

I've never felt more disgusted in my life. With every mile that brings us closer to London, I can feel the old feelings of despair in hopelessness seeping back in. I swore to John I would never let myself be anything but happy again, but with the current situation, I feel like that's the only thing I'll never be again.

* * *

"I talked to ye every week, Mimi! How could ye not tell me what happened?" John demands in an angry fit. He violently rips himself from his aunt's grasp, disgusted that she had lied to him.

"She wanted it that way, John. Do think it didn't kill me, lying to you every time you asked for her?" Mimi retorts defensively. In truth, the woman just didn't have it in her heart to break his over the phone. How does one tell another that the love of his life has been taken away so abruptly?

"Where is she? Is she back in London?" John wonders anxiously, his fury deflating as quickly as it had come. Mimi shakes her head, unable to say anything more to him. She isn't sure how to break any more bad news to her beloved nephew.

In a quiet, broken voice, John pleads, "Tell me, Mimi. I need to know where she's gone. I need to find her."

Choking back a sob, Mimi coughs out, "She's gone, John."

The teen rolls his eyes in impatient frustration. "I know that. That's pretty much all I know."

"No, Johnny. She's _gone_," Mimi repeats, stressing her words. John's anxious movements fall still as he studies her heartbroken face. Dread floods his already distressed eyes. Before he can ask, she elaborates, "I went to London to find her, bring her back. It wasn't but two days after. I got there but they said she was already gone."

Hope springs into John's eyes, his features brightening up. "Then they must know where she went! We have to go find out!" He rushes to the door, grabbing his coat off the rake as he flies by.

"John!" Mimi calls. He pauses and looks back to her. "I already know where she's gone."

John watches her expectantly.

"She's in America."

* * *

_**A/N: yea, sorry about it's out of orderness but that's just how my mind is functioning today. it's kind of on overload, sorry:/**_


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